Chapter 72-Opening Up

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Cover credits goes to @dream-1297!Thank you so much! This is a very cute cover!

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I reached home in about twenty minutes and parking the car in the garage I moved towards the house door. There was figure standing there making me stop in my tracks. Who could be standing outside now in such cold weather and he looks lightly dresses. Wait! Isn't that...

"Gouenji!"

I called out to him. I am sure that is Gouenji but he didn't respond when I called him. He looked as if he is in some kind of daze. What happened? Why is he waiting outside? Did something happen? I ran to him immediately afraid what I might have to face now.

"Gouenji!" I called out to him this time facing him directly very much worried. His eyes landed on me but somehow he wasn't like usual.

"Astrea." He called me in a low voice.

"Yeah." I nodded not knowing what to say.

"You are here." He replied touching my cheek as if I would disappear any moment. I shivered immediately when his hand touched my cheek because he was as cold as ice.

"Yes I am. I am here." I just parroted greatly confused. With that he hugged me to him tightly and buried his face in the crook of my neck.

"What happened?" I asked him panicking. Why is he like this? Is everyone okay? What is going on?

"Let's go inside first." I said trying to move but he refused to budge and his grip on me tightened. "Please Gouenji! Let's go inside first." I pleaded with him. "You are freezing." He loosed his hold on me and I immediately moved holding his hand and took him inside.

As soon as I entered I saw that everyone in our home sat worriedly in the hall. Kidou, Fidio, G, Lillian and Richard with Dannon in his lap are all waiting impatiently. The atmosphere is heavy with tension. I suddenly doubted if they knew about Aram's condition and are waiting impatiently to know about his condition.

"What happened?" I asked them attracting their attention. They looked up at my voice and their eyes diverted to Gouenji behind me who is still lifeless. They immediately surrounded me and asked me what happened in return.

"Why are you asking me that? I returned to find him almost frozen outside and you all are asking me what happened?" This baffled me further

"We don't know Destiny." Kidou answered. "By the time we woke up he was outside at the door with that worried face and wasn't responding to anyone."

"You should have at least convinced him to get inside. It is freezing out there." The least they could is get him in right?

"He wouldn't budge." I could imagine that somehow.

"Let's talk about it tomorrow. It's late already you all go to bed, I will take care of him." They hesitated initially but finally gave up. When Richard was about to go away Dannon made a fuss. I wasn't with him at all today and when he gets the chance to see me he was being taken away immediately but I can't help it today. But he is getting a little better compared to when he wouldn't leave me I guess.

"Sorry kido!" I apologized to him kissing his forehead.

"Wa! Wa!" He babbled as if asking me why.

"I couldn't spend time with you today because I was busy. Now I will have to care of my fiancé so please excuse me for today. We will play tomorrow okay." He pouted but nevertheless went away quietly with Richard this time.

I immediately made way to Gouenji's room and made him sit on the bed. When I was about to go and get him a change of clothes and some warm blankets his grip on my hand didn't loosen, which I previously held on to drag him to his room with me.

"I will get you a change of clothes." I told him but he was still not letting me go. "I'll be back quickly." I explained to him softly just like I would to Dannon. He nodded blankly and let me go. I went to his closet and got some warm clothes along with a sweater and blanket. I gave it to him to change and he started changing in front of me. I was okay with him removing his shirt but when he started removing his pant button that is when I had to show him my back.

"Did you eat anything from morning?" I asked him while covering him in thick blankets and his blank stare told me that he didn't.

"I'll make something for you." I answered and went to the kitchen but all the while I was in the kitchen, his look when I was leaving him was haunting me. It was a silent but strong plea asking me not to leave him but I have to if I want to feed him something. So I started cooking something fast and warm. A warm soup to warm him up and give him strength at the same time. I came to find him sitting in the same position I left him.

My heart clenched not knowing what happened to make him lifeless like this. My grip on the bowl tightened but I need to do what I should do. I fed him the warm soup slowly and he slowly came back to me. He became slowly lively and the pleading look of his disappeared replaced with his normal look. But still I was worried because I don't know what happened to make him like this. After he finished eating I placed the bowl on the bed side table and looked at him. Unlike before he looked back at me and gave me a small smile.

"I am glad you are back." He said hugging me still sitting on the bed. He is still cold. I took hold of the blanket and covered him in an attempt to keep him warm.

"What happened?" I asked looking at him.

"It doesn't matter." He said in his usual dismissive tone. Though I am glad the usual Gouenji is back I need to know what happened. "You came back to me. That is all matters."

"No Gouenji. I need to know what happened. I can't see you like that again neither do I want to see you like that. What happened? Why were you so sad?" He was contemplating whether or not to tell me. "Please." I pleaded with him.

"I thought you left me." He answered his hand covering mine which was on his cheek.

I frowned at his reply. "Leave you?" I asked him back not understanding what he was trying to say. "Where?"

"Not where. Why? I thought you left me for Aram." He replied curtly again making me further confused.

"For Aram? Why would I leave you for him? I mean I went because he needed me but still it somehow doesn't add up. I really don't get what you are trying to say Gouenji. Please tell me clearly."

"I rather not remember it again."

"But you need to tell me so that I can understand. You said that you were afraid I would leave you for Aram. I need to know what made you think so."

He mumbled something in answer but it was unclear making me unable to understand.

"What?"

"I was afraid." He repeated slowly with a dejected tone.

"You were afraid?" That was really shocking to me. I mean even when he lost everything because of Steven he wasn't afraid.

He nodded in reply. "Why were you afraid?"

"I was afraid you would leave me."

This isn't going anywhere!

"Why would I want to leave when I am the one who wanted us together in the first place?"

"I don't know! May be because you love Aram?"

My brain suddenly drew a blank there and I am sure I looked blankly at him for at least five minutes. I am sure that the love I feel for Aram is different from the context of love he is saying.

"I..I..." I don't what to say.

"That's okay. I don't mind, no I definitely mind that but we can't do anything about it right?" He said flashing me a smile but that was such a sad smile that it rendered me speechless. There was such pain in his eyes that it felt like someone was clenching my heart tightly drawing blood. "We can't decide whom our heart loves and you love him but that's fine. You returned to me and that says you still want to be together with me for whatever reason it might be even though you still have him in your heart." 

Suddenly he went silent as if deciding something. With that he looked at me pointedly and suddenly he pinned me to the bed with an intense look. "I don't like him in your heart." He continued while caressing my face with his right hand looking at me intensely and with a loving look. "I will make you turn to me. I will make you fall for me. I will take hold of your heart and make you addicted to me. I will make you fall in love with me and I will make you mine."

Pressing my lips together tightly I prevented the sob that wanted to escape. This is too much for me. The pain he is going through is clear as day to me. When did I give that impression? He was depressed all this while because of that? Remembering how hopeless he looked and sounded made my heart clench. I don't where the mistake happened but I need to clear it now. That lifeless face and the pain is because of me? 

"I love Aram....." I started a tear flowing from my eye, no longer able to control the flow. How can I responsible for his pain? How can I take away his pain? All the pain I gave him unintenionally! I wish I knew about it before.

"You still love him so much huh?." He answered in despair hanging his head down. That is the first I saw such behavior in him. He was always the one to ooze confidence and never falter in anything even once. But now he is so because of me. He tried to get away from me but I immediately moved my hands around his waist not allowing him to escape.

"..but I am not in love with him." I continued despite his comment.

He looked at me as if I am crazy. "Do you know that you are not making any sense? You love him but you are not in love with him? Are you trying to soothe me or something?"

"No that's not what I mean." I panicked again. Will I be able to get it through. No I have to by any way. "What I mean is the love I have for Aram is the same I have for Kidou, Fidio and Robert, nothing more, nothing less or like what you think."

"Don't lie to me." He said looking into my eyes.

"I am not." I said looking back into his eyes trying to convey it to him through my eyes that I am being absolutely honest here.

"Then why were you devastated when Elena and Aram got together. Not to mention you ran to him when he called you early in the morning."

"I was devastated when he got together with Elena? What are you...wait! Are you referring to the incident where I cried in your lap?"

"Yes." He answered looking away from me as if the memory hurts.

"You mean you didn't hear our conversation?"

"Do I seem like a person to eavesdrop?"

"No, No! That's not what I  meant! I thought you would know since you are a genius and all."

"Well! Sorry for not knowing." He answered sarcastically.

"No, not that! I didn't mean so sorry for that too. What happened was...." I hesitated since I am not sure if I can tell him. It's not my secret to tell him. But he is alright now and he himself will tell them in a few days so what's wrong with telling him? Will that be betrayal of his friendship?

"It's okay Astrea! I accepted that fact long ago. Isn't that why you acted as his girlfriend even though you know he loves someone else? I accepted that fact but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. It hurts. But.."

"Aram had cancer." I stated interrupting him before he hurts himself more and that too because of some silly,  stupid, wrong reason. Fuck it all! Gouenji is more important than all this! His happiness means a lot to me. If I am in his position and think that he loves someone else it would definitely break my heart. I don't want him to go through that. I am not revealing a great secret here! I am 100% sure that Aram wouldn't mind and if he does I am ready to fall on my knees and beg for forgiveness. Anything s better than seeing my love in pain.

"What?"

"Remember you noticed that he was dull and asked me if I knew what happened? I asked him just the previous day and after pushing him enough he told me that he had cancer. He doesn't want anyone to know about it and I had to respect his wishes since that is not my secret to tell. He doesn't want Elena to suffer knowing this hence he asked to act as a girlfriend and I agreed because I became soft with the situation. But when Elena cried before us I made him tell the truth. I was crying that day because I was sad and still couldn't get over the fact that he might die one day."

"Today morning?"

"He was getting operated to remove the tumor. That idiot didn't even tell his parents. He wanted to go through that alone but couldn't so he called me at the last minute. That's why I ran to him hurriedly not because I am in love him or some shit!" I said my face scrunching up in disgust. Don't get me wrong! There's nothing wrong with him but when I have Gouenji in my heart everyone else in that position just seems wrong.

"How is he now?" He asked me concerned about Aram.

"Oh! I am sorry for not telling that. His operation was successful. He is cancer free now." I answered smiling broadly at the good news.

"That's good news." He answered genuinely happy himself too.

"So you are saying you didn't love him anytime."

"Oh bloody hell! I wonder how arrived at that conclusion. Everyone including your father was saying I don't love him as if I wore a board saying 'I don't love Aram' when the word initially spread that we are dating and here you are still thinking so. What made yo..."

Before I could continue to rattle on, his lips found mine cutting my words. I froze for a second but then the taste of his lips registered in my brain and I responded to him almost instantly. He kissed with urgency flushing me to him, tightening his grip each second as if he was afraid that I might disappear. Finally after what felt like eternity his lips left mine making me gasp for breathe.

"You are all mine!" He announced with a bright smile which blinded me for a moment. I never saw him this happy. I will do anything to see this smile on him everyday.

"Yeah, yeah. I am all yours." I agreed smiling. "Glad we could clear the misunderstanding." 

"But you know I feel somewhat happy. I know it sounds weird but I am. When you told me that you return my feeling I was a little hesitant to believe nevertheless glad of course. I mean you always have this poker face, always oozing with confidence. It is difficult to tell what you are thinking and feeling. So seeing you like that, even though makes me guilty, I also feel reassured that you indeed have strong feelings for me. The depth of your feelings."

"I love you Astrea. Very much. You better believe it. Even if you have any doubts I will clear them all by showing how much I love you. I will drown you in my love that there will be no place for any doubts. But there are others ways to confirm my love you know, rather than making me go through all that."

"I know. I am very sorry." I hugged him tightly as if trying to absorb all his pain, then my brain noticed the fact which was placed at some corner of my brain with the current issue fighting its way to the front.

"Bloody shit!" I exclaimed pushing him away from me which resulted in him falling on the bed beside me in shock. "You are still as cold as ice!  What if you catch a cold or worse you might get hypothermia. I still remember they told us in some health class that if the coldness reaches the heart it stops beating! What the hell were you doing outside? Get under the blankets! I will start a fire! I mean increase the temperature of heater. You better lay on bed."  I stood up and started pacing and rambled on with worry. "I will bring more blankets and what am I supposed to do further? Wash you with wet cloth but I think that is done for fever! Should I add more blankets or would that cause you suffocation. What should I do? May be I should I call others? Oh wait! A doctor would be better right? He would deal the situation better. That's right! That's the best solution."

Finally arriving at the perfect solution I turned back to move but then suddenly I was on the bed. On Gouenji if I might add. I was confused and then my brain slowly replayed what happened for me. I understood then that Gouenji yanked me down to the bed onto him.

"What are you doing? I need to call a doctor." I said struggling in his hold.

"Don't go." He said rolling me and pinned me onto the bed.

"I already told you I am not going anywhere right? I am all yours Gouenji." I said caressing his cheek trying to make him understand.

"I know but still! Stay with me. I don't want you to leave. I was rattled when you left me in the morning and you were away all day leaving me with horrible thoughts. I don't think I can stay without for even a second."

"But I don't want you to get sick." I tried explaining.

"I know. I won't get sick."

"How can you say that when you are this cold?"

"Simple. We need to get my temperature back to original."

"Well genius how are we going to do that? Doctor would know how to and safely."

"I know how to do it safely. I am not a prodigy for nothing." He smirked and I was glad to see his original behavior slowly seep in.

"So how are we going to do that? We better do that fast before you freeze." He had that mischievous glint in his eyes and I wondered what he would bring onto me.

"Sharing body temperature always works fast." He said in my ear in a husky voice and nuzzled his head in my neck making feel slightly ticklish. Oh yeah! I remember in some book I read, to make the heroine gain normal temperature hero hugs her all night in front of the fire they started.

"Oh! So all I need to do is hug you and your temperature will be back to normal?" That's all? I was scared seeing that mischievous glint in his eyes and the smirk on his face.

"Yep, that's it." He answered lifting his face to look into my eyes but I still can't help but think that is not all. His hands came to my waist and he started lifting my T-shirt.

"Hey! What are you doing?" I exclaimed swatting his hands.

"Naked always works best." He replied smirking making my jaw drop. I knew it! That was not all! "Heat transfer would be faster that way."

"No way!" I answered holding my shirt down.

"So you don't mind even if I get sick or worse hypothermia? And I know that heart stops working if the temperature drop reaches it. That is a very critical situation and preventive measures should be taken so that situation doesn't happen." He said quoting my ramble from before.

"What happened to all this knowledge before you stayed outside in cold all day?"

"Well I was too busy sulking that my fiancée left me." He answered his index finger trailing down starting from my lips to the neck and then my chest seductively and I took hold of it before it can further continue its travel.

"I am not sure whether to be glad that your usual self is back or sad."

"Well, I am definitely happy." He answered his hands lifting my shirt up partly again. "I am really cold Astrea." He said his hand moving on my stomach and I shivered because of the coldness of his hand but nevertheless I became hot with the way he was rubbing my stomach, it was somehow sensual. His hand slowly started to up in temperature.

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