Last night was a nightmare for everyone, specially for Harry, I still remember him, kneeled down next to Dumbledore's lifeless body that had fell from the tower.

I haven't spoke with anyone after I ran away from the Hagrid's hut like if someone was chasing me down, I packed before Charlotte even appeared there, and went straight to bed, but I couldn't sleep, everytime I closed my eyes, Draco's face when he was supposed to make the worst sin of all, haunted me.

He was doing it to protect me, all this time, it wasn't because he was just going through something, but because he hoped that leaving me Voldemort would stop threatening my life.

I had to maintain my eyes open, everytime I closed and saw only the darkness, my cursed memories haunted me down like a prey.

Of course, when Charlotte arrived I pretended I was asleep, I had no intentions to speak with her whatsoever, I just wanted to go home.

The whole school was quiet the next day, the corridors dark, hopeless, Hogwarts is not the safest place, not anymore when the own Headmaster is killed right under his nose.

Even after the whole night awake, with my gaze focused on the black lake that was outside my window, reflecting the water inside the dorm, I still didn't know how to organize my thoughts, there was so much things that have been revealed that I didn't know what to think about first.

I couldn't picture what Draco has been through all this time, I've been through hell and back, and so did he, the difference was, that he never left hell, he's trapped in a ring of fire, because he was the devil, and devil's are not made for light they're made to bring chaos and death.

He thinks that I see him as a monster now, I saw it for the way our gazes locked together for one last time before he left, but I see everything but a monster in him, I remember how he couldn't do it, he was trying to protect me but at the same time he wasn't capable to take someone's life.

Having to carry out the fate to take someone's life, there wasn't a greater sin, a sin that represented hell itself, having the weight of cursing someone's fate on it's shoulders is the same as carrying the whole world, an unbearable weight.

There was still someone I could speak with, someone I knew it would never disappoint me or ever leave me, my father, I don't see him for almost a year now, and I need him more than ever, because I don't know to who else to resort to.

With him I knew there wasn't going to be surprises or shocking revelations.

As soon as I stepped out of the Hogwarts Express, I gave my father the tightest hug, a hug I was needing for a long time, a hug that no one cared enough to give me.

I was waiting to get home to speak with him about, pretty much everything, although he seemed very nervous when he saw me, not broken, I could feel a bit of regret on his eyes, which was no good coming from him.

I hoped the house would look the same as last time, but it was different, some antiquated, wooden furniture was broken, the old retro couch seemed used for more than a person when I saw the pillows replaced, and at least three cups of tea on the top of the glass table, the curtains hanged, one of them hanged for dear life, all scratched and ripped off, and old, family boxes that before were on the basement, were now spread along the big living room table.

It smelled like it was rotten, my house, the paintings of my old family generations, unmoved, already covered on the musty and greasy spider web, not to speak about some diamond chandeliers which light was always flashing, the mahogany red carpets were dirty, and more than a footprint was distinguishable in there, and they all stopped at my father's office door.

I said nothing about the outrageous state of my house, my father needed anything but that, perhaps he's just trying to get his life back together, and called some friends over his house, and is remembering old memories from his family that's why the boxes full of old-fashioned stuff that I never putted my eyes in.

I just placed my bags in my room, the only thing that hasn't changed, my father didn't touched anything of it, asides from being way more full of dust, but nothing that a litlle but of magic can't fix.

{☆~☆}

Father avoids to speak with me, it's been almost a month, and he spends the all day in his office, sometimes he comes to my room, asks if I need something, but avoids having a normal conversation at all, but I cared enough not to ask what was wrong with him.

I have brought the yellow flowers he sent me to represent my mother, and I have decided to do something I wasn't expecting to do so soon...entering in my mother's bedroom.

For my honesty, I thought that the door would be locked, it spent so much time that I was fearing to ruin the smell that still rested of her in that room.

I gained courage, and stepped in her room, it still smelled like her, it was like she was here with me, her warm presence brightened up the room, making it perhaps the only room where nothing has been touched by no one except for her, all the stuff in this room were last touched by her, with her scent there accumulated.

I thought I would cry hard when I stepped in the room, but instead I was glad that my mother's memory remained alive.

Without wanting to be here for much longer, my gaze fell over her old desk, finding what I was looking for in first place, the reason why I came here.

My mother's vase, a gift from my grandmother before she died, apparently really important for her somehow, it was one of her most precious things she carried, always placing protective charms around it, so no one would accidently destroy it.

I grabbed it, and giving one last look at her bedroom I left, and closed the door behind me again.

I placed the yellow flowers inside the vase that my mother had so much care off, it was a regular vase, normal shape, with patterns of a black skull wrapped around white flowers, it wasn't the prettiest vase, but it was important for her, therefore it's important for me.

My father even saw the vase when he came to my room, he showed appreciation for having used the vase, but seemed to not have any familiarity with the yellow flowers.

I got bored, so I went outside, and sat in the flower field, that was now with half of the plants dead, except the ones me and father placed a protective charm on, so we could collect them and put on mother's grave, but it would take a whole eternity to enchant the whole field, so we did the best we could do.

I was layed in the grass, that once was the color of pear green, but now was more like a sage green, way more poor in life, even our charms were enough to protect the nature from being also consumed by the darkness.

I was playing with a little shamrock in my hand, only with three leafs, I heard once in Muggle Studies, that muggles think that finding a four leafs shamrock brings luck towards them, I have never believed in such, but still, I remember when I was twelve years old, here in this same field, looking for a rare four leafs shamrock, unsuccessful of course.

I used to think why were muggles so superstitious, having lots of believing in some sort of lucky charms, but now I wanted them to be right about luck, because that was what I was needing the most.

"Lara!" I heard my father call from the entrance of our house, and I locked up, seeing him gesturing for me to come inside.

I imediatly stood up from the cold grass my body was layed before.

He started walking inside before I even reached him, but following him right behind, and realized he was going in direction to his office.

My eyes wide opened when I saw his office, compared to the rest of the house, it was quite organized - too organized - but this room smells alot more kf magic than the rest of the house, so what ot means is that he used magic to fix it.

He went to behind his desk, while I stood in front of him, a few inches away from the desk, as my gaze was still examining everything.

"I called you here because, I wanted to inform you that I will be out for a few days." My father said firmly and I diverted my eyes from te room to him.

I looked at his features he was uncertain of what my reaction would be, but kept his firm position.

"Out?! What do you mean out?" I asked elated.

He took his time to speak, hesitantly thinking of his next few words.

"I have a reunion with old, friends, of mine." He said, making a small pause between the wlrd friends and the rest of the sentence.

"Are you insane, with all these disappearances and attacks, You-Know-Who is winning and you want to hang out with friends." I shouted in a wrathful tone.

He didn't answered me, instead he kept his lips in a firm line, a way of him to show me that there was nothing I could do or say that would make him change his mind.

"Are you actually going?" I asked hopeless of his answer.

"Yes, it's imperative that I go." He said gloomy.

"Why? Where are you even going to?" I asked, my voice uneasy.

"Malfoy Manor." He said unconcerned by the impact his sentence would have in me.

My lips parted away when the words slipped from his mouth, shaking my head in denial, unbelievabin what my eyes have heard.

"What? That...that doesn't make sense..." I said vaguely.

"You'll be staying here, while I'm away..." He said not answering my words. "...but I will put wards around the house and-" I cut him off.

"I'm going with you." I said with my voice serious and steady.

"No, that's out of question." He said clearly, he was definitely waiting for me to say this. "You're staying here." He said firmly.

"That wasn't a request, that was a affirmation." I said in a zealous tone towards him.

He took a deep breath, he didn't expected this attitude coming from me, but he doesn't know me, not anymore, I've learned how to be efficient and strategic.

"Don't think that I don't know why you want to be there." He said firmly, as he leaned his body over his desk. "You're not going to see him, because you're not going, I'm still your father and it's my duty to keep my family safe, I've failed once, I won't do it again, and the Malfoy Manor is more dangerous than ever." He said strictly, thinking he was right and I was wrong.

"If it's so dangerous like you said, why are you going there then?" I asked in a wrathful tone.

He took a deep breath, let his head drop as he thought about his next move, feeling trapped into what to say.

"There's something I need to tell you." He said calmly, and I nodded letting my rage being washed over my body.

He walked from his desk next to me, sitting on the left chair, and proposed for me to do the same, which did not helped me in my expectations of this conversation.

"I'm a Death Eater, Lara." He said, vaguely lifting his left sleeve for me to see the same mask I saw in Draco's arm.

"Why?" I asked calmly, I didn't even know what was more surprising, Draco, or my own father be a Death Eater and doesn't even tell me.

"Do you see that painting?" He asked pointing the big painting of my grandfather in the wall behind his desk, and I nodded. "That's your grandfather, Lazarus Blackwell, a Voldemort trusted follower many ears ago." He said calmly. "He wasn't like me and your mother, he despised the muggle borns, can't blame him, at that time many people did." He said without taking his eyes off the painting.

"But, what's that doing to do with you?" I asked softly, diverting his attention from the painting.

"The Dark Lord thinks I'm just like my father, and, if I tell him the truth he...he will harm our family and that's the last thing I want." He said firmly.

I didn't answered anything to that, I understood why have him done it, like I understood why Draco have become one as well, both did it in order to protect the people they love the most.

"I feel like a coward, instead of facing him, I'm pretending I'm on his side." My father gave a sarcastic laugh at his own sentence.

"It's not called cowardly, it's called sacrifice, you knew you would never have a chance against him, so you made the hardest choice." I said softly, giving him a small smile.

"You remind me of your mother, always seeing the other side of things, I'm glad you look like her." He said softly, and stood up from his chair. "She didn't wanted me to tell you this story of course, but I think that, counting on the circumstances, you need to know." He said in a respectful tone.

I waited to make the question that was now on my head since he told me this story, apparently even my own family I knew well, I wonder if I really know something that doesn't have a hidden truth behind it.

"Is he going to be there?" I asked in a impatient tone, and saw him nodding his head.

"That's why I don't want you to go." He said softly.

"But I'm going." I clarified, making sure my tone was firm, even though I was indeed a bit scared, but showing him only what I intended to.

He took a deep breath, and looked deeply in my eyes, scratching his head trying to figure out what to do.

"We will go earlier, and I ask Narcissa to give you a room, nobody and I repeat, nobody, except me and Narcissa will know you're there." He said, raising his tone higher on the word 'nobody'. "That's my condition to you go."

"Fine. That's a deal." I said firmly standing up from my seat but the smirk on my face was quickly wiped off when I remembered a tiny little detail. "Wait, doesn't You-Know-Who wants me to become a Death Eater as well?" I asked worried.

"No, you're no use for him, but if he knows that you're there, he will definitely want to talk to you." He said admonished.

I nodded, and excused myself from his office, but still catching his loud words claiming that we would be leaving tomorrow morning.

To be honest, my heart was already pumping from the thought itself of being under the same roof as Voldemort, and wondering if Draco would be at the reunion as well, or if he was going to be like me, locked in his room.

I sat in my bed looking at the yellow flowers, while grabbing my necklace tightly against my chest, and took it off underneath my clothes, watching the ring Draco gave me, remembering all those unforgettable moments we spent together, and thinking about my plan to meet him tomorrow while I was in his home.