Chapter 60-I love you

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"Let's cancel our engagement Gouenji."

"What?" Everyone shouted shocked. I forgot that others are here. Even Gouenji was shocked at my sudden announcement if the slight widening of his eyes is anything to go by. I stood up and took his hand dragging him out to the balcony of the hotel. I will explain to our friends later everything very clearly but this conversation is one to be held in private. Gouenji followed me silently and his walls are up again guarding everything not letting me know what he is feeling.

In this moment I wish I could read minds so that I can know what he is thinking? I admit I would feel above the sky if he shows even a little disappointment at the cancel of our engagement. Though he may not love me I will feel happy, even if a little. I wish I am a fairy or cupid to turn his heart and make him love me. But that is the catch. Love is a matter of heart, it cannot be dictated by money, people or even our own mind. I wish I had the magic in me to make him love me.

"Why?" He asked me just one word preventing me from knowing what he is feeling even from his words and his voice is neutral.

"I know you might hate me after this but please listen to me completely and it was unintentional." I said looking at him guiltily and with pleading eyes. I don't know what to do if he leaves me after what I tell him. I don't want him to hate me. If he hates me what can I do? He is a master and I am sure his ways to avoid me would also be epic. I don't want to be away from him. I don't want to be hated and avoided by him.

Gouenji stared at me for a full on five minutes as if to predict what I have to say and I stayed silent under his gaze, mentally breaking down. I really don't  want to tell him all this and just marry him and make him mine. That will be very easy but very difficult at the same time. For one even after knowing clearly now if I go on with my plan that would be deception in its finest form and there would be no difference between me and the girls who plan to have him. I can't stoop that low and that wouldn't be fair to Gouenji. Secondly even if I marry him I can't have his love. In the future he might find his love and leave me and I don't want to have that and I am sure I will be in deep in the future.

I don't want to regret this in the future. No matter what happens I will tell him the truth and try for his love. I will try to express myself and may be I can turn his heart. I will try the very best I can so that I can turn his heart. What can/will I do? That I don't know since I barely know about love but I know that if I don't try I will regret it very much, so I will tell him what I feel. Even if he rejects me I will try and then may be sometime in the future I can forget him and find someone else. It will be hard to forget him since he is the first person I loved but they say time is a great healer, so it will heal. It have to heal.

He nodded after a full five minutes and I don't know where to start or how to start. I fidgeted with my hands and decided to start from the beginning. I am not sure what I am going to say and how I am going to convince him.

"You remember that I asked you to marry me for Dannon right?" I asked and he didn't reply but that should be expected. He is awfully silent scaring the shit out of me. Of all the time I have known him this is the most he scared me. I really want to turn around and run to the hills but I am forcing my legs to stand still. I can't run away. Nothing comes from running away, I have to face things head on.

"Just now I realized that if there is anyone in your place I would not have suggested that idea." I said taking a deep breathe and for the first time I saw an emotion flash in his eyes. I don't know what but it did. His posture relaxed a little. Can that be considered as a positive sign?

"I figured that I did that unconsciously and decided I can't make you go through such things when you are so kind and thinking of Dannon. I am very sorry for that! I didn't know then till now but I promise I will stay with Dannon so you need not worry and bind yourself to me for him. Whatever situation I might face from now on I will definitely find a way to stay together with Dannon. That is for sure and I won't blackmail you any day in any form. The thing I did previously was unintentional so forgive me for that. You need not tell anything to our friends, I will explain to them everything.

They won't question you or blame you. And my parents too! Don't feel guilty. For now I am going to let them think we are still in love. Don't worry about that because my parents won't do any harm. I will tell them we fell out of love and our relationship is not as strong as we thought, it was just infatuation. I will see to it that they don't blame you in any way. If anything drastic comes I will tell them all the truth so you need not worry. I won't let you suffer......."

He held his hand up, a sign to stop my chatter and my heart started thumping intensely inside. I am afraid I will get a heart attack in the next two minutes. Time seemed to slow down and I could see his every moment in detail. I never cursed his poker face more than now since I can't tell what he is thinking after my confession.

"What do you mean by you wouldn't consider marriage if there was another person instead of me."

Master is always on point and though I am trying to beat around the bush he pulled me straight to it. I took a deep breathe. Time to spill out everything.

"I want you to be with me. I don't want you to marry me for convenience or for Dannon but out of love." My head lowered itself since I don't have the guts to look straight at him. "I know if I marry you someday in future you might love another one and I will be in the way or you might leave me and I don't want that to happen. I want you to love me and be happy with me. I just want to tell you and let me try, maybe by some miracle your heart will turn to me. I know that is very selfish of me to ask but.....just let me try. I know it is difficult but I don't want to give you up without trying. I won't cause you any inconvenience with my feelings.May be someday it will heal and I might find....some..one.....but still I want to try. I swear I won't cause you any trouble." I finished my confession and I can feel my eyes watery. I held back not wanting to cry. This got to be the worst confession of the history.

"What do you mean by you won't me cause meany trouble? You always cause me any trouble." My heart cracked and whatever hope remained in me left me that second. I have to work on how to face him from tomorrow without causing him any trouble. As he said I cause him enough trouble already.

"And why would I love someone in the future and leave you?"

I know you hate females and loving one of them is unimaginable for you but love can thaw even your ice-old heart. That right girl can make your heart beat and make you love her endlessly.

"When I already love you with all my heart. My feeling won't change ever."

Yeah, yeah your feelings never chan..g...e......WHAT? I snapped my head up and looked at him finally having the courage to. Am I imagining things? Gouenji had a cocky smirk, the usual one which he always reserved for me. What is he saying? In a split second he pulled me to him by my waist and I stood still frozen from the shock. The words refused to enter my brain. Is he kidding with me?

"You are very unpredictable. I never expected you to ask me to marry me and now to confess openly." He said with a smirk and I could feel the happiness radiating from him. How you ask? I have been with him for so long and got accustomed to his poker face that I can detect his emotion unless he carefully schools his expression and guards them.

He glued me to his chest and I am still frozen nothing leaving my mouth or my body functioning. I just stayed limp in his arms. Though he is speaking in English I feel as if he is speaking another unknown language and I am unable to comprehend the meaning of simple English words.

"You put me to shame for trying to use underhanded methods." He muttered mostly to himself. Though he is saying he is ashamed there is a full blown smile on his face. May be delusions are true and that is what I am seeing now. May be my brain is refusing to let the actual words flow in and letting me hear what I wanted to hear. I am dead! I have gone crazy! Let me book a bed in an asylum. Is there any asylum where they treat people nicely and give them chocolates and ice-cream? May be I should get treated from home. Will they allow it?

Gouenji frowned. "Why do I get the feeling that none of what I am saying is going through?"

Because that's true! I have the feeling that you are speaking in Greek now!

"Astrea." He shook me lightly but still I don't know how to respond. Remind me how to talk again? I am pretty sure for that I have to open my lips and move my tongue letting some sort of words out.

"Wow! You straight on tell me everything and you freeze now?" I could detect amusement in his voice and my eyes narrowed. Glad they are responding. How could he find amusement in my misery?

A mischievous glint passed in his eyes. "May be I know how to bring you out from that shock." He said crushing me further to him, his hands tightening around my waist, his lips impossibly closer to mine. Just a small movement from either side we will be kissing.

"Before I forget." He whispered in a low husky voice his lips brushing against mine lightly. "You are mine. You are not going to forget me any day and you are not going to find someone else. I will engrave myself deeper and deeper in you such that you will not forget me just like you did to me." I could see the possessiveness in his eyes and still not sure what is happening. I mean Gouenji being possessive? That too towards me?

With those words he dove in directly and kissed me. HE KISSED ME! Bloody hell am I dreaming? If this is a dream I don't want to wake up ever. But the slight pressure on my lips and his soft lips on mine are not imagination. And he tasted the same like ever, very tasty and addictive. His lips slowly moving against my frozen ones sending tingles through my entire body.

My whole body was shivering with the effect and my legs gave up but Gouenji supported my weight. I could now feel every part of my body flushed against his lean one deliciously. I want to stay attached to him forever. Someone please hand me glue before he can escape! My hands came to his chest and he withdrew from my lips slowly and lingeringly as if he doesn't want to stop the kiss.

"So you are back finally!" He said a smirk present on his delicious lips which are very pink and glistening now from the kiss. The kiss is a very smooth and light one softly coaxing me to reality.

"If you continue to stare at my lips I would have to kiss you again." He said with a mischievous and happy glint. He was about to flush me to him and kiss me again but I stopped him urgently.

"Wait! Wait! Wait! I don't get what you are saying! What just happened? What are we doing? Why did you kiss me?" Coming out from the shock and free from the daze he put me in with his alluring kiss I was finally in panic mode.

"Don't panic. Calm down." Gouenji said in a gentle voice placing a gentle kiss on my forehead and tucked a stray hair behind my ear. "Let us go by things one by one till you get it. You always barge things through but doesn't understand a single thing when it comes to you." He chuckled absolutely amused. Why does he always find entertainment in my misery? I swear I will take revenge on him one day!

"So first of all we are ABSOLUTELTY NOT CANCELLING our engagement. We ARE engaged and we will marry immediately after we official graduate." He said lifting my left hand and kissed my ring finger which had the ring???????? When did he even slip the ring on my hand??

"We are not marrying for Dannon but because we want to, because we want to be with each other forever, because we want to make each other happy, because we love each other." I am sure I died and reached heaven now.

"See this ring?" I looked at it clearly. Till now I was in the impression it was someone else and never looked at carefully. It's a simple and delicate ring with a small thin band encrusted with diamond and the middle consist of a heart shaped pink diamond surrounded by small white diamonds. The band made from platinum is also embedded with small diamonds. It looked absolutely beautiful. Stunning!

                                              //Astrea's Engagement Ring//

"This ring not only makes you engaged to me but declares that you are mine. This pink heart shaped diamond is a symbol of my love for you though it could not even express or compare to the amount of my love for you." He said his eyes piercing into my soul drawing me into him. I could barely breathe and the world suddenly turned blurry and I could only look at him. All my five senses fixed on him feeling him every inch. I don't know when or how but he again pulled me flush against him.

"I love you." He declared his lips descending on mine again deliciously. This time he did not kiss me gently but with a passion which had my toes curling. My lips slowly started moving against his as if responding to his own lips moving. My hands moved from his chest to his neck and  unconsciously  into his hair. Unlike how spiky it seemed his hair is very soft and silky and I wanted to play with it forever. As soon as my hands reached started playing with his hair he grunted and kissed me more passionately that I am afraid I would faint any movement.

How am I supposed to describe this on-slaughter of emotions? I feel like a bloody zoo started in my stomach with butterflies flying all around, every part of my body sensing and responding to him. His lips moving against mine, I don't want them to stop. I want him to kiss me forever, show his love for me both with his words and his lips.

I love him.

Forever.

And for now I am the luckiest girl in the world to have love me back.

Miracles do exist!

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Finally! 

The End.

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Nah! Just kidding again! I am still not over with this book! After waiting for these many chapters to get them both together if it ends with just this I will be greatly disappointed! I need more fluff. He He! So till next update! (Oh yeah! I update weekly! Every Saturday!) Have a nice time! Read, Vote and comment!

P.S:This time the picture is not a tease!!*Wink*

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