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"I saw that you were perfect, and so I loved you. Then I saw that you were not perfect and I loved you even more." – Angelita Lim

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Chapter 88
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When Luke and Levi told me of his state, I underestimated them. It was far worse than I could never ever expected. I'd never seen this version of Kade before.

His blood-smeared fists shielded his bruised face as his opponent slammed hit after hit into him. His skin was already beginning to bruise up, the leftover blood disguising some of the damage. I saw the cuts that lined the contours of his face, as well as his busted lip and swollen eye. His steps were slow, and sloppy-even I knew that.

The man was nothing compared to the ones he fought; Kade could have knocked him out if he wanted to. But, this Kade wasn't the one I knew from all the other matches.

I gasped as his head snapped to the side from his opponents right hook. Kade's expression didn't even change, as if he didn't even feel the hit. I watched him spit the blood out, barely missing the other fighters' foot.

From here, I could see his darkened eyes. His face remained stone cold as he managed to dodge a hit from the man.

My blood froze as I turned to Luke, who was pacing in his spot. "What do we do?"

Luke blew out a harsh breath before cursing. "We have to wait for this round to be over. I'll tell him you're here, and he'll get his shit together. If he can stop being so goddamned stupid, and just beat this son of a bitch." Both of our heads snapped forward at the collision.

Either side of the building roared into boos as the opponent slammed Kade to the ground. I grimaced at the impact, silently begging as I saw the air leave his lungs. My heart began to slam into my rib cage until it hurt as the man slammed his meaty fists into Kade.

I didn't even realize I was gripping Raven for support until I felt my nails dig into the skin of her arm. Slowly, I released my grip. Luke and I glanced at one another in a silent plea of desperation.

I saw Levi release Raven in the corner of my eye until he grew closer to the ring. His footsteps yielded before he slammed on the platform to get Kade's attention. I couldn't decipher his yelling, but by the urgency along his face, I knew he was just as wrecked as we were.

My fingers pinched down on the necklace tightly as I chewed on my lip. Even at the taste of blood, I didn't stop as I watched them. Whatever he said did alter Kade's route, though. If Levi had been a minute late, I wasn't sure if anything could have helped him.

His opponent grew predictable by Kade's slump form. I saw Kade note this as well, just before he grasped the man by the neck. My stomach fell to my knees as he slammed his opponent onto his back, his grip still around the man's throat. He used the back of his knees to pin the man underneath him as he slammed his fists into every possible bone along the man's face. I grasped my stomach as I heard the crunches of bone under bone.

"Shit," I hissed before I knew it.

Luke yelled something to his friend, but the blood rising in my ears made it impossible to decipher. He nodded toward me while his eyes remained on the stage. "I know. Imagine the bastard when he sees you."

My attention returned to the fight, which had escalated in the short time of the conversation. The fresh blood on top of the stage seemed to grow in batches as Kade continued on with his punches. The man remained in his position—in fact, I didn't think he was capable of moving any longer. The ref seemed to note this too as he lingered behind the two.

Kade seemed to fall back into his shadow as he lifted himself up by the man's still chest. The ref lifted Kade's arm to declare his win, and the building seemed to rattle under my feet as it erupted into screams and cheers. But, Kade's eyes remained still on his feet before he yanked his arm from the ref. Without so much as a second glance, he jumped the platform steps three at a time before storming off into a different direction. Levi followed right behind him before he motioned to Luke.

"Come on," Luke said, nodding to me and Raven.

"Wait." I paused, my brows scrunching. "What? I thought you were talking to him." They told me that all I had to do was show, not talk. I didn't even plan to see Kade ever again before yesterday, not intentionally anyway. Let alone, speak to him.

Luke's dark eyes shifted to the stage. I wanted to follow them, but the man's still body wasn't a pleasant sight.

"That was the plan, but a far away glance isn't good enough anymore," Luke said, beginning in the direction Kade left to. I pulled Raven to make sure she didn't get left behind. "You saw how fucked he was, and we're only on the third round. I don't give a fuck what you say, or what you do. Suck him off for all I care, just do or say something. Please."

My footsteps felt pained the closer I grew to him. For the first time tonight, I thanked the swarming crowd. Though it didn't last long since Luke shoved each and everyone until we were clear.

I glanced around at the lockers with my heart in my throat. I hadn't been here in a while, but I remembered it. As we continued down the hall, I heard the voices grow and grow.

They were mostly from Levi—angry, heavy curses and shouting. I barely heard Kade, but when I did hear the deep timbre, my gut tightened in anticipation.

Even if I would have known I'd talk to him tonight, nothing could prepare me. To hear his voice, to see him. It was like a bulldozer knocking me over.

My stomach began to roll as the nerves turned over and over. "I think I'm gonna be sick."

Raven gripped my arms to turn me toward her. I met her caring eyes as she glanced me over. "Kimberly, if you don't want to do this—"

I inhaled through my nostrils to try and soothe the brewing inside. It didn't help in the slightest. "I'll be fine." Just as the words left my mouth, I heard the door slam from behind me. I turned to see Levi march toward us with a frown as he glared at the ground.

"Fuck him," Levi hissed before flicking his head toward me. "Your turn. Go try and talk some sense into the asshole."

Raven wrapped an arm around his waist while the other remained on my arm. Slowly, I pried myself from it to step toward the door.

My fingers grazed the cold metal before I glanced back at the three. Luke and Levi stared back at me as they nodded toward the door. I caught glimpses of their sanguinity before I swallowed my fear.

I heard the click of the door far louder than needed. Without thinking, I shut the door behind me as I stepped inside.

And, there he was.

He hadn't noticed my presence yet. His head hung in his hands, his arms propped on his knees behind the desk. Even from here, I could see his body trembling. A couple towels, as well as rolls of gauze and tape sat on the table beside him, though he still wore the bloody wraps from last round.

My heart stilled in my chest the longer I watched him. I knew I had to hurry before the next round began, but in this moment, it felt as if time slowed until it were barely even relevant.

It was instinct to grab him, to hold him and never let him go. So I had to catch myself before I did just that. Instead, I cleared my throat.

He shook his head, though his stance remained the same. "I told you to get the fuck away from me, Levi."

My fingers clenched down on the necklace as I stepped forward. Suddenly, my tongue was as thick as cotton. "It's not Levi." That was the best I could manage before I felt the bile stir in my stomach.

His head shot up, his darkened eyes falling on me. I froze like a deer caught in headlights as he examined me over. If I weren't mistaken, I'd guess that he was trying to confirm that I was really here.

"Kimberly," my name slipped out of his lips as if it were the only one he knew.

It made my eyes squeeze shut. Just like that, the memories resurfaced and threatened to end me under their significance. I had to try and will them away, because there would never ever be any more of them.

I blinked away the tears as I stepped closer. Each one felt like a dumbbell hung to my calves, but I proceeded on until I was in front of him.

His eyes absorbed every move I made, before he sat up fully. Now that I was closer, the brokenness in his eyes caused my skin to sting. The bags under his eyes were accomplices to the cuts and scratches around his face.

"What are you..." he paused to suck in a tight breath, his chest shaking. "You're here."

The way he looked at me still earned the same reaction from my body, though I'd never admit it aloud. I had to will my heart to slow as I picked up the hand wrap.

"I'm here," I responded, attempting to keep my tone neutral. "But, you're not." My fingers barely purposefully missed his skin as I pushed his chair back.

I positioned myself so that I was in front of him. His fingers twitched to touch me, I could sense it. We were both repining for one another, but that wasn't why I was here.

"What are you doing?" I asked him, my eyes falling as I felt his own began to bore into mine.

"What?" he breathed out, his voice cracking over that simple term.

I glanced toward him again. His eyes were beginning to glint with tears as his fingers tightened around the table.

I willed myself to continue as my own welled up. Tonight would be the last time I spoke to him, and I couldn't get his or my own hopes up to something that would never happen again.

"What are you doing?" I repeated as I began to unroll the hand wrap. "You're getting your ass kicked out there."

Kade blinked, his eyes falling from mine as he swiped at his bloody nose. I parted his legs to stand between them, then grabbed one of his hands.

My chin trembled the longer I watched him. His fingers shook in my hand as he glared down at them. For the past couple weeks, I thought this wouldn't have affected him the way it did me. I thought that I was the only one stuck with the pain, but I was more than wrong.

"You're going to listen, and you're going to listen to me right now, Kade," I whispered, undoing his wrap. I begged my hands to stay steady, but I was good at this. Kade taught me several times how to wrap, so I knew the act well. "You're going to go out there, and you're going to do what I know you can do."

Kade's jaw tightened until I saw the muscle tick as he shook his head. "I can't—" He was so distraught, it pained me.

I continued with my wrapping as I shook my head as hard as I could. "Don't say that bullshit. Do you remember our bet? One of us do something we're afraid of, and the other do the same?" I watched his head slowly nod.

I was careful of his knuckles as I picked up the wrap. "This is it. It's your turn."

Kade glanced up at me so quickly, it knocked me off guard. His darkened gaze softened as he bore into my eyes. My heart slammed so hard it hurt the longer we watched each other. Finally, I tightened my grip around the gauze as I focused my attention to that instead.

"We've all seen what you're capable of, and you know it, too," I stated, steadying my voice. "So, do you know what you're going to do?" Without warning, I felt my voice crack as I handed off the last bet I would with him.

His penetrating gaze hung on my face for anything detectable, and I hoped I didn't give it. Because if I did, he would see the very love that still remained for him. That he couldn't have.

"You're going to walk out of this room," I stated as the necklace began to weigh a million bricks in my pocket. "You're going to get in that ring, and you're going to win. You're going to beat the hell out of all of them without another thought to it. You're going to make Chivo regret ever meeting you, and you're going to keep your winning streak. You can, and you will. My Kade doesn't walk away because he doesn't lose. My boy doesn't, and won't ever lose." I picked the towel up, and wiped at the spots I could get with it. Sucking in a breath, I nearly forgot to release it. "If...if you won't do it for yourself, then do it for me." I tilted his head back to get his nose, then swiped at the other wounds.

I placed the bloodied rag behind me, then went to drop his hands as I finished the last wrap, but he held on. I let my eyes bore into the ground below as the tears began to blur my vision. "I won't settle for less, okay?" My words fell into a whisper the longer his hands held mine. Even through the material, the heat began to build and build until I was ignited.

I met his eyes as the silence continued on. His own bore into mine, nearly telling a million stories by that once glance. I felt his fingers slip from mine before they travelled to my waist, pulling me in until he had me to him. I squeezed my eyes shut as the tears began to slip.

I heard his tearful sigh. His head rested on my stomach as he tightened his grip around me. As if I would disappear if he let go. I would, but not to his knowledge. So, I held on. This would be my last time being able to.

For the first time in weeks, the roar of commotion inside of me went quiet. The only thing that mattered was us. I never wanted to leave it.

But, I had to.

My hand stroked at the back of his neck until I felt his curls combing through my fingers. "Do it for me, okay?" I whispered, my voice breaking over the request.

Slowly, I managed to pull back, my fingers barely grazing the skin along his shoulders. His shiny eyes softened as he examined me over. Then, he stood, his height towering over mine. It looked as if he wanted to say something, to say so many things. But, there wasn't enough time. We both knew that.

His eyes jumped between the door and my own. Just as mine followed, Kade craned his neck. It was instinct as his lips fell on my own.

All of our tears mixed in as we clung to one another. I felt his chest relax against mine, the thundering of our heartbeats synchronizing against one anothers'. His lips burned against mine as his fingers so barely grazed my face.

This would be the last time our lips touched, and the very thought sent me into a frenzy for more. My hands pressed against his own to keep them there as I embraced the kiss with every ounce of love I would always carry for this man.

Just as Kade's hand pressed into my neck, I heard the door shake with a knock. Luke's voice rung through, alarming us of our time limit.

Slowly, we tore away from one another, yet his hand remained on my face. His forehead pressed against mine as his chest raised and fell all in one motion.

My skin trembled as I grabbed his hand. With my other, I reached for the necklace then placed it in his empty palm. Slowly, I brought his hand to me until my lips grazed the bruised skin.

"I need you, Kade," I whispered to him, my eyes itching as I watched hope slowly but surely, fill Kade's expression. "Win."

Kades' fingers tightened around the necklace as he slipped it into his pocket. He nodded, before leaning in, again. I squeezed my eyes shut to savor the electricity of his lips against my forehead. "I will. For you."

The door rattled as Luke shoved it open. His eyes bounced between the two of us before finally settling on Kade. Kade's expression shifted into a stone-cold wall as he strode past him, and back into the hall.

My steps were lazy. I wasn't sure if it were because of the worry or because of the intimacy. Either way, my body seemed to float along as we followed behind him.

"Did it work?" Luke whispered, staring at Kade's back.

I ran my sweaty palms over my jeans with a shaky nod. "I think, I don't know."

"We're about to find out," Levi added as he sauntered up to my side. "After Ray, it's Angelo. Then, Chivo." His tone dipped as he glanced over me to Luke, who was already staring back.

I didn't have it in me to try and decipher their plan right now. My only objective was Kade, and his victory.

As the speaker announced Kade's return, the people grew into a frenzy. My head began to bang around as soon as we neared the rowdy crowd. Before Kade even fully made it to the platform, he turned. His eyes found mine, immediately.

I grasped Raven's hand for support as I stared back. My heart slammed against my rib cages as I nodded at him. He was capable, he was more than that actually.

He nodded in return, climbing the steps. Finally, Luke and Levi led us back to our seats. It was as crowded as before, but still empty nonetheless. Our view was perfect from here.

"He's going to be fine," Raven shouted in my ear, linking arms. I offered a shaky smile in return before fully focusing my attention ahead as the bell rung out. Please let him be fine.

His opponent, Ray, was a skinny, but tall man. I hadn't seen much, but Luke warned me that he was quick in his footing. He had a few inches on Kade, but Kade had the muscle.

Both men watched the other for the first move, their bandaged hands in front of their faces. Ray was the first to move, his fist flying out for a left hit. Kade's feet shifted, his arm blocking the collision before the other slammed into Ray's stomach. I saw him gasp from the impact before he jumped back on his heels. His lips curled into a grin as he swung again, this time connecting with Kade's jaw, which barely moved in return. Even though he was quick, his hits definitely didn't hold the same strength as Kade's.

The longer the two fought, the more I caught onto Kade's routine. In his other fights, he went straight for the action. Since this time was six men, he was letting them swing and try to get him down to tire theirselves out. Then, when the opportunity presented itself, he knocked them out.

Kade dodged another series of hits, swiftly jumping out of the corner he led Ray in. Ray, whose face was bright red with frustration, released a growl as he toppled forward through the ropes. I saw him jerk around, eyes narrowed in rage. Before he could sustain his footing, Kade's arm lurched out to launch an uppercut. It sent Ray's head sideways, but before he could collapse, Kade swung his fist into the man's abdomen, then he leaped back just enough to be cautious before perfectly balancing a punch to Ray's jaw. The crowd sang in a harmony of screams as Ray collapsed to the ground.

"Shit, he's good," Raven shouted over the screams. I felt my lips lift in pride as I nodded. Even if he had missed some of his practices, there were enough of the others' to sustain him through the rounds.

Luke and Levi stood on either side of Raven and I, carefully examining over their friend. Luke cast a glance over me, a smirk settling. "You did good with the blowjob."

I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms. "I didn't give him a..." I shook my head. "You know what? Whatever."

Luke chuckled, his expression shifting with appreciation. "Listen...I'll admit this once, and only once...I think I don't hate you anymore."

I shook my head, bouncing my attention between him and the stage. "Really?" All I heard were the chants of Kade's name as the announcer shouted his win.

"Nah." Luke's dark blues danced with mischief as he balanced his arms over his chest. His eyes returned to Kade with a shake of the head. "Nevermind, I think I still do."

I chuckled, turning away. "Is he getting a break for Angelo?"

He sighed. "No, they changed it. He has to bounce between him and Chivo."