Holding Draco's ring that was on my necklace, I took two deep breaths before stepping out of the Hogwarts Express, not that I don't want to be with my father, I do, more than anything, it's the broken look on his face when he sees me that I don't wish to see, seeing my parents like that had always affected me, and now with my mother gone...

When I saw him, he managed a smile to me, a small one, couldn't really tell if it was a true smile or he was pretending to be okay, but I still returned the smile back.

He looked so thin and pale, almost like he was ill, and I felt a familiar pain hit my chest at the sight of it.

The trip home was quiet, I was wondering how my father managed all these months alone, making me regret a bit of my choice of coming back at Hogwarts...not that I could go back in time and change that, what was done was done, so I shoved that thought deep in my mind.

I flinched when I saw the current state of my house, all the frames that contained a picture of my mother were placed down, against the cold marble floor, making my heart flinch.

I've never seen my house so full of dust like it was now, the furniture looked completely untouched since I left, and the living room looked way more messier.

There were lots of dirty dishes were on the countertop of the kitchen, it was hard to found a clean dish among all that mess.

I climbed the stairs to my room, still not sharing a word with my father, not to be rude, buto think of how to talk with him, normally, trying to bring back our relationship, even though these hard circumstances.

As soon as I stepped inside my room, I saw, the earrings, my mother's earrings, I have left them on the top of my table when I went to the Malfoy's Christmas party, and didn't had the courage to touch them again, hoping it would still have her warm touch inside of it.

Taking my eyes off the earrings, trying to drive my mind off the terrible day my mother left me, and looked over my desk.

Opened letters were laying there, Draco's letters, and some unfinished that I expected to sent him, but wasn't capable of such thing, and always got the letters stained in tears, which mixing with the ink and making an all mess.

From there, I drove my gaze to my window, and stepped towards there, slowly staring at the beautiful flower field...they were dying as well.

If I ever felt comfortable among these walls, thar feeling had vanished, my mother was who bringed the colors to these antiquated and musty walls, but now all had gotten grey, the rainbow who dropped the life to this house had faded away, and now I felt a complete strange in a place I once called home.

I layed in my bed, looking at the ceiling, thinking of all that's it's been happening, while twisting Draco's ring between my fingers.

My father had losted the joy of being in this house, a house that my mother so much admired, always with her decorations all over the house, he had losted his smile, like I had, but slowly was recovering, half of his soul layed now in the heaven, while the other remained in hell, broken, uncompleted.

I tried to understand why my father had hidden away my mother's pictures, and that's when I realized.

My father had covered my mother's pictures, because, he couldn't bare to look at her face, to look at what he had lost, the woman he loved for years...he feels guilty for what happened...as so I felt too.

There was so much stories I hadn't shared with my mother, so many important moments in my life I didn't got the opportunity to confess, all because I was too worried of what would happen to my mother, instead of trying to pass time with her, like a daughter and her mother should do.

I also felt guilty, for not doing more for her, for having disappointed her, by not being able to smile for months, for having my grades getting way worst, and most of all, by lying to people I deeply cared about, the thing she almost told me not to do, because lies, can cause an irreparable damage.

And how right she was.

{☆~☆}

I woke up with my hand wrapped around Draco's ring, lately it has been always like this, I knew the first days here would be hard, just like I knew the first days back at Hogwarts would be hard, beginnings are always the hardest, until we get accommodated to it.

I looked gave a look at the ring, since placed the necklace around my neck, that I hadn't take it off, not even once, as I holded it, I imagined him, grabbing my hand, as his thumb slowly massaged the back of my hand, relaxing me.

I walked over my desk, even though it was only been a day and a half, I thought it would be good to write him.

I placed all the opened letters from him to the side, and took a piece of parchment on top of the table, and grabbed my quill to start writing.

Draco,

I don't even know where to start, everything here feels so cold and lonely, it doesn't feels like home anymore, it's odd to be here knowing she is not going to knock.

I haven't talked with my father yet, we didn't shared any word yet, and

I stopped my writing when I heard a gentle knock on my door, and I stood up to open it.

My father stood there, with a paper on his hands, he did not looked pleased from whatever he was reading.

"Hmm, good morning, dad." I said awkwardly, I don't know how my mother's death made our relationship become so distant, but I obviously wished we could still be the happy family we were.

"Good morning dear, can you meet me downstairs in ten minutes?" He asked softly.

"Yeah of course, dad...is something wrong?" I asked softly when saw his upset face while still examinating the paper, and I tilted my head in a try to read it inside my head.

"Hog-warts, School of-" he folded it closed before I could read anything else.

"It's no big deal, I just want to speak with you for a moment." He said softly, giving me a thin smile.

I nodded softly, and closed the door, wondering what was that paper he hold so much interest in, and why it had my school name written on it.

I dressed my clothes quickly, and went downstairs the fastest I could, glad to be finally passing some time with my father after what happened in this very same house.

He was in the living room, sat in the couch by the fireplace, still with the such parchment in his hands.

His gaze remained locked with the flames coming from the fireplace, but he looked completely zoned out, he was clearly focused on a deep thought.

"Dad..." I said softly from behind him, and he looked over his shoulder, sending me a small smile.

He signed for me to sit, and so I did, feeling of how silent and empty this house was, it was too big for only two people that were mourning, filled with too many memories.

"Is everything okay, Lara?" I heard my father ask, after a few seconds of silence.

"Yeah of course, dad." I said softly, wondering why such question. "Why are you asking that?" I raised my eyebrowns as my gaze, automatically fell on the parchment resting between his fingers.

"It's just..." He placed the paper down in the table, and looked at me. "I received your O.W.Ls results, and I must say, I'm worried because this doesn't look like you, and I want to know if you're okay." He said softly, I could see through his eyes that he was neither mad or disappointed at me, just worried.

The bloody O.W.Ls.

I have forgotten about those, I had already buried them in the back of my head, trying to delete the chaos they were, forgetting that the results would still be owled home.

"Okay, I know the O.W.Ls didn't went very well to me, but, were they that bad?" I asked worried.

"Well..." He picked up the parchment from the table and read it carefully. "You got one Outstanding, two Exceeds Expectations, three Acceptable, and two Poors, and a Dreadful." My father said firmly.

I flinched when I heard my grades, I've never thought it had been that bad, I've literally failed at least three classes, and only one Outstanding, not that I was waiting to have that in all grades, but I hoped for better, way better, I've thought of having at least some Poor, but a Dreadful.

"Let me see it." I said firmly as I extended my hand foward for him to reach me the paper.

Clearly, the only Outstanding I had, was from Defense Against the Dark Arts, a Exceeds Expectations at Potions, and Astronomy, a Acceptable at Transfiguration, Care of Magical Creatures and Herbology, a Poor at Charms and History of Magic, and a Dreadful at Divination.

The grade at Divination was more than obvious why, it was never a class that had any captivation in me, actually I've founded it quite annoying, and most of the time, a complete facade.

The Acceptables kinda surprised me, I've always been good at Transfiguration, a Acceptable was quite low to what I knew, and the rest of classes has always been quite easy.

The Poor at Charms was both surprising and disappointing, if my second O.W.L at Charms got a poor, then my first one would be the lowest, a Troll, so I have Fred and George to thank for that.

Without not wanting to look at the paper anymore, I handed the parchment back to my father who folded it closed, and placed it back at the table.

"So...are you going to tell me what's wrong?" My father asked softly.

"It's nothing, I was just...distracted." I diverted my gaze to the fireplace avoiding eye contact with him.

"It's about your mother isn't?" He said firmly, but I didn't replied. "Lara you know you can talk to me right?" He said softly, and I tried to hold back my tears.

"It's just so hard..." I cried out.

"I know dear, I know it is." He wrapped his big arms around me, as I sobbed.

I didn't wanted him to see my like this, loosing the live off his life was already bad enough, seeing his daughter crying because of it would not help, but I'm glad he did not got distant off me like some people do.

Without talking, he let me cry into his arms, he probably even wants to cry along, but I know he doesn't want to show how broken and in pain he is.

"I'm sorry." I said between some sobs, calming down.

"What for?" He asked softly.

"For my grades...are you not mad?" I asked turning my gaze to him.

"Of course I'm not mad at you!" He said softly. "I would never get mad at you because of your grades...no, I'm just worried with you that's all." He said giving a smile.

Even after I had fully calmed down, he kept his arms around me, it felt good to know he was still here to support me no matter what.

I reminded myself that this was the perfect opportunity to ask him the questions what so far, have been itching my mind.

"Dad, can I ask uou something?" I asked softly.

"Yeah of course." He said his gaze remained focused on tbe fireplace.

"Why didn't mother want the healers here?" I asked and saw his smile dropp from his face.

He knew I would make questions, he just didn't wanted to answer them, not yet.

"As you know, your grandma passed away too soon, in a very young age." He said firmly, and I nodded my head. "Mother didn't wanted me to tell you this, but, both your mother and grandma died due a Blood Malediction." My father said calmly.

I flinched at the hear if such thing, it was a blood curse that can resurface in a victim's descendants.

"But...why the healers?" I even had more questions now, but didn't let them take the importance of the others.

"Well, they made a mistake with your grandma, something with her medication that she couldn't take due to her age, and she died way more sooner than we thought she would." He said calmly while I tried to register all this new and unexpected information.

"I didn't know that existed medication to heal blood curses." I said softly.

"And it doesn't exist, the medication only serves to ease the pain and give them a bit more time." He said, still refusing to look at me, like if he was making a confession of a crime.

"That's why mother didn't wanted healers, she thought they would mess up the medication like happened with grandma and she would die sooner because of that." I said, fighting the urge to cry even more.

"Actually they didn't quite messed up the medication...they knew about our money health and they made us afford the most expensive medication from them, medication your grandma couldn't even take, and your mother hated the healers since then." My father said firmly, even though his eyes were shining from the accumulated water.

"Dad will I get sick from that too?" I asked, I tried not to think about that until now, but it was something it did not left my mind, and the chances of me having it, were quite high.

"No, we tested you as soon as you were born, the curse didn't got transmitted to you, even though your kids can have it." He said calmly.

"But, if I did the test to know, why haven't mother did it?" I asked, but he kept his silence and I realized. "Unless she did it, and she knew she would have it." I said and he looked at me, nodding.

My mother knew she would die all along, so she tried to teach me everything she knew, to pass most of her time with me, too see me grown.

All my life, all the time I passed with her, was because she was going to die, and she wanted to be with me all the time, and during all those years, she was preparing me for her death, always telling me to smile, to face life always with a smile, to be the light among the darkness of the world, and not to fall into it, all this time and I didn't knew.

I didn't realized I was crying until I opened my mouth to speak but only sobs got out of it.

My father hugged me again, tears falling down his eyes as well while he did so.

"You look so much like her...so smart and beautiful like her." He said with his voice shaking.

His words made me cry even worse, I looked like her, and my father couldn't even bare to look at her pictures, and I was a live print of her, a living proof of what he had lost, something he could not cover or hide in the shadows.

"She was always smiling, always taking the situation with calmness, quite the opposite from me, but just like you." He said.

He needed this, and I did as well, he didn't let it out with anyone, he thought he needed to be strong for me, but he didn't, it's okay to cry, and I wanted to show him that.

Although I discovered this know, I still had so many questions, questions I didn't had before, so many things I wished to have done differently, time I wished I didn't had wasted, precious time.

So many things make sense now, my head it's looking like a battle right now, if not really fighting one.

I wonder if it was better if she told me this before, if it would make some difference, but then I remembered of her last days, of how I was more worried of what was happening with her instead of passing the most of time with her, normally passing time with her.

I kept crying the all day, my father brought us some tea, to drink, calming me down, and the headache that I had due to the intense sobs.