Breanna Michelle Santana

When I woke up in the morning, I didn't feel an ounce of regret. I thought I'd feel bad for how things ended with Kaign but I figured it was well-deserved. I gave myself props for staying in a relationship so long, too, it was my first real one ever.

After I yawned, I cracked my back and then peered out of the window from my bed.

The marimba sound came from my black iPhone XS Max.

Dad💙🤞🏼

"Hello," I answered the call on the second ring.

"Finally, I've been calling you since eight. What, no work today?" He nagged in true fatherly nature.

I looked behind me to the digital alarm clock and saw that it was 11:58 am.

"No, I have a wedding to shoot later," I told him the truth.

"Atta girl, always workin'. You and Kaign took off this weekend, right," he asked me and I gulped immediately.

"I don't think we'll be able to make it, dad," I braced myself for the scolding I was ready to endure.

"Brea, Nan died. This is your grandmother we're talking about, the woman who birthed me," he told me the news of his mother passing. I didn't know what to say, I was never close to my grandmother as she led a very exciting life far away.

"They're bringing her here to be buried in her hometown," he didn't sound too heartbroken about it so I figured he already grieved.

"I'm sorry, dad," I murmured but those sympathetic words wouldn't bring her back. Again, I spoke,"I remember how she used to call me Bria (bree-uh) instead of Brea (Bri)," and made my dad laugh that hardy laugh of his I missed so much no matter how much I heard it over the phone.

"Your mother asked for you," he let me know, changing the subject to something more lighthearted.

"How is she," I dared to ask.

"Eh. She just got back from her honeymoon with Scott," he said obliviously.

"It's Steve, dad," I told him his ex wife's — Maria — new boyfriend's name and then said,"and they're not married, you two are."

"We won't be much longer if she keeps seeing this guy," his jealousy wasn't at all subtle.

They got a legal seperation quite a while ago and she was the only one benefitting from it, running off with man after man to whatever far off country while my dad, named Chandler, remained the responsible one he always was over the course of their two decade relationship.

I wasn't about to entertain his shit talking, though, so I reverted the topic at hand back to me going to visit. "I want to, but Kaign's so busy, he got a promotion and-"

"You know I already don't like the guy, he should want to come and leave a better impression," my dad growled.

"I know, dad, give him a break. Besides, he's really not that bad-"

"Once I 'get to know him'? Hmph. Your mother said the same thing to her dad when we were your age," his mood changed, loosening up. I heard my father chuckle and then exhale lightly.

"Okay, I trust you, but is there any way you can still come this weekend?"

"We'll be there," I lied again. I just wanted to tell my dad to his face why Kaign and I broke up.

"Good, see you Saturday," he beamed with excitement and ended the short call.

Disgruntled, I fell back onto my mattress and blew air from my lungs.

There was no way Kaign would go with me to Oregon and I definitely wasn't about to beg him!

======

"Perfect!" I assure the bridal party that their photos were looking great.

All smiles, the bride asked if she could get some in another location. Of course, I agreed, and followed closely behind the band of friends and family down the corridor.

I adjusted my settings and wiped off the lens before aiming the camera at the beautiful faces before me.

A smile wriggled onto my face as I focused the shot.

With a steady hand and squinted eye, I snapped the picture and waited a second before moving to look at it.

Naturally, they raced over to look at it, too, and judge themselves before going back to get more in different poses.

I was hesitant to speak up but eventually did,"Can I get some of just the bride, please?"

"Oh. Of course," the maid of honor agreed and shooed everyone out of the way.

The bride was beautiful. Her name was Nancy and she had known Simon for only two months before he popped the big question.

"—How'd you know?" I asked Nancy questions about their love. She smiled wide and looked at me sweetly, her spray-tanned skin glowing but I didn't know if that was from the HD makeup, pregnancy, or the excitement of her big day.

"When I saw him, it's like everything stopped, I was the only girl in the world. He's made me happy everyday for the past few months and I know he won't stop anytime soon," she told me.

As admirable as it was, I had my reserves. There was no way she fell in love after only two months, I thought in my head.

She was going on and on about their plans after the wedding but it was all getting too sentimental for my liking so I interjected,"One more picture, please?" In a hurry, she waddled to the center of the room directly in the spot where the blinding sunlight was shining down on and smiled graciously for the photo.

CLICK!

"Thanks," I faked a warm smile and then observed the hundreds of shots I had already taken before the wedding even begun.

The wedding coordinator, Riley, — of Riley's Wedding Planning Co. — had rushed the bridal party back downstairs as the beginning of the ceremony was only moments away.

"Oh, Brea?" Called Nancy who was being led down the staircase.

"Yeah?" I answered with large eyes.

"Could you not be late, I really want a shot of my husband standing at the alter before I make my entrance," she requested, not trying to be rude.

"Of course, I'm right behind you," I promised her, starting to walk in the same direction. She smiled up at me once more.

Once she was out of sight, I put my camera down and let out a breath of exhaustion.

The great, ancient architecture of the cathedral had blown me away with its beauty. I wandered the corridor in awe, snapping a few pictures.

In my sandals, I twirled with closed eyes like I was a little girl in a flower meadow.

Bells chimed and I saw a bunch of birds flee from the balcony.

It was a beautiful day, especially for a wedding. Nancy and Simon were lucky, I just hoped it would last and I didn't even know them personally as they only found me online.

Hearing the organ playing, I snapped out of my head and raced downstairs.

======

Everything was lovely and the wedding went smoothly.
At some point, I even found myself tearing up and didn't know why. Perhaps it was because I always dreamed about having a wedding but I could no longer see that for myself anymore. However, I just blamed the flood of emotions on my period starting soon.

The newlyweds had rice thrown at them per tradition and skipped gleefully down the steps showing all teeth. They shared a kiss and got some more pictures taken together before getting in their cliche honeymoon convertible.

Everyone waved but it wouldn't be the last time they'd be seen as the reception was taking place shortly after, in another part of town.

======

As expected, the reception was lovely as well. Everyone was eating and drinking or dancing and carrying on. And while the energy was vibrant, I was pretty fucking depressed.
All around me were people I didn't know who were in love and in love with the idea of being in love. Even kids and those who seemed to be single were completely teary-eyed over the couple. It was like they had all been hit with Cupid's bow and it completely missed me. Eh, who needed it anyway? "Love" was the last thing on my mind.

Pfft, two months, I mentally laughed at the stupidly blind couple who swore they were "in love". Yeah, right.

I was eating cake and minding my own business in the corner of the loud room when Nancy grabbed me by my wrist, bringing my tired body to a circle of other women who were already pushing and shoving one another. One woman, who looked to be in her mid-forties, seemed to want it more than any other girl in the crowd. I glared over at her and shook my head thinking about how ashamed she should be for acting an ass in front of all the decent men in attendance that she could possibly land if she wasn't so desperate.

What a bunch of idiot bitches, I thought. Catching some used flowers didn't determine who would fall in love and get married next. It wasn't fate or whatever they claimed it was.

Nancy stood in front and then closed her brown eyes and turned her back to us.

As much as I wanted no parts, I stood there anyway just to not look like a total party pooper.

At long last, Nancy tossed the bouquet in the air and all the ladies completely dived forward into a doggy pile.

Huh, would ya look at that, I thought. The lot of arranged flowers had fallen right in front of me. See, a coincidence. Not fate.

The women all arose slowly and looked at me with twinkling eyes.

"What," I wondered why they were looking at me like that until Nancy started clapping and grinning at me like a crazy person.

"Congrats," she rejoiced and gave me a tight squeeze. It was so embarrassing, everyone staring and cheering for me as if it were a prize of monetary value.

"Thanks, but no thanks. Excuse me, I have to go. Good luck, and congrats again, really. I'll have the album for you sometime next week," I said my goodbyes to Nancy and waved to Simon on my out.

I couldn't do it anymore. Weddings officially sucked, or at least they did for people who were bitter... like myself.

======

"Eck," I sounded and wore a look of disgust on my face when I neared the front door of my apartment.

Kaign pushed his weight off the siding and started to speak. "Okay," he sighed,"you win."

I looked at him confused but didn't say anything.

With his manicured hands in the pockets of his jacket, he put his foot down and said,"I'll let you move in with me. You happy? Get your stuff, let's go." He must've found the things I purposely left in his drawer, I figured, but it was too late.

"Kaign, I don't wanna move in with you. We're done," I reminded him as he must've hit his big head and forgot what went down the night before.

He scoffed and blinked frantically. "What do you want, huh, Brea? You want me to say sorry? Fine. I'm sorry, is that better?"

My head shook with a blank, tired look on my soft-glammed face.

"I know you've never had to deal with rejection in your life before but there's a first time for everything. Me and you... are over. Done. Finished. Through. What don't you get," I tapped a pen on his skull and went to unlock my door.

"My parents are coming Sunday, remember? You promised to have lunch-" he pleaded.

I poked my lip out in a mocking manner at him. "Oh," I spoke with sarcasm,"promises mean something to you now? Just like you promised to go to Oregon with me? Right."

He paced furiously then got in my face and barked,"Fuck it! Just know, without me, you're nothing. We're in business together, you'll have to see me everyday and I'm everywhere. There's nothing here for you if it's not me, babe. Don't forget that, k?" He lifted my chin and winked at me before stomping away.

I yawned and scratched my head before finally getting to go inside.

Once in, I casually dropped all of my things to the floor and stood there like a zombie.

...

AGGHHHH! I screamed in my mouth but kept my lips sealed.

My conscious asked if I felt better but I didn't.

I waited a moment and then flailed my arms and legs in a sort of temper tantrum, or breakdown, until my bra strap fell and lifeless hair was all in my red face.

Whew, okay, NOW I feel better, I thought, shaking the blonde hair out of my face.

"K. How 'bout a drink?" I asked aloud, collecting myself, as I adjusted my black bra strap on the way to the kitchen.
I hopped up to stand on the counter and reached in the top cabinet for a glass of honey flavored Jack Daniels that I hid from myself a few months back when Kaign was stressing me out.

There I was, laying on my back in the middle of the hardwood floor, fully dressed from the wedding with an open, half-empty bottle of honey Jack in my right hand, my legs crossed.

Maybe Kaign was right, I started thinking, pondering his words.

"There's nothing for you here-" Kaign vowed.

And he was right.

Fed up and with a sudden burst of boldness, I whipped out my phone and dialed my dad's number.

As soon as he answered, I spoke.

"Hey, dad. You still got that plane ticket?"