......

It's okay

...

We just have to endure the pain.

..

...

It's been a long time since I've had the injection. I ran my hand through my cold back, and I could feel every single scar that was on it. It hurt, but I'm used to it. How come I'm still alive? Whatever, there wasn't anything to live for anyway. I can't wait to say hi to my friend, death. I've been waiting for him for a long time, but he hasn't come yet. I just hope he'll be here soon.

I stood up and made my way to the prison bars. I slid my hand on the rusty bars that have been keeping me locked inside for god knows how long. I sighed. I don't even know what day or month, or even what year it is. I'm lost. I don't even have someone by my side. I just have to go through all this alone.

So much pain. So much sorrow. It's a normal thing for me now. I remember when I used to wonder when all this misery would end. When I had high hopes for something that would never happen. How pathetic.

I guess God has given me this life that I deserve. Maybe this is how I should live. Maybe this is my fate.

Every day that passes feels like an endless suffering. I have so many questions that I know I'll never get an answer to. Sometimes I wonder how my past life has been. The life I had before ending up in a place like this. Was I happy?

The word sent shivers down my spine. I'm not used to this word. I'm completely unfamiliar with this feeling. I feel like I should be sad thinking about this, but I don't feel anything at all. I don't even remember how happiness felt like.

All I can do is wish...

Wish for all this to end.

Wish to be the old person I was.

The old person I can't remember...

..........

............

..

...

...

"I'm sorry"

.....

.......

I have voices in my head that are unknown. I can't identify any of the voices. I feel like I've heard some of the voices in real life before. I'm just not sure.

Maybe I'm just imagining things.

But something inside me is convincing me that I've heard these voices somewhere.

Somewhere.....in the past.

I feel so frustrated. My head is hurting. I want to get out. I want to break free. I want to get rid of all these voices in my head. I had lost my self-control because of them. There is no hope left. I can no longer be the person I want to be. So I ask myself...

"Who's Yoo Jeongyeon?"

"She's dead, I killed her"

........

....

..

I can't even recognize myself.

....

........

......

....

.......

........

"Jeongyeon"

....

......

...

"Please"

.........

..

"Save"

...

.....

.........

These words keep repeating in my head. I never understood what these words meant. I want them to stop, but they keep coming back. I feel trapped. I feel trapped in all this confusion. I don't know what to do anymore.

..........

......

.......

....

"Help me"

......

.......

...

Whenever I shout for help, the only one who replies is the silence.

.......

.........

....

..................

.......

...

...

"The fourth experiment begins now"

.......

..........

"Please step out"

.......

....

..

.

"Yoo Jeongyeon"

I immediately opened my eyes as soon as I heard my name. I ruffled my hair lazily while letting my eyes examine my surroundings. I was in the same area as I was before when I did my experiments. Surprisingly, I wasn't handcuffed this time. Even the collar was gone. I was completely free. 

What is this?

This freedom is so uncertain that it scares me. 

I was thrown in the midst of confusion that I had no idea what to do. Then suddenly, every door in this room opened and I saw the same blindfolded people entering. I noticed that there were three empty entrances where there used to be people entering. I was surrounded by five blindfolded people that were standing in each of their entrance inside the room. I suddenly felt nervous.

Everything was silent. The only thing I could hear was my thoughts. 

Then suddenly, one of the people moved and stepped a little forward. I couldn't really read the expression on the person's face, but I could sense that something wrong was about to happen. Then suddenly, the person got pushed to the ground and then landed in front of me. My head immediately started to hurt.

"Jeongyeon"

.......

........

"Please"

.......

........

...........

"Save"

....

......

........

Why is this happening again?

I fell down on my knees. The pain is back. I felt like I was being stabbed endlessly. My heart was beating so fast that it matched the speed of my breathing. Millions of unknown things were rushing through my body. Suddenly, I started sweating and shivering. My vision became unclear.

Then suddenly, I felt a touch on my hand.

I looked up and saw the blindfolded person holding my hand. Then the person slowly took off the blindfold revealing a familiar face. I looked shockingly into the person's eyes without stopping to breath violently. I never expected this to happen. I felt like it somehow wasn't right. I completely ignored the world around me. I was too focused on the person's face. But then...

Everything went black.

.........

"I'm sorry"

.....

......

...

I was suddenly thrown into darkness. I couldn't feel my body. I couldn't remember what happened.

But I swear I remembered something unusual.

I remember an emotion on that person's face.

An emotion that was screaming for help, but was thankful at the same time.

.......

........

....

......

........

I was suddenly awake. Awake from a weird dream.

I was dreaming about holding a person's hand and a lot of weird stuff. I couldn't exactly remember anything. Whatever, it was probably just a stupid dream that crossed my mind while I slept. I rubbed my eyes and stood up from my bed. I was still in the same cell. I guess nothing had changed.

I was heading over to the bathroom when I suddenly noticed something on the wall. My heart froze.

No.

This can't be real.

This wasn't a dream.

The words.

The answer has been in front of me the whole time.

It all made sense now.

"Jeongyeon"

.......

........

"Please"

.......

........

...........

"Save"

....

......

........

"her"

~To be continued in Joyful suffering book 2~

A/N:

This author decided to be No Jam and NOT give y'all the answers you were craving for ;)

Stay tuned for book 2 if you want to know the story behind all this that Jeongyeon is experiencing 👀

Sorry if there are any typos and grammatical errors.

See you in book 2.

Bye~