Chapter 23 - I Just Put Fresh Underwear On

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~ Daniela's POV ~

"Why do you want to talk so bad?"

"Because you need to." As I spoke, pulling out of his embrace, I went into the bathroom telling him to give me a minute. Taking those few minutes in the bathroom I brushed my teeth and did my business to get ready for bed. When I was done I came back into the bedroom noticing the frown he gave I went over to the bed, pulling back the covers.

"Come on." When I gestured for him to get in the bed next to me he let out a frustrated sigh, getting up from his place at the edge of the bed. Getting into the bed I watched him first close the door to the living room before he turned off the lights, leaving the lamps by the bed sides on.

Yes, the light switch was also connected to the lamps because he was that rich.

When he finally got into the bed next to me, he very rudely picked his phone up checking the notifications on his lock-screen. I chose to give him some time to realise how rude he was being but when he didn't, I cleared my throat, giving him a look when he turned his head to look at me.

"Put it down."

"I'm not a child Dani, don't give me orders and I don't need a freaking therapy session so why don't you just go to sleep."

This time when I just held his stare, refusing to back down he let out a frustrated sigh, tossing his phone onto the bed, leaning back into the pillows against the headboard.

"Hurry up then."

"Why do you get so angry? You weren't this bad when I used to want to talk when we were locked in that room."

Carson shook his head, keeping his eyes focused anywhere but me when he responded.

"It was easier then."

"Why?" When I questioned him almost instantly, he turned to look at me giving me a cold look. When I still refused to back down he finally responded.

"You said it once before, in New York I'm the boss of the mafia and when we were there and in the woods, I wasn't."

"So you think that just because you're the boss of the mafia that you don't have to talk to me?"

I knew I was frustrating him but honestly, that was the last thing on my mind.

We had our argument earlier, and we may have sort of talked about the whole thing with Chloe and his fight with Grey, but we hadn't talked about how easily he got angry and frustrated in that room downstairs.

I wasn't going to let him get used to treating me like that on a regular basis. This was the first time it ever got so bad and I was determined to get to the bottom of it to stop it from happening again.

"I never said that Daniela-"

"No but that's what you meant." When I cut him off his expression told me he was getting close to losing it all over again which scared me more than I liked to admit.

"Carson you need to talk to me. You told me you were sorry for treating me so bad at the start when we first met but you did it again today. You have no idea how much I want to hate you for what happened but I know it was only because of what's going on in your head. If you're not honest with me then I..."

"Then you what?"

"I can't be with you." Those words surprised me as much as they surprised him, but I guess I was just being honest. At least one of us was. He didn't say anything for a while, instead just staring at me with a guarded expression, even hiding his anger now.

"If you're going to leave me then just leave."

"Or, you could just talk to me. Tell me what got you so angry."

Carson instantly shook his head, picking up his phone which I remembered was the thing that seemed to have started this whole thing. He was calm when I came back from my walk with Aviana and she even helped me to forget for a while about all that had happened before. Then he called his mother and it all exploded again.

This time he didn't turn his phone on, instead just moving it between his hands like he was trying to use it to keep himself calm.

"Poppy...you said that's your sister, right?"

All he did was nod confirming I had it right. I remembered it from our conversation when he told me about his siblings and he said she was around my age and he thought I would like her.

Only a few weeks ago I thought I'd never ever get to meet her and now, the possibility was very likely which was still surreal to me.

"What did she say that got you so angry?"

After each question it still took him some time to respond to me, but he was starting to at least tell me something.

"She told me that my mother doesn't want to speak to me." He still refused to look at me, clenching his jaw as he spoke to me. "Why?"

"Because she's upset that I ignored her. Poppy wouldn't let me explain what happened and it just..."

"It made you angry." He nodded his head again to confirm what I said, turning his phone between his hands. "Some of the things she said...I wanted to tell her she didn't know what I went through so she had no right to speak to me like that."

When he frowned at the phone in his hands, I reached out taking it from him causing him to look up at me. Before he could say anything, I took his hand in mine instead putting the phone to the side. Holding my hand in his, he soon started fiddling with a ring on my finger, his eyes remaining focused on it which made me resist the urge to smile.

"So when are you going to speak to your mom?"

"Tomorrow. She's coming over at 3pm."

When he mumbled the words, I nodded my head already planning on going to that same coffee shop that I used to go to when Ayden wanted me out of the house.

"She doesn't hate you Carson. She's hurt and she's upset but it's not your fault and once you talk to her, she'll understand."

"I should have called her earlier, I should have spoken to her the first chance I got."

When he shook his head at his own behaviour I let out a scoff causing him to look at me.

"And said what? 'Oh hi mom, just to let you know that while you've been in Europe having fun I was being held hostage by a lunatic but it's okay because now I'm in the middle of nowhere. See you soon.'? Yeah, somehow I don't think she would have appreciated that."

Even though I was being deadly serious, my words somehow caused his lips to twitch up into a smile.

"I wouldn't have done it like that."

When his smile widened a little, I don't really know what happened inside me. Maybe I was just tired from driving since 6am when we left Chicago that morning, or maybe I was completely overwhelmed by everything that had happened in the last 16 hours.

"Why do you feel like you can't tell me things?" When he saw the tears fill my eyes and heard the way my voice cracked, he frowned at me shaking his head.

"Don't cry Dani."

"I love you Carson. I've given you everything, I agreed to come to New York with you even though your life scares the hell out of me. I put everything on the line for you and today you just made me feel like...like you don't care."

Once again he shook his head, shuffling closer to me in the bed to wrap an arm around me pulling me into his chest.

"I'm not used to this Dani. I've never had a girlfriend, I've never talked to anyone about my feelings like how you want me to." As he spoke, I rested my head against his chest, savouring the comfort I got from him.

"But we were fine before we came here. It was like the moment you saw Chloe, you've had this anger inside of you and I can't understand why. It's not just the situation with your mom because even you know she'll understand when you tell her what happened. You're still angry, but everything's been resolved. I forgave you for kissing her, you made up with Grey and you'll make up with your mom tomorrow but..."

"There's something I haven't told you Dani." When he said that, I lifted my head to look at him. "What?"

Lifting his hand, he cupped my cheek in his hand, wiping my cheeks with his thumbs as he looked into my eyes.

"Remember in Portland when I told you one of the biggest reasons I never had a girlfriend was because of my lifestyle and my job?"

When I nodded my head, he continued.

"I didn't tell you the other reason. I never got into a relationship because I didn't want to cheat and I never met a girl who made me want to stay loyal to her. I didn't see the point of having a girlfriend just for the sake of it and then cheating and screwing around because that's what I used to do. So I just never had a girlfriend."

I really didn't like listening to him talk about his past with women and I think he noticed that by the frown on my face.

"Then I met you and I knew you were the one." He gave me a small smile, tucking my hair behind my ear. "I had this idea in my head that if I ever met a girl who I loved enough to be in relationship with her, I wouldn't ever cheat. She'd be my one and only. But I cheated on you the moment she kissed me and I can't get the thought out of my head."

When I saw that familiar anger and frustration from earlier rise up in his eyes again, my tears only fell down my cheeks faster when it all became clear to me. He wasn't angry at me, or Chloe or Grey or his sister or his mother. He was angry at himself.

"Carson you didn't cheat on me, she kissed you. I saw what happened."

"A kiss is cheating Dani and you were right, I should have told her you were my girlfriend. I should have pushed her away but it all happened too fast and then I just kept thinking about how I'd already screwed up my first ever relationship in six freaking days."

When he ran a hand through his hair out of frustration, clearly feeling all the emotions from earlier return I did the only thing I could think of to calm him down. Moving from my position next to him, I threw my leg over him before I got on top of him, straddling his waist with my legs either side of him.

"I don't think it's ruined, I think every time you say these cute things to me you make me fall in love with you all over again."

Once again he shook his head and when he refused to look at me, I placed my hands on his cheeks to make him look at me properly.

"A kiss is cheating Dani and the guilt, it's killing me. I did everything - I channeled it into the anger in my fight with Grey, I tried drinking, I tried not to think about it, but I can't stop."

I thought seeing him kiss her was the thing that broke my heart - something I never wanted to see again, but I knew when I saw his eyes become glassy and red that it wasn't.

"I love you too much to cheat on you Dani. You don't deserve that, you didn't deserve to see it. You didn't deserve them saying all that crap about you." Since my hands were already cupping his cheeks, I leaned in closer to him, looking him in the eye as I brought our lips closer together.

"You didn't cheat on me Carson. It was a mistake and it shouldn't have happened but it wasn't your fault."

"I'm so sorry Dani, I promise I won't do it again." When one lone tear fell down his cheek, I brushed it away before resting my head against his shoulder.

I'm pretty sure after that we fell asleep in that position when Carson lay down flat on the bed with me lying on top of him. For the whole night I stayed in his arms and despite how crazy our day had been driving from Chicago through Ohio and then coming to New York, the night was definitely filled with the kind of peace we both needed.

<<<<<<< >>>>>>> <<<<<<<<

The next morning we left the house in Long Island pretty early in the morning. From what I knew Carson woke up before me and left me a note to tell me he was going to speak to some of his men about some business. But I ended up waking up after he got back anyway.

Carson had completely calmed down after last night once I finally got to the bottom of why he was in such a bad mood. We didn't once mention anything that happened the night before, something I think we were both happy with.

Thankfully I didn't see anyone that morning, after the way things went the night before I was glad to escape quietly in the morning.

"This is where you live?" When we finally pulled up to the back of a tall apartment building in Manhattan, I glanced over at Carson who nodded his head.

It was nothing compared to Ayden's building, this one looked like somewhere only royalty or celebrities would live.

As we drove into the secure underground parking, I noticed the familiar armed guards dressed in all black who were standing at the entrance.

"Are those yours?"

"Yeah, I have some all around the building on each floor and in the lobby."

"The owners let you do that? That's pretty nice of them, I would have assumed they'd be stuck up or something if they owned such a huge building."

Carson was too busy parking his car to reply to me and a few seconds later after he parked up in an empty space he turned to look at me with an amused smiled, gesturing with his head for me to look forward.

When I turned my head to look forward, I noticed the sign that said 'reserved for landlord'.

"Oh."

I heard him let out a low chuckle next to me as my cheeks burned, and for once I was thankful it was so dark in these underground parking lots so that he couldn't see.

"Am I stuck up baby girl?"

When I didn't say anything, instead just picking up my purse which was between my feet on the floor, he let out another laugh before he got out of the car, coming around to open my door for me.

"You don't have to do it every time." As I got out the car, I gave him a grateful smile which he returned with a smirk, closing the door before he pushed me up against the side of his car.

"But then I can't do this."

Within seconds he had his lips against mine, moving them perfectly in sync however before we could get into it properly, the sound of a throat clearing behind Carson caused him to pull away from me.

Once again in the space of a few minutes my cheeks were burning while Carson just glared at the man who interrupted us. He didn't even bother to let me go, instead keeping me pressed against his car with his hands firmly on my waist.

"Sir, I'm here to take your bags upstairs." Speaking in such a formal tone, the man who was dressed in a black suit stood there awkwardly.

"Couldn't you have come later? It was clear to tell I was busy."

"Then please do tell me how I'm supposed to get your bags upstairs before you get there first and give me hell for being too slow?" My eyes widened at the tone the older man used with Carson, but surprisingly in response Carson only cracked a smile before he threw him the keys to his car.

"It's good to see you Ezra." As he caught the keys, the man named Ezra nodded his head giving Carson a smile. "You too sir."

"Oh, this is my girlfriend Dani. She'll be living here with me so have someone add her to the security list and get her finger print added to database."

I could tell he was surprised when Carson introduced me as his girlfriend, but nonetheless he remained professional as he nodded. "Dani this is my butler Ezra."

"It's nice to meet you ma'am."

"You too." When I gave him a smile, Carson finally let me go taking my hand in his as we walked through the parking lot away from his car.

When I turned back to look at Ezra, my eyes widened in surprise when I saw four other men dressed in similar smart clothes unloading all of our bags into a luggage cart that you would see in a hotel.

"Where did they come from?"

"Magic." When I heard Carson's amused tone I turned to look at him narrowing my eyes causing him to chuckle. "He has them on standby."

"But I didn't see-" Before I could finish my sentence, Carson suddenly came to a stop just as we reached an elevator.

"How many people do you see in this parking lot right now?"

Was he really testing my math skills? I was the one with an accountancy degree, accountancy.

"I know how to count Carson." When he rolled his eyes, I let out a huff, looking around the huge parking lot. Among all the expensive cars, I could see the two guards we passed when we drove in, Ezra and the four men he had working with him.

"Seven, so including us nine." Carson nodded his head at this before he came and stood behind me, looking out at the parking lot before he whispered into my ear.

"Right now there are a total of 16 people in here. Just because you can't see them, that doesn't mean they're not there."

16?

Holy crap.

Once we finally left that stupid underground parking lot where I now knew I would never feel safe again, we got into an elevator and Carson used his thumb print to unlock the buttons. Once he pressed the 58th floor button, it of course took us a while to get that high to the top floor before the doors eventually opened.

"Oh my gosh."

Of course he laughed at my reaction, tugging on my hand to guide me out of the elevator and into his penthouse. From downstairs I could just about see some of the upstairs through the railing, but Carson didn't let me stop to stare.

As we walked through the hallway, Carson first showed me around the entire lower floor of the penthouse, starting first with open plan living and dining area.

After that he took me into the kitchen, showing me the beautiful granite counter tops and also the utility room.

Finally the last room downstairs that he showed me was a separate living room.

After that he took me upstairs to show me his bedroom which was

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