A/N: if u can't tell this chapter is a joke but i still think it's funny so enjoy

aries: yeonjun from txt outdanced you in your own song in a tiktok and u were so embarrassed u fell down a flight of stairs and died

taurus: dahyun from twice assassinated you because you found out she was actually a robot created by the korean government to infiltrate the kpop industry

gemini: taehyung from bts hit you with his car because he was looking at videos of his dog on his phone. he fled the scene and was never caught

cancer: danielle from newjeans mixed cyanide into your drink with a smile because you made fun of her accent too much

leo: sunghoon from enhypen took you to the ice rink and in an attempt to teach you an ice skating routine he accidentally caused you to hit your head too hard on the ice

virgo: wonyoung from ive mistook you for a sasaeng in her dorm because you looked sketchy and hit you with a frying pan

libra: changbin from stray kids challenged you to an arm wrestling match and accidentally flung you into the wall at an alarmingly high speed

scorpio: kazuha from le sserafim accidentally killed u when she she lifted her leg up for her part in antifragile and hit you in the head too hard

sagittarius: mark from nct dared you to sneak into the lions den at the zoo for fifty dollars and you did, causing you to become simba's lunch

capricorn: jisoo from blackpink beat you to death with a blackpink light stick because you stole her limited edition hello kitty stuffed animal

aquarius: mingyu from seventeen and you were playing golf and when he was trying to show off his swing he hit you in the ass with the golf club and you flew into the lake and drowned

pisces: ningning from aespa had too much soju to drink and stumbled into you, causing you to fall into oncoming traffic and get hit by a truck