1. Years Gone By

TWO YEARS LATER

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Contact: Kevin

Mon, Mar 24, 2014 (9:36p.m)

Me: Kevin?
Kevin, where are you?
Answer my phone calls.
Mom is worried.

(9:49p.m)

KEV!!!
You're gonna get in trouble bro.

(11:04p.m)

You've never done this before. Seriously, are you okay?

Tue, Mar 25, 2014 (12:21p.m)

Mom called the cops. Is your phone off?

(12:24p.m)

So your phone is off. I called it. I'm scared man. Just respond asap.

(8:52p.m)

Everyone is freaking out. Mom, dad, Jory, Sayora, Luke, Danielle... Please come home...

Wed, Mar 26, 2014 (10:14p.m)

I called again and it went straight to voicemail. pLease don't do this !.

(10:56p.m)

Kevin... pls.

Fri, Aug 8, 2014 (2:33p.m)

Me: It's been several months. Police have nothing. Mom's still paying your phone bill hoping you decide to respond one of these days. Hasn't been the same without you. I feel like this is the only way Ican communicate with you. But I know you'll probably never answer. No one's saying it but I think we all know you coming back isn't likely. We miss you.

Thur, Apr 9, 2015 (7:07p.m)

Me: I'm a wreck and my heart fucking hurts. They found your remains. Mom has no reason to keep paying this phone bill. We'll find who did this to you. Don't worry.  I just needed to say goodbye.
I love you big brother.
R.I.P

The knock on my bedroom door startled me out of the trance I had been in. I pushed the home button on my phone, exiting out of my thread to Kevin. I couldn't count how many times I went over that thread.

"Come in," I said, sitting up in my bed as my mom poked her head inside.

"Hey, Ricky," she said, "I just wanted to see if you were doing okay."

Of course she knew I would be in a terrible mood. Today was the day. Two years ago exactly, my brother went missing. My foster brother technically, but I didn't consider him as just a foster brother. He was my brother. Blood or not, and I loved him just as much as I would have had we been related by blood. He and the two people I considered my mother and father. They had adopted me when I was six. Took me in because my real parents apparently didn't want me. But the Vásquez's wanted another child, and unlike most people looking to adopt, they didn't care if I was a newborn so they could raise me from scratch. I was grateful for the family I had. I wouldn't have had it any other way.

"Are you reading the thread again?" She asked.

Words didn't come to me, so I just nodded. I did it more often then I cared to admit, reading over the thread. During holidays. When his birthday would come around. When my birthday would come around. Any event really. I just always remembered him being with me when we would celebrate things and how much of a good time he was. Now, two years after his death, I had no one that I was as close to as I was to him. The reality of the situation always ate at me. Life without Kevin was no life I enjoyed.

"You're not still thinking that there was possibly something you could've done, are you?" She asked me, calmly and deliberately.

I shook my head no, but only because I knew if I said yes, I'd get a lecture I'd gotten a million times before. Truth of the matter is, I had been with Kevin the night he disappeared. My friends and I. Kevin was two years older than us, so we always thought it was kind of cool to hang out with him and his older friends. That night we were all together, just a regular old night of hanging out. It was Kevin and the four of my best friends, Luke Pihlstrom, Jory Hemingway, Danielle Robins and Sayora Lee. When the night was coming to an end, Kevin had gone somewhere. Said there was 'business' he needed to handle, and my friends left not too soon after. Kevin was usually the life of the party, so without him it didn't take much time for everyone else to want to split. Only, my friends were able to all go back to their homes... Kevin never came back.

I always wondered if I had just prodded him a bit more... if I had at least followed him... something! Could I have prevented it? Could I have saved him?

"Try not to get too wrapped up in things," mom said. "You have to get to school."

I nodded again and she left, closing the door behind her. I sighed, getting out of bed. I shouldn't be late.

___

I pulled into the lot of Hillbury High and parked my car. Everything seemed normal. Students were hanging around, and teachers were making their way inside to prep for class. The jocks were throwing a football around in the courtyard while the brainiacs sat near trees reading books. Like I said; Everything seemed normal. But it wasn't. I knew it. And so did most people in the small town of Hillbury, Wisconsin.

As I walked down the halls I got eyes of sympathy from a few people. Even got a pat on the back from a guy I was cordial with, but not really friends with saying, "we all miss him." His name was Oliver Smith, and obviously he was talking about Kevin. I nodded and he went on his way.

My friends were gathered by Jory's locker. They snapped out of the conversation they were having when they saw me approaching. The sympathy was in their eyes as well.

"Hey," Danielle was the first to speak. "How are you holding up?"

I shrugged. "Could be better."

"Can't believe it's been two years already," said Jory.

"Sure as hell doesn't make it easier to deal with," I said. "Feels like I just lost him yesterday."

"Were you reading the thread again?" Sayora asked.

I looked her in her bright hazel eyes. I loved her eyes.

I loved her.

Sayora and I had tried dating back in sophomore year. It didn't work out obviously. We had started just about three weeks before Kevin went missing. After all of that happened, I couldn't even fathom the thought of dating. I was miserable, irritable and shutting people out. So I ended it. I didn't want her to be miserable just because I was. But I loved her then and I loved her now. Whether she still had feelings for me I wasn't sure, but I never bothered to ask.

My mom always said that if Sayora and I had ever gotten serious we would make the most beautiful and exotic babies, considering I came from a bloodline descending from El Salvador and Sayora's family came from Korea. She would also say that we didn't exactly have ugly features either, so that helped.

Mom also made it a point to state that because my biological family were Salvadorian, and she, dad and Kevin were Salvadorian, I would fit right in. It was part of the reason why she was drawn to me during the adoption process. We had similar heritage. It was perfect, really.

"Yes," I said to Sayora.

"You shouldn't do that. It'll make it worse," Sayora said.

"It's kinda hard not to, Say."

"You're going to the grave tonight, right?" Asked Danielle.

"Yeah," I said.

"We'll come with you this time."

"You guys don't have to."

"But we want to," Jory said. "You don't have to go through it alone."

Luke hadn't said anything since I showed up. He just quietly listened to our conversation. Luke had changed since Kevin disappeared, but it was understandable because he had a particular liking to Kevin. He looked up to him. Kevin had the popularity, the charisma, the athleticism... He was the school's star basketball player. Luke loved hanging with Kevin the most out of my friends, because after me and my family, Luke was probably the person Kevin cared about most. It was like having another little brother apart from myself. Luke and I had been friends practically since I first moved in with the Vásquez's after all, and Kevin would look after both of us on days where mom and dad were both out, even if Kevin wasn't much older than us himself.

"What's up, man?" My attention turned to Luke.

He snapped his eyes to mine and after a few moments shook his head. "Nothing... We'll come with you tonight."

The warning bell rang and Luke urged Danielle to come with him. He grabbed her hand and they left together, Danielle waving with her free hand.

"We should get to class," Jory said.

I agreed and we all went our separate ways.

___

School for the rest of the day was a drag. I had classes here and there with my friends as usual, but they all gave me space for the day. Several people tried consoling me throughout the day. I appreciated it, really, but I kinda just wanted to be left alone.

When school was over, I texted my friends, telling them what time I wanted to meet them and to bring anything they wanted. I'd planned to stay at the graveyard for a while. Mom and dad would have visited it by now, no doubt.

I hopped in my car and started to put on my seatbelt when my phone vibrated in my pocket. I looked at the phone and the number was unknown. However, I was much more concerned with the content of the message:

Unknown: Ricky. It's me, brother.

I narrowed my eyes at the phone screen and for a moment I thought I was seeing things. What in the hell was this?

Me: Who is this?

After waiting for what seemed like forever, a response came:

Unknown: It's me. Kevin.

I frowned. What a sick joke. Kevin was dead, buried six feet under and some jerk was playing games.

Me: Get a life.

No response came after that.

"Asshole," I mumbled as I started my car and drove off.

___

Six hours later of sulking at home and mentally preparing myself to visit Kevin's grave, I was just about ready. School ended at two and it was just after eight o'clock. I left my house with a wave goodbye to my parents. When I got to the cemetery, my friends were all there already. They had lit candles surrounding his tombstone, a bouquet of flowers placed right in front.

When I finally reached them, Sayora hugged me, followed by Danielle, Jory and Luke, though Luke's seemed to be the least sincere.

When I looked at Luke's hand, I saw that he was grasping a bottle of vodka.

"Really?" I asked.

"You said bring anything we wanted," he shrugged. "I shared my first taste of alcohol with Kevin."

I nodded and motioned for everyone to sit down around the tombstone.

"So, what now?" Jory asked.

"I've never done this with other people around," I said. "Usually, I just... talk to him."

"Talking's good," Danielle said leaning into Luke.
Luke placed a tiny kiss on her head.

"Well," Jory said. "I guess I could say something first."

___

"Then there was that time when I almost walked in on you naked," Danielle had said, giggling at the tombstone as if it were there having a conversation with her. Luke didn't seem too impressed with that revelation.

Three out of the five of us had already had the time to speak and Danielle was the fourth. Of course, I was saved for last, however I was feeling buzzed as the bottle of vodka had found its way around the group. It's alcoholic contents made it easier for us all to open up and say what we felt without inhibitions.

It had already been at least an hour. There were so many stories. Memories. Just so much that we all had to say about him. And in the midst of strolling down memory lane, there were moments that we recalled where the five of us couldn't help but to laugh. It felt good.

Finally when Danielle announced she was finished it was my turn. All eyes were on me now. The vodka bottle was in my hand and I took a swig. There wasn't much left.

"I'm not gonna keep us here much longer telling a bunch of stories," I said. "But to keep it short and sweet..." I looked at Kevin's carved name in the tombstone, "Kevin, you were one of the best things that had ever happened to me. I was in the foster system for so long and after being in home after home, I was so reluctant to trust you, mom and dad."

I didn't bother holding the tears back that threatened to slide down my face as they clouded my vision.

"But you took me under your wing," I continued, "and you were the best brother that I could've possibly asked for. And I know you loved me just as much as I loved you. So thank you for being there whenever I needed you." I sniffled in between sentences and the tears fell. My lips trembled as I was trying not to full out ugly cry. My friends sat patiently waiting for me to finish.

I took a deep breath, steadied my breathing and regained my composure.

"I love you, bro. This is for you," were my last words as I lifted the vodka bottle and tilted it so the remainder of the drink poured out onto the grass.

"Beautiful," Sayora said with a sad smile.

"I think we've all said enough, yeah?" Jory said. "We should get home."

"Definitely this one," Luke said irritably as his girlfriend struggled to stand up. Danielle had drank a little more than the rest of us.

Luke helped her balance herself and as she stumbled, Luke rolled his eyes.

"I've got a big headache," Luke said frustratedly,

Danielle chuckled and then slurred, "That's not the only thing on you that's big."

"Jory, help me get her to my car."

"Okay," Jory said. "Let's go Dani."

As Jory helped with Danielle I hung back in my spot on the ground. Sayora stayed with me.

"You don't have to stay with me," I said without looking at her.

"Stop saying we don't have to do things for you, Ricardo," she said. "It's not about having to do it. We're your friends and we're gonna be here for you 'cause that's how it should be."

"You good enough to drive?" I asked, changing the topic.

"I only had a little of the vodka. Barely feel anything. Jory came with me anyway, I'm dropping him off. I have to be responsible, you know."

"I'm gonna hang back," I said. "Spend a little more time with him."

Sayora nodded and kissed me on the cheek before getting up to leave. I turned and watched as she walked away. God, she was perfect.

___

I stayed maybe fifteen minutes more after my friends left before I decided to call it a night. It was a starry night, the moon was shining bright and the night animals made a din of night animal noises as I navigated my way through the cemetery. I was just about to reach the gate when I heard a noise.

I paused, turning behind me and focusing my hearing.

For a few moments, there was nothing, but then I heard what definitely was the sound of something or someone stepping on a twig.

"Yo, who's there?" I called as if someone who was really stalking me would hop out and shout 'Here I am!'

When I didn't get a response, I sped walked back to my car, because there was no way in hell I was gonna be trapped in some horror movie scene in the middle of a damn cemetery.

I started my car and drove off.

___

I crashed in my bed upon entering my room. It was getting late and I was super tired. I had to focus harder than usual on my way home because I'd been drinking and was still buzzed. Careless I know, especially considering my brother had been killed. Not by drunk driving, but it was very possible I could have killed someone myself, even if I wasn't shit-faced. I'd beat myself up about it in the morning.

I had almost faded into sleep, fully clothed and all when my phone vibrated. I groaned and ignored it. When it vibrated again I cursed and sat up in bed to look at it. It was the unknown number again:

Unknown: Ricky!
Sorry I didn't reply sooner, but I spent all day contemplating how I was gonna make you believe me. Please hear me out.

I did not have the energy for this. What sick fucker pretends to be a dead guy and mess with the person he was closest to?! It was disgusting, and I was heated. The buzz was only fueling my fire too.

Me: Listen, you son of a bitch! My brother is dead! DEAD! This isn't fucking funny. Stop before I report you for harassment or find you myself and beat the shit out of you!

Unknown: Ricardo... It's me.... I can prove it!

If I was being completely honest, I was actually intrigued by how this imposter intended to prove anything. I had literally just got back from Kevin's burial site, this person was obviously full of shit. But nonetheless, I bit.

Me: LOL and how in the hell are you supposed to prove you're Kevin?

Unknown: How would you like me to?

I thought this over for a moment.

Me: Send a picture of your face. Better yet, send a video of you placing your pointer finger on your nose and then say "I am alive, Ricky."

I had to make it good. I had to make his way of 'proof' weird and something the real Kevin would have no reason to do otherwise.

I waited for about four minutes and chuckled to myself when I realized the poser probably was never gonna reply again. Which was fine by me. Just as I was about to send a final text telling the guy off, a new message was sent to me... and it was a video file.

"No way," I mumbled to myself.

I clicked on the file and my heart nearly flew out of my chest when I saw him. My face scrunched into a contortion of confusion and shock and my mouth dropped open. There he was, on screen. Granted, because it was dark I couldn't see as well, but there was no mistaking it.

That was Kevin.

And as he slowly raised his pointer finger to his nose, and as stared intently at me through the screen, and as he slowly and deliberately uttered the words 'I... am... alive... Ricky," my mind, from the shock, the disorientation and the alcohol, turned to slush.

I blacked out.

_______________