I suddenly felt sick to my stomach.

I watched as Keith caught Allura in his arms. He gently set her down and they spoke. Their proximity was too close for comfort.

I couldn't hear what was being said, which was probably for the best. Allura pulled Keith into a hug and while Keith was taken by surprise, he hugged back. This is probably the most affection I've ever seen Keith show anyone.

My skin suddenly felt hot and my vision seemed fuzzy and unfocused. I was angry, no- I was jealous.

I'd obviously shown an interest in Allura, I've flirted with her, complimented her, everyone knows I like her. Then Keith goes behind my back.

Something about that was off.

I felt my stomach turn like acid. I closed my eyes, my anger wasn't just at Keith, it was at Allura too.

I wanted to push her, pull her away from Keith. I wanted to wave my hand and make it so neither of them could talk, or touch, or see each other ever again. But I'm helpless, and I'm powerless, and I can't stop what's happening in front of me.

I wanted to be in Keith's shoes. No, that wasn't quite right either.

I wanted to be in Allura's shoes.

My eyes snapped open at the realization. All, this jealousy, it wasn't of Keith. It never was. All that flirting wasn't to get Allura's attention. It never was.

It was all for Keith. I've been after him for years, even when I didn't realize it.

I took a sharp breath backing away. That's when Keith looked up and caught sight of me. I watched his eyes dart from me, to his own actions, and back to me; they were blown wide.

I quickly turned my head and walked out silently. My eyes stung and I felt hot tears run down my cheeks. "You've got to be kidding me." I murmured to myself.

I heard footsteps not far behind me down the hall. I locked eyes with my bedroom door.

Whoever is running after me knows I'll be heading to my room. I passed it and instead turned left down another hall. I walked through the lounge and picked up a pillow and blanket. Then, from there I walked to the observation deck.

The observation deck was my favorite place to go. And at this time of night, it was empty. I set down the pillow and laid out the blanket.

The room was mostly windows and displayed the void of space. But that isn't my favorite part.

I walked to the computer and quickly typed away. Suddenly, a large scale hologram of Earth filled the room. I sat on the ground and got under the blanket. I laid my head back on the pillow and looked up and the planet above me. The planet I missed more than anything.

After a while, I felt myself drifting in and out of consciousness. But when footsteps entered the room, I was wide awake. I kept my eyes closed, silently hoping whoever it was would just leave.

"Lance?" I heard Keith's voice whisper. I didn't respond, but my heart was racing.

The footsteps grew closer but were soft. He was standing right next to me now.

He probably thinks I'm such a loser, I thought. I heard slight shuffling to the right of me and then it was quiet.

"I know you're awake." Keith broke the silence. His voice was low and it caused goosebumps em to rise on my skin.

I turned my head to the side opening my eyes. Keith was laying on his back with his hands folded over his stomach. He was looking up at the hologram above. Blue and green danced across his skin, the only source of light.

"I wanted to talk." Keith turned his head up face me now. Our shoulders were close to touching and our faces had barely any distance.

"About what?" It felt strange to talk. I only wanted to hear Keith's voice in this silence, it's what sounded right, and sure, and safe.

"You know." Keith sighed. "I wanted you to know it wasn't what it looked like. I promise."

"It's okay." I smiled faintly. "If you two are happy, then I am too."

"No, Lance," Keith lifted his hands, "I'm serious. We were just talking, and it was just a hug. There was nothing romantic at all."

"If you and Allura are together or not, it's fine. It's none of my business."

"Shit Lance. We're not! We never-I... I-I'm gay for heavens sake." Keith extended his arms in front of him and let them flop back on his stomach.

"You're gay?" I asked quietly. Unsure I even heard him right.

"Yes. So if... if you like Allura..., she's not..."

"I never said I liked Allura." I spoke quickly.

"Lance, you don't have to pretend. Everyone already knows you like her." Keith gave a weak half smile. "You jump at the chance to flirt with her."

"I wasn't..., I wanted..." I propped myself up on my elbows, "I don't like her. I mean, not like that."

"Then why do you flirt with her all the time?"

I squeezed my eyes shut and took a deep breath. I turned and leaned over Keith. I slowly leaned down letting our lips connect softly. Keith deepened the kiss and his hands moved up to cup my face. When we parted, I looked at him carefully. "I wanted to get your attention."

Keith pulled me into another kiss. "You got it."