Jonah Clarke Is An Idiot

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Author's Note: Hola! Listen if you read the previous chapter, it has been rewritten to better represent an allergic reaction because I kinda screwed up but some of you were lovely enough to point that out (damn that always sounds sarcastic but I promise it's not) so you might want to go back and read it else some of this might not make it sense. It's large the second half :) Anyway I'm off to London to do maths so don't expect an update for a while. I want to know where you guys are from, I'm always interested to see where my readers are from cause it's weird to think that you're from all over the world! Anyway I hope you enjoy the latest chapter of JCING which is dedicated to 5hoursofautumn for correcting me :)


It's not until two days later that Daniel sees Jonah again.

"You weren't in yesterday. Are you okay?" Is the first thing Daniel asks when he lays eyes on Jonah.

Jonah rolls his eyes in response but Daniel is persistent and refuses to move until Jonah answers the question.

"Fine," Jonah replies, "My mum wanted me to stay at home yesterday so she could keep an eye on me. I mean I still had to beg her to let me come in today."

"Why did you want to come to school?" Daniel says, turning his nose up in disgust.

"To see your gorgeous face of course."

Jonah winks at Daniel and Daniel can feel his cheeks flush. Because Daniel still hasn't stopped thinking about the texts that Jonah sent last night, hasn't stopped trying to find some underlying meaning that means that Jonah isn't flirting with him. Perhaps Daniel is overreacting; perhaps all friends send each other texts alluding to wanting to try out sexual acts with each other. But somehow Daniel thinks maybe not.

"Are you coming or what?"

It is only then that Daniel realises he still hasn't moved and that Jonah is talking to him from halfway down the corridor with an impatient expression on his face as if Daniel exasperates him more than anything else.

"Yeah."

Daniel's mind seems to be all over the place this morning as his attention flits to the numerous couples making out in the middle of the corridor to the brightly coloured posters that are seemingly blue tacked to every single surface.

"So do you want to come round to mine tomorrow?" Jonah's voice brings Daniel out of his reverie.

"Do you want me to?"

"Of course."

"Why?"

"Cause I like spending time with you dickhead," Jonah sighs, and Daniel gets the feeling that he might be starting to get on Jonah's nerves.

"I meant is there a specific reason?"

"Well there's a match on we could watch together."

"Hell no, I'm not watching football, I actually have no idea what happens during those matches, all they do is kick the ball around."

"There'll be eye candy," Jonah pouts.

Daniel snorts at that. As if he could be bribed by something as petty as cute guys, does Jonah know nothing about him?

"Please Danny-Boy," Jonah says shuffling closer to him, "I really want to watch the match with you."

"Why?" Daniel asks.

"Because out of all my friends, you've got the best knowledge of balls."

Daniel would be tempted to hit Jonah for saying that but Jonah's voice has dropped to a level that Daniel can only just here and so instead of hitting the boy, Daniel moves closer to him.

"I don't think it's really the same," Daniel replies trying to keep his voice level.

"Are you trying to tell me that you're not good at handling balls?"

"I'm an expert at handling balls; I'm just not sure you're experienced enough for me to bother with."

"Ah, but maybe you can teach me."

Daniel feels his cheeks flush and has to remind himself that Jonah is not flirting with him; the pair are talking about football. Daniel reminds himself that Jonah Clarke is not gay, that Jonah is not interested and probably never will be.

"I don't think I'm really qualified for that," Daniel says, "besides, I'm not any good at football."

"Football," Jonah mutters, "cause that's what we were talking about."

"What?" Daniel asks in surprise, because he can't possibly have heard Jonah correctly,

"Doesn't matter," Jonah says, "so will you come round or not?"

"Will there be food?"

"Of course."

"What kind of food."

"Is food all you think about?" Jonah asks. "Because how the hell do you maintain your figure if it is?"

"Are you asking me for dieting tips?"

"I'm just saying that you seem to eat a lot and I have no idea where you put it."

Daniel doesn't know what comes over him, but he raises his eyebrows suggestively.

"Oh," Jonah says, "I see how it is. Although if we're going to get competitive about that then you're just setting yourself up to lose."

"Somebody's confident," Daniel comments.

"Well y'know, we've got changed for gym with the rest of the class for a few years now and I'm definitely looking like I'm in the lead."

"Are you saying you look at other guys' dicks whilst we're getting changed?"

"Well I don't look on purpose."

"Jonah!"

"What? Doesn't everybody."

"I never have," Daniel replies, "although that's probably because I'd be killed if I did."

"Yeah, it's weird that a straight guy can look at another guy's dick and it not be weird, and yet you're not allowed to."

"Shall I tell you what's weird, the straight boy's obsession with drawing penises on everything."

"That is weird," Jonah replies, "I mean I can only imagine what they would say if a girl started drawing tits on everything."

"I imagine the word lesbian would be mentioned."

"Probably."

The two descend into a comfortable silence as they think about the possibility before Daniel realises that his question still hasn't been answered.

"So what food will there be?" He asks.

"Chocolate, marshmallows, even pizza if you're lucky," Jonah tells him.

"That sounds like the unhealthiest meal ever - I'm in."

Jonah lets out a laugh at that and Jonah looks over at him. Daniel hadn't realised that their shoulders were brushing against each other but now it's all that he can think about. It's the lightest touch but it feels like Jonah's shoulder is exerting some great pressure. Does Jonah realise? Does he even care? Daniel isn't even sure why he does.

Daniel tries to clear his head of these thoughts. Tries to remind himself that he does not like Jonah Clarke, at least not in that way. But Daniel is quickly starting to realise that forcing himself to get rid of these feelings is not working. Because it's not like it's a switch that can be flicked one way or another, these are emotions that have developed over thousands of memories, emotions that have been a part of Daniel for so long that he's not sure who he'd be now if they'd never existed. And Daniel knows that the whole thing is dangerous, because there's a friendship at stake here, and so he tries to maintain a neutral expression and refuses to meet Jonah's eye.

"You okay there Daniel?"

"Peachy thanks."


xxx

Today is one of those days when Jonah wishes he had mind reading abilities, Daniel seems to have suddenly retreated back into his metaphorical shell and Jonah is desperate to know why.

Not that Jonah is totally all there today either. His mind keeps on straying back to the texts he sent yesterday and wondering how on earth he could possibly explain those to Daniel. "Look Daniel, I know I sent you flirty text messages and basically asked you to have sex with me but I didn't mean it, not that I don't want to have sex with you, just y'know, I like girls." Jonah can imagine how well that would go over.

"You okay there?"

Jonah returns from his thoughts to find Daniel staring at him with a concerned expression on his face, because apparently their friendship solely consists of them worrying about each other.

"Fine."

"Really, cause we've been in English for ten minutes now and you've spent the entirety of it staring out of the window like somebody's murdered your father and you're planning on seeking revenge. You're not are you?"

"My father is very much alive," Jonah assures Daniel, "but thanks for your concern."

"What are friends for?" Daniel replies.

Jonah plans on returning to his thoughts - because he really doesn't feel capable of concentrating today and he's pretty sure he can mooch notes off of Daniel later anyway – when he feels Daniel sit up straight next to him.

"What's wrong," Jonah asks, nudging Daniel lightly with his shoulder.

"Nothing?"

"You can't fool me Danny-Boy."

"Damn it," Daniel says lightly, "and here I was thinking I was doing a brilliant job."

"Newsflash, you're not," Jonah tells him teasingly, "so come on, what's up?"

"They're talking about us," Daniel explains, gesturing with his chin in the direction of where two girls are sat at a table in the corner giggling away.

"So?"

"They think you're cute."

"Well looks like they've got common sense then."

"They think I'm, quote, a greasy haired geek, unquote."

"Or maybe not," Jonah says, "is it bothering you?"

"Well y'know when someone suggests that I'm 'too ugly to be friends with Jonah Clarke' then yeah, my feelings are a little bit hurt," Daniel replies sarcastically.

"You know that they're wrong don't you?"

Daniel shrugs and turns his attention to the piece of paper in front of him that appears to be empty, maybe Jonah won't be getting those notes after all.

"Cause they're wrong," Jonah continues, "your hair isn't greasy, it's fabulous, and I'd run my hands through it cause it looks really soft if that wouldn't be so weird and if anything I'm not awesome enough to be friends with you."

"What the hell Jonah?" Daniel splutters, trying to keep his voice down. "How the hell are you not awesome enough to be friends with me?"

"Well I know nothing about videogames and you're funnier than me and I'm honestly jealous of your hair, seriously, what shampoo do you use?"

Jonah allows himself to crack a small smile when Daniel turns to look at him in disbelief.

"It's a secret," Daniel says.

Jonah is relieved to see that an easy grin has slipped onto the other boy's face too, and he nudges Daniel with his shoulder once again.

"And just so you know Danny-Boy, if I swung that way, you'd be the first to know," Jonah says, offering Daniel a sly wink.

Jonah is satisfied to see that Daniel's cheeks flush furiously.

"Don't let other people get you down," Jonah tells Daniel, "you gotta own your awesome and don't let anybody take it away. You're not what other people say you are, you're what you say you are. So you can be as awesome as you want, just as long as you don't let other people try to convince you otherwise."

"So are you saying ignore the haters?"

"Nah," Jonah replies, "I'm saying listen to the fans."

Daniel cracks a smile and Jonah decides then that his mission for the day is completed, not that he'd known that that was what he wanted to do when he woke up this morning but when Daniel smiles, Jonah just wants to make him smile again and again.

"Thanks," Daniel says simply.

"What for?"

"Not being a dick. There are a lot of people who'd say I was overreacting and just tell me to move on."

"You've been through a lot," Jonah says, and he can see Daniel wince, Jonah gets the impression that he usually avoids thinking about it, "and it's made you insecure, it would make anyone feel that way. And if it takes me reminding you how awesome you are on a regular basis to make you feel as good about yourself as you should then I'm not going to complain. I just want you to realise how amazing you are Danny-Boy, cause there aren't many people like you in the world, so embrace your uniqueness, cause it's what makes people remember you."

"You should be a motivational speaker or something," Daniel says teasingly.

Jonah just shakes his head.

"So are you okay now?" Jonah asks. "Or do I need to give you a list of one hundred things I love about you."

"Well I'm fine but you can rattle off that list anyway if you want to."

"Now, now, now Danny-Boy, don't be demanding," Jonah says, "it doesn't look good on you."

"What does look good on me then?" Daniel asks.

"A smile," Jonah replies without thinking, "oh god that sounded so cheesy and so creepy I'm really sorry."

Jonah is surprised to find that Daniel is staring at him with a massive grin on his face.

"S'okay," Daniel assures him, "I was beginning to think that you never suffered from word vomit anyway."

"Word vomit?"

"So you no foodgasm but not word vomit? What language do you even speak Jonah Clarke?"

"English."

"Really, cause I thought it was more like garbage," Daniel replies teasingly.

"Hey!"

"Sorry."

"And now I regret being nice to you."

"Please forgive me."

"No."

"Please."

Jonah looks over at Daniel who has now stuck out his bottom lip and is staring at Jonah wide eyes.

"Fine," Jonah huffs, "consider yourself forgiven."


xxx

Daniel grins eagerly when he gets a text from Jonah as he is entering his psychology class, he's also not surprised to find that Jonah has changed his contact name in Daniel's phone once again, that boy can't seem to make up his mind.


From: Clarke, Jonah Clarke

Do you and Isaac wanna go out to eat at lunch? I have somewhere in mind :)


Daniel quickly directs the question towards Isaac before typing out a reply.


To: Clarke, Jonah Clarke

I'd love too, Isaac says he'll pass, something about trying to impress Alice


From: Clarke, Jonah Clarke

Is she the blonde girl?


To: Clarke, Jonah Clarke

Yep, otherwise known as the one he's got to chance with :/


From: Clarke, Jonah Clarke

That's not very supportive


To: Clarke, Jonah Clarke

He's been trying for years, so far no progress just being an honest friend :(


From: Clarke, Jonah Clarke

Maybe we should set him up with someone


To: Clarke, Jonah Clarke

Like who?


From: Clarke, Jonah Clarke

Via?

Daniel briefly thinks back to Jonah's co-worker. All he remembers is a fiery personality and a sarcastic sense of humour. The complete opposite of Alice, but Isaac would definitely think she was hot.

To: Clarke, Jonah Clarke

She'd eat him alive


From: Clarke, Jonah Clarke

Maybe Isaac would be into that ;)

Daniel tries – and fails – to contain his laughter, causing Isaac to look at him in confusion, along with the rest of his psychology class. Daniel bites his lip, and tries to keep the volume down after that. Mr Roscoe is a pretty chill teacher, especially when the group are working on a project that Daniel happened to finish weeks ago, and so he won't mind Daniel being on his phone, what he might mind is Daniel disturbing the rest of the class, some of who are lagging very far behind.

"What are you laughing at?" Isaac whispers.

"Fancy going on a date?"

"You're really starting to make a habit of asking straight guys out," Isaac says teasingly, "and no offence Dan, but you're really not my type."

"Not with me."

"Then with who?"

"One of Jonah's co-workers."

"Why do you ask?"

"Jonah suggested it."

"Oh so that's how it is," Isaac jokes, "now that you two are acting like a loved-up couple you don't want me to feel like a third wheel so you're setting me up with random girls."

"Ha, ha, ha," Daniel replies sarcastically, "god Isaac you're so funny."

"Thanks," Isaac says, combining the word with a smile that suggests he actually thinks he is, "it always helps to have a back-up career."

"I think you might need a back-up career for your back-up career," Daniel tells him.

"You wound me Dan," Isaac replies, "but don't worry my debut album perfectly combines classical music with more modern grime beats."

"I have no idea what you just said."

"Neither do I really."

Isaac simply shrugs before turning his attention back to the work in front of him, leaving Daniel to entertain himself.

To: Clarke, Jonah Clarke

Isaac doesn't seem keen on the whole date thing at the moment but I'll keep on working him


From: Clarke, Jonah Clarke

tbh, I'm not sure how well Via will react to the suggestion


To: Clarke, Jonah Clarke

She'll probably call you a dick for suggestion she can't get a boyfriend on her own


From: Clarke, Jonah Clarke

True :( She's kinda got high standards for guys though, I've been used as an excuse before to get her out of dates


To: Clarke, Jonah Clarke

Does she pretend you're her boyfriend? Maybe she's trying to tell you something ;)


From: Clarke, Jonah Clarke

Are you kidding? She was being nice to me when you came, she's so mean to me Daniel


To: Clarke, Jonah Clarke

I think you're overreacting


From: Clarke, Jonah Clarke

For April Fool's Day she stole my phone, called my mum and pretended to be my drug dealer, my mum wouldn't let me out of the phone for WEEKS


To: Clarke, Jonah Clarke

Tbh, that sounds pretty funny


From: Clarke, Jonah Clarke

It wasn't


To: Clarke, Jonah Clarke

Are you sure?


From: Clarke, Jonah Clarke

I'm not sure I want to be your friend anymore

For a brief moment Daniel panics, and then he realises that Jonah is joking, or at least he hopes he is.

To: Clarke, Jonah Clarke

:(


From: Clarke, Jonah Clarke

Screw you, you always know exactly what to do to win me over


To: Clarke, Jonah Clarke

I literally sent you a sad face


From: Clarke, Jonah Clarke

Exactly :)

Daniel shakes his head, Jonah Clarke is an idiot, but there's something about talking to Jonah, whether than be face to face or phone to phone, that always puts Daniel in such a good mood.

To: Clarke, Jonah Clarke

You're an idiot


From: Clarke, Jonah Clarke

I'm your idiot


To: Clarke, Jonah Clarke

What if I don't want you to be my idiot?


From: Clarke, Jonah Clarke

Why wouldn't you want me to be your idiot? :(


To: Clarke, Jonah Clarke

I can't tell if you sound sad or cocky x

Daniel isn't sure what happens but some part

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