[s] A Favor For Kookie

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"Jimin," he called my name and I looked up from my phone.

"Yeah, Kookie?" I gave him a smile.

"Have you seen my camera laying around anywhere? I can't seem to find it," he glanced around the room, playing with a ball of fuzz between his fingers.

"Uh, the Canon camera?"

"Yeah, that one," he turned to me and nodded.

"Well...I saw you with it in the van earlier," I stood up, slipping my phone into my pocket.

"I know. I'm pretty sure I brought it inside, too."

"Well," I started to walk down the hallway towards his room, "maybe you've misplaced it."

I could hear him following me and feel his eyes on me. It was strange because, for a change, he was following me.

I was so used to staring at the back of his head and going wherever he went, that I almost got lost on the way to his room.

"Have you asked TaeTae if he's seen it?" I tried to make conversation as we entered the room.

"Yeah, he said the same thing as you," Jungkook sighed, "I hope I didn't lose it. I really liked it."

"Like, Kookie," I corrected him, "It's not gone forever quite yet."

"But it's not here. Where else would it be?"

I walked back to him, the maknae letting the door fall shut as he moved away from me.

"Jungkook," I finally caught his gaze and I held his face still so he wouldn't look away, "It'll be fine, we'll find it."

"Thank you hyung," he gave me a small smile, then turned to start looking again.

I sighed and dropped my hands to my sides.

"What's wrong?" He turned back to me, "Do you not want to help?"
"No, it's fine. I was bored anyways," I faked a smile then turned towards Ho Seok's side of their room.

"Alright then," he said and then I heard him opening his dresser drawers.

I searched on top of and under Ho Seok's bed, in the floor under clothes, and on every surface that was piled with junk.

It wasn't on our hyung's side of the room, so I went to join Kookie as he searched through his nightstand.

"It's a big camera. You'd think it wouldn't be easy to lose," he muttered and closed the last drawer. He sighed and took a seat on his bed, "I don't know where it could be."

"Well, I'm sure it'll turn up somewhere. Seven people live here after all," I tried to reassure him since he had been carrying that thing everywhere for the last month.

He simply nodded, hanging his head.
It was silent for a while, and I found myself playing with his hair.

When he finally looked up, his eyes were different somehow and his cheeks were a raging red.

"Kookie," I crouched down in front of him, "Don't cry. I promise you I won't rest until we find it."

"No, that's...that's not it, Jimin hyung," he turned his head in the direction of the door, "Hyung, do you remember what I told you last month?"

"About you being...," I trailed off and he nodded, "Yeah, what about it?"

"I need you to do me a favor, but I won't force you."

That peaked my curiosity so I nodded, "Yeah sure, what is it?"

"I wouldn't agree so fast if I were you," he smiled and leaned back on his palms.

I stood up and sat next to him, "Just tell me, dummy."

He threw his head back and sighed, "Well...with everything that's been happening, I've been really stressed out lately. I can't think straight anymore...and you coming back from the gym all nice looking isn't helping much either."

"I'm sorry," I started playing with my fingers, "I'll shower before I come back then."

"No, don't. It's the highlight of my day," he messed up his hair and chuckled, "but anyway, that favor...could you...uh," he huffed out some air and the blush on his cheeks died a bit, "will you jack me off?"

I froze at those words and bit my lip, "Hm?"

"Aish," he laid back on the bed and covered his face, "I knew that was too much."

"Well, Kookie," I was still trying to find words. He caught me completely off guard, "I mean...if...if it's just that, then...I don't see why I can't."

I internally face palmed. Why would I agree to do this? He was my dongsaeng for Christ's sake! I'm supposed to take care of him, but wasn't this crossing a line?

"So, you aren't creeped out or disgusted or anything?," he sat up and slouched over.

"No, just...shocked, I guess is the right word. But I don't mind helping you out if really need me to."

Jungkook was struggling with being gay. I was humbled and happy that he chose to tell me. All I wanted to do was make him feel more comfortable with himself.

At this point, I was questioning why he couldn't do this himself, but he seemed to be reading my mind.

"Thanks hyung. I've been doing it myself all week, but it doesn't seem to help. Fantasies are just fantasies at the end of the day."

"What-What kind of...f-fantasies do you have?" I cautiously asked.

"Ah, you don't wanna hear about those," he smiled devilishly, "I am a top after all, so it's only natural that I think of you as my bottom."

"Kookie!" I pouted, "I'm older than you!"

"So? You're so much more in touch with your feelings than me, so that makes you a bottom, at least with me."

"Do you want me to help you or not?" I asked.

"Sorry, hyung," he cutely smiled and sat up.

"You're so lucky you're adorable," I mumbled and crossed my arms.

"Aw," he mocked me, "You're my favorite, too, Jimin...just for a different reason."

I felt myself blush at those words, because I knew exactly what reason he had. It wasn't...romantic or anything, just the thoughts of a growing male.

"But I mean, hey, at least you don't hate me."

I looked back to him and shook my head, "I can't hate you for being who you are. And you're even more confident now, so I don't care what you say or do as long as you're happy."

"Aish hyung," he smiled brighter and hung his head, "You're making my heart clench."

"Sorry Kookie," I dropped my hands to rest beside my thighs. Lately, all the praise and encouragement I had been giving him, also gave him the wrong idea.

I love Jungkook, I do, but not in the way he's beginning to love me. So I had been trying to tone down on all the compliments and things so that he didn't fall for me. The last thing I want is for him to be heartbroken.

"Hyung, can we just...get this over with?" His voice made me look up.

My eyes shifted down to his jeans and I blushed, "Um...sure."

I moved a little closer to him, our knees touching, and I started to reach over into his lap.

Although, he suddenly grabbed my wrists and stopped me.

I looked up and...Jungkook kissed me.

It was only for a second and then he pulled away, standing up and moving to the other side of the room.

"I'm sorry, hyung- I didn't mean to...uh..I'm...sorry."

"Jungkook," I stood up when he started to leave the room, "It's oka-"

The door slamming shut behind our maknae cut me off.

I sighed and sat back down. I let my eyes wander and I saw a book sticking out from underneath his pillow.

Part of me thought a novel Jungkookie's been reading, no biggie, but the other part was screaming please be a journal!

I reached over and pulled out a leather covered book, finding it to be a lyric book/journal.

I looked to the door, seeing no shadows underneath it, then opened the book.

I went to the more recent entry, which was two days ago. He had wrote the day, month, year and time of his entry, which was apparently at two in the morning.

The entry read:
Monday, September third, 2016: 2:05 a.m.
I can't sleep. I keep worrying about too many things. I keep having dreams that Jimin wakes up hating me one day. I don't want to believe that because hyung is nice to me. Lately, he's been so nice that my stupid brain thinks he likes me as more than a brother, but I'm just stupid.
Jimin hyung hasn't told anyone about my secret. Or it doesn't seem that way.
I'm thankful for that.
I love Jimin hyung, but I don't know in what way.

I closed the book and put it back where it was, then stood up and rushed out of the room.

"Jungkook!" I called for him, but didn't get an answer.

"Jimin, what's happening?" Jin poked his head out of his door and Tae Hyung did as well.

"Where'd Kookie go?" I asked.

"I think the bathroom," Tae Hyung pointed to the closed bathroom door.

I moved pass them and started to rapidly knock on the door, "Jungkook?"

"Hold-Hold on a second," he responded, a small sniffle following his words.

"Open the door," I demanded.

I waited for a second, then the lock slowly clicked and I burst into the bathroom, closing the door behind me.

"Hyung-"

"Sh," I said, "And listen to me."

He sniffled and wiped the tears off his cheeks, then nodded.

"I'm not mad at you for that. It's okay, so just calm down-"

"It's not okay," he shook his head, "You aren't like me. You didn't want that to happen, it's my fault that it did."

"Jungkook, stop," I reached out and grabbed his arm, "I know this is all really difficult for you, but you can't blame yourself for being who you are and you can't just run away from it."

He relaxed a little, letting his head hang, "But, hyung, you...I shouldn't have forced that on you."

I laughed, finally realizing why he was so upset, "Jungkook, I don't care. It was a kiss, and just that. It's not like you raped me or something. I'm not mad at you and I don't think it was weird, nor did I find it disgusting."

He looked up at me, pure relief showing on his face, "Seriously?"

"Yes," I chuckled out, "I didn't mind it at all, it's just normal for you."

After a bit of time, he sighed then walked over and hugged me, "You make it so hard not to love you."

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