Weeks of sleepless nights took their toll. Dark, sunken eyes with no light flicked across the table. Lance didn't like the silent attention he was receiving.

He couldn't tell if it was the fact he had been on time to breakfast, already in his armor, or his cut lip, that had everyone at the table starring at him. Or maybe they could see the lack of sleep building in his face. Then it occurred to him, maybe it was a combination of them all.

So what if he'd gotten roughly an hour to three hours of sleep every night for the past week. And what's it to them if he spent his nights fighting and training until his legs could barely stand to take him to his room.

Lance wanted to get some rest. More than anything! But whenever he laid down, he couldn't fall asleep; he'd find himself drowning in countless thoughts that he didn't want to hear. Training helped distract him. The split decisions he has to make during battle leave no room for intrusive thoughts.

His thoughts were what ripped at him the most. No matter how beaten he is walking out of the training rooms at four in the morning every night, it isn't as bad as what he has to hear on a daily basis. Lance has always struggled with it. He'd found ways to relax them, mainly through his family, to which is no longer around.

At first, the thoughts, they were manageable. Telling himself that we wasn't good enough, that we was worth nothing. That no one actually likes him, that they all wish he'd just go away. It didn't take long before he finally exploded. His family had quickly aided him in getting better. Ridding the thoughts and becoming more positive about himself.

But they are gone now. Who knows if he'll ever get to see them again.

The thoughts slowly began to return. He was strong at first. Untouchable. He stood by his family's words and clung to them for dear life. But now, they were slipping from his mind. Each night, Lance became more and more convinced of everyone's hatred of him.

"Lance are you...?" Shiro began sounding serious.

"Hungry? Yes." Lance smiled helping himself to an omelet.

"What happened to your lip?" Hunk asked.

Lance reached up and his fingertips brushed the scabbed cut. "I'm a klutz, what can I say?"

"Lance you look... tired," Allura observed.

"Gee thanks," Lance spoke playfully sarcastic. "What is this? An interrogation?"

"Lance, we just want to know you're okay. Is there something you want to talk about?" Shiro's stare was jabbing holes in Lances soul.

Lance in response took a quick bite of the omelet as Shiro spoke. A way to buy him more time. "Yes actually," Lance murmured, "it's how amazing this omelet is. Nice work Hunk." He gave a smile to his friend.

The paladins gave up and continued on with their meal. Lance was a tough egg to crack, he wouldn't tell them if something was wrong outright. Not without their complete trust. It broke their hearts to think Lance didn't fully trust them.

They all finished up and headed their separate ways. After a few hours they met on the training deck. "Alright! Training bots today!" Shiro announced.

Lance immediately walked over to a panel ready to start. The others did the same with their own a little slower.

"We will all start at level one and we won't move on to the next until everyone finishes up. Alright, go!" Shiro announced.

The paladins all quickly activated level one bots.

They all quickly finished, the last to be done was Hunk.

Level two: The last was Hunk again.

Level three: Pidge was the last.

Level four: Both Hunk and Pidge didn't pass.

Level five: Between Lance and Keith, Lance finished last.

Level six: both of the boys struggled but managed with the cheers of the others.

Level seven: Keith didn't pass.

"Good work Lance-!" Shiro paused to see Lance moving on to level eight. "That's okay, we can call it quits on the bots now..."

"No!" Lance snapped fighting mercilessly.

Lance cleared level eight and began punching in level nine with sore fingers.

"Lance, that's too high." Shiro went to step in.

"I can handle it!" Lance snapped again.

He was getting beat up, but he continued to push himself. The others watched in worried anticipation.

He barely cleared it with a bruised cheek and a clearly in pain elbow. He started to punch in for level ten but Shiro grabbed his arm tightly.

"That's enough." Shiro said sternly, his jaw locked.

Lance looked up at him angry at first but his face softened at the realization of what he'd been doing. "Sorry." He muttered, pulling his hand back.

"This is enough training for the day. Everyone go wash up." He said not breaking eye contact with Lance who went to follow the others. "Not you." Shiro put a hand on his shoulder.

Lance watched the others leave. The moment the last of them was out of the room, he turned back to Shiro frustratedly. The others had stopped outside to listen in on the conversation. Even Keith.

"I was fine. Why did you stop me?" Lance asked with annoyance.

Shiro spoke calmly, "Lance, it's good to push yourself but-,"

"I. Was. Fine. I've cleared level eleven!" Lance huffed.

"You've cleared level eleven?" Shiro asked a little surprised. He himself had made it to thirteen.

"Yes," Lance grabbed his things ready to leave. He had cleared level eleven. The night he tried to pass twelve was painful. He had been beaten to a bloody pulp. He'd managed to cover and hide many of his injuries from the night.

"Wait." Shiro stopped him. "Lance, it's obvious that you are going through something right now. Please, talk to us. We're not just a team, we're family; you can trust us."

Tears were boiling over and now running down Lances face. He rubbed at them quickly wishing he wasn't so emotional. "Nothing is wrong. I'm. Fine." He left.

The paladins all quickly dispersed before Lance walked out. "Hey buddy." Hunk smiled.

Lance glanced at him and smiled. "Hey." If Lance was good at anything, it was pretending nothing happened.

Hunk was going to say something else but Lance was already walking away. "It's okay," Pidge assured him, "he's just going through something is all."

"I- I don't think so. I know Lance had some issues with self esteem. They got pretty bad. When his family found out, they helped. Maybe he's struggling again." Hunk looked to the others.

"Lance? Have self esteem problems?" Pidge asked like he was joking.

"I think he talks like he has a big ego to help." Hunk frowned. "It's something he was told to do to help cope."

"Have you noticed Lance hasn't been talking like that lately?" Keith asked.

"I think you're right." Shiro sighed. "I guess you never really know what's going on in someone's head."

They quietly dispersed and decided not to push him too hard.

Lance paced his room trying to drown his thoughts out. He played music on a record player he found at the space mall.

'You're weak.'

'You're what's holding the team back.'

'They wish you'd drop out of the team so they can find a better pilot to replace you.'

'Keith probably really does hate you.'

Lance rubbed at his face frustratedly. His thoughts about Keith made him the most upset. He really did like the boy. He knows Keith won't feel the same way.

'Keith thinks you're disgusting.'

'You're just the same dumb cargo pilot.'

Lance had enough. He opened his door quickly to go to the training deck. Standing there in front of him was Keith.

Keith wasn't actually going to knock on his door. He'd stopped in front of Lances door every day, sometimes multiple times a day, for the past week. Ever since Lance had been acting strange. This time he'd gotten as far as lifting his hand to knock.

"Oh, um, hi." Keith said a little thrown off.

"Hi." Lance was wide eyed and he quickly felt himself take a step back.

"I just wanted to check on you is a- What's that?" He pointed to Lances arm. There were many large black and blue bruises and cuts from the training. Lance hasn't expected to see anyone and he shrunk back into his room to grab his jacket pulling it on.

Keith had followed him inside, not caring and rather more worried about the marks.

"What happened?" Keith asked.

"Nothing." Lance chuckled brushing it off. "I'm a klutz, remember?"

"What. Happened." Keith repeated serious.

Lance felt anger slowly boil. "Nothing Okay? Stop asking."

"Lance, what happened?" He said again more pleading.

"I got my ass kicked by the bot. Happy?" Lance huffed. "Go ahead, make fun."

"Lance, I'm not gonna make fun of you." Keith's eyes narrowed, offended by the accusation.

Lance looked away and began gathering up his training gear.

"What are you doing? We just finished training an hour ago." Keith stepped forward.

"What? You gonna try and stop me? Tell Shiro on me?" Lance challenged.

"No." Keith said calmly, "I'm gonna go with you."

Lance looked up at him with lightning speed. "Really? Why?"

"How else am I supposed to beat level 12 before you?" Keith smiled jokingly.

Lance flashed one of his own and they left his room. "Okay, but don't expect me to go easy on you."

There it was. The egotistical remarks that made everyone roll their eyes. Except this time Keith gave a playful glare.

"Wanna start on level 10?" Keith asked.

"Yeah," Lance said sitting on the ground and stretching his legs.

"Okay, you ready?" Keith looked over his shoulder taking in the sight.

Lance jumped up and nodded.

Keith pressed start and the bot materialized.

With a fair amount of effort from both of the boys they managed to defeat it in a few minutes. Keith couldn't help but smile to himself when he caught sight of Lance blowing the smoke from the top of his gun cockily.

"Okay hotshot, lets see how level 11 treats you." Keith started the next level. They did better this round, understanding each others moves and how to work together. The combination of long range and short ranged specialties was especially helpful. While it took a little longer to clear the level, it was obvious they'd improved.

"Level twelve, bring it." Lance said, gasping for breath.

Keith was hunched over with his hands on his knees breathing heavy. "Can we catch our breath first?" Keith rolled his eyes. He pressed the button for the next level and the two boys stood close next to one another.

In silent agreement they both darted in opposite directions. Lance fired rapidly immediately grabbing the attention of the bot. It swung its large sword and lunging toward the lanky boy.

Keith gasped and leaped into action. If Lance wasn't so worried, he would've laughed when Keith, in the spur of the moment, jumped onto the bot's back. "Are you crazy?" Lance said now focusing on shooting at the bot's foot.

The bot was twisting and reaching to rip the short teen from its back, but it was to no avail. Finally, the bot tripped and Keith let go, rolling to the side and dropping his sword in the process. The bot however was up in a matter of seconds; it's own sword in hand.

It charged Lance and he held up his gun steadying the perfect shot. "Shoot it!" Keith yelled rushing to his feet.

It got closer and closer but Lance ceased to fire.

"Lance!" Keith yelled again. He was rushing after the bot, sword held high.

Just as the bot was a few feet away, Lance pulled the trigger. Keith let out a surprised gasp when the bot dematerialized and he was sent spiraling into Lance. They landed on the hard ground--Keith getting more cushioning thanks to Lance.

Keith lifted himself onto his hands and went red in the cheeks at the warm mass beneath him. Lance was laughing uncontrollably like a child and when he looked down, his gaze locked with Keith's. Lance's smile had Keith breathless. The way he was looking at him, the double chin he was sporting, the way he pulled his arms underneath him to prop himself up on his hands. Keith felt himself leaning in slowly.

Lances expression slowly softened and he looked worried, as if any movement could ruin the moment. The tips of his fingers brushed along Keith's smooth cheek until it filled his palm. His eyes stole a unsubtle glance to his lips.

Keith had a moment of sudden realization. He was about to kiss Lance. His lips were inches away from pushing against Lances. He wanted to keep going, to finally have the feeling of Lances warm lips press against his--something he'd been patient enough for. But he knew he couldn't do it. He jerked back suddenly.

Lance stared at him with widened eyes. His hand still hanging in the air in the shape to hold Keith's face assuringly, and oh how Keith wanted to shove his face back into his steady hold like two puzzle pieces.

Lance finally dropped his hand and Keith knew the opportunity to change his mind had passed. Lance cleared his throat and looked to the ground; sliding out from under Keith, he muttered an apology.

Keith quickly tried to stand up to stop Lance, but he'd never seen the boy leave a situation so fast in his life. "Wait!" He called.

Lance held his breath until his bedroom door was closed, then he was gasping. His heart was pounding so fast he couldn't see and his ears felt muffled. He couldn't feel his legs and he immediately sunk to the ground, the thump of his head falling against the door being the only sense he had.

Keith stood in uncomfortably loud silence that loomed in the training room. Guilt surged through him, even making his fingers feel dull. He ran a hand through this hair feeling as if every punching bag, dummy, weapon, and piece of gear in the room was ridiculing him. He quickly rushed out, frantic to find Lance.

Lance heard a few pounds on the door and chose to ignore them. He laid on his bed staring at the wall contemplatively. He nearly kissed Keith, nearly destroyed his already fragile relationship with Keith..., nearly made an ass of himself. No, he did make an ass of himself.

"Lance, open the door!" Keith said, his voice low.

"I'm tired Keith," I rubbed my eyes and sat up in my bed glaring at the door.

"Please, could you just listen for once and open the door?!" Keith kicked it angrily likely hurting his toes in the process which was confirmed when I heard him swear and mutter a few 'ow's'.

I stoop up quickly a slid open the door. Keith was gripping his foot but immediately forgot about his hurt foot when he saw me standing in the doorway. "Lance..." he began.

"Look, I'd like you to leave. I'm tired. What happen back there was an accident and I completely understand. But don't make me your charity case." I looked stern and Keith tried to cut in but I wouldn't allow it. "I'm fine and I'm sick of you all hounding me. Just leave me alone." The door slid shut on Keith.

I laid in bed most of the night, unable to sleep. Finally I stood up and walked to the training deck.

The alarms went off just a few hours later. I couldn't believe I'd been there as long as I have. I was the first in my lion and immediately saw the threat. A large Galran warship was growing near. I watched my teammates fly out of the castle. "Good work getting out here so quick." Shiro encouraged.

I didn't respond but already began picking off drones. After a while of fighting, it was evident we need Voltron.

"Alright paladins, you know what to do!" Shiro boomed.
3rd person switch
The lions all flew in sync but nothing happened. Lance knew immediately it was because of him. In return, thoughts began to flood his mind.

"Relax paladins, we need voltron!" Shiro instructed.

They tried again but still it did not work.

They were forced to finish the fight in their lions. They won, but not without struggle. They returned to the castle and exited their lions.

"Lance, what was that out there? You could've gotten us killed." Shiro approached him angrily.

Lance turned around mildly surprised.

"I know voltron couldn't form because of you. Whatever this is, whatever your problem is, you need to fix it. Now. What if one of us died out there?" Shiro lectured.

Lance grabbed his helmet angrily and stormed off. He couldn't brush this problem aside anymore. He didn't want to be the reason someone dies on the battlefield.

He knew what he had to do.

Later that evening, Lance approached Shiro. He handed him his bayard and paladin armor.

"Lance what is this-?" Shiro looked up confused.

"I need to leave voltron. I can't pilot the blue lion anymore." Lance had tears welling in his eyes and he looked away.

"L-Lance, this isn't what I meant." Shiro looked at the boy sadly.

Lance didn't respond and wouldn't look the leader in the eye.

"Okay, but I want you to think about this. Give it a few days. I can't force you to stay." Shiro handed the items back.

Later, Lance was practicing hand to hand combat against the simulator. Keith charged in, he looked enraged. "What are you thinking?! You just plan to bail!"

Lance turned to him and in the distraction, the bot swept his feet out from beneath him and he fell on his tailbone. "End simulation." He hissed. "I'm not bailing." He sat up sorely.

"Yes you are." Keith argued.

"Look, I'm here to train. If you're not here for that then leave." Lance was on his feet now.

"Fine." Keith pulled his hair back.

Lance felt a heat rise in his cheeks, "W-what are you doing?"

"I'm going to fight you, what does it look like I'm doing?" Keith clenched his fists and got into a fighting stance.

"Keith, I'm not going to..." Lance started.

Keith began to circle and fluidly moved in releasing a fist that didn't reach but nearly hit Lance in the gut.

"Fine," Lance lowered into a fighting stance.

"Why did you tell Shiro you're leaving voltron?" He asked striking at Lance. Lance moved in the nick of time and Keith's fist shot just past his head.

"I'm just holding the team back," Lance threw a roundhouse kick and Keith used both his leg and forearm to block.

"No you're not! You're just quitting." Keith huffed.

"I'm not quitting, I'm standing down." Lance threw his fist more out of anger, it was sloppy and he just wanted to land the hit.

Keith moves and let the blow fly past him. Just as swiftly, he turned his back to Lance and grabbed his arm. Lance's feet were in the air as he was flipped over Keith. His chest hit the ground with a thud knocking them wind out of him. Keith stood towering above him. "That's a lie and you know it."

Lance slid around and swiped Keith's feet with his leg. "I'm not lying!"

Keith groaned when his but hit the ground. Lance took the opportunity to advance. He moved to grab Keith but a kick landed on his stomach and he fell into his back with a grunt. Keith moved quickly sitting on top of him with his hands pinned above him. "Is it because of what I did?"

Lance stopped struggling and looked up at Keith. "What?"

"Are you leaving because of me?" Keith asked more stern now.

"No," Lance looked up at him shocked. "I'm leaving because I don't want to be the reason someone gets hurt."

Keith had a look of relief but also concern. "Why would you cause someone to get hurt?"

"I'm the reason we can't form voltron." Lance looked to the side. Keith looked at his exposed neck and felt