ok kids quick note before we get into this, it's short, unedited and painfully horrible. also you might wanna go revisit chapter 12 to refresh your memory (also fixed a couple of plot holes in it) <3

I wake up to an unfamiliar heavy feeling on my torso. I yawn and rub my eyes, looking at my surroundings.

Oh god oh shit! How the f*ck did I let this happen?

These blue walls and white comforter are an all too familiar sight. This arm wrapped around me has chills and butterflies coursing through my veins.

HOW DID I LET MYSELF WAKE UP IN CHARLIE SIMMONS BED?!

I let out a sigh of relief as I feel that my trousers are still on me but quickly groan when I look to my left and see my shirt that had been tossed onto the hardwood floor. How great. I don't dare to move, I have to rack through my memories before I wake up Charlie and see his face. Ugh, I'm so dumb, so naive to have thought this could be a normal friendship. Everything's coming back to me now, all of it. His hands, his words, his touch. How could I let this happen?

Flashbacks of last night start running through my head.

-

"Hey Ace?", Charlie says.

"Yea?"

"What did you mean when you said you couldn't make friends because of your... history?"

"Oh well umm..."

-

I roll my eyes at my stupidity for sharing such deep and personal things with this boy. You see my friends, this is why I never open up. This is why I refuse to be vulnerable to random popular kids like Charlie Simmons. I always end up in their beds, or maybe just his. But still, learn from my mistakes.

I let out a heavy breath as I continue to pick through the web of memories.

-

"Ace I- f*ck can you ple-", I let out a small laugh at Charlie's struggles to speak through our kiss as I tease him by slipping my hand under his shirt. After a few more failed attempts at speaking he pushes me away from him so we're both sitting on opposite sides of the bed. "Sorry I just... I don't want to overstep and make you uncomfortable. I really like talking to you, Ace. I don't want to fight with you over this when your brain reenters reality and throws away whatever cloud it's in at the moment.", Charlie says sheepishly, looking down at his lap while fiddling around with the edge of the comforter.

I wasn't hearing a word of what he was saying. All I could process was that he's here next to me and I want to kiss him and hug him and cuddle him and do unspeakable things to him. When did I get this reckless? Oh well, who cares right? Let's throw away everything so I can feel something for once.

Charlie looks over to me waiting me to acknowledge what he's said. In response I crawl back over to him and smash my lips against his. He pushes me back so that his muscular body hovers over my tiny, scrawny one. Suddenly I feel insecure, but who cares.

Might as well just push everything away.

Might as well let him take off my shirt as I take off his.

Might as well kiss back motionless.

Might as well let him touch me.

Might as well crawl into his bed with him and fall asleep.

-

I mentally groan as guilt floods my tired body, waves of it crashing into my heart over and over again. Why did I do this? I mean we didn't do anything serious but I've always been told anything along the lines of what took place last night is wrong. If my mom was an actual living soul she'd disown me. Silent tears roll down my cheeks while I try to hold back my sobs. I could've had a normal low key friendship with Charlie. The ones where you hang out occasionally outside of school and play video games but no one really knows you're friends. Of course I had to go and fuck it up by kissing him.

I cringe at my own thoughts. I kissed a fucking guy and let him touch my fucking dick, and I'm not even gay! I was just lonely. Screw that whole 'I need to kiss him I need to hug him' shit. I just needed to feel something for once and Charlie was being kind and helpful and-

My pity party is suddenly interrupted when I feel the heavy weight of an arm lift off of me. I slowly turn my head to face Charlie who has his head propped up by his arm. Fear shakes my body to the core.

"Morning sleepyhead.", Charlie's eyes blink slowly as he grins a little. He glances down at my chest and back up to my face, expecting me to do what? Say something all gay back to him?
Shit, does he think we're some homo couple now?

No. No, no, no. Just no.

I quickly push the comforter off my body and sprint to my shirt that was strewn on the floor. I throw it on over my messy curls and with a quick look to a very confused Charlie I grab my phone and bolt out the door, down the stairs to the porch. I hear voices coming from the kitchen calling out Charlie's name but before they can wonder on out I pull on my shoes and race to the nearest bus stop, not even bothering to check them what route Im about to climb onto. My breath is heavy and my heartbeats racing. My mind is a swirling sea of confusion and disgust.

Ten minutes later the bus stops at a street close to mine. I climb off the steps and run all the way home. When I arrive I finally look at the clock above to oven in our small kitchen.

" 10:47AM.", I mutter to myself. The quiet living room tells me my mother must still be asleep. My phone beeps with incoming calls and text messages from Willow asking why I haven't texted her back all night but I ignore it and toss it onto the table.

I run my hands through my hair and decide to take a cold shower to wake myself up from this surreal haze. I let the cold droplets of water dribble down my face as I finally lets the sobs rack through my body. They come heavy, full of agonizing pain. The realization of the true, horrible human being I am hits me for the hundredth time today.

I stay like that for a little while longer. Standing under the shower head, letting the freezing water pound my back as sobs send vibrations down through my back.

How can someone feel so alone when they were in another's arms just moments ago?

:) I'm backkkkk! I won't lie the past few weeks have been shit and I kinda forget how to write so excuse the plot holes and inconsistent moods throughout this short chapter. I hope to be back to updating every week? Or maybe every two? On another note, I am completely overwhelmed and shocked by the amount of attention and support this story is getting. 7K reads?!? 300 votes??? Thank you all so much I'm truly honoured that people are enjoying this book! Also I was thinking maybe I could do a short like 600 word Charlie POV for the next chapter? Comment or message me if you'd like that or not please!

Thank you again i appreciate all the votes! xoxo