X. Childhood Death Haunts

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Ten. Childhood Death Haunts



              When Vera was little her head was always loud, and it wasn't her own doing. Too loud for someone who could barely raise a full glass of wine for her mother on Friday nights at the end of the couch. She wouldn't be on the couch, Diane Stonem would be. Vera would he on the carpet floor, knees turning red with the material as she leaned to pour glasses of red for her mother. If she spilled, her guts would be next at the taste of her mother's careless whip of a hand. She never spilled after the first time, and she was six.

   This was all before dad left. All before Blue went fully blue. When he made Vera go blue.

   When mother had it in her to fight, it would get loud. Ugly. Discourteous. Insolent. Blue would try to bring back the quiet, you're going to blow her ears! Hush down, Diane! She's a babe! That would bring more fire to aged woman, You shut up! This is my house, left for me! She'll be fine, she'll be grown! She'd slam her hands into the young man's chest, and he would fight back tears. Because Blue Stonem was softer than he should've been. He was still young.

   Vera would sit in front of the fridge when the yells woods bleed. On her knees, bruising red underneath frizzy little skirts and white socks with lace edges, as she would make words with the colorful letter magnets on the slick surface.

  I live my life how I want, Blue! Diane yells more.

   Vera cries silent.

   S - A - D

  Blue scoffs, you're going to kill yourself! You hear me! I won't watch it! Not anymore!

  D - A - D

   There wasn't enough letters to spell out daddy.

   M - A - D

  God, to think I use to love you! Diane spits out in her wine glory and Blue shrivels up like a broken boy. A lost puppy. He still is young. Too young to be married to such a woman. Too young to have a daughter.

  Blue watches Diane fall back into the couch, she's scoffing out a laugh like she had won. She talks to her husband how she talks to her child. You gonna cry now? Like a baby? A little boy? Grow up, Blue. He couldn't grow up, you had taken his childhood, Diane. Like you would take Vera's. You cost them everything, Diane.

    H - U - R - T

  Vera gasp as the letters fall apart from the fridge, they clatter to the floor. It echos. She is lifted, hands under her arms, Blue Stonem clings to his daughter like a safeguard as he grabs his keys. Diane just watches the two, she doesn't say a word. She doesn't want too.

  A good mother, despite the fights, would've asked—Where are you taking my girl!

   Diane never did. She never would.

   As Vera's chin hooked over her father's shoulder, her eyes bare at her mother. Blue shoved the door open, stepping out trying to hide his soft cries. Trying to hide the sniffles from his daughters young ears. Vera waves at her mother with a small chubby hand, she has an inkling in her bones: she's bad. Momma is bad. Diane sends her daughter a wine stained smile, teeth faded a light red-pink. Diane waves back, and she truly believes that's the last time she'll see her six year old daughter. She was okay with that.

  It wasn't the last time. There would never be a last time. Vera is everywhere.

   And now, looking back at it all. It all reminds Vera of death. The death of a childhood. A slow, cold dying death. The kind of death where you can't stop shaking and your skin is crying blue. Is that what her dad felt like? Is that why he finally left and gave up..? Had he died in that house and took his grave someplace else? It's all death at the end of the day it seems.

A cemetery.

They were going to the home of the dead. Steve, Vera, Max (who requested the dead home), Dustin, and Lucas.

Blue Stonem wasn't dead, but sometimes it felt like he was another soul resided in Hawkins cemetery. But then again, that was Vera Stonem's brutal thinking and blood seeping childhood peaking out from her buried crevices.

Max said it would take five minutes. Vera knew it would take longer, maybe.

Lucas and Dustin were leaned by a tree, talking quietly. The nerves were practically dripping past their own crevices and burning the grassy floors underneath them like hazardous waste. Steve's car was a little away, the couple leaning against the sleek surface.

   Steve's gaze was locked on the blur of ginger hair and blue jackets in the distance.

  Vera was staring at Steve.

  And he finally seem to feel her piercing blue eyes. His gaze switched, hard jaw loosened at her gaze. She looked small and confused. Like a child. "You doin' okay?" His voice was a whisper. Like he was talking to a crying child.

  Her lips parted and a cut in half breath slipped out. "Do you think it would be better if your parents just left all together? Like you'd wake up one morning and they were gone.. Across the world and left you alone?"

   Steve was shocked by the question, but Vera wouldn't know because he hadn't let it show.

  "I think.." His shoulders seem to cave in a little. If Vera hadn't know the boy the way she did, she would've said it's okay, you don't have to answer that. But she wanted to hear his words. "Yeah. I think it might be better if they had left. My mom would finally leave my dad, I think. He'd be alone, and that would kill him slowly.."

   Vera nodded, gaze falling away from the boy and landing on a random grave. It could've been her's. It would be her's one day. She would die eventually, because no one last forever.

  She flinched a little when his hand slipped into her's, fingers linking like melted stars. "Why'd you ask?"

  Vera shrugged. "Do you think my dad's dead? Wherever he is.."

   Steve couldn't fight back his frown. Vera continued, "do you think he like.. I don't know, ended up in Nevada or something and just drop dead at some point from too much hurt? Or drugs? Or something that could kill a person?"

   "I think he's okay. I think he's breathing."

  Vera nodded gently at the boys words, "I miss my dad, Steve."

  He would never hide another from from her. "I'm sorry, Vera."

  The girl shrugged gently, "we should probably get Max.." Steve nodded, hand slipping from her's slowly. "I'll be right back."

   He wouldn't be right back.

   He yelled and yelled. Lucas ran. Dustin ran. Vera froze. One step. Two step. Frozen. Favorite song. Dustin and cassettes. Walkman. She's no longer on the ground. Max they cry. Vera he cries. She can't move. Stuck. Still stuck. Watery blue eyes locked on the ginger in the air. Lucas cries. Dustin yells. Code Red. Panic. Fear. No Robin. No Nancy. Need help. Music. Kate Bush. Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God). Music. Music. It's all music.

   She drops.

   Max drops and they all crowd in like a new born has arrived from an all too gorgeous mother, who no longer holds their attention.

  Vera finally moves. And when she does, she throws up every organ that keeps her eyes alive.

  She will never step foot in a cemetery again. 




































    It's two thirty in the morning and sleep comes to a girl in bundles of fear. She wakes with every two hours that pass. Her dinner sits in her guts like clumps of cement still. She can't sleep and the banging is loud. It's across the hall. It sounds like a monster, but she knows those don't exist. She's fourteen not four. She needs to grow up.

   Her shaky hand reaches for the door. It cries with the opening.

  Her eyes land on her mother's door across the hall. There's a chair under the doorknob. She doesn't move. It's not a monster. It's her mother. The banging, the crying, the yelling, the curses. It's all her mother and her slurring throat.

  "Hey, baby."

  The girl flinches, she hadn't heard the feet up the stairs. Her gaze shifts, her father smiles gently. He looks tired at his young age. It makes her ache.

  "Can't sleep?"

  Blue Stonem is so incredibly nice compared to Diane Stonem, Vera Stonem wished her father could somehow fix her mother. But that was impossible. Diane was a destroyer.

"N-No. I'm sorry.." He smiles at her shaky voice, she's his head gently. "That's alright. You don't have to apologize, Era."

She finds it in her to smile at his voice. "Is she.. okay?" He wonders if his daughter remembers her younger years, he would never forget them. They haunt him. He wishes he took her and left. But his mother refused to talk to him, because he left college for an older woman who smelled like cigarettes and tasted like marmalade wine all those years ago. He moved towns for the older woman. He gave her a baby when she asked for it.

She didn't even love the child.

When mother's hold their kids for the first time their worlds change. Diane's did, but for the worst. Blue had watched her that day, she cried and he thought it was a good cry. But then Vera had started to cry and shrivel up in Diane's arms. The woman passed him the baby so quickly, and she whisper I don't want her.

That. That was the moment Blue stopped loving Diane. That's the moment he realized his mother was right. That's when he realized how stupid he was. That was the moment he realized he'd do anything for his daughter, Vera Elodie Stonem. His Era.

Blue's gaze switched to the door his daughter had hinted towards. "She will be. Hey, can I show you something that always makes me feel better?"

Vera had nodded. His gentle hand rested on her back as they climbed the stairs, he kissed her crown when they reached the bottom.

He moved towards the music player in the living room. He stood before the silver rectangular box, the girl hovered behind. She watched him place in a cassette. The room soared alive. The walls felt brighter and the air felt lighter.

Vera watched Blue hum, fingertips tapping at the silver. "It's Billie Holiday. Solitude. It's Jazz. My favorite song. My mother use to play it for me when I didn't feel good as a kid. Maybe it can make you feel better?"

Vera did like the music. It was nice and soft. Everything her home wasn't.

"Your mother?" It was the first time he had ever mentioned her. "Do you miss her? Wherever she is?"

Blue smiled, sullenly. "I do. All the time. She'd love you, Era. A child should always have a good mother, I believe."

He seem to take a breath.

"I do miss my mother, Era."

That was the day Vera knew Blue Stonem would leave her eventually. And he did, a year and a half later.






















  Never in Vera's life did she think she'd be at her best friends funeral. For one she knew Chrissy would be at her's, Vera had no plans making it past twenty eight.

  But she was at Chrissy's funeral. In a black dress and black flats, with her hair tucked behind her ears. Sunken in eyes and near chapped lips from all the stabbing her teeth had done to the flesh.

  She was alone in a row near the middle. She was sitting next to Chrissy's little brother, Chyler. He was messing with his fingers with dried tears, and Vera couldn't help her hand gently encase his. His light eyes shifted to her face, but she didn't look down at him. He squeezed her hand gently, she smiled faintly.

  She told Steve he didn't have to come. He wanted to be there, but she honestly wanted to be alone for this. She explained that, he didn't get it, but he said he'd pick her up when it was over.

  Vera could feel Jason, Ella, and Mia's eyes burning into her head from the other side of the packed room.

  And with every word Chrissy's mother spoke, Vera wished she was the one in the casket. "The devil is here. I can feel his presence.. growing stronger each day. But I know Chrissy's in heaven now, looking down at us, smiling. Happy to see all the lives she touched and brightened."

  The whole cheer team was here. Every single basketball player.

  Vera kind of wished Eddie could be here. And maybe if this hadn't been a Upside Down Attack and a normal death, like a heart attack or something so not like Chrissy—he would be here. He'd linger in the backs with a frown wishing he'd seen the cheerleader more.

  But Vera always had a habit of wishing for things that could never happen.

  Her blue eyes stared at the smiling photo of Chrissy, it was making her heart spin. Vera wished she could cup her best friends cheeks once more and poke her nose with her pinky while they giggled. Chrissy's father stood devastated in silence next to his wife who had more anger than sadness. She had more anger than sadness for her daughter's weight too, but no one would ever know that. And Chrissy bebe thad to spill her guts again to please her mother.

  "—But I also know she's frustrated." Vera's eyes flickered to the woman, and her skin started to itch. "Angry. That the monster that did this to her is still out there. Still."

  Vera nearly gagged, Eddie didn't do this. He couldn't have done this. Chyler to her side squeezed her hands tighter at her shift. She winced when her eyes bubbled and tears spilled, Eddie didn't kill anyone. But she couldn't say that, she'd be stuck to a stake and burned alive. "Hurting others. How can he live, while my angel is gone?"

  And while the talk of Eddie like a murder was bone chilling because she knew the truth, what happened was worse. Her skin went cold and her throat went dry at the faded ringing.

  Her breathing halted and Chrissy's mother's voice faded out. Vera's eyes swung around the room like a mad woman, but her head direction never moved. She paused as she caught sight of the clock in a storage room to the side of the casket. The girls lips parted, her breath came out in cuts.

  Steve, where are you? What do I do now?

   Vera's watery eyes finally moved from the clock, but she flinched as her gaze met Patrick McKinney's. He was already staring at her and his gaze was saying one thing, do you see and hear that too?




   The room had gone nearly silent, Chrissy's parents talking to the last of souls who linger at the back of the funeral home. Vera was staring down at the closed casket decked in flowers, they couldn't even have an open casket.

   Chyler stood next to Vera, a hand of his in her's. His other pawed at a flower gently. "Did that boy really kill Chris..?"

  His words frightened her.

  Vera took a quick swoop around before she looked at the boy, squeezing his hand gently. "No.. He didn't."

  Chyler smiled gently, with a shrug. "I know no other human could to that to another.. I don't know why everyone else can't see that." Vera bit her lip gently, he may have been eleven—but he knew more than most did.

  "I'm really sorry, Chy."

  The boy shrugged gently, "you're still going to come over right? You won't forget me and Willow?" That was Chrissy's dog. Vera sent the boy a teary smile, "you know I could never."

  She meant it.

  Vera had said her byes to the Cunningham's, a promise for dinner in a few days. She wasn't sure if it would happen, but she promised to be there anyway.

  Her shoes were unstable against the rocky grounds and the parking lot was nearly empty. There was two or three cars, and Vera noticed one of them to be Ella's. She kept her head down, arms locked around herself. She just need to make it down the street, she'd meet Steve there.

  What she hadn't expected was Ella's car to follow her out of the parking lot.

  The honk sent her into a panic and she nearly lost her footing. Her head whipped around and Ella's passenger door was whipping open. "You fucking bitch!" Vera gasped as Mia came at her, her hands heavier than she remembered as Mia shoved her. The girls skin breaking with the rocks and asphalt of the aged street.

  Ella hurried out of her running car. "Mia!"

   The cheerleader above Vera spat down at her. "How dare you fucking show up when you know where her killer is! When you've protected him! Chrissy would be so disappointed in you! Two face bitched! Go rot in hell, monster—"

   And like that, in the middle of the street. Mia Grant slammed silent as Vera bleed silently with shakes. No. Mia's eyes were blinking rapidly and Ella was quick to her side, hands on Mia's shoulders. She gasped at the girls rapid blinks. "Mia? What the hell!"

   Vera gasped out, "he has her too."

  Ella whipped around go look at the girl still on the ground with cut palms and knees. "What? What are you talking about!"

  Vera frowned, "it's what killed Chrissy."

   Ella's face seem to go cold, "Vera! Stop it! You sound crazy—" Ella gasped as she nearly tumbled back at Mia's body pushing into the humid air. Vera was going to throw up again.

  Ella screamed as the cracks began. Wrists. Elbows. Ankles. Arms. Legs. Jaw. Eyes. Heart. Ella was yelling, crying. It was so loud and Vera couldn't breathe.

  Ella nearly died herself when her friend came down and nearly landed on her.

  Ella fell to her knees next to Mia, who looked just like Chrissy. She'd seen the photos of Chrissy's corpse and Mia looked the same. Was Vera right? Eddie couldn't have done this? He wasn't even here.

  Ella went to turn her head towards Vera, but the bleeding brunette was already down the street. She had turned the corner in a full sprint and disappeared.

  "Vera!"

   Steve had nearly hit her with his car when she turned the corner. And just like the movies that both came to a skidding stop. Vera's hands out with tears down her face, gasping for air with a heaving chest. Steve was staring wide eyes, mouth agape.

  Vera took no time climbing into the boys car. "Vera, fuck! What are you doing! I almost hit you! Why the fuck are you bleeding? What the hell happened?"

   "Mia's gone. Like

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