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"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." — Ferris Bueller ————————————————————

Chapter 8

My mouth fell. "What are you doing with my phone?"

His grip tightened around it. "That doesn't matter, why is he texting you?"

"Yes, it does matter," I argued. "And, what are you talking about?"

He tossed my phone toward me, which I caught. I glared at his back while I powered it on.

Carter: Are you okay?

Carter: I'm sorry about that asshole.

Carter: Please answer me, I want to know if you're okay.

I looked up at Kade's angry stature. "Carter is my friend, not that it's any of your business." I shoved the phone back into my pocket. "Why do you care if he texts me?"

When he turned to face me. there was no trace of emotion, not in his eyes or in his fair face. His eyes were narrowed, rigid, cold, and hard. In that moment I knew he was already far away from me. From reality.

"I never said it did matter," he argued. "But, you're not allowed to have anything or anyone while you're here," he stated. "Besides, he just wants a quick fuck. You're an idiot if you think otherwise."

I could feel my legs about to collapse from under me. I shut my eyes to try and help level my frustration. "Don't call me that, Kade."

"What? An idiot?" With a chuckle, he spat, "Fine, I'll call you a pussy instead."

My mind fogged up with emotions and my eyes felt heavy with tears. I felt my lip quivering, although I tried to hold it back. I tried to swallow my tears and not show my weakness, but my will was far too weak. My eyes itched and burnt from holding back a river of tears while my throat was so tight; I could feel a crack starting to form. I wished that I could push my emotions down so deep that I could forget them, but I couldn't. I never could. I wasn't even hurt with what he said, I was frustrated. I was angry, and exhausted.

In between the upturned volume of my heartbeat, I heard Kade's laughter.

How could he laugh right now?

"The crocodile tears, they're my favorite," he laughed, dangling a humored glare at me. "Can you quit being so weak about everything?"

My anger skyrocketed to the top of the tallest mountain on earth. "Take me home."

Kade paused once he heard me speak. His expression tightened before he allowed the black expression to overpower.

"I said take me home!" I choked on the few words I managed to say to him.

He grinned, turning away from me. "My pleasure, sweetheart."

I pushed past him to walk to his car outside of the home. I grabbed my things in hand before walking out. If I had any sense of direction home, I would have already hit the streets.

I hopped into his car with the little bit of strength I had left inside of me. My head began to pound at the remembrance of Kade's words.

I felt that common feeling of emptiness my mother had left inside of me.

I could barely recognize my my own screams as my brothers held me to the bed. "Shut. Up. You. Little. Ungrateful. Bitch."

I screamed with every hit my mother delivered my way.

Tears ran down my face in an everlasting stream. I felt my body weaken with every whip, lash, and punch my mother threw towards me.

I jumped out of memory lane once a door shut. My eyes flicked over to his direction before returning to my own.

Kade started the car up without a look my way. I was grateful his focus remained on the road.

I wiped my tears with the back of my hand, ignoring the saddened feeling that sat inside of me. I hated myself for letting words of an asshole get to me. And not saying anything about it.

We both sat in silence for the entire ride. I only welcomed the quiet.

The car halted to a stop. I nearly tripped as I got out. Without a word, I left an extremely angry Kade alone in his car.

I couldn't get to the front door quick enough. Pausing with the key midway in the lock, I made the mistake of turning back around.

I caught Kade's eyes quick enough to capture the apologetic look in them. He sat in the car while watching me intensely, yet bits and pieces of anger still remained.

I wanted nothing to do with it.

As I searched the quiet house for my brother or father, I felt a sense of relief that neither of them were here. They would ask too many questions that I had no responses to.

I slammed my things down on the kitchen counter. I knew that my anger shouldn't have been directed at my bag, but at Kade.

With only bits of energy remaining, I dragged myself to my room. I threw myself on the lonesome bed, glared up at my cracked ceiling.

"You're the idiot, bitch," I mumbled to the ceiling.

I shoved a rough patch of air out. "You couldn't have said that earlier?" Guilt bit at my being at the fact that he made me freeze up.

"Fuck him," I whispered to myself as I rolled over.

Since it was only morning time, I pondered on things to keep me busy. Without anything to occupy me, I decided that I would take a nap.

Once sleep took over, the nightmares came with it.

"What did you do, idiot?!" My eldest brother, Steven yelled.

I felt fear arise inside of me at the sight of him. "I-It was an accident." My small, seven year old body tremors at the sight of him.

He picked up the spilled carton of juice, throwing it at my head. "You call this an accident?!"

"I-I'm-" Before I could finish, a sharp sting across my cheek cut my words off.

Steve hauled me up by my arm, yanking me towards him. "Get the hell up. I'm not done with you yet, you little brat!"

I screamed, and screamed, and screamed. But no one ever came to help me. No one.

I could do nothing as his clenched fist came across my reddened face. I sat there and endured the pain directed my way. That's all I could do, sit there and take it.

"Bring the iron, Lakeyn!" he yelled toward my other equally excited brother.

I shot up in my bed, my body drenched in sweat. My hands frantically searched around me for any type of sign that I wasn't in that terrible place.

I continued to grip the blanket in my wet hands in a form of comfort. I massaged the soft blanket in between my fingers, continuously holding to the belief, the plead that I was okay.

A knock from down the hall caused my heart to jump in fear. Reluctantly, I swung my legs over the bed.

My heart edged closer to danger with every step taken toward the door. I hated feeling this way. Ever since I left Illinois, dreams like that hadn't occurred in a while.

I yanked open the door to find Carter standing in front of me. My hand came laid against my chest as he watched my fearful expression shift to shock.

"Oh, hi Carter," I greeted from my awkward stance. "What are you doing here?"

A warm smile dressed his handsome face. "Hey, is this a bad time?"

Yes, I just finished having a mini heart attack and crying over a guy that has my secrets in his hands. "No, it's a good time. Was there something you needed?"

He scratched the back of his neck. "Yeah, I wondering if you had the notes for..." he paused and his blush grew evident.

"Yes?" I pressed.

His eyes fell before snapping back up to mine. "Listen, I lied about the notes...I was actually wondering if you would like to go out some time?" His words were rushed, but I managed to realize what he was saying. "With me?"

I knew I was struggling to hide the disbelief in my expression. "I'm sorry...what?"

Carter chuckled, the sound strained. "Please don't make me repeat it, again. I don't think my heart can handle it."

"You want to go out?" I blinked at him. "With me?"

"Yes, I do," he answered as if this were just a casual conversation.

I had to remind myself that it was.

He was still waiting on my answer. This time it was my turn to blush in embarrassment. I couldn't help but wonder if he was intoxicated or something to ask me out.

All I could do was stare at him. And leave my mouth dangling.

"So, uh...is that a yes or no?" Carter asked, rocking on his heels.

Kimberly, answer him!

I had to remind myself of how nice Carter had truly been to me. Maybe he did like me. Even if he didn't, I could have fun. Like dad said, I had to take chances.

"Yes, I would love to go out," I paused, blinking again. "With you," I copied him.

A smile lit up Carter's face. The sight alone brought one of my own along with it.

"Great," he breathed out, his shoulders dropping with relief. "What time would you like me to pick you up tomorrow?"

I clenched my doorknob. "Tomorrow?"

"Yeah." He nodded before pausing. "Unless that's a bad time?"

Since my life was as dull and routinely as possible, of course I had nothing to do. But I would have no time to mentally prepare, procrastinate, and overthink every single detail.

I decided to just go along with it. "That's a good time, actually. How does seven sound?"

His smile seemed to get brighter each time. "Perfect. It sounds absolutely perfect." He flicked his head at me. "I'll see you tomorrow beautiful."

I blushed at his words, telling him bye in return. I tried to remain casual as I shut the door even though my insides were squirming with fear.

Leaning against the door, I looked up at the ceiling in deep thought. Who in their right mind would want to go on a date with me?

Was it a date?

It had to be. No guy asks to go out without it being a date. He wanted to go out on a date with me.

"There's something wrong with him," I confirmed for myself.

I perched myself up on the sofa. I felt a smile growing at the thought of going on a date with someone as sweet as Carter. Maybe my time here wouldn't be too bad. Maybe.

I walked back to my bedroom to soak all of this up. My phone sat untouched on the small nightstand next to my bed. I looked at it for the time only to find out that it was only two o'clock.

The thought of the date hit me like a train. What were we going to talk about? God, I could only imagine the awkward silence.

But I had to take a chance.

***

The next day passed in a blur since dad wasn't home. But, he still called and one of his first concerns were where I'd been. I told him that I met a friend, we went out and it was too late to go home.

I read most of the day, then researched the do's and dont's about outings.

I was pathetic.

It was embarrassing, really. I was seventeen years old, yet I'd never been on a date. Nor had I been out with friends. Hell, I never had a real friend before. It was all new territory to me, but I tried to tell myself all I could do was my best.

Still trained on the concept of dating, my eyes began to droop again. The consequences of staying up late met up with me once my eyes shut.

Shouting forced me out of sleep before I could even meet it. "Wake up!"

My brother stood over my body, a grin occupying his smug face.

With a sigh, I lifted myself. "Why are you all smiles for?" I grumbled.

"Get up," he demanded, grabbing my damp hand in his, and pulling my body from the bed.

"Why?"

Ryland pulled me toward his body, his arms squeezing once he had me. "Because I wanted to give you a hug."

I didn't return the hug just yet. "For?" I pulled away to get a better view of him.

His green eyes dropped before meeting mine again. "Because I wanted to say I was sorry for drinking and yelling at you. I know how you feel about both and I fucked up," he apologized.

"Plus, I kind of hate when you ignore me," he admitted around a sigh.

I smiled at the sincerity of his apology. Ryland barely admitted to his mistakes, but when he did, it touched my heart.

"I forgive you. It's not okay, but I do forgive you," I admitted, squeezing him in return. "Just please, don't do it again. At least not when I'm around."

He nodded his head in agreement before grinning. "Damn, and I thought you were going to make me work for it. Well I guess I brought these home for nothing." He tossed a bag of Cheetos toward me.

I grinned as I caught the bag. The thought of Kade, the fear of my upcoming date, the fear of my next dream, all of it became lost in the Red Sea once the bag of chips hit my hand.

"There's that hideous smile," he joked, leaning against my bedroom door.

I wrapped my arms around him. I hugged tighter this time, my heart warming.

"I have something for you, too," I offered up.

I felt his body tense against me. "Should I run?"

A mischievous smile turned my lips as I brought my hand to his hair. I ruffled it before he had a chance to react.

"Kimberly, seriously?!" Ryland snapped the way I expected him to as I hurried down the hallway.

Dad's voice boomed from wherever he was,"What are you two doing?"

I left Ryland to have his fit while my legs carried me to my father.

"Hey, Kim," he acknowledged me.

I walked closer to him, allowing a soft kiss to be placed on my cheek. "Hey dad, how was work?"

He pulled out a chair before glaring up at me. "Don't try to butter me up, Kim; I could tell you were lying just by your voice. Now, tell me why the principal called alarming me that my daughter was not in school Friday."

Shit.

Ryland appeared in my view. "Didn't I tell you?" he offered a half-smile. "I picked Kimberly up early since she was having some stomach problems."

I hadn't even realized he came into the kitchen until now. But I owed him one.

A sigh of relief left me as I silently thanked him.

But dad wasn't accepting it. His dark eyes left me and went to his son. "Why didn't you call me, Ryland?"

I jumped in, "We did try to call you, you wouldn't pick up."

He watched our expressions for any traces of lying. I kept my blank stare as did Ryland. Our past practice had came in handy; I was never good at lying on my own.

I nearly cheered as his shoulders fell. "Fine," he relented.

Even though Ryland and I were mere feet apart, I could sense the relief behind his calm attitude.

In order to get the topic off of me, I turned toward the refrigerator. "You guys hungry?" If I started now, I'd still have enough time to get ready.

"Duh," Ryland responded.

I searched the fridge, my lip caught in between my teeth. "Spaghetti and garlic bread night?"

"Fuck yeah," I heard my brother express his enthusiasm behind me.

My dad, the mature one, patted my back. "That sounds perfect, baby. Just let me go get a shower."

I nodded in return, turning away to grab the ingredients.

"Aunt Celeste texted me," Ryland told me.

"Saying?" I asked while searching for the noodles in the cabinet.

"That you can start your job Tuesday afternoon."

I faced Ryland to see a look of uncertainty on his face. "Are you sure you want to do this, Kimberly?"

"Yes, I am. I'm sure," I responded. "Besides it's normal for teens my age to have jobs. And, I'm trying to get to normal."

With a heavy sigh, he nodded. "Fine."

I mustered a smile, motioning toward the ingredients. "Good, now help me with this."

After an hour of cooking, and arguing with Ryland about the way things should be done, we all sat down to eat. I decided that I would only eat a small portion since I had no idea if Carter was taking me out to eat or not.

Of course, both were quick to devour the food on their plates. While we conversed, I realized that I needed to tell them about Carter.

"What's wrong, lovely?" Dad addressed me, noticing my lack of appetite.

Both men were protective over me, since all we really had were each other. Me being the only girl in the family only made it worse, adding onto the fact that I had a family that hated me back in Illinois.

"I'm fine," I reassured.

Ryland glanced my way as he poked at a meatball. "You sure?" He cursed as it slipped off of his fork.

I laughed at him, earning a scowl. "I'm sure."

They began talking about a sports event, giving me enough time to wander off into my thoughts. Into the dream.

There was something wrong with me. There had to be. That was the only answer I had at the thought of my dream about Kade. It was quick, but it was there, nonetheless. It had to mean nothing.

Even in my dream, as I gazed into the devils' eyes, I couldn't help but feel attached to him. He hurt my feelings and robbed me of my privacy in so many ways already, but something about him dug it's claws into my head.

Like a moth drawn to a flame, it knew better than to go near the heat. Yet, it didn't care if it got burnt, because it had experienced something different. Before it fell, it had experienced the curiosity, the heat of attraction.

I shook myself a little too hard. Yeah, there was something badly fucked up there. I shouldn't have any feelings of attraction toward someone like him. I could surely admit to his exterior being attractive, but his insides trumped anything else.

"Guys, I'm going to my room," I told my dad and brother.

I left before they could ask any other questions. I hurried off to my room, my chips awaiting me in there.

Before I even made it to the hallway, I turned around. "And, I'm going on a date tonight."

"What?!" I heard both of them yell in union as I slammed the door to my bedroom.

"Well, that's one way of doing it," I chuckled at myself.

I glanced at the time on my phone to see it was five o'clock already. I had to get ready.

I hurried to get in the shower then dried myself. As I rubbed my cherry scented lotion onto my exposed skin, I glanced at my appearance in the mirror.

It wasn't a big statement, but for me, it was more than I usually did. My upper half was covered in a long-sleeved burgundy top, and my lower was in a pair of jeans.

My hair curled at the ends, bouncing with every step I took. Instead of high heels, I went for pumps. God knows I didn't want to scar the boy by breaking my neck tonight.

I leaned in closer to my mirror to wipe a smudge of lip gloss off the corner of my lips. I scanned myself once more before exiting my room.

"Are we clear?" I heard Ryland's voice ask.

"We are," Carter answered.

Shit.

I practically sprinted down my hallway before I caught up to them. "Ryland, what are you doing to him?"

"I was just—" Ryland's voice ceased once his eyes landed on me.

I felt my body heat rise once I saw Carter's jaw nearly break from hanging.

"Whoa," his chuckle was nervous. "You look amazing."

"Remember what I told you, kid," Ryland warned as he narrowed his eyes at Carter.

I shot daggers at my protective brother. "Ryland."

Dangling a grin at me, he shrugged. "Have a good night, little sis."

Dad flared at Ryland too before kissing my cheek. "Bye, baby." His eyes jerked over Carter. "Treat her right, boy," he said to Carter with a soft tone, although I caught hold of the warnings held behind it.

"I will sir, I promise," Carter responded, upholding his respectful composure.

I shut the door behind me, grateful to leave them. The rush of air slapped my skin, despite the long sleeves.

Carter noticed. "Let's hurry, and get you to the car."

He