XXXVI

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ᴛʜɪʀᴅ ᴘᴏᴠ

𝘐𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘓𝘰𝘷𝘦

♛♛♛

For the past two weeks, Hazel had been waking up with a smile. The sun would shine brightly through the sheer white curtains, the smell of some sort of breakfast would be lingering in the air, and some mornings she would feel the touch of another lingering along her flesh.

But not this morning.

This morning was filled with rain clouds, darkening the room and still making it look like it was night. Hazel didn't have a smile, she had a face that resembled one who'd been crying all night long and had gotten an hour's sleep.

And there was no Julius beside her. Not this time.

She slowly strolled into the bathroom, not bothering to change or shower but washing her face and brushing her teeth instead.

All night Hazel had cried, but she also was thinking. She was thinking way too much.

There was no denying that she was in love inevitably with Julius. She loved him way too much.

Had he loved her? She didn't know. It seemed after everything that happened, the lies, the murder, she didn't know what to believe.

Understandably, Hazel figured out he was part of a Mafia, maybe the leader. Trace and Gracie were part of it also, all the signs she blindly didn't see now clear in her vision. Percy was another one. He was working for Julius too.

She felt stupid under their eyes. They all knew and she had no clue.

She should've known when meeting him for the first time. He was inside the hotspot for all criminal activity. But Hazel didn't think, she was blinded by the purity he gave her, he still gave her.

Hazel peered in the mirror, blood had drained from her cheeks, leaving her pallid as a ghost. Her hair was a tangle of knots. Her eyes were dull, with heavy circles beneath her bottom lashes and scarlet around the corners of her eyes.

She looked like a dead person. Ironically.

Moving out of the bathroom, she kept her head down as she went to slip her cosey slippers on. But then stopped, feeling a presence.

Julius was in the room, in the threshold to be exact.

Hazel looked up instantly, her breath catching in her throat.

For some reason, the sight of him made her jump inside. Not only was her night filled with no sleep because of him, but also because Hazel was dreading saying goodbye.

Her feelings were clearly all over the place.

"I'm leaving." He says this with a cold expression on his face and a tense body. She took a deep breath and gently nodded her head.

"I have people who will restock everything for you, daily. So, don't worry about that." He mentions, taking a step forward into the room.

She nods again slowly and avoids eye contact.

He takes another step forward and Hazel's heartbeat increases.

"I know you want time, but, could you at least..." He sighs, trailing off and she briefly caught the movement of his hand running through his hair, Hazel's heart ached now.

It was Hazel's turn to sigh, she shifted awkwardly on her feet and looked up from her covered feet.

Her mouth parted slightly as she realised Julius was remarkably identical to her in appearance. His hair was a mess, yet it still looked good on him, the polar opposite of Hazel.

His eyes were practically half-closed, hooded down. The grey in them was dull, cold and lifeless.

Impossibly, she felt her eyes watering again. She didn't like him like this, she didn't like any of this.

But Hazel let everything that happened last night take a chokehold on her. She let her mind take control instead of her heart, easily distributing the fact that Julius would never, ever hurt her and that his job was purely what it was.

As their eyes now looked into each other's, Julius' hand twitched at his side to bring it up to her cheek and rid of the silent tears.

"I wouldn't ever hurt you, never." He shook his head, taking another step forward.

"I know you wouldn't," She folds her arms over her stomach, sniffling as her sleeve goes to wipe the tears. "It's just that you hurt others, Julius."

His jaw clenched, ticking once.

"I hurt bad people, baby." He tilts his head to meet her gaze that shied away from him. "I was born into this, what my uncle had moved onto me. Why do you think he was torturing me for all those years?"

She gasps and pulls her hand over her mouth, shock plastered onto her expression. "Your uncle did that all to you because..."

He hums and pierces his gaze into her own.

"I'll tell you more only when you are ready."

She looks away from his intense gaze, peering down at his shoes instead.

"Is this what you meant when you said to not move away if anything happened."

He nods once, watching her shift uncomfortably again. Surprising both herself and Julius, she looks up into his eyes willingly and parts her lips.

"I forgive you, Julius." She says without a smile. Instead, she lets another tear fall. "But I just need time."

Like a blow to the face, he lets his head fall back to the roof as he inhales a breath. Hazel bites her bottom lip to contain any more tears, her words hurting her own heart too.

"That's okay," He says in a whisper, his face morphing into a cold, cold look.

In a fast motion, she felt herself regret every word that was said. She does forgive him, she does need more time, but god she hated seeing him like this. With her specifically.

He takes a step back, his gaze never falling from hers.

"Call me if you need anything."

Hazel's heart constricted and she took a small step closer, which she quickly regretted when she saw his eyes darken.

"Julius," She whispers as she opens her arms an inch. His glance shifts from her to her arms then returns to her with a sharp stare.

But aside from the hard exterior, he still steps forward and allows her to hug him.

Still, her hug was different. Light and uncomfortable, though she still kept her warm cheek against his chest.

His arms were light around her waist, not wanting to make her uncomfortable with the embrace.

After some seconds, sniffles were heard from the woman, a longing squeeze of her eyes and she fisted her hands against his back.

"I'm sorry." She whispers ever so softly, moving away from his chest and exposing her teary expression.

He softened his expression by a second, a look of hurt flashed across his eyes before it returned darkly.

"Have a safe trip, Julius. Text me so I know that you landed safely."

Amongst the cruel truth with Julius, her care for him never stopped and she doesn't think it will.

His jaw clenched and his body tensed as if impacted by the words to a new normal. Instead of nodding or speaking anything, he gazed at her once more and then turned around.

Hazel stood there watching as he crossed the threshold, his back going down the corridor and stairs, four men in suits waiting for him at the bottom.

Every movement she watched with precise intensity as if debating to stop him and tell him how much she loved him, or to stop him and tell him to never come back.

Hazel was caught in between what was right and wrong. Julius murdered people for a living. But her love for him was still madly decrypting through her veins, her heart just couldn't let him go, no matter how much she tried.

As so, her mind took control again and didn't chase after him as he left, never looking back once.

♛♛♛

At the front door stood not only two women, but a male as well.

Trace and Gracie, plus Percy.

It hadn't been 24 hours yet since he left, though it felt like it had been nearly a week.

And now here we're the other three people she trusted.

"We're so, so sorry Hazel." Trace'aline held a boutique of flowers in her palms, holding them out to the stunned, tired woman.

Hazel shifted awkwardly, not taking the gesture of flowers as she became incredibly uncomfortable. Uncomfortable with the fact they were here, but also because of the way her heart warmed seeing the flowers they brought her.

It seemed that the only other few people she loved in her life had also been keeping secrets from her. Such as being a part of Julius' Mafia.

"Can we come inside? Explain?" Gracie grins regretfully, her genuine eyes causing Hazel to shift to the side and allow them to enter.

Percy was the last to enter, his green eyes scanning Hazel's miserable form.

"Are you sure she's comfortable with this?" He says to the other two women, without taking his gaze away from her.

They snap their heads around, looking to Percy then over to Hazel. Trace shrugs and Gracie bites her bottom lip, nervously.

"Haze?"

Hazel shuts the front door, breathing inwardly as she faces them.

"Yes, it's fine." She manages to say.

They nod slowly in response, Hazel begins to walk forward and lead them into the living room where she was currently.

She plops down onto the couch, curling her body up onto the seat and watches the three sit down.

Percy sits beside Hazel, while the other two take the closest loveseat and sit together.

The depth of the situation fell upon all four peers. Hazel was the one that felt the absolute most.

"Thank you for the flowers," She says in a mumble, placing them down gently on the glass coffee table.

The girls nod, as does Percy whose still studying her every move and expression.

"Hazel, we kept this from you because we didn't want to hurt you. Our friendship means more than to let it get ruined by the job we do."

Hazel's eyes lower down to her hands as Gracie talks, her words meant more to her than what she was showing.

"She's right, Haze. Part of our job is to keep what we do hidden, though I know it's different with you and the situation, we were only protecting you." Trace presses on further.

She sinks further into the seat, her bottom lip currently being attacked by her teeth as she thinks and thinks.

"I understand." Hazel says, looking up as she glances between girls'. "It's just hard to not think of everything that we did together and all that time, that secret was just kept behind me. It just feels as if everything was a lie."

Both girls frown but also pose a look of understanding, though they were trying not to push Julius under the bus and say that he wouldn't have allowed them to say anything even if it wasn't breaking any of the rules.

"Could you give us another chance? We all promise to never let this happen again, and to be the best possible friend."

Her heart was beating erratically, she could hear the voice in her head telling her no but her heart spoke louder.

"Okay," She replies softly, immediately making both girls gasp.

Trace was the first to squish her into an unbearable hug. "Thank you, baby. I promise you won't regret it,"

Hazel smiles ever so lightly, one of her smiles that Julius never liked–the fake ones.

Gracie hugged her lightly, treading much more carefully than Trace.

As they pulled away, Gracie looks at Hazel rather intensely, as if she were to announce the most important news ever.

"If you're ever uncomfortable around us or we make you uncomfortable, let us know and we'll leave."

She nods slowly, knowing that it was unlikely to happen since she was most comfortable around them nearly as much as she was with Julius.

"Now, what would you like to know." Trace grins and takes a seat back next to Gracie.

Percy suddenly clears his throat, trailing all eyes towards him.

"Shouldn't we say anything too in-depth," He says as he gives both women a look of warning.

They look at each other, speaking telepathically, and then turns back to Percy.

"We won't say anything Julius would want to tell her himself, we'll only keep it light and on the basics?"

He nods in agreement, reclining back in his chair comfortably.

"Tell us what you want to know, Hazel." He now speaks to her, Hazel who was still stunned.

She swallows and brings her knees back to her chin again, glancing back and forth between the friends. "Did you plan on meeting me that night? Or was everything a lie and ordered by Julius?"

All three of them promptly shook their heads, which gave Hazel a sense of relief and satisfaction in knowing that their friendship was somewhat genuine. Which brought her closer to forgiveness.

"Nothing was planned, Hazel. It all happened to just be a coincidence." Trace smiles lightly at her, her words lifting the mood a bit.

"And it is a small town," Gracie mentions too.

She slowly releases her legs and crosses them underneath her, nodding. Hazel begins to mentally add things up, but not before asking a few more questions.

"What is this...job specifically? Is Julius the..."

All three nod, Percy now the one to speak.

"Julius sends us three on missions around the world, most involving money or shipments for the Mafia,"

"Some of our work entails risky situations involving other dangerous people from all over the world—

"Dangerous?" Hazel cuts in, frowning with concern.

Percy sighs and nods his head. "Yeah, shootings, fights, all of that shit."

Hazel becomes abnormally pale, but she is complacent with knowing the information. She knew she wouldn't be able to handle it, but she felt compelled to find out. To make her feel less in the dark about things.

"So, Julius is the leader in all of this? The boss?" Hazel quirks her brows up in questioning, her question lingering in the air like intoxicating fuel.

"Yes. Julius is the leader of one of the most powerful Mafia's in today's history."

And then again, her heart falls to her feet. She already knew the answer, but hearing those words and the simple "most powerful" and "in history" surely placed her definite resolution to shame.

Not only was Julius a leader, but he also owned a Mafia that was placed as the most powerful and largest Mafia in a history book, which surely declared that Julius was more than the powerful man Hazel already knew he was.

Gulping, Hazel takes it in. The words and feelings, she absorbs it all like honey.

"Okay...and what about those 'businesses' he said you all were part of? Was that real?"

"Yes, Julius is the CEO of many companies and enterprises around the world. Owning restaurants, hotels, and many other facilities. It wasn't a lie, it was just something we use to hide our other job."

Gracie was the one who spoke, specifying that yet another thing that was a lie, wasn't.

Hazel gazed about the living room as if looking for something that had gone missing. But everything remained the same.

"I think that's all I've got for now," She sighs, reaching for the boutique of flowers and placing them to her nose.

"How are you feeling?" Trace sits forward with her forearms on her thighs, her hands under her chin as she peers up at the woman.

She shrugs wholeheartedly and looks into her eyes as she speaks. "I'm not sure,"

"I do understand why you had to lie to me, and I forgive you all for that. But it's just..." She looks over her shoulder, toward the staircase. "I'm not sure if I can accept the fact that you all kill people."

"Bad people," Gracie adds.

"Fucked up people." Percy also adds.

Not innocent people, but people that do bad things, was who they kill. Yes, in a messed up way that eased Hazel's panic, but nevertheless, they were still taking lives.

It was going to take her some time, being friends with them would have to mean she wouldn't hear about all of this, otherwise, it was just going to make her sick, physically and mentally.

"I think the only way I'd be able to do this till I accepted it would be if we didn't mention it. Sort of how it was before with all of us..." Hazel got up from the couch and walked around the sofas, carrying her flowers into another room, the others following.

As Hazel begins to fill a glass vase with water, her eyes solely only on the jug, she speaks unsurely again.

"Is that okay with you all?"

"We're happy to do that, Hazel. Whatever you're comfortable with." She hears Gracie say from her side.

She takes the vase with both hands, slowly turning to place it onto the table.

Placing each delicate flower inside, Hazel's eyes linger on the white rose. It wasn't red, and Hazel took that as a sign.

"Okay," She breathes slowly, in and out. She turned and faces the three with the vase in both hands. "Back to before?"

Both women grin happily, the male smiling only faintly. "Back to before." They say in unison.

Hazel places the vase down, her lips ever so slowly curling into a warm smile.

"You guys want a hot chocolate?"

Within minutes, the odd group of friends talked amongst themselves as if nothing had gone wrong. And all that had happened the night before wasn't mentioned once, neither was anything related to it.

Hazel even found herself laughing truthfully at one point, and maybe even her mind drifted away from the traumatic experience too.

But it still wasn't forgotten.

It had only been less than a day, she was expecting a month or so until the last inch of the damage had passed.

But when Julius came to mind, all she could think about was the expression he had when he left. All the emotion he had poured out to her, the pain he also experienced as well as her.

She hated to say it, but she think that hurt more than the image of him murdering a person in front of her did.

Hazel felt bad. She felt so horrible that she was willing to leave the house as all it does was remind her of him and her. Every laugh and tear, song and kiss. His smell and clothes lingered all over her and her room, the house—everything.

But as the night grew cold and her bed grew colder, her eyes still wide awake with sleep that didn't want to fall, she realised that she was near to nothing without him. And as hopeless as that sounds, she simply couldn't bear to be without him, no matter the damage he'd done.

And she realises this just in the depths of her bed because if she was ever going to leave him and her heart with him, she would have done so already.

Her heart ached for him, but it was too late now. She had already made her decision and she just prayed that Julius didn't hate her after this.

She can't leave the home either; there's too much of him in the home that she cherishes, she obliviously fed off of the love around it.

And she realised one other thing.

Julius had undeniably stolen her heart and soul, owning them as his.

And Hazel was inevitably okay with that.


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