Breanna Michelle Santana

There was definitely some tension as Grayson and I sat in his truck. Unlike he was supposed to, he hadn't yet pulled off to drive me home. I understood he was probably taken aback by my goodbye but I needed to get back to my hotel and process some things, too.

I started to grow impatient and asked what he was waiting for. Grayson was just sitting in the driver's seat, staring blankly at the house as the high beams shone brightly on it.

His lips parted. "When this house was built, we were supposed to be in love. I was going to ask you to move in with me," he told me.

Words couldn't come out, my jaw just dropped. I put my hand to my mouth and felt kind of bad for ruining his plans. I wished that could've been our reality but sadly that's not how things worked out for us.

All I could think to say in the moment was "I'm sorry" but those words held no weight in both of our books so I just stayed silent and sat back, slowly fastening my seatbelt.

As expected, the car ride was dangerously quiet and long. It was so quiet you could hear me gulp and I even started wondering if he could hear my thoughts.

From his house to my hotel was less than thirty minutes but with the suspense, it seemed to last forever.

Of course I wanted to talk to him; I wanted to say that I love him and apologize for everything that's happened between us but if I knew Grayson, I knew it'd end in a screaming match that I had no time for.

Once the car pulled up the inn, it hit me that this was goodbye.

My mouth twisted as he came to a sudden stop.

Right as I went to speak, Grayson hit the 'unlock' button and I watched his jaw clench.

I suppose I couldn't blame him for his negative reaction to the news I sprung on him so abruptly.

Not wanting things to escalate, I just unfastened my seatbelt and lowered myself out of the passenger seat.

The mood was solemn and I moved rather slowly as I turned to close the white door.

Eventually, though, Grayson veered off, leaving me to wonder what was next for us, if anything.

Would I be fine with us just being friends? No. I don't think I could ever be "just friends" with him. Seeing him with another girl would never sit right with me, maybe in the far far future.

Trying to be optimistic, I figured if we were meant to be then things would end up working out for the better. On the other hand, shit already hit the fan so it was like beating a dead horse at that point, I thought.

======

"Hey! How'd it go?" Kaign couldn't wait until I was fully inside the room to start the interrogation.

"Hey," I spoke back dryly and shrugged my shoulders,"does this tell you anything?"

Kaign looked at the bottle of wine I held up in one hand that I grabbed from the bar downstairs.

Dylan and his boyfriend both pouted and came over to get me hugs which I quickly made my way out. I didn't want their sympathy.

"It's okay," I said,"it's not the end of the world."

Even though I forced my best smile, they weren't buying it. 

"Cheer up, you guys. Hey, the offers still on the table to come to Greece."

Okay, in all honesty, I didn't want them to go, I just asked to be nice. I knew Kaign would say no anyway, he already missed so much work on account of me. It was nothing personal either, just something I felt like I had to do alone.

"Bottom's up," I faked enthusiasm as I dragged myself to the back room.

...

You ever been so sad you sit in the shower? And a public one, at that. Yeah, that's how I was. A whole new level of pressed - rock bottom. Population: me... and a half-full bottle of red wine.

I let myself get all wrinkly before deciding to get out and prepare for bed.

With nothing better to do, I gave myself a blow out and then ordered Postmates.

Imagine me sitting in the middle of the bed with fast food and a large soda, slurping until there wasn't even one drop left.

I let out a burp and continued flipping through the few channels as I shoveled french fries in my mouth.

Nothing was making me feel better, I decided to resort to some midnight fatherly advice.

"Please pick up," I talked to myself as I listened to the rings. They didn't go on a honeymoon yet since Dad was so hung up at work. Angie didn't mind either, she claimed to have everything she wanted.

On the third one, my dad answered the call. "Hey, baby, what's up?"

"Dad. Can we talk?"

======

The Uber let me out and I said a thanks and good night before slamming the door shut and ascending the driveway.

Well on a side note, I was definitely missing having my own car, that's for sure.

At the front door now, I gave it a knock and impatiently waited for my dad to let me inside of his house.

We just hugged before he led me to the family room to chat.

Mid-conversation, Angie came downstairs.

"Hey, bebe," she hugged me as I stayed seated.

Angie then sat on my father's lap and I tried to not think about how it made me slightly uncomfortable. Like, just pull up a chair. Whatever, not the point.

"You feel like you made a mistake?" My dad, Chandler, asked me.

It wasn't right away but I answered fast enough to convince him that I did.

I wasn't talking much, he was pretty much asking me questions and I'd nod or shake my head.

"Do you love him?" My father questioned me and when I told him that I did, he squared my shoulders and looked at me dead on.

"Are you sure-"

"She loves him," Angie spoke up on my behalf.

Dad and I shared the same baffled look.

"How can you tell?" He took the words right out of my mouth.

"Because," she smiled warmly,"when she talks about him, her eyes light up the same way mine do about you."

Okay, that was smooth, I allowed the PDA that followed.

"Well, bud, you already booked your non-refundable ticket to Greece. What're you going to do, just not go?"

I stopped biting down on my middle fingernail and got up, pacing over to the computer where I pulled up my account and purchased another one.

"Must be nice. We were supposed to go to Europe for our honeymoon but someone's busy and is being cheap," Angie scowled at my father.

"Hey," he defended himself,"I'm paying for our wedding out of pocket since your parents refuse to. Talk about cheap."

"Well, here," I offered my printed receipt.

"No, Brea, we can't-"

"I insist. It's the least I could do. Besides, I never got you a wedding gift."

Angie squealed and pulled my body in for a real hug.

"I don't know what to say. How can I repay you?"

I'm sure he was expecting me to say something materialistic or along the lines of him owing me one later on but I only had one thing in mind.

"Where are your car keys?"

======

1:08 AM. I arrived at Grayson's.

Quickly, I killed the lights to my dad's second car - the black Range Rover. However, I did sit back and admire that house a little more before walking up.

Carrying my body through the freshly cut grass, I psyched myself up.

Just go in there and tell him you love him, I repeated in my head. As if it was that easy.

Right as I was about to knock, I got cold feet.

What if he's in there with a girl, I thought irrationally as there were no other cars in the driveway.

All of a sudden, I heard the door lock on the other side so I cursed aloud -- like a dummy -- and panicked. The first thing I thought to do was hide so I jumped off the porch, over the rail, and landed in the bushes.

Ouch.

Having heard the commotion, Grayson opened the door in a hurry and walked to the first step, looking around but he saw nothing.

Ruff! Ruff! I heard Alfie run out and start to bark.

"Go get 'em, boy," Grayson talked to the puppy like he was a guard dog. I rolled my eyes because he used to do that and I told him to give it up. Alfie was a good boy, though. In fact, he was so good, when Grayson went back inside, Alfie found me and wouldn't shut up.

"Shh, Alfie! It's me, mommy!" I whisper-yelled.

Alfie went to lick me but I was so scared Gray would come back out and find me that I swooped him into my arms and covered his mouth. After a few seconds, Alfie bit me!

I cried out and jumped to my feet, accidentally stepping on his little paw.

He wept and it broke my heart. Feeling bad, I picked him up and caressed his aching paw.

"Looks like daddy forgot you, let's get you inside," I said, going to discretely open the door but it was locked.

Way to be responsible, Gray, I thought in my head.

Then, it hit me! By that, I mean I looked down and saw the dog door.

Oh, right. Pfft, duh.

I squatted down and pushed Alfie inside but he kept creeping back out to attack me with kisses it.

Honestly it warmed my heart that he missed me because I wasn't entirely a good mother to him.

I can't just leave him like this, I thought with guilt.

That's when I got the bright idea to lay on the porch and push him inside myself but I couldn't back out so I had no choose but to wiggle inside.

Inside the dark house, I stood and panted out of breath.

Seeing as though I was successful in getting Alfie safely inside, I knew I had to make my exit.

BUT ALFIE JUST HAD TO START BARKING!

"What are you, a fucking cop," I scolded him, teeth gritted.

I saw the hallway light turn on so I hurried to unlock the door but it was complicated.

Damn it, he never got that fixed, did he, I wondered, remembering how he put it on wrong when it was first being built.

"Breanna?" Grayson caught me. He said my full first name too so I knew I was in trouble.

Shit. Dad, if I go to jail for breaking and entering, just know I did it for love. Oh, and for Alfie.

"Oh, now you stop barking?" I stared down at Alfie who was busy playing with some chew toy.

"How'd you get in here?"

"Dog door," I hunched my shoulders, smiling awkwardly.

"What do you want?" He blinked slowly, probably fed up with me already.

"To talk," I cooed.

"I'm all talked out," he responded with this short, sarcastic airy laugh. I watched as he stood on the opposite side of the living room and slid his veined hand down his tired face.

"Well you don't have to talk, just listen-"

"Brea-"

"HEAR ME OUT! Sheesh." That was bold but I felt empowered and didn't want to stop.

I stopped for a second and looked around, in awe of the layout and furniture.

"Nice place," I said off topic.

"Can you get on with it?" He rushed, not amused.

"Oh, right," I giggled. Finding the nerve, I swallowed and went on.

I dug in my pocket and revealed a piece of paper, uncrumbling, I started to give my piece.

"I have to apologize. Don't cut me off either, I thought this whole thing out..."

"I wasn't going to," he folds his arm and says,"I've been waiting for this."

"Okay," I admitted, slouching,"I don't have anything written down this is a copy of a receipt."

I threw the paper over my shoulder and blew a strand of fluffy hair out of my flustered face.

Grayson's head tilted. He asked with furrowed brows,"Is that my sweatshirt?"

"Yes, and this is your bracelet... and this is me saying I'm sorry for everything and I love you - I've always loved you. If I hadn't been so scared and stuck on the past, we could've been together and none of this would've happened. I put you through Hell and never took responsibility, I blamed you for everything because you're better at this than me and I wanted an easy way out. And... wow, you're really gonna make me work for this, aren't you?"

He stopped sitting on the arm of one sofa and walked closer.

"No," he said,"I don't even feel right hearing you say all this. You don't have to beg, Brea. You could've came in here and told me we're getting married and I wouldn't have argued with you."

"Oh, God, you like me that much?"

He laughed,"I know right, I don't know why."

"Me either," I said walking into the hug. Ah, I missed that feeling - safe and warm. The butterflies were back. He was home.

Consumed in his arms, I squeezed and sniffled as a single tear fell from one of my puffy eyes.

Grayson inched away. "Are you crying," he asked me.

I pulled back some and wiped my arm across my nose. "No," I lied,"it's the onions."

Grayson dryly played along. "Oh right, yeah, the onions."

"Let's not ever fight again, k?"

"No," he replied, making me pout. Then he said,"we're gonna fight, that's what couples do."

Hearing that, I grinned from ear to ear, able to see my blushing cheeks.

"Ooo, 'couples'? We're a couple?! This is fun, I like it."

"Yes, 'couple', as in I'm your boyfriend. For real this time."

"You don't wanna shake on it? No contracts?" I joked, earning a playful head push.

"NO! One condition, though..."

"I'm listening..."

"You can't leave me ever again!" Gray picked me up and spun my body until we both grew dizzy and wound up at the end of the staircase.

"Can we kiss on it?" I asked, biting down on my lip.

Right as Grayson leaned in, Alfie barked and jumped onto my lap, licking my face instead.

We laughed together before I did get that kiss. That was better than any contract.

"You know," Gray paused,"I always knew it would be me and you in the end--"

I cut him off, having remembered he said that before. Word for word, I quoted what he said back in college at that one, big soccer game.

"--Us, a dog... a little house somewhere," I finished his sentence.

Grayson didn't think I'd remember him saying that. His eyes lit up and he grabbed my face, pulling me in for another kiss.

"I love you," he rasped.

"I love you, too." I confidently replied. And this time, no if's, and's, or but's followed.