Twelve. The Fears Of A Teenage Boy

         Steve Harrington feared being alone.
 
He hated it, because he was always alone. Alone in a big house with no souls, and a haunted pool with a soul. (He hated swimming now too, but that's besides the point.) Steve Harrington hated being alone.

So when his girl with honey thick hair and blue ocean bays for eyes was gone on cheerleading retreats for weekends a few times every month, he went mad.

Mad in his own head, because he never voiced how he felt. Ever. And maybe that was his first problem. Because after Nancy, he never wanted to say anything remotely about himself again. In fear of being bullshit again. It was a wound that almost never healed it seemed.

Sure, he could've gone on the retreats with his cheerleader, they were just competitions for their routines. But Steve didn't want to go with Vera every single time, he didn't want to bother her every single time. He didn't need her getting tired of him, because that usually ends in abandonment. And he could not be left alone again.

So he did this thing every once in a while that made him feel pathetic.

It was usually hot summer days when she was gone, he'd have the window cracked open in his room upstairs. The sun cutting in through the cracks, it lit the room aflame in a gorgeous soul burning way. He'd have a photo of her by his radio (music of any kind would play. Mostly Stevie Nicks), which was next to his fan (the one he pulled out on summer days). The photo of her moved like it was alive. Like Vera was with him still, like she hadn't left for two days.

He'd sit and watch the photo flutter but never fall to the polished wood floors. And some times when it was all really bad, he'd grab for cigarettes he swore off and would smoke at least three. She'd kill him if she knew.

He'd sit there for hours on end. Then when night hit, he'd get up, close the window and go to bed. It was the same sad routine every time Vera left him.

He never wanted to wonder what would actually happen to his mind if Vera really left.

It was all he could think about now as he laid in her bed, with the moonlight trying to peak in and check on them.

He could feel the curve of her backside against his side. She was sleeping on her side, and he was sleeping (not) on his back.

His anxieties were eating him alive. And as happy he was for Vera that her father did want her, he wished he hadn't come. Because Steve was sure Vera would leave, she'd go anywhere but Hawkins. She'd go in a heartbeat.

"Steve?"

Her voice frightened him, he thought she was asleep. "Y-Yeah?" We winced as his voice cracked, clearing his throat and going again. "Yeah?"

"I don't like this."

It wasn't much but it was also too much. She didn't like the atmosphere of her room, and neither did he. The smallest of disagreements had justified when Vera told Steve what Blue was here for. The thing was, the disagreement had been silent and just facial expressions between the two teenagers.

Getting ready for bed had been in silence and everything after that was too. They weren't even facing each other. Vera had her back to him. This was crazy. He shouldn't have been this reliant on a girl, but things were just so different with Vera. She was nothing like Nancy. Or any girl before that.

She's the girl you know you're going to marry.

"I.. I don't like this either."

His words were softer than hers. More quiet. Weaker than her, because he was, and there was nothing wrong with that. Shuffling then came from next to him, and Vera was now on her back. "Would you'd be mad at me if I left..?" He didn't know what he'd be honestly. He wished she'd ask him to come with her.. But then he's think about Dustin and the rest of the kids. Robin. They both had ties that they didn't know how to let go of to progress in life.

"I'd be more sad than anything, V."

She didn't like that answer, and she wished he said he'd be mad. But she knew Steve, and he never said what he really wanted.

"Be honest. Please. Be mean. I want you to be mean, Steve."

  His eyes screwed shut, and he could hear her head against her pillow turning to look at him. "I.." He took a breath, eyes still shut. Fist clenched at his sides. "I would hate it if you left. I would hate it so fucking much. I think I might even hate you a little for being able to be so happy without me. I know that's unfair. Selfish. Rude. But I.. Vera, I don't think you understand? I love you so fucking much, I would kill myself for you. Ruin it all so you'd be okay. I thought.. That this is what I felt with Nancy, but it's not. This is so much more. This is everything to me. And I would hate it if you left, because I think this stupid fucking town has cursed me. It gave me shit parents and death, death, death. And for once in my life, when I look at you, I don't feel like I'm dying. I feel good. So, please, I'm begging you, I'd get down on my knees if you asked— don't leave.. don't leave me, please."

   He didn't understand why he was so scared. But he couldn't lie, his chest felt lighter with the small
vomit of words. His heart swayed a little as soft fingertips brushed against his cheeks. It took him a moment to realize she was wiping away his tears. He hadn't even realized he was crying.

  "Steve, can you open your eyes for me, please?"

   The simple ask seemed so scary, but he opened his eyes regardless. His insides shook and he suddenly had the urge to throw up every organ, ever. He was staring at the ceiling, eyes opened, eyes glossy.

  Vera smiled gently. "Now, you look at me."

   Steve swallowed, it felt like a mouth of cotton. His head turned the slightest. He needed water. She was hovering over him, propped up on her elbow. She smiled down at him, and he wanted to cry. "Hi, Stevie."

  He blew out a hot breath, it fanned her skin and flickered her baby hairs. "Hi."

   Vera gently poked at the boys bare side, her fingers crawling up his chest like a baby spider. "I get the hatred. I really do."

  There was a but. He knew it. There always was. He wasn't a lucky guy.

  He was holding in air, and it was choking him like mud in his windpipe. Vera sighed gently, "but you're so stupid for thinking I'd go anywhere without you. Obviously, I'd bring you with me and probably shove you in a suitcase." He was crying again, pathetically. He treasured this girl so much.

  "Steve, I would never leave you behind. We haven't even gotten a dog yet."

  He let out a wet laugh, eyes crinkling as tears slipped. Vera beamed, soft wiping at his skin. "If I'd go anywhere, you'd be coming with me. Duh." He felt so so so sick, but he wasn't sure what kind of sick. Vera gasped as his heavy arms weaved around her, yanking the girl onto his skin. They melted into one as she sat on his waist, thighs squeezing his hips. Her hair was fanning the two, and Steve was squeezing so tight it almost hurt. But she'd enjoyed the bruises when they eventually came.

  "Woah. You really do love me."

   Her smile faded a little. Her mind wracked all the things that had happened over the years, over the days. Her best friend was dead. Her father had come for her. Her mother suddenly wanted her.

  And despite that all, Vera only wanted Steve. He was safe. A safety net.

  "I love you."

  Her words seem to shock him, because he paused for a moment. She breathed. He hummed. "And I love you, Vera Elodie Stonem."

   It was a ridiculous metal scientific pull as her lips stapled into his. She sliced him open and made home in his anatomy. She was never leaving. She'd be with him every month, she'd be his spring, summer, autumn, and winter. She'd never leave.

And normally it's a boyish action where his hips roll up into hers, but this time it was hers pressing down into his. Steve whimpered against her mouth, she swallowed it like honey. "You won't leave?" He whispered against her swollen lips.

She shook her head gently, hair tickling his cheeks. "Never, ever. We can be a stupid love song, Harrington?"

He was smiling like a stupid child.

Steve had never slept so good before (after seeing Vera move in the moonlight above him of course). And despite the warmth in Vera's chest and in between her legs, she still couldn't help the pit in her stomach.

She didn't want to die.

To be honest, this might've been the worse car ride yet. Stuck in Nancy Wheeler's trunk with Dustin Henderson and Steve Harrington—munching on chips. Dustin kept dropping crumbs on Vera's white shirt that peaked out from her overalls. The morning supply run for Eddie had been an anxious filled one with the events at the Creel Home yesterday.

"Not to be a wimp, but maybe I can sit in the car for this visit? 'Cause this is gonna totally and royally suck."

Vera leaned her head back, looking at Robin upside down. With Vera's neck craned at its angle, Steve took it upon himself to trace her skin with his knuckles like it was star made. Dustin grimaced at the affection.

Nancy sighed. "It'll be fine."

Robin huffed, head rolling to the side in defeat. "I can't stand to see those dull beady eyes of Eddie's break again. I really, really can't."

Steve hummed, mouth muffled with chips. "At least he can drink himself into feeling better." The six pack of beer slightly stabbed into Vera's jean clad thigh. Steve patted the container.

"That's what my mom does," Max said.

Vera beamed, "my mom does that too!" She was still upside down.

Dustin scoffed, shoving Vera's side gently. "That's not something to brag about?"

Robin cut in again: "Why don't we just give it a trial run? Hey Eddie. Uh, good news first this time. We got you some Dustin—approved junk food and that six-pack you requested! Oh, yeah, and we found Vecna. Only bad news is that he's in the other, darker, much scarier dimension that we told you about, and the gates closed, so we have no way of getting to him. Like, he's entirely shut off to us, so basically you're screwed. And, no, I know you were already screwed, but now you're doubly, triply screwed."

The group seem to gawk at Robin.

"Woah.. You can say a lot." Vera spoke gently, blood pushing to her head. Steve groaned at her red faded face, leaning forward a hand slipped under her neck and lifted the muscles up. "Quit that. Your head will explode."

Vera scoffed, "I'm not a baby. Paws off."

Dustin stared at the two unamused. "You guys are disgusting."

Lucas sighed, "okay, wait." His words brought back to Robin's point. "Maybe we don't put it like that."

Nancy nodded. "We're one step closer to finding Vecna. That's what we say. That's what's important."
Steve hummed, tapping a chip on Vera's covered knee. The girl groaned, flicking away crumbs with muffled mutters. "See, Robin? Positive spin can make all the difference."

The short haired dirty blonde rolled her eyes at Steve's words. "Uh-huh."

"Oh shit," at Nancy's words all eyes seem to
flicker. The edge of town, by the lake houses, were swarmed with people and curious eyes. Vera's heart fell as Nancy parked her car. The teens piled out in a hurry. "Come on," Nancy hurried them all along.

Powell's thick voice came in heavy as they rounded the back of a News Van. "—many of you know, the Roane County line received a call a little after midnight.. reporting a homicide here on the lake. Officer Callahan here and myself arrived first on the scene. We made our way to the shore of Lover's Lake, about ten yards from that house you see behind me. It was there that we found the victim, an 18-year-old senior from Hawkins High, Patrick McKinney."

Patrick McKinney was dead.

Another tired teenage sung to sleep by the lullabies of an underworld creature.

Steve's hand found Vera's instantly. Her eyes fluttered shut in pain. She had Statistics with Patrick, a great basketball player. Lucas' friend.

"—His limbs... His body, it was disfigured. There was an eyewitness on the scene.. We have also identified a person of interest. Eddie Munson. We encourage anyone with information to please come forward."

Vera could've doubled over and rid herself of everything she'd ever known. "Oh man. This is not good. Really not good."

Powell continue: "You've got a lot of questions, and I'm going to answer as many as I can. Two o'clock at town hall, where anyone from the Hawkins community is welcome. But right now, I've got work to do, and I appreciate your understanding." The second the new sheriff took his walk the questions from reporters hurried in. The words made Vera's eyes water.

Is Eddie still in Hawkins?

Steve had drag the girl away as the group hurried back towards Nancy's car, but they paused as Dustin's radio went off. "Dustin, can you hear me? Wheeler?" The voice was Eddie's. Dustin scrambled for the machinery, "Eddie. Holy shit. Are you okay?"

"Nah, man. Pretty... Pretty goddamn far from okay."

Robin leaned over. "Where is he?"

"Where are you?" Dustin mumbled.

"Skull Rock. Do you know it?"

"Uh, yeah. That's near Cornwallis and.."

"Garrett, yeah." Steve cut in. "I know where that is."

"Hold tight. We're coming. We're coming."

    The ride was horribly talkative, but from Steve and Dustin. Now the walk in the woods was even worse, Steve and Dustin just arguing about the path. Steve by memory. Dustin by compass and map.

   Vera trailed behind the two, hopelessly and tired.

"Dude, I'm telling you, you're taking us the wrong way." Steve spit out.

  "It's north. I'm positive. I checked the map."

  "You do realize Skull Rock, it's a super popular make-out spot?"

  "Yeah. So?"

   Steve scoffed, checking behind him every so often to make sure Vera hadn't been snatched out of thin air. "Yeah, well, it wasn't popular until I made it popular. All right? I practically invented it. We're heading in the wrong direction."

   The brunette boy reached back, swiping up Vera's wrist. She gasped a little, hurrying up her steps. Dustin groaned, "Steve. Where are you going? Steve!"

  "Stop whining. Let's go. Trust me."

   Vera trailed after Steve, her eyes taking in the green around them. "All this crap looks the same! How do you remember this?" Steve hummed with a smile, "I made this place, baby. C'mon, you would know."

  Vera's lips parted, cheeks fading red. Dustin then gagged from behind the two, making Vera flinched. "Gross! Disgusting! Absolutely horrid!"

  Steve rolled his eyes, fondly. Though, he came to a stop. "Oh, boom! Bada bing, bada boom. There she is, Henderson. Skull Rock. In your face, man. In your stupid, cocky little face!"

   Vera turned, eyes taking in the huge rock. She definitely had been here before and so had a bunch of teenagers condoms. "Oh! Ew! Please watch where you step! This is how you kill the environment.." Steve stifled a laugh as Vera tumbled into his front, "adorable." Vera glared you at the boy, non maliciously. "Hey!"

  Dustin would've gagged at the two but he was confused, kind of. "Doesn't make sense."

  Steve scoffed ay his words, squeezing Vera's shoulders in a little victory. "Yeah, yeah. Even with it staring you in the face, you can't admit it. Can't admit you're wrong, you butthead."

  "I concur. You, Dustin Henderson, are a... Total butthead." The three teen's eyes flickered to a older boy jumping from a rock. Vera smiled gently at the sight of Dustin taking Eddie into a hug. Eddie hugged back softly, almost like he hadn't had one in ages. "Jesus, we thought you were a goner."

  "Yeah, me too, man. Me too."

   The rest of the group came along, Nancy passing the runaway boy his bag of goodies. He took them with a small grateful smile. "What happened? Patrick.. He's dead?" Dustin spoke softly as Eddie ate away.

  The twenty year old cleared his throat. "When I got to the shore, I tried calling you guys, but, uh... My walkie was busted, man. Drenched. So, uh, I did the thing that I do now, apparently. I ran." The boy laughed, humorlessly.

   "Do you know what time this was? The attack?" Nancy asked gently.

   "Yeah, no, I... I know exactly what time it was. My walkie wasn't the only thing that got soaked."

"9:27." Nancy whispered.

  Robin's eyes lit up. "Same time our flashlights went kablooey."

  "Which means what, exactly?"

   "That that surge of energy was Vecna attacking Patrick."

  Robin hummed. "Well, we're one step closer. We know how Vecna attacks."

   "And where he attacks from."

   "So now we just need to sneak into his lair in the Upside Down and drive a stake through his heart." Max spoke.

"If he has a heart."

   Steve's brows furrowed, standing behind Vera. "A stake? Is he like a vamp.. Is he a vampire?" Vera sighed, looking up at the boy. "It was a metaphor,
love.." The boy let out a puff of air, "right. I knew that."

  "A bullet should work on him, right?"

   "I say we chop his head off."

  "All of the above, but we can't do any of that 'til we find a way into the Upside Down."

   "We need El to get her powers back."

   Steve lolled his head in Eddie's direction. "Everything was way easier. We had this girl. She had superpowers—" Eddie hummed, a smug smile on his lips despite it all. "Superpowers. Yeah, you mentioned her.." Then all eyes switched to Dustin as Eddie was the first to gaze at him and his pacing.

   "Hey, uh, Henderson's not, uh, cursed, is he?"

   Steve huffed. "Cursed? No, no. He's fine. Mental? Absolutely."

   Then the freshman boy popped in excitement   "Boom! Bada... bada... boom. I was right. Skull Rock was north." Vera flinched at his volume, Steve softly apologizing for the teen boy. "Seriously? You're serious?"

   "Mm-hmm."

   "This is Skull Rock.