Just a nude by Savaginity
65 ;; Do not talk about hate

January 6th, 2019

"What did he get in return for protecting her?" Seokjin spat. "Nothing but pain and trauma. Pain that he couldn't live with. Pain he wanted to escape, by sleeping away. Forever."

Jimin felt so bad. He felt so...dirty. To live a life, knowing he couldn't help him. To even feel having no control over his emotions just because he was so weak. He was disgusted with himself.

"And what did your sister do? She barely even remembered him. By the time she was with her own life, I completely lost my Jongin. When Taehyung and V came along, he was finally progressing. Then what did your fucking friend do?!"

He spat, kicking Jimin's side in anger. Jimin winced, clutching his side as he let Seokjin hurt him.

"For once he liked someone and he hurt him too. Because of your fucking sister. Again and again and again!"

He didn't know anymore. He was tired with everything that was happening. He just wanted to disappear. From the faces of earth. Jongin loved Naeun and V loved Hoseok. But both of it was unrequited. Oh God.

"And you think he voluntarily hurt your sister? You think Kai would do that to her?" Seokjin glowered. "My Kai could never hurt anyone. Do you even know him? How vulnerable and weak he is? And he can hurt your sister? He fucking couldn't! For fuck's sake Kai is a personality of a four year old!"

Jimin's heart stopped. Kai didn't kill his sister?

"Your sister was on fucking drugs that night! And she lost control and charged at my brother! That fucking bitch! He had to go through that once again! And when he killed her out of defence, your fucking best friend kills him! How is that fair?! How can you still side with your sister?!"

No, no, no, no! His sister would never do that. Never.

Jimin was about to open his mouth when he remembered something.

"Taehyung was an extroverted personality. He liked to read. He was the prime personality among others, always in control. He made friends. He loved his brothers to death. The other personalities let his identity known to others, since everyone liked him better. This personality of his, reflected Jongin's positive side. Taehyung pretended and did everything just to feel a little happiness. He even had a crush on some guy in town. Other reason he was good at it was because, he remembered nothing about the abuse. Nothing."

"The next one is V." Jackson went on. "I presume he was playful and mischievous. Had a foul mouth. Very intimidating and sly. Namjoon and Seokjin said he went to a lot of parties, drank a lot, slept around and did a lot other stuff a teenager would do. I believe this personality reflected his urge to live a normal life. Or at least try to. I'm not sure if he remembers the abuse or not, though. Every time I tried, he'd always be playful and snide."

"The next one is Kai." Jackson said, his eyes a little darker. "He is quite...hard. Suicidal. Never opened up. He was who got into a lot of physical pains. He hurt himself. Attempted suicide a lot of times. He was the worst. Every time there was a nightmare, he woke up from it's trigger. He was always tired. He felt guilty for everything, let it be for himself or for others. He remembered the abuse the most."

"Kai was the most...deviant among others. His personality was not something to cope up with the trauma. It was something as a....reflection of the trauma. He was also found adapting some behaviours of his own abuser, imitating him to....um in a way to overpower him. Caught in an illusion of fighting him, thriving to win. Even though his abuser was not there, he couldn't get himself out of what happened. He believed he was still alive, he was still there when....the-the abuse happened and—lived it again and again every time he awoke."

If Kai was a personality of a four year old and that he couldn't kill someone with that state of mind, then it was not Kai who was awake that night. That night, another personality had been awake. Who was it? Now, this guy Taehyung had a crush on was from town. But Hoseok was not from town.

Suddenly he remembered Jungkook's diary.

TAEHYUNG KISSED ME! OH MY GOD! OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG! WE WENT TO THIS SMALL CAFE AND TALKED WHILE WE ATE SOME CAKE! IT WAS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!

I hate Hoseok. Not just because Taehyung liked him but because he couldn't even see what Taehyung feels.

Holy shit, did Taehyung like Jungkook?!

And that one time Taehyung told him in the arts room.

It is not my fault. I didn't do it, I swear to God. He was in love with him. It wasn't me.

That didn't sound like V for sure. It didn't sound like Taehyung, the ball of sunshine. Not Kai, if it was a four year old. Then Jongin. If it was Jongin that day at the arts room, and by 'him' he meant Hoseok, then it means—

It hit Park Jimin like a truck. A fucking epiphany.

"Taehyung was never in love with Hoseok." he mumbled, his voice barely a breath.

"What?" Seokjin snapped.

"It was V." he said.

It was V. He liked Hoseok because Taehyung, liked Jungkook.

However, Taehyung was the one friends with Hoseok. So V pretended to be him, to be close with Hoseok.

He remembered the abuse too well. He remembered Naeun. He hated Naeun. For what happened to Jongin and for being in love with Hoseok. And now it all made sense. It all clicked. The alter egos liked different people. Taehyung liked Jungkook. V liked Hoseok. Jongin liked Naeun.

Everyone thought that Taehyung was awake all throughout. But no, most of the times it's V, pretending to be Taehyung to get close to Hoseok.

Taehyung didn't even remember our kiss....That hurts....so fucking much. He straight up denied our kiss and said it was a mistake. A fucking mistake. Gbd I canf bredth. I'm so pagetic for vrying iver a guyy.

Taehyung kissed Jungkook. But V couldn't remember it and thus he denied kissing Jungkook. Memory gaps was common for DID patients. Also, if Jimin was right, Taehyung had no idea about the abuse. Had no idea who Naeun was. He wasn't awake that day. So he obviously had idea what happened to her.

Last year there was someone who was utterly humiliated by the whole college when someone spread their nude. They were hurt so bad that they hung and killed themselves on the ceiling fan in the old arts room. I don't know much more. That's what I heard, though.

Taehyung said this in the arts room. He had no idea about the truth. Then he was never there that night when Doori died. V. It was V with Naeun that night.

"Taehyung was not the prime ego." Jimin let out. "V was."

V had to be the personality who took over the most.

when i said everyone's dumb for this book, i meant it. you will have to reread it, i'm sorry.

memory gaps are common for DID patients. and it's really common to pretend to be another alter ego. every personality is each different individual as they are. it's not that all the personalities are asleep when one personality takes over all the time. but even then, memory gaps are common.