My brighter Starlight

I remember the day I started calling you this name, I was a messed up boy, with a messed up mind, who didn't know what was feeling about a girl who appeared in his world like a miracle.

I remember the day we met, I did found you annoying, and wanted nothing more but for you to leave me alone in that Tower, because I didn't liked you and all your questions.

Little did I know how important you would became to me.

I visited your dorm today, I saw your yellow flowers that you took everywhere you went, they were dead, the protection charm died with your magic and so did the flowers.

I never told you I was the one who gave them to you, who placed them from under your door, knowing about the story of them.

Yeah, Potter won the war and for what, there's nothing left for me Starlight you were the only thing I had left, how do they want me to fucking celebrate.

Life continues, as they say, but my life has been taken at force off me.

You were too kind for this world, too beautiful, too shinning, too pure, too lovely, too perfect...so the fate decided the world couldn't have you, and so couldn't I.

This world didn't deserved you, I didn't deserved you, you are perfect.

You're in a better place now, watching me writing this, this world hurted you so much that you were taken to an heaven, where you always belonged to, while I belonged to hell.

You were supposed to be reading this letter, you, and it was not supposed to be written like this, I would be telling you how I am deeply and utterly in love with you, while giving you the promise ring I got for you.

I got it for you, the ring, as a promise to we run away, as a promise that I would never leave your side, as a promise that I would do everything to make you happy.

You promised me Starlight, you promised me you would never leave me, and I trusted you, because I love you like I've never loved anybody before, I didn't even know love until I met you.

Everything I've ever loved and cared about, left me.

I lied, it was not the world who took you away from me it was me.

It's my fault.

It's all my fault.

I hurted you so much, I pushed you away from me, but you always came back, always forgave me when even I forgave myself, you always were there for you, but I wasn't, but you still forgave me.

The world gave me an opportunity, my last chance to protect you, to keep you safe from harm, and I failed like the failure I have always been.

I was selfish into trusting you when you said I wasn't dangerous, I shouldn't have fell into your loving arms again, if it wasn't for me, you would still be alive, but that's all I do, everything I touch turns into ashes.

I promised you I would keep you safe, I fucking promised you, I'm a liar, I lied to everyone, specially you, so many times that I was the reason behind your tears.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, that I made you fall in love with me, I'm sorry I made you think you were safe with me, I'm sorry being the reason why you lost your friends, I'm sorry that you lost everything because of me.

There was something I always wished to tell you, I gained potential feelings for you after the Yule Ball, but I told myself I was just confused, and lied to myself for many, many time.

I miss you Starlight, I miss all about you, I miss the way your bones fitted so perfectly in mine, I miss the way you blushed without even knowing at my soft words, I miss my lips touching yours, I miss your voice, your healing touch that always showed me the light.

You were the light I needed to survive.

Without the light, there's only darkness, a hollow in what once lived the most bright star this world ever seen.

Your smile.

Your annoying smile, that could brighten everyone's day, so contagious, so perfect, probably one of the reasons why I fell in love with you in first place, you pulled a smile out of my face, whenever you wanted to, you were the first and last one capable to do that.

I miss touching you brown hair, I miss staring at your face as the most precious thing I had, like a fragile diamond I had to protect with my life, I miss your green, emerald eyes, that always had light in them, so romantic all the time I watched them, melting me down like ice.

You were like a flower blooming in the winter, so impossible so unreal, yet so pleasant to watch your petals stretch into the coldness.

Your eyes were more magnificent and magical than the stars, and I wanted to look and get lost in them forever.

You showed me how to love, you showed me what no one else did, you showed me I could be whatever I wanted, you gave me a reason to believe in choices.

You brought me laugher when I only felt pain, you brought me light when I was between the consuming darkness.

I wanted to die, and you wanted to live, now, you died so I can live.

This shouldn't have happened, I was the one who deserved to dissappear from your life, not the opposite.

You deserved to be alive!

You deserved the whole world and more, you deserved your fairytale, you deserved a happy ending because you never did nothing wrong, but the world kept punishing you anyways.

It punished both of us.

We were the opposite from each other, the light and the darkness, not meant to be together, but together we showed how everyone was wrong.

We had plans, we had a life waiting for us, away from everyone that told us no, living the life we both deserved, the fairytale I promised myself I would give you.

I've always admired the stars, always trusted them with my deepest secrets, I told them about you, of how I always saw you as one of them, a gift from the stars to have a star of my own.

I treated you so bad, I lied to you, did so many things I regret because I feared to show you how vulnerable I am, of how soft I always became when around you, because you showed the best that was on me.

You saw in me a part that I didn't even know existed.

I wish you were here now, telling me everything was going to be okay, even though it probably was not, however, you were always right.

I never got to tell you my deepest feelings, I never got to tell you of how grateful I was for having you in my life, of how hard you made me fell for you, just by smiling and by understanding what nobody ever understood in me, I never told you enough times what my whole heart shouted at me everytime my eyes landed on you.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you!

I love you so much, I love everything about you, everything you do, your jokes, your touch, I love you from every corner of my heart.

It's you, Lara, that my heart belongs to.

You just wanted to be happy, you just wanted peace, you never hurted anyone, you deserve everything, you're not a monster like me, you deserved all the love in the world!

If we had five more seconds...

I'm sorry, I'm sorry for not being able to keep smiling like you asked me to, I'm sorry for all the pain I made you go through, I'm sorry I lied, I'm sorry I broke my promise, I'm sorry for being to weak to protect you, and I'm sorry for what I'm going to do...

I can't live without you, the only thing that always made me smile and wake up in the morning was you, and now you are gone.

I love you, you are my Love, my Starlight, my Lara, my Everything.

I Love You.

Yours for eternity, Draco Malfoy.