Author's Note: This chapter is dedicated to the lovely Luce2young who wrote a lovely review in charredsmoke 's 'Best BoyxBoy Books On Wattpad' book.

In other news, you may or may not know that I am major 5sos fan and guess who got soundcheck!!!!!!!!! Sorry, I'm still internally freaking out about it

Jonah has been strangely absent today. Daniel is pretty sure that Jonah isn't avoiding him; it's just that it's one of those days where their paths never really cross through no fault of their own. Jonah would usually wait for Daniel to arrive, but his bus was running late and so he didn't arrive until after the bell, Daniel missed English to go talk to the head teacher about the 'incident' with Harry and a rush to finish a geography essay meant that Jonah skipped on eating lunch with them.

Daniel feels slightly worried about how much he missed spending time with Jonah, it's not like he's dependent on him after all. Daniel happily went through nearly seventeen years of his life without spending time with Jonah Clarke, and yet now he can't even seem to survive a day.

"Daniel!"

The sound of Jonah's voice is unmistakable and Daniel hurries to hide the smile that forms on his face when he hears it.

"Danny-Boy! Wait up!"

Daniel quickly pulls to a stop and turns around slowly before waiting for Jonah to join him. The boy is breathless, having run down the corridor, but there's still a kilowatt smile on his face and he still directs it straight at Daniel.

"What do you want?" Daniel asks.

He tries to take the hostility out of his tone, it's not like he's pissed at Jonah. Daniel has just had a rough day, and he really just wants to get out of this hellhole disguised as a school.

"I was in the library and I found this for you," Jonah says, placing a book in Daniel's already very full hands.

"Thanks," Daniel replies, sounding unsure.

"Well I didn't find it for you, it's more that I found it and then I thought of you."

"Thanks," Daniel repeats, his tone no more confident than it was before.

"What do you think?" Jonah asks.

"'How To Tame Your Inner Peacock,'" Daniel reads, "it sounds, uhm, well, interesting, I guess."

"It's about increasing your self confidence," Jonah explains, "it was probably a stupid idea but I just thought maybe it could help, maybe not, I honestly don't know what I was thinking, my brain is fried, all I can think about right now are tombolos and stuff."

Daniel nods as if he understands, and offers Jonah a genuine smile.

"It sounds like a great read," he says trying to inject enthusiasm into his words, "I'll start it tonight."

"You don't have to," Jonah says, attempting to tug the book back out of Daniel's hands.

"But what if I want to?" Daniel challenges.

"Then you're an idiot," Jonah mutters under his breath but his efforts to take the book from Daniel stop and the pair begin to walk down the corridor.

"So did you miss me today?" Daniel asks teasingly.

He expects a flippant answer or a joke in reply; instead Jonah turns to him with a small smile and a confused expression on his face.

"Yeah," Jonah says, "I kind of did."

Daniel's taken aback by Jonah's honest response but he recovers quickly.

"Well of course you did," Daniel replies, "I mean how could you not miss my dazzling personality?"

"Maybe you don't need this book," Jonah tells Daniel teasingly, "you seem to be plenty confident already."

"I guess so," Daniel says a hint of uncertainty in his tone.

"But I think you should take it just in case," Jonah suggests, "I mean you never know when a lack of confidence might strike."

"Indeed."

"Jonah!" The sounds of Jonah's voice being called steals the two boys' attention.

Daniel can see Ruth leaning out of her car window, waving her arm frantically in their direction.

"Shit," Jonah curses, "I gotta go, dentist appointment."

With that he quickly pats Daniel awkwardly on the back before running down the front steps towards where Ruth is waiting leaving Daniel to make his own way out of the school and onto his bus.

The house is silent when Daniel gets home. Throwing his school bag on the table, Daniel grabs a snack out of the cupboard before looking around the room in defeat. He knows he has to do his homework, but that sure as hell doesn't mean that he wants to.

It's not until five o'clock that Daniel finally gets a chance to rest. His homework completed everything else sorted out. He knows he should relax but Daniel's mind is refusing to shut down, and there's only one way he knows how to stop it from buzzing.

Daniel pulls the book out of his bag, still uncertain. It's three hundred pages long and Daniel cannot see how the book can be anything but patronising, he's been offered countless self-help books in the past, and so far nothing has made him feel any better, in fact, the only help they seem to have provided is as kindling.

He opens it up none the less and begins to read. At first he finds himself distanced from the text, there's still a part of his brain telling him that nothing in this book is going to be useful but there's another part of him that makes him read on. Past the long winded introduction and onto the first chapter's spiel about locating the peacock inside of you. Daniel rolls his eyes several times, but somehow, it seems to make sense. Sort of.

In fact Daniel becomes so engrossed that he nearly doesn't hear his Mum when she shouts him for tea, and as soon as he's done eating he shoots back upstairs and picks up the book once again. Daniel's not sure what it is that he likes so much about this book, perhaps it's because the author just seems to understand how Daniel feels. That his lack of self confidence isn't a choice but rather just a side effect of how his life has worked out. Daniel would love to be arrogant, but there's something holding him back.

And maybe this book is the key to stopping that.

xxx

It's one in the morning when Jonah hears his phone vibrating on the bedside table beside him.

Jonah has been in bed for a good few hours, he's always been the sort of person that's early to bed and early to rise, and so he's not entirely appreciative of being woken up by the annoying sound, although his grumpiness dims slightly when he sees Daniel's name displayed upon the screen.

"Hey," Jonah whispers into the phone.

"Hi."

"It's one in the morning Daniel."

"I know and I'm really sorry Jonah, it's just I finished the book and I don't know, I guess I just wanted to tell you."

"Oh," Jonah says, "how the heck have you finished it already?"

"Some people do this thing called reading on a regular basis," Daniel replies teasingly, "you should try it sometime."

"I'll have you know that I read," Jonah tells Daniel, "I just thought you weren't interested that's all."

"Well I wasn't," Daniel admits, "but I got surprisingly into it."

"So tell me, did you manage to tame your inner peacock?"

"I can tell you're laughing."

"It just seems like a strange analogy."

"It's actually not," Daniel says defensively, "like if you think about it peacocks are so pretty and they strut around all cocky."

"I think you're the first person I've ever heard describe a peacock as cocky."

"Well it's true!"

"I guess so," Jonah agrees begrudgingly, "and could make an excellent pun."

"Anyway the book basically says that you have to find that part of yourself that loves yourself and bring it to the surface, turn it into something that other people can see. So rather than hiding how confident you are you should, uhm, flaunt it I guess."

All of Daniel's words come out in a long stream that blurs into one big mess. Jonah notices the excitement in his tone and smiles, Jonah's glad that he got the book. He had been unsure, had argued back and forth with himself over whether to give it to Daniel but now Jonah is definitely glad that he went through with it now, the sound of Daniel's voice makes it so worth it.

"So have you tamed your peacock?"

"I think I'm getting there. Bruno wasn't exactly co-operative at first but we're starting to get along," Daniel replies.

"Are you kidding me Danny-Boy? You named your peacock Bruno?"

"He's fabulous."

Jonah almost feels as if he can hear Daniel's smile through the phone and it makes a grin creep onto his own face too.

"I'm sure he is, so tell me, what do you love about yourself?"

"I don't think I'm quite at that stage, it's more, what things do I tolerate about myself? But hey, baby steps, right?"

"Right." Jonah says although he's not quite sure.

"Anyway, how's your life going?"

"Well to be honest not much has changed since you saw me ten hours ago. Although I have officially eaten more doughnuts than is perhaps healthy."

"How many doughnuts?" Daniel asks.

Jonah can hear a slight sense of exasperation in his tone, as if Daniel expects Jonah to eat too many doughnuts for his own good, as if it pains Daniel to think about it.

"Only like six."

"Six?"

Daniel's tone is incredulous and the smile gracing Jonah's face grows wider. He nods, then realises that Daniel can't see him.

"Six," Jonah repeats proudly, "all by myself."

"You disgust me."

"Just because you want a doughnut too."

"You know the annoying thing is that you're right, now that you've mentioned them I'm seriously craving a doughnut right now."

"Jam?"

"Of course, I don't even know why they bother making any other flavours."

Jonah lets out a bark of laughter before replying. He has to remind himself to keep his voice down; his sister is asleep in the room next door after all.

"I'll bring you one in tomorrow."

"I'm surprised there are any left," Daniel says dryly.

"There nearly wasn't, you're lucky you called me before I went for my midnight snack."

"It's one in the morning Jonah."

"Danny-Boy, I think we all know that nobody actually eats their midnight snack at midnight, I think the term has just become synonymous with food that you eat at some point when you're supposed to be asleep."

Daniel makes a noise of affirmation before speaking.

"What have I told you about using long words before ten in the morning?"

"Technically it's always after ten o'clock in the morning," Jonah points out, "I mean you haven't actually been to sleep yet."

"And technically it's always before ten o'clock in the morning," Daniel says in reply, "so unless you want me to withdraw your long word privileges all together, I suggest you just go along with my rules."

"And why should I?"

"My house, my rules."

"Danny-Boy, I'm not even at your house."

"Yeah. But I am."

Jonah just sighs, that seems to convey all his emotions anyway.

"Whatever you say Danny-Boy," he tells Daniel, "no long words before ten o'clock, I promise."

"Pinky promise?"

"Pinky promise."

"So anything exciting to share?" Daniel asks.

Jonah yawns and he considers telling Daniel how tired he is, considers asking if he can just go to sleep. But he for some reason he doesn't want to, somehow talking to Daniel seems more important than sleep. And it's not just that Jonah enjoys talking to him - which he certainly does - but he gets the feeling that Daniel ahs called him for a reason other than to talk about the book. And as long as Daniel needs him, Jonah is always going to be there.

"Well Jade Rushley may or may not have finally given me her number."

Jonah does not miss the sharp intake of breath that suddenly comes from the other side of the phone and Jonah curses his own stupidity.

"Are you gonna call her and ask her out then?" Daniel asks.

"Nah," Jonah replies honestly, "I just don't think she's my type."

"I thought anything with nice tits was your type."

"Not anymore."

"My, my, my. Don't tell me Jonah Clarke's tastes are finally improving?" Daniel asks teasingly.

"Don't get your hopes up just yet," Jonah replies, "I still think she's pretty hot."

xxx

"So let me get this straight," Jonah says, "your favourite show is one about teenage boys swimming."

"Uh-huh."

"And it's not even live action, so it's not like your excuse can be that they look hot. They're cartoon."

"Well it's anime."

"You're weird," Jonah replies simply, "but hey, you like what you like."

"You should watch it," Daniel says, rubbing his eyes gently.

"What's it called?"

"Free," Daniel's reply is muffled by a yawn.

"And it's about swimming?"

"It's a sports anime."

"What the hell are you getting me into Danny-Boy?"

"I think you'll like it."

"You also thought I'd like pecan ice cream," Jonah says teasingly.

The reminder is enough to make Daniel's stomach drop and he has to bite his tongue to stop himself from apologising repeatedly yet again, he's pretty sure Jonah is sick of hearing him say sorry by now.

"You're never going to let me forget that, are you?"

"Well no, because if you forget then you might nearly kill me again."

Daniel remains silent for a few moments before giving in.

"Sorry," he says quietly.

"I've told you, you don't have to apologise anymore," Jonah tells Daniel.

"I know, but I still feel like I have to."

For a moment Jonah doesn't reply, and then Daniel can hear his sigh through the phone.

"You need to stop apologising for things that aren't your fault," Jonah says and Daniel gets the feeling that Jonah isn't just talking about the ice cream incident, "nobody blames you."

"I still feel bad."

"Well stop. I bet your inner peacock doesn't feel bad about that."

Daniel forces himself to let out a laugh but he doesn't mean it and he can tell that that fact is obvious.

"Seriously Daniel," Jonah says, "you're an amazing person and you need to realise that. So stop blaming yourself for things that you have no control over, stop telling yourself that what my dickhead ex-friends say about you defines who you are and stop beating yourself up about the fact that you didn't know I had an allergy, there was no reason for you to know, I should have told you, so technically it's my fault. I'm over it, you should be too."

Daniel can sense that the conversation is straying into dangerous waters and into a place he really does not want to go. Daniel has noticed that recently Jonah has been trying to get Daniel to talk about his feelings more. Of course Jonah is not the first person to try, but he is the first person that Daniel has actually considered going along with. But not tonight, it's not the right time. Not that Daniel knows when that will ever be.

"Okay, okay," Daniel replies, desperate to deflect the attention away from him, "so you don't like coffee unless you're hung-over, you're desperately obsessed with music and you're a closet directioner. What else should I add to my list of Jonah Clarke facts?"

"I still find it weird that you have a list."

"Yeah right, you secretly love it, just admit it."

"You're right, I do, I'm too self-centred and I adore the fact that you have a list about me."

"Go on then," Daniel urges, "tell me more."

The line falls silent for a few moments before Jonah begins to speak. Daniel can picture Jonah thinking over the phone, head resting on his pillow and brow furrowed with thought. There's still a tiny part of Daniel that wishes he could be there with Jonah, but he squashes that thought and locks it away in the back of his mind.

"I can only click my fingers with my right hand, not with my left," Jonah begins, "I cried at Marley and Me, the only book series I've ever completed is Percy Jackson because I got bored halfway through the Goblet of Fire. I hate flies and if I could get rid of all bugs without disturbing ecosystems then I would. If I was a girl the first thing I'd do would be to hook up with someone to see how bad guys are in bed and if I was a Disney princess then I'd totally be Rapunzel from 'Tangled' because a frying pan is easily my favourite weapon. Is than enough for you?"

Jonah takes a deep breath when he's finished having not stopped the entire time he was talking.

"That's plenty," Daniel says, "but I was hoping for something more interesting. Like who do you fancy?"

"What are we?" Jonah asks. "Twelve?"

"I think you're avoiding the question," Daniel replies teasingly, "come on, who is it? Are you embarrassed to tell me?"

"I don't like anyone."

Daniel knows why his heart falters slightly and he hates himself for it. He's not entirely sure what he was expecting, it wasn't like Jonah was suddenly going to confess his undying love to him after all. But Daniel is still stupidly holding onto the hope that one day Jonah might discover that he likes him back. Daniel is pretty sure that it is never going to happen, that the kiss was nothing more than a fluke, but that doesn't stop him from holding onto the thin thread of hope that maybe not. That maybe Jonah is just taking longer than most to realise he likes someone, that maybe, against all odds, that someone could be Daniel.

Even Daniel knows that it's hopeless wishing for any of that. And so he closes his eyes, focuses his thoughts and tries not to let his emotions seep into his words.

"You sure?" He asks teasingly.

"Well Jade Rushley has been looking pretty good recently, I guess."

If Daniel's heart faltered slight before, he feels like it's been stabbed straight through now. He knows that none of this is Jonah's fault but Daniel still finds it difficult to find the right words to reply with.

"That's not what you said earlier."

"Well maybe I was in denial."

"Maybe you were."

xxx

The line has been silent for a few minutes now but Jonah doesn't want to put it down just yet.

Instead he simply listens to the sound of Daniel breathing down the phone, allows the rhythmic breaths to lull him into a nearly unconsciousness state; to the point where Jonah can see nothing but the dark behind his eyelids and can hear nothing but Daniel on the other side of the phone.

Jonah lies like that for a while and it's only when he opens his eyes briefly that he realises that Daniel and he have been on the phone for well over two hours. Jonah supposes that it's about time one of them ended the call but there's something keeping him tethered to the phone, something about spending time with Daniel - even if they're not talking or even in the same room - that Jonah likes. It's the simplicity, he realises, when he's with Daniel nothing ever seems complicated. Of course this is the precise reason why Jonah regrets the kiss, after all that seemed to do nothing but complicate things. But tonight seems like one of the first times since then where neither Daniel nor Jonah is skirting around the issue, instead it seems as if it never happened. And Jonah is pretty sure he likes it that way, although that's not to say that there's not still a small part of him that wants to do it again.

Jonah is ignoring that little voice though.

"Are you still awake?" Daniel asks.

It takes Jonah a few moments to reply, to realise that Daniel isn't right there beside him to see Jonah turn his