Seeing Hoseok fully dressed and smelling his Armani cologne as he walks by me is a complete contrast to the pajama wearing, hair-like-a-nest me.

"Hyeri really got you whipped, huh?" I chuckle over my cup of cooled down coffee; he lifts his head to peak over the fridge door.

"What makes you say that?"

"This," I point at him up and down. "And the fact that I'm not sure when's the last time you actually slept in your own bedroom. Just remember to give me a heads up if you actually move in with her; I want to have time to find a new roommate if you leave me."

"I'm not leaving you," he rolls his eyes as he grabs the milk out of the fridge and joins me at the table, reaching to grab the box of cereal. "It's just easier that way. Would you prefer if I brought her home?"

"Nope, thanks."

"See?" he laughs as he dumps the cereal in a bow. "Whipped or not, I'm still considerate towards my bestie. Which is not something you can say, seeing as I had to live with you and Namjoon for years."

"Dude, you knew you were signing up for years of third-wheeling, don't blame me."

"I'm not, I'm not," he laughs, lifting his hands up in surrender. "You know, it's nice to see you smiling again."

"I never stopped smiling," I point out. I mean sure, for a few days, I was all frowns and sighs but it's not like I was crying myself to sleep night after night. I cried like a baby on the first night, a bit more the day after but since then, I haven't shed a tear, definitely not because of Joon. I haven't stopped smiling, I'm completely normal.

"I think you did, for a little while."

"I think you were too busy with Hyeri to actually notice."

"Wow, shots fired," he sighs. "I know I've been busy and –"

"No, I wasn't trying to shoot you," I start laughing. "If anything, I was reassuring you. You weren't with me 24/7, Hobi. I have been doing just fine. Just because you didn't see me smiling doesn't mean I wasn't smiling at all."

"Yeah but... you're alone all the time. Man, the more I talk the worse I feel!"

How can I explain that I am never alone? I haven't been alone in a while now. Hell, the word alone can just leave my vocabulary at this point! No matter where I am or what I do, Jungkook is nearby. The only time when he is actually willing to leave me be is when I'm in the bathroom or at school.

It has gotten to the point when it's sort of unsettling to just be alone with Hobi. Jungkook didn't follow me into the kitchen when I got up and at first I thought nothing off it but now I see just how weird it is to talk to Hobi without hearing Kook's adlibs or simply being annoyed by his presence.

To be fair, it's kind of nice to talk one on one with my friend after such a long time of having an invisible third wheel but it's also weird. Because I am almost never left alone.

"Hobi, I've known you my entire life," I chuckle as I drop my spoon and reach for his hand instead. "We have been friends for as long as I can remember. I'm going to need you to trust me on this. I am doing just fine. You would be the first person I'd talk to if I was going through anything. So just... keep that in mind, okay? If I need your help in any shape or form, I will not think twice to ask for it. Go, be in love, enjoy life. I will absolutely call if I need you."

"The problem is, I'm not sure about that," he sighs, frowning at me. "I don't think you'd call. I think you'd try to weather it on your own."

"Hobi, I'm telling you right now that I wouldn't pull a stunt like that. You're my best friend. I wouldn't lie to you."

That is true. Unless the lie involves a certain ghost. At that point, I become the best liar in history.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

For a while, Hoseok and I simply eat our breakfast in silence. It is far from uncomfortable. With certain people, even silence is amazing and Hoseok will always be one of those people for me.

Before he leaves, he pats my back and squeezes my shoulder. With that move, he says everything words couldn't live up to. He's here. Even if he's not, even if he's busy and in love, all it takes is one call from me and he will be by my side, not just emotionally but very literally.

That's good. It reminds me that I still have him. And I know he can continue being a fool in love because I am not going to need him. I have Jungkook and Hobi is free to... well, be free.

Jungkook struts into the kitchen just as I finished the last sip of my coffee. "Dude, you really need to get some," he starts laughing.

"Okay, that was completely uncalled for," I burst out laughing.

"Actually, it was," he shakes his head and I stay silent, waiting for an explanation. He points at the stereo, which only makes me more confused. Shinee? "The song's about sex."

I blink, again and again. "Um... it's really not."

"Yes it is," he laughs.

"Kook, it's really not."

"Listen to it."

Even though I know the song by heart, I roll my eyes and focus on the lyrics for a second. Line after line, as much as I hate to admit it, I kind of see Kook's point.

I feel that you've become sensitive... The soft touch... And endless senses, tonight is the night...

Such a beautiful view... Show me more, the next view... Such a beautiful view...

Fuck, he has a point. "They said it's not about sex," I hold onto my last lifeline, knowing damn well that not even SM do that.

"Aha," Jungkook nods, smirking my way. "And what do you expect them to do, go on national television and proclaim it's about bumping uglies?"

"So, what do you want to do today?"

He notices the way I change the subject and he doesn't hide it. His smirk is even wider but probably because he doesn't want to ruin our friendship, he plays along. "Let's watch some movies?"

I was hoping he'd want to go outside or something but whatever he says, goes. If he wants to stay locked up, than that's what we're doing.

....

"Do you miss alcohol?" I ask as I finish my second beer from the night. Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock are about 5 minutes away from confessing their undying love for each other and I am not nearly drunk enough to handle that. I thought it was safe to go down the rom-com road: I'm not exactly crying myself to sleep every night, am I? And while my thoughts didn't take me back to a certain someone I'd rather not think of, they did guide me down the 'love sucks' road.

"Not really," he shakes his head, leaning his head back down on my shoulder and facing the screen again, leaving me to frown down at him. "I do remember when I first had a beer. How old were you?"

"I think I was... 14," I try to remember. "I don't remember when it happened; I remember where I was and who I was with. It was always the four of them and me tagging along. What about you?"

"I was 14 too," he chuckles, still starting at the screen as he talks. Again, eyes wrinkled and nose scrunched, showing me that this memory really means a lot to him. It's not every day that you see people who smile with their entire face. He is literally beaming. "My brother decided to corrupt me when our folks went on some... anniversary trip or something."

"On a scale from 1 to 10, how much did you want to die the next day?" I laugh.

"1, actually," he chuckles, finally moving his eyes away from the screen. And although I would never say this out loud, especially not to him, a little part of me died when he smiled up at me and looked up with that eye smile. It's already bad enough that he knows he's cute. He really doesn't need my confirmation. "I never was a lightweight. And my bro only let me have one."

"Smart. I didn't have a big bro to guide my through that shit but I guess Yoongi and Hoseok count."

"Shorty is younger and Namjoon is... well, Namjoon?" Jungkook asks.

"Pretty much," I sigh, sliding further down the sofa and my movement makes him move too. His head ends up on my thigh and he doesn't bother moving; he just turns around to look at me. "And you really should start calling him Jimin. But enough about that. I want to hear about your brother."

"Nothing much to share," he reaches for my hand, only to realize that I'm still holding a beer bottle; he sighs and reaches for my other hand, linking our fingers and letting them fall on his chest. "He was just a regular older brother. He thought it was his duty to teach me. And thank god for that."

"What, you think you would have been a troubled teen without brotherly guidance?" I laugh.

"Nah, I was a good kid," he shakes his head. "I studied IT after all, you know I'm smart by default," I roll my eyes at his comment and I know that's the reason his entire body starts shaking with laughter. "I was a good kid but you know, those are the things you need to be taught. And who better than a big bro?"

"Do you ever go and see him?" I ask. I have to know, even if that might kill the mood of the whole night. "I know you don't go to the hospital but do you ever visit him or your folks?" I ask.

Much to my surprise, he doesn't look away from me and he doesn't change the subject. "I used to do that a lot before," he admits. He never used the phrase 'a lot' before, this is new information. "But then it became too difficult and I would only check in on them every now and then. Since you showed up, I went only once," he tells me.

"No, don't tell me that," I shake my head, watching as his small smile turns into a look of confusion. "I don't want to keep you from others. You don't need to be glued to me if you have other-"

"No, no, no," he jumps up from my lap and turns to face me, giving me a stern look while still holding onto my hand. "I did not mean it like that JJ. What I tried to say is that I would rather be positive than negative and you are the source of positive. I'm not going away from my source of positivity."

Damn. Who comes up with words like that? "If you think-"

"JJ, shut up," he interrupts me again, still not smiling. "You're not keeping me away from anything or anyone. I'd just... rather be with you."

There are beautiful words and there are beautiful words.

How many times did Namjoon tell me he loved me? Millions, for sure. Hell, it's countless. And he meant it. Towards the end it might have been a repetitive lie but once it was the truth and I heard it.

But to have someone tell me they'd pick me over anyone else? That they are very literally choosing me over everyone else?

You don't hear that shit every day.

I'm well aware I'm literally the only person that can actually hear him but I have a feeling that's not the only reason he wants to stay. I think he wants to stay simply because he really wants to pick me over everything else, no reason needed. And that is... quite something.

And to make it even worse... I feel exactly the same.

"It's pretty much the same for me, Kook."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not here because I'm bored or because I have no one else to hang out with," I shake my head. "I'm here because I want to be here. It's a choice, not a circumstance."

"You should say shit like that more often," he chuckles and I roll my eyes, looking away from him. My eyes go down to our hands and his thumb that is circling my skin, barely touching it.

"I'm not," I start, only to be interrupted by the phone ringing. I reach for it over Jungkook, frowning when I see the ID.

"Who is it?" he asks, noticing my reaction.

"My mom."

"You barely even talk to your parents."

Of course he noticed, he lives with me.

"I know, that's what worries me."

....

Guys, I have a weird feeling of not communicating enough with you and I don't like it :/

It feels weird but somehow I rarely write the AN. Dunno why.

Just know that I love writing for you and I love you. Thank you for reading and supporting the story.

If you want to say something or ask a question about the story, me, the weather in Serbia, hit me – I want to talk if you want to talk too. Imagine a heart eyes emoji here.