John's POV

I groan and turn over facing my sleeping girlfriend. Although it's night time, there's a soft color changing lamp in the room that allows me to make out some of her features. I notice how peaceful she looks and become slightly jealous.

I couldn't sleep. No matter how hard I tried to, nothing was working. There was so many things running through my mind, from thoughts on my YouTube career to Y/n.

Suddenly I saw one of her eyes peek open and look right at me. We locked eyes for a moment before she closed it again and took a deep breath. She moved herself closer to me cuddling into me.

"I can't sleep" I said feeling like I owed her an explanation as to why I was basically watching her sleep.

She placed a kiss on the side of my mouth and dozed off back to her peaceful state. I start running my fingers across her back to try and calm my thoughts down and attempt to fall asleep.

After some time I give up again, sighing and laying on my back. This causes Y/n to wake up again, being that she is a light sleeper. She reached a hand up started stroking my hair softly. "I'm sorry" I apologized for waking her up again.

"What's wrong?" She asks quietly, her voice rough from still being half asleep. I just look at her guiltily. "What are you thinking about?" She asks me softly.

The fact that she knows me so well causes me to half laugh. "Everything" I reply.

"Like what?" She asks starting to sound more awake.

"I don't know. Me, you, us, YouTube, the past, the present, the future, it's all running through my brain at once" I tell her honestly.

"Explain each one," She tells me.

I sigh, "you could be sleeping."

"So could you" she retorts.

"I'm thinking of me because I could be sleeping but my brain doesn't want to shut off. And I'm planning my next workout."

"If your brain were to shut off then you'd probably be brain dead." She smart talks. I give her a playful glare causing her to smile.

"I'm thinking of you because you're so amazing. All the shit you've been through that you've bounced back from, I don't know how you did it."

"It's what makes me, me" she says.

"I'm thinking about us because I don't know why you've stayed with me for so long. Our dates together, our fun times, our not so fun times. How mean I am to you sometimes." I looked at her sadly.

"We're together because I love you. And with your amazing personality it's kinda hard to not be attracted to you. And you're never mean to me, it's just playful so I don't take it to heart." She explained. I leaned down and pecked her lips. "YouTube, go"

"The video I should've edited today, the demonetization, why people watch me." I sighed.

"Because you are a very funny and talented human being" she told me.

"I keep thinking about my family and what if I never did YouTube. Where I would be..."

"We would've never met if you didn't do YouTube."

I slipped a hand under her and pulled her closer to me, "I don't like that thought"

"Isn't it crazy how every decision you've made in your life has led you up to this moment?" She said, clearly had been doing some thinking of her own.

I thought about back to when I first asked her on a date, and what if I hadn't. "Stop" I shook my head, she giggled again.

"I didn't think you'd worry about the future" she told me.

"I don't. I like to go with the flow but tonight has just got me thinking... like where we'll end up." It felt weird to say that out loud. I'd never really thought about it that much in depth before but I've realized she's showed me a different kind of way to love and I don't want to lose that.

"I think about that too," She told me honestly, "but I think wherever that is, I'll still love you. You've made a huge impact on my life and I know no matter what, I will always love you."

I turned on my side wrapping my arms around her and gave her a passionate kiss on the lips. "I love you. Thank you." I said against her lips.

"I love you too. Now let's try to get some sleep." She cuddled into my chest and I placed a kiss on her forehead.

Her slow and steady breathing calmed me down and I finally managed to get some sleep.