27. Flash&Flesh

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"I think you're a bit confused," Jungkook announces, seconds before fabric hits my face and I realize he threw my own shirt at me. "I'm your ghost, not your puppy. I'm not going to fetch your clothes."

"Excuse you, you're the one who offered," I laugh as I put the shirt on, laughing once again when I see Jungkook visibly relax – he no longer has to avoid eye contact and my upper body region. "I would have jumped with a shirt on if I knew titties scared you as much as they do," I tease him.

"I'm not scared of titties and don't call them titties, it's weird," he rolls his eyes.

"Um, I'm pretty sure you are scared because you were as pale as a ghost when I took my shirt off."

"I'm the only one that makes death jokes," he glares at me. "Besides, titties can be pretty scary. And what the hell was that move anyways? You'd bend over backwards to kick me out of the bathroom even when I didn't have an intention of following you there and now suddenly, you're a nudist?"

"Dude, that's totally not the same," I plop down onto the sand, finally able to sit down now that I'm completely dry and dressed. "This is skinny dipping – you're supposed to be naked. And it's a controlled environment."

"Huh?"

"Meaning, I flashed you on my own accord for a greater purpose," I laugh. "You ogling at me while I shower is a totally different story."

"You do realize that I wouldn't actually do that, right?" he asks as he sits down next to me.

"I kind of figured that one out when you freaked out because of my titties," I laugh when he nudges me with his shoulder but I still see a tiny smile on his face. "You were such a dick when we first met though – even when you walked in on me changing."

"Yeah well, back then you were just my hot human roommate that could see me and talk to me."

"Are you implying that I'm not hot now?" I act flabbergasted.

"Nah, I'm implying that you're basically my only and best friend, but whatever floats your boat," he shrugs.

I was expecting him to deny it – after all, I was only joking when I said it. But I wasn't expecting him to call me his best friend. At this point, I know I am the only one he has but best friend? That means a lot.

Jungkook isn't the one for emotional confessions and I'm sure as hell not the one who reacts well to those. When I realize that despite my wishes, no coherent words are going to come out of my mouth, I closed it for good and I leaned over closer to him, linking my arm with his and leaning my head on his shoulder. "You're my best friend too," is all I can come up with.

I can't count it, nor compare it. Hoseok is my best friend. As are Jimin and Yoongster. But that doesn't mean that Kook can't be my best friend too – I know it doesn't because that's what he is. I meant what I said. After everything that has happened I honestly can't imagine not having him in my life, whether it's as an occasionally annoying presence in my apartment or a friend I get to talk to, someone who listens to me and unapologetically shakes some sense into me.

The comfortable silence lasts and I just wait for the moment Jungkook's going to break it. He never was particularly quiet, after all. It starts with a shrug of his shoulder, which makes my head almost fall from it – I link our arms a bit closer. "Penny for your thoughts," he mumbles.

I snort. "A couple hundred bucks wouldn't suffice."

"How about one at a time then?"

I take a deep breath, settling for something that's been on my mind lately but that I haven't voiced out loud. Not to him, not to anyone. Not even to myself. "I think I'm going to give up from university."

To his credit, whether he's surprised or not, he does not show it. From how I'm leaning onto him, I can only see a part of his face and his expression doesn't really change as he stares at the calm water before us. "I had a feeling you were going to say something like that eventually. Did you really think about it?"

"I'm still debating," I tell him. "There's a gigantic list of both pros and cons and I need to consider each one of them. The libra in me has to overthink this properly," I shake along with him when he chuckles. "I don't thing psychology is for me but fuck, I've invested so much time and energy into getting this far and throwing all of that away is a Godzilla sized con."

"Are pros and cons really worth it if the final decision doesn't make you happy?"

The reader in him jumped out. I still remember the utter shock when the ghost dickhead I ended up shaking up with turned out to be a well-read guy. It wasn't books or grades or the fact that he majored in computer since – a person can be smart whether or not they have a diploma to fall back on. It was the fact that he has read so many books and not only that, but he could have a decent debate about the ones we both have read.

Is he still an occasional dickhead? Sure. Would he probably do a keg stand at a frat party? I can see it happening. "Keeping up with the Kardashians" as a guilty pleasure? Maybe. But he can also form a sentence so beautifully and straight to the point that he'll leave me speechless.

And a little insecure, not only about my own sentence construction but the questions it raises as well.

"I suppose they're not," I reluctantly agree.

"It doesn't matter what you do or which direction you chose. If you're not happy, if it doesn't feel right, what's the fucking point?" he asks.

"Does anything even have a point?" I let out a dark chuckle. "We force ourselves to do shit we don't even want to do. And even if we wanted to do it at some point, we start to hate it because somewhere down the road, it becomes a job, not a passion. We study and we work, we spend money and we work, we spend money and we work, all to feed ourselves. Keep our stomachs full and our ego well-fed because that's what it's all about? Buy useless shit and preach hedonism when in reality you're just one in 7 billion robots, all surviving. Until you finally realize nothing has a point and it's not worth it."

It just pours out of me. So much so that I have to catch my breath when I'm finally done talking.

No, not talking – ranting. Exploding. So many thoughts and feelings – something I've been thinking about for years, stuff I've been feeling for the past few weeks, emotions that got stirred in the last two minutes – it all went out, with no filter whatsoever.

"You're right," Jungkook speaks up after a long and frankly, awkward silence. "Nothing makes sense and nothing has a point. Until you die. Then you realize it did have a point after all."

"Oh shit," I sigh, only just realizing how my word vomit might sound to a ghost – a young ghost, at that. "I'm sorry Kook, I wasn't thinking, don't listen-"

"Hey, it's okay," he nudges me with his shoulder and this time around, the hold of his hand on mine grows stronger. "You didn't say anything that isn't true. I used to think like that too, right until it was too late to change my mindset. I didn't have anyone to tell me things like these though. But you got me. I'm here to knock some sense into you," he nudges me with his shoulder, showing me that goofy smile of his. Dude must really care for me, if he didn't get insulted by my lack of tact.

"I might have you but I don't have my ducks in a fucking line," I sigh.

"Neither did I," he chuckles. "Did I ever tell you that I didn't start with IT?" he asks.

"Nope," I frown. "What happened?"

"Same thing that happened with you," he laughs as he looks back at the water, remembering something he probably tucked away deep in his mind. "Dad's a lawyer. Family business. Grandpa was a lawyer too. And seeing as my brother was the one who decided not to follow through with the expectations, I had to be the brother that picks up the slack. And I did, for two years," he chuckles. "That's when I decided I did not want to do it anymore. From what I've heard about your parents, mine were gentle in comparison. They actually accepted my decision, glad I didn't give up on university altogether. Even without their support, I would have done the same."

"Yeah, you're bloody brave."

"So are you," I roll my eyes. Bravery my ass, I am anything but. "Just the fact that you accepted something so frightening makes you brave."

"Let's agree to disagree," I sigh, not wanting this debate to go on any further because I already know we won't see eye to eye. "I'm amazed at how little I actually know about you," I swiftly change the subject. "You know everything there is to know about me and I know so little about you."

"That's because your life is ongoing, pumpkin," I roll my eyes at the random nickname he just used. "My life... not so much."

"That's because we haven't found your happiness yet," I shake my head. "I will find Jeon Jungkook's happiness if it's the last thing I do," I sound more confident than I actually am.

"You're really annoying, you know that?" he asks.

"Yep. And we changed the subject – why do I know so little about you?"

"You know all there is to know, trust me," he shakes his head. "And as for chasing my happiness, you should probably stop for a second, scratch your head and realize that you don't have to take me on a field trip and flash me to make me happy. Hanging out with you is enough."

"Yeah, but it's not groundbreaking, rainbow making, world shaking happy, is it?" I ask.

"And you thought titties will be just that?" he laughs when I hit him. "Come on, let's go home."

"But I wanna stay," I whine. "I want to grill you and find out more about you."

"I'll answer questions if we leave now," he starts laughing when I immediately jump up. "Jesus, you're eager. What do you want to know?" he asks as we start walking back to Hobi's car, going the long way round.

"Okay, this is going to be a bit weird," I warn him, nodding when he looks at me with his eyebrows raised. "I want to know what you smell like."

"What I- What I smell like?" he does a double take.

"Yeah," I shrug. "I mean, I always associate smells with people. I could sniff Hobi from a mile away with his Armani and Yoongs has been using Invictus since he was like...7. I associate smells with people and you... well you don't have any kind of smell," I shrug. Now I suddenly feel bad for bringing it up, seeing as smell is obviously not something he brought with him into afterlife.

"Soap and a bit of cologne, with a dash of man smell mixed into it," he tells me with a goofy smile.

Jesus. I could ask him the most idiotic question and he would still answer and play along. As annoying as he can get at times, people like Jungkook are hard to find.

"How weird is it that I can actually imagine it now?" I wonder out loud.

"Extremely," he laughs. "But you decided to flash me today, so..."

"Can we not talk about that?"

"Hardly, it flashes before my eyes whenever I close them," he offers me a goofy smile. "Flashes. Get it?"

"Yeah, I understand puns. And if you weren't dead already, I'd kill you. Get it?"

"Ah, the joys of being able to be seen by a bitchy individual," he sighs, throwing an arm over my shoulder. "You're my favorite person to-sound-like-an-old-married-couple with, JJ."

"Right back at you, you ass."

"Bitch."


....



OKAY! FINALLY!

I was actually writing this for WEEKS. Actual, literal weeks.

Work is hell and I'll be seeing BTS in 38 days (and 39 BUAHAHAHAHAHA) so I need to actually be able to afford staying in Germany for 10 days.

So yeah, money – work – no free time.

I promise I'll write more in October. Cross my heart.


I LOVE YOU GUYS, WILL TRY TO UPDATE SOON! <3

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