In the cafeteria, all of us are sitting behind our signature lunch table, laughing at some thing that happened long ago. There's Pat, small, cute Pat, rapping her favorite verse of some song she was listening to last night, and then there's Alyssa, singing right along with her.

I never knew Alyssa was close friends with Arden and Ella. I only ever saw her in the hallways when we passed by each other.

But it doesn't matter. She's a friend of mine now, waving her long black braids in the air while she sings a sped-up verse of the infamous Fergalicious.

"You guys are insane," I say, rolling my eyes and picking at my lunch. I am in no way hungry, I have too much on my mind to eat anyways.

"Oh, come on D. Have a little fun!" Arden says, batting her lashes my way.

I l have to look up and gawk at her. Ever since that one time with Jacob, her head has been wandering somewhere in the clouds.

"Easy for you to say," I tease, wiggling my eyebrows.

She widens her eyes at me in embarrassment, silently signaling for me to shut up. I presume she hasn't told anyone about that night, which earns her a mischievous giggle from me.

Alyssa and Pat are now waving their hands in the air, slowly dancing to the tune of Waterfalls. I begin to blank out, focusing my eyes on the surface of the lunch table and freezing in my place. I even stop picking at my food, which is soggy nonetheless.

How could I have done what I did last night, kissing Xavier? Actually being nice to him? It's totally against my Do-Not-Be-Friends-With-Fuckboys Religion. Friends don't even do what I had done to Xavier, which is crossing the line a bunch.

I guess I couldn't help it, the way he looked made me feel so heartbroken, yet the smile he gave me yesterday was still that same old, evil smile.

I decide I'm not going to let him take over my thoughts again. I'm thinking about him at the most random of times. He has that appearance.

"Hey, you okay Delta?" Megan asks me, and I can feel her warm hand grab hold of mine. "What're you thinking?"

Instantly snapping out of it, I try to erase the inappropriate fantasies that have somehow popped inside my head. "What? Nothing—no. I'm okay," I say, mentally cursing my stupid stutter.

"You sure?" she asks, eyeing me suspiciously. "I've wanted to make plans with you, but you're always busy with something. Is everything alright?"

I appreciate her concern, but I really don't know how to be honest with her without breaking down and hysterically crying. All because I'm confused.

"I'm good. Just stressed," I say, which isn't entirely false. I trust Megan with my life, but there are some things I prefer to keep out of our conversations.

"Hey Lyss," Ella says, shaking her arm. "What's going on with the Winter Ball?"

Alyssa is the head of Student Council, in which she basically helps the staff organize crazy events and fundraisers around the school. Halloween had passed about a week ago, and we're basically keeping our heads held high for this year's upcoming holiday events.

Which basically sums up the Winter Ball. A dance right before the start of Christmas break, something some kids look forward to more than actual Homecoming.

"Next meeting we're discussing party themes," she says, wiggling her shoulders. Despite having a conversation with Ella, she still manages to groove along with Pat.

Pat's mouth is filled with chunks of a granola bar, and crumbs accidentally fly out as she loudly yells some undecipherable lyrics to a new song she's singing.

"Hey, it's Delta, right?" Alyssa then asks me, pointing at me. "You're still coming to the next Student Council meeting, right?"

"Yeah."

She looks at me and beams. "Great! I'll see you there next week." She winks at me, and I give her a small smile, feeling my mind involuntarily drift back to Xavier yet again.

As if on cue, my eyes wander in sync with my thoughts, immediately landing on one of the open doors in the cafeteria.

There he is, leaning taut against the door frame with that stupid smirk on his hot fucking face.

Xavier-Lawrence Parker is casually leaning against the wall, creepily staring at me from across the wide-spread room. Okay, maybe not "creepily" but definitely weird.

There's a nasty black circle over one of his eyelids but he winks at me anyways, careful not to hurt that pretty face of his.

Even though he wasn't in the best condition this morning, I hadn't expected him to turn up to school today. Yet here he is, hurt but seemingly in mint condition. He's not wincing, he's not leaning a weird way, he's just there, standing still and imperfectly perfect.

He mouths something to me from afar, but I look away before he finishes his sentence. Luckily, Ella, Arden and Megan are all singing along with Pat and Alyssa, clapping their hands and making a huge scene on one end of the cafeteria.

My eyes dart back to Xavier. He raises his hand and signals for me to come over, bending his index finger my way.

I childishly stick out my tongue, intending a foolish insult. He just laughs at me, waving his hand once more.

I angrily jolt out of my chair, marching over to the doors where he's standing. "What do you want?"

"Hey there beautiful," he says, winking his eye at me one more time.

"I thought you weren't gonna come to school today."

"Change of plans," he says, painlessly shrugging his shoulders. "I'm as good as new, and Lewis told me I had to anyways."

Lewis? His father?

"Oh boohoo, you have to be a big boy sometimes," I mock.

"That, and I wanted to see your pretty face again."

I instantly redden, trying to hide my embarrassment with an eye roll. "You joke."

His eyebrows knit together.

"You are beautiful."

Wishing I had the power to shut him right up, I stay there frozen and unwillingly let him continue.

"You are absolutely mesmerizing."

I push him away, denying the obvious hunger that's prowling inside of me, drilling through every one of my veins. "Stop."

He does what I say, backing away from me. Goosebumps rise in all the places his hands had been, or where I imagine his hands to have been.

"You know I can't do that," he says. "I can't stop. I can't stay away from you."

God, I know that. "Yes. You can."

He growls in frustration. "I'll try, but it'll never work. You know that."

His words awake something deep inside of me, but I have no idea what it is. Instead, I force the feelings down my throat to keep them from jumping out of my mouth.

"Don't say things you don't mean, Xavier. Don't lie to me." Tears are like lemon juice, stinging the back of my eyes painfully and keeping me from seeing what's right in front of me.

His breathing is subtle and calm, something I don't expect coming from a boy like him. He runs his tongue over his bottom lip and nods once, the thought that he'd messed up running through his head. "You don't trust me."

He looks so terrible; the bruise on his eye has seemingly darkened, and the scab on his lip has dried and crusted his skin. He looks like a broken angel.

"But I'm a mess," he says. "I'm a mess, Flores. I sleep around, I fight and you hate it."

I lightly nudge the side of his face with it hand. "You're just... a work in progress."

He chuckles, but it's quickly masked by pain. "A fuck up in the making," he says. "I don't know how I feel about that."

I'm so bad at these kinds of things. I don't comfort people, especially those I dislike, but I am awful at giving words of wisdom and consoling others. So, so terrible.

"I'm sorry. I know I bother you a lot. I guess I'm just so good at it, that I do it without talking to you," he teases, and that makes me laugh. It's true, he always bothered me even though he was almost never there. Now? I think I'm warming up to him a little bit. A little! Just a little!

The two whirlpools making up his inky eyes light up with realization. His posture straightens as he says, "Go out with me."
He suddenly grabs hold of my cold hands and wraps them in his calloused fingers. "I really want to go out with you. Please go on a date with me?"

I don't know what to say. He has officially cornered me in the most vulnerable part of my mind.

Xavier-Lawrence Parker never dates anyone. Instead, he makes girls believe in "forever", but he never promises them that. He hits and he leaves, he flirts and he teases. He has so many problems that make me want to scream at the top of my lungs.

"I'll think about it," I answer truthfully.

"Are you making me chase after you?" he asks. " 'Cause I don't chase. Period."

"Well, I guess that'll have to change."

I stand up, tugging him along with me. He obliges, getting to his feet and instantly wrapping me into a hug; the warm embrace I didn't know I really needed until now.

Cautiously, I place my arms around his waist, trying not to bury my face into his neck and smell that wonderful sent of coffee and peppermint lingering dangerously close to my nose.