Three days later

After work, you came back home and you were greeted by Fluffy. You sighed and pet your dog closing the door behind you with your feet.

You went with Namjoon to Jordan’s house a day ago and took Fluffly, your clothes, and most of the money. Namjoon thought that the money should go to you anyway, so you agreed. Jordan wasn’t home then, but he called that night. You blocked him.

Namjoon doesn’t come home for another two hours, so you decided to browse on your phone for a while.

You stopped at a Facebook post from Namjoon. It was posted two days ago, the morning after you cried for his help, and he was with a girl, kissing her cheek.

You remembered how excited he was when you said that you’ll think about it, and that he will have to wait a week. And it was all gone in that moment. And it crashed down fast.

You were definitely going to say yes, but you didn’t want to rush into something new right after. Now your plans are ruined. Tears threatened to push out your eyes but you shook your head.

[I]I should be happy for him. Being his friend is amazing, too.

But you aren’t happy about this. And you knew it.

You liked the photo.

[BC]⍽⍽⍽⍽⍽⍽⍽⍽⍽⍽⍽⍽⍽⍽⍽⍽⍽

Namjoon stopped Jooseon. “I should go. Y/N is probably worried and hungry.”

She shook her head. “She’s an adult, Namjoon. Cmon, I’m really horny.” She leaned over to kiss him again but he moved away.

“No, I’m done,” he said. “I feel bad. I really like Y/N.”

“But she is a virgin and doesn’t know how to treat you right.”

“I don’t care about sex. I’m sorry, Jooseon, but I honesty just came to you because I can’t wait for love but I’m wrong—“

She interrupted him. “Then go!”

He sighed. “I-I’m sorry. I’ll stay for a little longer. I didn’t mean that.” He smiled as best as he could and kissed her. They had passionless sex.

[BC]⍽⍽⍽⍽⍽⍽⍽⍽⍽⍽⍽⍽⍽⍽⍽⍽⍽

You bobbed your leg violently and bit your middle finger’s nail. It was already about midnight and Namjoon wasn’t home. He should’ve been home at ten.

The dinner at the table was cold. You felt like a mistreated wife, even though you aren’t married to Namjoon. You feel like you are. You pretend you are even.

Jordan always got in the way. You loved Namjoon and he took you away from him. Saying no isn’t an option with men like him.

Tears finally fell for what seemed like days to break from its tensions. You still didn’t want to seem weak again. You still wanted to be strong, but how could you? These men, these people, are not treating you like you always wanted to be treated. At least Namjoon used to. Maybe you made it awkward. Maybe you scared him away.

You got up and threw away the cold dinner, even your serving. The door opened and you looked down. “Hey, Y/N I’m so sorry I’m late, they made me work longer— are you crying? I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not. I’m sorry.”

“I know you didn’t work late,” you mumbled.

“I’m sorry—“

“Stop saying that!” You snapped. “It’s not changing anything! I waited and waited and I’m sure you were too busy with whoever the hell is distracting you from me!”

His face stiffened. “You aren’t my girlfriend. You don’t have to wait.”

“I want to be, Namjoon. But you won’t let me heal. Because you’re treating me bad.”

“I’m not treating you bad!” He defended.  “I have my own time and I’m not your dog!”

“No. You’re not my friend. Because my friend would text me or call me or come home on time.”

His expression fell. “Don’t say that.”

“I’m going to bed.” You walked into your room and closed the door.

Crying yourself to sleep was your only available vice because Namjoon wasn’t there to comfort you. He is the cause of your pain today.

Namjoon looked at the sink. The dishes were dirty. He looked in the trash to see stiff and cold Korean knife noodles. His favorite.

He sat down at the table and looked at his hands.

[I]I am being a bad friend. She’s right. She even said she wanted to be with me. I’ve wanted to hear her say that for a long time. And I had to screw everything up.

He took out his phone and called Jooseon. “Hey baby,” she answered.

“Jooseon. I’m done. For real this time.”

“Namjoon stop with these episodes.”

“I’m being serious. I’m done with this... affair or whatever. I don’t love you and you don’t love me.”

“I do love you though.” She deadpanned.

“Just don’t call me.” He hung up. He cried into his hands.

[BC]⍽⍽⍽⍽⍽⍽⍽⍽⍽⍽⍽⍽⍽⍽⍽⍽⍽

The next morning was awkward to say the least. You bumped into Namjoon on your way to the bathroom. He fell asleep on the couch before work, so you woke him up so he could get ready. He mumbled “thanks” and that was that.

You called in sick. And it wasn’t exactly a lie. You were emotionally sick for sure. So you stayed in bed all day, crying at points and then laughing at yourself.

You didn’t like your emotions, the way they changed so quickly.

When Namjoon came back, he looked at you, leaning on the doorframe, the same way he did when you stayed the first night. You say up and sniffed, wiping away any remaining tears. “What?”

“I made you cry,” he simply said. “I’m so sorry.”

You didn’t respond.

“Her name is Jooseon. And I’ve been have sex with her for the past week, before you and Jordan got into that fight.” He looked down. “I love you. I really do.”

“Then why—“

“Don’t talk yet. I just did this because I don’t want to date you. And that’s because I don’t think I’m right for you. And you aren’t in the right place.”

“Namjoon, I don’t need a week. I need it now.”

“No you don’t. I treat you so badly.”

You didn’t know how to respond to that. You got up and hugged him, crying onto his shoulder. “I don’t want to screw up our bond. I want you Namjoon. I want someone who can treat me like a person and you do that. This was just a little mistake.”

He looked down at you and smiled. “You remember when we looked at the mirror together?”

You nodded.

“I see something else. I think that you are understanding. More than anyone I know.”

You shook your head. “I don’t think I understand this. Namjoon, I love you. Non-platonically.”

He smiled wider as a tear rolled down his cheek. “Let’s restart our week. Okay? You give ME one week this time. I know it’s frustrating but I think that you’ll wait if you love me. Right?”

You chuckled. “Yeah. I’m sorry for everything.”

“Don’t apologize. Because all you did was sit still and look pretty while I broke your heart. Jooseon is totally out of the picture now, okay?”

You nodded. “I want to look at the mirror again."