Breanna Michelle Santana

   All it took was seeing him again for me to forget why I ever left in the first place. I really liked Grayson, maybe even loved him, but I wasn't sure I was ready to forgive him. I was so tired of the back-and-forth between us; one of us fucks up, we argue and swear each other off only to end up in bed together.

I've accepted my faults and owned up to them, that didn't make it right. We both had some work to do if we were going to get back on track to complete this bet on time.

"The nerve of that guy, am I right?" Joey spat, pacing through the foyer as we entered his hotel room.

Conveniently enough, he had been in town again but this time on business. It wasn't a permanent solution but it was looking like I wouldn't be needing him much longer anymore after making up with Grayson.

Not caring what he had to say bad about my "boyfriend", I just let him blab on, nodding my head to show that I was paying attention.

"I can't tell you who to hang with and who not to, but if you have any respect for me or yourself, you'd stay away from that guy." Joey kneeled down before me as I sat in a chair at the table. He put his hand on top of mine and looked deeply into my eyes.

"Oh, Joey," I sighed, putting my palm on his face,"it's not that easy."

Or was it?

Joey hung his head. When he looked up, I closed my mouth. He looked so upset. "K, then. I'll drop it, sorry. How about lunch?"

"Sure. What're we hungry for?"

Joey stood and led me to the kitchen area where we read over the menu. "How's a grilled cheese sound, I haven't had one since I was a kid?" He looked at me with a faint smile.

I smiled back. "I'd like that. Ooh, with soup!"

"Chicken or tomato?"

"Hm. I was going to say chicken, but tomato's calling my name. Surprise me!" I flicked his nose and skipped over to the balcony to stare out into the view of the city.

It wasn't too long later when room service was delivered, we had our cart of food and we eating on the floor like little kids.

I was giggling after something Joey said, he was mildly funny, I appreciated his dry humor. The only thing is, he wasn't goofy and I kind of missed that. It had been so long since Grayson and I were goofy together because in the past few months we were always at each other's throats, both literally and figuratively.

Joey used a napkin to wipe the crumbs from his mouth and finished laughing.

"So when do I get to meet the parents, or is that exclusive for boyfriends only?"

I removed the warm sandwich from my mouth and swallowed. "Joey, you have to understand, not only do I not really talk to my parents anymore, but I've only had one boyfriend and as soon as he met my parents, I found out he was gay. So, I'm not exactly dying to introduce them to anyone else. You're not gay, are you?"

He chuckled some,"No, I'm not gay. You'd know that if you ever let me touch you."

"Please not this again, I told you-"

"I know," he sat up,"it's always 'I'm on my period' or 'I'm not in the mood'. If you're not into me then just say that."

Why did I feel so bad? Joey was a great guy and not at all ugly, he just wasn't for me. I was just so stuck on Grayson, I couldn't allow myself to move on. The first thing he'd ask is if I let anyone else touch me and if I had, he'd be disgusted and not want anything to do with me. Besides, I'd be pretty bummed to find out Grayson's been sleeping around.

"How about tonight? I have something to do first but maybe when I come back when can... do it." The words didn't even sound right. I didn't know what to fucking say because I didn't want to have sex with the guy.

"Are you sure?" He asked, eyes lit up.

Say no, back out now.

"Yeah." I agreed.

Pussy.

"Well then I have some preparations to make. So you have to leave."

I laughed as Joey helped me onto my feet. "Wait, what? Joey, please, don't do some big thing. Really, I'm a simple girl."

"Far from simple, give yourself some credit. Besides, you deserve something grand, you've been through a lot. Come on, let me show you a good time."

"Okay," I gave in,"I'll be back in a few hours."

"I'm counting down the seconds." He whispered lowly, flashing me a smile as I reached the door and shook my head at him with blushing cheeks.

======

Nerves trickled through my body as I got ready to knock on Grayson's door.

I swallowed and reminded myself that it was only Grayson and nothing to be scared of.

He opened the door and the smell of Irish Springs soap invaded my nose. Ah, how I missed that smell. I had almost gotten used to Joey's Hugo Boss Man cologne.

At the same time we were both excited, we were nervous and didn't know what to say or who should speak first.

"Hey." I broke the ice.

"Hey." He responded, exhaling.

I admired the way his muscles strained against the black shirt he was wearing that fell over his blue jeans and crisp black belt. He wore nice matching sneakers, a chain, and a watch, of course.

"So," I vibrated my lips,"can I come in or what?"

"Uh-uh," he sounded, confusing me.

"Oh, I can't?"

"Nope," his head shook,"we're going out."

"Out where?"

"On a date. Where else?"

"Are we sure that's a good idea?"

"It's a great idea. How does free climbing sound?"

"Terrible."

"Good because that's not what we're doing." He locked the door and turned back to look down at me.

I laughed at his misdirect and wondered where we were really headed to but it was supposed to be a surprise.

======

"Can you just admit we're lost." I smacked my lips, unable to read the map since our phones had no service.

"We're not lost." Grayson insisted.

"You won't be any less of a man if you put your pride aside."

He cocked his neck at me and grumbled,"we're not lost."

When the road became bumpy and too foggy to drive on, Grayson parked the car in the middle of no where.

"Okay, we're lost."

"Well, this was almost a cute date."

"You want to know a secret?"

"Hit me."

"I know exactly where we are and I brought you out here to kill you."

"Oh, I'm sure. Please, just do it fast."

He laughed lightly and said,"But seriously, I wanted to just drive and get lost. We needed to talk and I didn't want any distractions."

"Oh okay, not like we couldn't have just turned our phones off and locked ourselves in your apartment or anything." My smart remark earned me a nudge.

"Okay," I laughed,"you have my attention."

"And suddenly I don't know what to say."

"Then I'll start; I did some thinking — some self-eval, if you will — what I did was disgusting and really could've changed not only your life, but hers too. I can't apologize enough."

"Thank you for that. I pushed you to do it, though, not saying it was right — but it was my fault." He turned the Jeep off and unfastened his seatbelt.

Grayson continued. "The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you, and I did. I wish I could blame it on something else but I'm just - I dunno - dumb, I guess."

"You're not dumb," I put my hand on his thigh,"we could go back and forth all night but I was the one pushing you away, saying this wasn't real."

"You were just trying not to get hurt and look what I did, hurt you anyway. So, where do we go from here, we do have another month left?"

"I know. Well, if you forgive me I don't see why we can't just move on?"

He didn't say anything in response to my question so I posed another. "When is this going to be over, Gray?"

He hesitated before speaking in a low tone,"The day you decide it's over, it's over." I nodded, disappointed.

What did I expect, him to call the bet off and admit he'd actually fallen for me?

Uncontrollably, a tear fell from my eye. I quickly wiped it away and sniffled.

"What's wrong?" Asked Grayson, putting a hand on my thigh.

"Nothing." I lied. I knew exactly what was wrong. We had no business being together but he was all I wanted, no matter how much shit we went through.

"One of the rules on the contract was communication, remember? Tell me."

"I really like you and I wish we could be together for real, but everything keeps going wrong like it's not meant to be."

"Brea, just say it; say you love me."

"I'm scared." I admitted.

I didn't want to continue down the path we were going. I said the 'L' word before and ended up looking dumb. Grayson would only think things were fine between us and it would go back to normal had I said it. He would know that no matter what he did, I'd always forgive him.

"Just say it." He leaned in, his voice seducing me.

My lip quivered before I breathed in with closed eyes. "I love you." I let out uneasily, scared to open my eyes but when I did, I was met with a kiss on the lips. Unlike our other kisses, this one was slow and sensual. We weren't in a rush or completely devouring each other. It's as if we were prisoners on Death Row, given our last meal and ought to savor every small bite.

Our bodies swiftly transitioned into the backseat. I was too weak to take control so I lied on my back and let Grayson start undressing me. My skin was covered in goosebumps and trembled at Grayson's every touch.

We loathed every second he wasted removing his shirt because that was time we could've spent locking lips. Grayson eased back in between my legs and stopped once more but only to say "I love you" to which I brought our lips back together and swirled my tongue with his.

======

Gray and I came down and laid there, his sticky body on top of mine. We listened to the pitter-patter of rain drops hitting the truck.

I blinked as I looked up at nothing and ran my fingertips along Grayson's shoulder blade.

"It's always going to be like this, isn't it?" Grayson sought, not picking his head up from my beating chest.

"Always is a long time," I muttered.

"How does another month sound?"

"Sounds close."

"You think you can put up with me for a few more weeks?"

"I'll manage."