Breanna Michelle Santana

I made my way up the stairs to the cabin, lugging my bag over my shoulder, and a cooler in the other hand.

Something at the top of the stairs stopped me. Or, should I say, someone.

"Oh. Hi, Holland." I spoke nicely to Grayson's sister who was giving me a smoldering look.

"Here to break my brother's heart some more?" She brought the claws out right away.

What did she mean 'some more', I thought in my head before blurting out a snappy response.

"I'm just here with my family to have a good time, really. Grayson invited me. We're all stuck here for a weekend, let's try not to have any problems, okay?" Once I said what I had to say, I tried pushing past her but she stuck her arm out to not let me pass.

I grunted and dropped my bags, this made Holland smirk devilishly like her younger brother often would.

"One more month and I don't wanna see your face again. And don't even think about interfering with him and Leila," Holland threatened, not putting an ounce of fear in my body, only regret - regret for even agreeing to go on the trip at all.

"Excuse me." I said calmly and walked on by without a single huff or mannerism.

Pushing open the door, I ran into the other two Jansen's I wasn't annoyed with: Colson and German.

It appeared that German and my father had hit it off. They were laughing and carrying on - full on classic white dad mode.

Colson opted for a fist pound and mentioned how he was glad I showed up despite what his siblings had going on.

As I rounded the corner to nip on up the dark wooden staircase, Joey caught up to me.

"Be my roommate?" He held my elbow, smiling at me.

I nodded, smiling, too.

======

Tired from nothing but chatting and unpacking, Joey and I had fallen asleep on his bed for a short amount of time but long enough to wake up to a darkening sky.

I shot up and raced to the window, ripping the blinds out of sight so I could see the sunset. An audible gasp escaped my mouth,"come on, let's go see it," I ran back to Joey and pulled him towards the door that we ran out of and zipped down the creaking staircase to the cabin that was built in the eighties.

My excitement quickly fizzled out when I saw that I wasn't the only one with the idea to watch the sunset at the cliff, Holland and Mark were there first.

As soon as I started to wonder where Grayson was, I heard giggling and he emerged from the woods with Leila. They walked hand-in-hand with toothy smiles on both their faces that stretched from ear-to-ear.
Leila concluded the laugh, resting her head on the part of his arm she could reach and lumbered on over with him.

Noticing the look on my face, Holland grew amused and decided to instigate.

"Had fun, you two?" She asked them.

With Leila looking up at him, blushing and awaiting his response, Grayson looked at me, looked away, and then gulped. "Yeah," he answered dryly, still holding her hand.

While I was probably the only one who thought so, the tension was thick. I felt awkward and unwanted. I demanded to know what Holland's problem was while wanting to get some dirt on this Leila girl because she seemed fucking perfect and that made me question how much of a shitty person I was — err, at least to Gray.

Look at her... with her... her... clear skin, voluptuous hair, and petite body. Pfft, I thought in my head, looking at Leila like I was studying her. Before, I didn't think I was the type but I was definitely jealous — the one thing I told myself NOT to be with Grayson, and look at me.

Joey pulled my body close to his, distracting me from my envious thoughts. I forced a smile at him and merely avoided eye contact with Grayson. I snuck a glance at him, though, trying to see if he was jealous of Joey's arms around me but Grayson didn't look the least bit concerned. In fact, Leila had him laughing out loud and taking selfies with open-mouthed smiles.

I had to quickly remind myself that our parents were there and that we agreed to a drama-free weekend, so I wouldn't go over and "interfere" with them - as Holland put it.

It's like I blinked and the sky went blue-black. The sun was gone and the moon and stars were out, and just as captivating.

A whistle soared through the air, grabbing our attention. We all turned and saw German waving us over by the fire he started with my dad's help, while my mom "supervised".

With a squeeze of my hand, Joey walked closely beside me towards the pit, Grayson and Leila following.

Colson chewed on a toothpick while being glued to his phone like the rest of us.

"Hey! Phones away," Holland demanded, snatching the Galaxy from her husband's hands.

"She's right," German sighed, giving his up as well.

Holland emptied the s'mores ingredients from the reusable bag and dropped the phones inside. Last to give his up was Grayson who wasn't too fond of his big sister at the time.

I looked over at them as they were having a standoff, and saw the almost empty box of beer by Grayson's chair.

"What would mom say?" She used that card to guilt him into cooperating.

Standing up in a huff and kicking the foldable chair on his way, Grayson took not only his phone, but the case of beer into the cabin.

"Gray-" I stood to go after him but stopped when I got questioning looks from Holland, Joey, and Leila.

"That's not your place anymore." Holland told me, her hand to my chest to stop me.

My eyes wandered to an upset Leila who nodded at me, but whether I had her "permission" or not, I was going to go check on him.

Slamming the door shut behind me, I scolded Grayson,"what was that," I roared.

He stopped pacing and put his phone face down on the countertop. "You came to check on little Ol' me? You shouldn't have. Really." He spoke with sarcasm.

I dared to get closer and tried being empathetic. "Gray, what's wrong?"

"You wanna talk about feelings now? I thought you didn't have any. Or wait— just not for me, right?" He slurred his words there a bit.

Grayson crushed a can and tossed it over his shoulder as he leaned against the farm sink and gripped the edges tight, his knuckles going red.

Whatever. I'll leave." I spat and threw my hands up.
As soon as I began to walk away, though, Grayson pulled me back.

I couldn't help but crack a smile at the feeling being back in his arms brought me - I never thought we'd be together again.

Playfully squirming away, Grayson turned me to face him wrapped me in his arms. When he went in for the kiss, I moved away but he took it as just playing and started sucking on my neck instead.

However, all I could think about was Leila and Joey and how they liked us both and deserved better.

I tried making excuses to get away.

"Gray," I whispered.

He came up and asked,"what?"

I swallowed,"our family's are out there." And our dates, too.

"So? We'll only be a minute and I thought you liked being spontaneous." Curses. He was right, but this was too risky and I honestly felt horrible— well, not physically.

With no remorse, Grayson peeled his shirt off and then slid his hand in between my legs. There was no denying that my body and heart wanted this but the logical, more compassionate part of my brain took over and wouldn't allow me to cave.

My mind flashed to not too much earlier in the night when Grayson and Leila strolled out of the woods. It was Holland's comment that made me suspicious, otherwise, I would've just thought they went for a hike or to drink away from everyone else to avoid having to share and hear German's mouth.

"Did you sleep with her?" I blurted, my eyes closed.

Grayson pulled away and pulled his bottom lip after wiping them. With a groan, he asked in a huskier voice,"Do you want the truth?"

Bracing myself, although I already had a pretty good idea, I exclaimed,"Yes!"

"Yeah," he admitted harshly,"I fucked her. So what, you got Joey!"

"We just agreed, Grayson; one more month, remember?! What about the contract-"

"Fuck that contract," he yelled,"it's not real!"

His yelling may have startled me but I wasn't going to let him scare me out of this one.

Balling my fists, my lip quivered before I shouted,"this isn't real!"

"Oh. My. God. Shut the fuck up, you tried that before!"

"Fuck you!" I argued, my voice breaking.

"Fuck you, too!" He barked back in my face, the vein in his neck popping out.

"You know," I breathed,"I wanted to be serious. I just needed more time-"

"More time to what?" His face was twisted like he didn't wanna hear what I had to say.

"TO FALL FOR YOU, ASSHOLE!"

"You're the one who said you can't fall in love in six months!"

"And I still stand by that." I remarked, folding my arms across my chest.

He stood over me again and spoke lowly. "The do yourself a favor, he paused and stared right into my glossy eyes,"do yourself a favor and mind your own fucking business before you keep getting hurt."

I used both hands to push him back. "What happened to you love me, huh?"

"I can ask you the same thing." Except, I only said it to be nice. Really, I didn't feel it when I said it back. Or... did I? It's all hazy now.

Through gritted teeth, I claimed,"If you loved me you wouldn't do this; you wouldn't talk to me like o-or sleep with women right in front of me!"

"Then I guess I don't love you. Never did." He replied savagely, and chugged beer from a can that was by the sink. Once it was gone, he burped and crushed it, dropping it onto the heated floor.

That. That was the straw that broke the camels back.

Tears filled my eyes and burned as they streamed down my red cheeks.

I was at my limit. "I'm so done," I let out, staring at nothing on the floor.

"I hate you," I let the words marinate for a while as my anger built up and came to a boil. It's like a timer went off, and the next time I finally blinked, I meant it. I really hated him.

"You... you fucking — UGH! I hate you!" I started throwing anything I could get my hands on - a waffle maker, a hydroflask, a pair of keys, some cookbooks, the cushion to the stool, a tissue box, you name it.

The tears were making it hard to see as they filled my eyes and made my vision blurry but that didn't stop me.

Memories of all the shit we'd been through came hurling back and only fueled me to inflict more pain.
Suddenly, luckily enough for the both of us, everyone came rushing inside once they heard all the commotion.

Instantly, my mom lunged over and swooped me up into her arms, my dad taking the frying pan out of my hands, but not easily.

I grabbed hold of the stool and refused to let go, encouraged to continue by the adrenaline.

"What's this all about?!" My father demanded an answer right away but Grayson and I said nothing.

"Well, someone better start talking." German said, his hands on his hips.

"It's their stupid contract," Holland squealed, stepping forward from the group.

My eyes widened and cleared. I broke out of my mom's arms but she pulled me back.

Holland continued despite the menacing looks on mine and Grayson's red face.

"Their whole relationship is — was — a sham! She's been forcing herself to fall in love with him and look, it's driven her crazy," Holland stopped talking to my dad and shifted her attention to Grayson but more so, me,"I told you, you can't play with your emotions like that."

That's when my dad, Chandler, put his foot down. He grabbed me up and insisted,"you're coming with us, we're going home, and this is over," with this evil look in his eyes in Grayson's direction.

For the first time ever, when I walked away from Grayson, I didn't look back.