--- Sans ---

I walk into the bar and I see the two sitting at the front. I walk over there, greeting the guys as I go and sit on the stool beside her.

"So, you enjoy the stay at my little 'hideout'?" I grin. "It was an experience." She mutters. I chuckle, knowing what she meant, with the tornado and all the dirty socks.

"Here are your orde—Oh, hello Sans! Here for your performance?" Grillb's sets down the trays of steaming fries. "Yup. Got a good story this time. And can I get a bottle of ketchup for after?" "Sure, Sans." I get up from my stool and up to the stage. I pop the mic from out of it's stand and tap the mic to get everyone's attention. Sure enough, the bar quiets down.

"Heya everyone, for this morning's performance I'm gonna tell a story. And this was my best meal yet. And if you're an old customer, you'll know this one. So, you know how that jukebox is 'out of order'?" I grin wider. "Well, I'm just on my way to get breakfast with my brother Papyrus. Grillby's is a family friendly diner, home to teenagers and homeless schizophrenics. A day just like this one. I walk into Grillby's with him and notice a new jukebox sitting in the corner and I'm thinking 'I should play a prank on these guys..' and Of course, Pap is in on it." I search the 'audience' for any smiling faces, and I find a few in a small booth. They're giggling, talking about what actually happened. "So, We walk over to the jukebox and there's a note on it. Says we can do 3 plays for 1G. And, being the genius I was at 11 years old and Papyrus being the even BIGGER genius at 8—you'll see why in a few.. put in 7G and selected 21 plays of Tom Jones's 'What's new Pussy Cat?'" The bar starts chuckling, including the girl and the kid.

"Then we ordered and we waited. See, here's the thing about when What's New Pussy Cat plays over and over and over and over and over again. The second time it plays, Your immediate thought is not 'Hey, someone's playing the song again..' It's 'Hey... What's New Pussy Cat is a lot LONGER than I first thought..'." The audience starts laughing.

"And it has like a dip in the middle.. you know how some songs have a dip like.. like Guns & Roses and November rain. You're all 'Oh! The song's over.' No its not. There's more." The whole bar is just cracking up. "The third time it plays you're thinking 'Maybe someone just played the song again..' but the Fourth time it plays, you're thinking 'Woah. Someone just played What's New Pussy Cat Four times in a row or atleast they played it Twice and it's just a REALLY LONG SONG.'" They can't stop laughing. Monsters are pounding their fists on the table by now.

"So, the Fifth time is the kicker!" "Now we're watching the entire diner at this point. Most people have gotten wind as to what's going on and we're staring at this one guy and he's sitting in his booth, his hand is shaking while his stupid kids jump around and it's like he's been onto us since the beginning." They look like they're just trying to contain the laughter.

"And he's staring at his coffee cup like this and he has this look on his face like 'Aww' like he just got his 30-day chip from Anger Management'" They can't.

"And he's sitting like this and the fourth play fades out.." "It's Dead quiet." "And then.." "I don't know if you know this.." ".. but the song begins very subtley.. BWAAA BWA BWAMP WHAT'S NEW PUSSY CAT!" People from the outside are coming in to watch the show.

"And the guy goes 'GOD DAMNIT!!' and pounds on the table, and silverware flies everywhere and it was FAAANTASTIC." People are recording this.

"Now remember when I said Pap was an even bigger genius? When we were first up at the jukebox, and we were punching in the 'What's New Pussy Cat's', alright? I'd punched in about 7. And then Pap says to me, 'Hey hey hey,  wait. Before we drop in another 'what's new pussy cat', let's put in One 'It's not Unusual'." They burst out in laughter.

"And that is when my morning went from good to great. After SEVEN 'What's New Pussy Cat's',  In a row!.. suddenly.. Dum ts da dum ts da dum ts da nananananadum It's Not Unusual! And the sigh of relief has SWEPT through the bar! People were ecstatic! It was like the liberation of France." 

"You know for years, scientists have wondered, 'can you make grown men and women weep tears of joy by playing Tom Jones' It's Not Unusual?' and the answer is Yes. You can, as long as it is proceeded by seven 'What's new pussy cat's'."

"And on the other hand, when we went back." "Holy Shit." "It's not Unusual fades out." "It's dead quiet.." "BWAAA BWAMP WHAT'S NEW PUSSY CAT? People went fucking insane. No one could handle it." "No one could handle it! And they were surrounded by this like seemingly indifferent staff, you know that was just like 'Yup. Same shit as always.' And my only wish was if one of the schizophrenics had stood up and had been like 'Now You know. Now you know what's it like to live inside my brain.'" "They unplugged the jukebox after 11 plays and posted an 'Out of Order' sign on it to keep it from happening again. And that, my friends is the best meal I have ever had. Thank you and good day." I put the mic back on the stand and I swear atleast the WHOLE Underground was there clapping and cheering and whistling. I walked back to my rightful place beside the girl and she's just staring at me like 'Did you seriously just do that?' And like I'm reading her mind, I nod.

She just bursts out in laughter, Frisk is just smiling at me like 'She's totally diggin ya' and I start blushing.

---

Did I seriously just spend an hour of making a description of John Mulaney's Salt and Pepper diner act and turn it into a chapter? Maybe. Maybe not.