Okay so updates- 1. I changed Kade's little brother's name to Kacen! 2.It's been asked of me a lot, soo there will be about three Kade POV's before the book is over. 3. There will be one epilogue. 4. Come back to this picture after you've finished the chapter! & 5. This book needs MAJOR editing lol so if u see random updates, I'm just editing chapters!

Now thank you lovelies for nearly 700K readers! 💕 Enjoy 🤍.

"You touched the place in my heart where love runs wild." — Perry Poetry

Chapter 62
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Ryland stood opposite side of me, hands on hips, and lips pursed before looking at me. "Hand me another."

I reach into the bag of ornaments, placing another into his open hand. "Ryland, at this point, we're never going to finish."

As expected, Ryland was extra careful while decorating the tree. He observed the area for any sign of mistake, and if he deemed it unfit, we'd restart the entire thing.

"Damn it, the red looked better over there..." he trailed off as he bent to pick up some more of the ornaments.

The hem of his shirt lifted from his torso, the black ink claiming my attention. I couldn't see much, but the tattoo had to be large.

I wrapped one of the tinsels around from top to bottom. "Ryland?"

Though he was too enticed with the crookedness of my decorations, he answered with a, "Mm?"

I smacked his hand as he reached over to undo the red tinsel. "How badly did your tattoos hurt?"

He scowled, but grabbed a candy cane from the pile. "Not much really, just depends on where you get it..." he paused and glanced at me from the corner of his eye. "Why? You planning on getting one?"

I shrugged. "It didn't seem like a bad idea. Just a little one on the wrist."

He turned his back to me, lifting his bottle of water and taking a sip. "It might hurt a bit, but it wouldn't be unbearable."

I nodded. I was turning eighteen in nine days, and since the day was never one I truly enjoyed, I thought why not do something to actually be excited for. It would have to wait until I got back from Grandma Jacky's since I was still seventeen, but it would be done.

"What do you plan on getting, kid?" Ryland interrupted my train of thought, nodding down at me.

I thought about it, twiddling with the stocking in my hand. I didn't want a massive tattoo, but I wanted simple, yet meaningful.

"A butterfly," I responded. "I want a butterfly."

Because, for the first time in my life, I was free. I was content on my life. I was genuinely happy; a butterfly, being so tragically beautiful and able to take flight any time to explore this world. It was the closest thing I could think of.

I could see Ryland piece it together in his hand. He said nothing, but his eyes softened as he nodded his head. A small smile danced across his lips as he placed a candy cane on the tree.

"You know, I haven't been around much because of work and school, but I'm proud of you, kid," he said, his voice growing softer by the word. "I know you've gotten new, good friends, and maybe even a boyfriend for all I know, but still. This is all you, kid. I'm proud you were able to grow into a confident young woman."

I smiled up at him. "You and dad were my biggest role models, Ryland. I've learned that I have to live for the present, not for the past or the future. Because I'm here. In this exact moment, and that's what I can make the most of."

His head dropped, chuckling, but when it raised, I saw the glint in his eyes. The adoration, the pride. It made my heart warm.

He placed the garland down, stepping over the box of ornaments to come closer to me. "Alright, Dr. Phil. You're still my baby sister though, so don't go around thinking you're the shit either, got it?"

I smiled, falling into his comforting embrace. "Never."

He was right. Though my friends, Kade, and my family played a large part in my healing and growth, I did as well. I was there for it. I fought through it. Not only that, but I had to give myself credit sometimes that it was okay to congratulate myself on my victories in this life.

I stepped back from his embrace, sucking in a tight breath. "Ryland, uh—"

At the same time, he glanced at his watch, eyes growing wide before meeting mine, again. "Shit. I have to get going. My shift starts soon at the bar, but I'll be back before six." He squeezed my arm as he passed me to go and get dressed.

Fuck.

In this sweet moment, I was going to throw in the fact that Kade and I were together. I hadn't mentioned it to anyone besides my friends because, well, I never knew the ties between Ryland and Kade until it were too late.

I wasn't certain how Ryland would react, but I wanted to let him have a heads-up before I left for Grandma Jacky's. His reaction wouldn't change our relationship, but it sure as hell will be bad.

Kade beat him up when they were children, but then again, they were kids. Though, Ryland had been messing with Kacen, who was most definitely smaller than him at the time.

But, they were also men, and men tend to hold grudges when one overpowers the other.

I couldn't lie, a part of me was skeptical to putting Kade back in an environment where things could turn physical. But, I could also trust him, and myself to remove him from the situation if things did get to that point between the two.

By the time Ryland left, I'd gotten a shower and dressed. I was pulling on my jeans when I heard a knock at my front door.

I shut the door to my bedroom, stepping into the hall at the same time I heard someone call my name.

The voice belonged to Kade, but I still found myself worrying at the urgency of his voice.

As I turned the corner facing the door, there he was. Standing in front of me, hands clenched tight as he examined the room with fearful eyes.

His expression was one of pure rage, but when his eyes met mine, his aspects softened deeply as he stepped to me. "Oh, shit." In two strides, he had pulled me into his arms.

I tried to pull away, but his hand cradled my head to his chest. "What's going on?" I returned his embrace, instead.

I could hear the heavy drum of his heartbeat. His chest thumped against my ear as he held me at arm's length. "Why didn't you lock the door?" I could see the panic swimming in his eyes as he observed me for any bodily harm. "Damn it, baby, why didn't you lock the door?"

I smiled at him to soothe his worries, but from the looks of it, I did no such thing. "Ryland must have forgotten."

Kade nodded, his lips frowning at my answer. "Sweetheart, I thought you were hurt." He sighed, both hands on either side of my head as he pulled me in for a kiss on the forehead. "God, don't do that." The agonizing tiredness in that caused my heart to ache.

"Nothing's going to happen to me, alright?" I placed my hands on his face now, my thumb softly grazing the skin of his jaw. "See? I'm here. I'll always be here."

I knew why he was so fearful. After having Kacen, the only person that he'd ever loved, ripped from him in such a violent way, I was sure this only increased his worries for me.

We stared into one anothers' eyes, one full of doubt, and the other of reassurance. His began to soften as he absorbed my confidence, his tight expression dropping.

"I love you," I stated, the words tickling my lips as I said them. "So much."

Kades' lips twitched, his hands gripping mine as he lowered them to his lips, kissing my palm. "I love you. Forever."

***

The next couple of hours were full of conversation. He told me about the cages, about his mom and Louise, about him. I matched his conversation, and even got him to help with the tree since Ryland had to leave so soon.

I wrote Teresa's name on a stocking. I decided to use head straight for the next subject. "So...I've decided I want a tattoo."

Kade glanced up, eyebrow perched at my sudden confession. "Really?"

I nodded. "Mhm, a butterfly."

He laid an ornament down, raising himself up to come closer. "Where?"

I raised my left arm, pointing to my wrist. "Right here, it might hurt a bit more, but I can handle it."

I glanced up at him when he didn't respond. I wasn't not sure what I expected, but I surely didn't expect his expression to be so blank.

I dropped my arm in a hurry once I remembered. The scars.

I blinked, and Kade was kneeling in front of me.  He placed either side of his hands on my thighs, his thumb rubbing as one hand went to my wrist. "Don't hide from me, sweetheart."

I felt my body tingle with emotion as his soft lips pressed against my scars before he tilted my chin to meet his. "You're still as beautiful as the very first day I saw you in the park. You could be covered with scars, bruises, any damn thing of this world, and I would still fall in love with you, even harder, every single time."

His lips touched my wrist again with each word. "Every. Single.Time."

I felt my spirits uplift as I stared into my lovers' eyes. I nodded my head, letting his words seep into my soul by the second.

He stood from his spot between my legs, pulling me beside him onto the couch. "When were you wanting it done?"

I shrugged. "Sometime after my birthday. It sucks I have to wait till I'm eighteen, but it's fine."

Kades' eyes watched me with a glint. I couldn't tell what it was, but when he began to type on his phone, I asked, "What is it?"

His wicked grin caused my stomach to twist and turn with nerves. "What would you say if I said you could have it today?"

I stared at him with a confused face. "I would say that's impossible."

He shrugged, leaning back into the sofa as he waved his phone in the air. "Where do you think I got my ink? I got my first when I was fifteen, or was it fourteen..." he pondered the question before shrugging.

"How?"

His white teeth gleamed at me. "A friend of a friend. AJ's cool, plus he doesn't ID."

I rubbed at my wrist as if I could already feel the needle in my skin. "I think I want to, but I'm not sure..."

Kade shrugged, powering off his phone. "It's up to you, sweetheart."

I thought about it in a mindless bunch. I wanted to see the outcome of the tattoo soon, but then again I could wait a couple of more weeks. But, that only gave me a bigger chance to chicken out.

I grabbed hold of Kade's arm, nearly sending him into shock as I grinned at him. "Call him."

By the time we got to AJ, the sun was beginning to sink. I didn't mind, but nothing seemed to soothe my uneasy feelings.

I asked Kade a series of questions the entire ride there, which was about an hour. He never seemed to get annoyed, instead, he seemed quite amused at me. Which only made me even more nervous.

AJ was an African-American man with a head full of dreads, and piercings in every spot visible to eye. I gave up counting the number of tattoos as time went on.

When we walked in, AJ peered at us through his booth and came running. "Wassup Ryder!" In the quickest moments of my life, the two did some type of man hug, and reminisced on the good times. I did note the heavy scent of marijuana in the building, but I didn't mind.

After having their emotional reunion, Kade's hand gripped my side softly. "This is my girl, Kimberly. Kimberly, AJ, my tats guy." AJ removed his sunglasses, even though we were inside, and slammed them onto the counter.

AJ's jaw dropped, his reddened eyes feigning despair. "My tats guy? That's all I am to you, man? After all these years, and all these memories." Sucking in a sigh, he turned toward me, offering a heavily covered hand. "Nice to meet you though, Kade's girl."

Kade rolled his eyes at his friend as I shook his hand. "Yeah, man, I know." He flicked his head at him. "She was wanting a small tat on her wrist really quick. Think you can do it?"

"You fucking with me?" AJ grinned, his lips curling as he chuckled, and slammed Kade and I on our shoulders. "Hell yeah, I can. Get your asses in here!"

"We're already in," Kade chuckled, leading me along with his hand to the small of my back.

I told AJ what I wanted, nearly tripping over every word as I saw him begin to set up his booth. I didn't see anyone else in the building so if I ended up bolting it out the exit, at least it'd be far less embarrassing, now.

AJ chuckled as he noticed my fearful demeanor. He swept a dread out of his face, nodding at me. "Don't be afraid. You know how many people get tattoos every day? Guess."

Despite my nerves, I found myself chuckling. "I'm honestly not sure."

He blinked over his statement. "Shit, me neither...it must be a lot, though, right?"

"It has to be," I responded.

His head bobbed at Kade. "Ryder, look it up—"

"No," Kade responded.

I chuckled, side-glancing him. "Can you?"

At my request, he pulled out his phone before I stopped him. "Nevermind, I don't want to know." I moved my attention back to AJ. "Let's just guess that it's a lot."

His eyes widened at me. "Exactly!" His face went slack with concentration before he shrugged. "So if you think about it, they must not be that bad, then."

"Besides, Ryder is right here," he nodded toward Kade who was indeed pressed into my side, his hand gripping mine. "He ain't gonna let shit happen to ya."

I felt my chest jump with laughter as AJ sprouted out, "Kiss the damn girl, Ryder."

And, that he did. I felt my spirits loosen even as AJ touched me with the needle. My body continued to shake, but I didn't feel the premature feeling of an anxiety attack so I remained grateful.

I wasn't sure how much time passed but as it carried on, AJ and Kade helped keep me calm. AJ and I talked while he worked. He and Kade made me laugh, and AJ even ordered pizza, but he ended up accidentally ordering five in his venture. It was a funny sight.

Kade's physical touches continued to hold me down to cloud nine. It was a perfect balance, and by the time we were finished, I was still alive and well.

Well, not well. I still felt like I could throw up, but I hadn't. That was all that mattered.

AJ grinned at his work. "There! See, that wasn't too bad." He stood up, high-fiving himself, his hair bobbing as he chuckled. "You know, sometimes I'm so fucking amazed by my work."

My attention fell from him, and to the art. "Thank you," I breathed out as I admired the tattoo.

On my left wrist were two butterflies, one stacked on top of the other. Both were outlined with black but still so, so beautiful to me.

He rubbed his hands together. "Anytime, Kade's girl. Now, you two lovers, grab a slice of pizza, and get out of my shop. I need a moment to think over, and just appreciate my talents."

I noticed Kade already reaching for his wallet, but I beat him to the punch. "What do I owe you?" I asked as we walked to the front.

AJ shook his head, waving my hand away. "Nah, it's on the house, I liked you plus, me and Ryder go way back. And, as long as Ryder beats Chivo's ass in the ring, you both get free tats & piercings for life."

I felt my heart sink at the mention of the reminder, but I knew there was nothing I could do but have faith in Kade to win. I was afraid every time we grew closer to the date, but with all the time Kade had put in, I was sure he would take the win. At least I hope.

"Does it hurt?" Kade asked from the driver's side as he drove. "You've been quiet."

I lifted my head from the window, smiling softly at him. "It's kind of hurting, but it's not unbearable."

He reached over to grab my hand in his, making sure to be careful of my wrist. His thumb rubbed at my favorite spot, causing my smile to grow as I glanced at him.

He was only going fifty-five miles per hour. I felt my heart warm as I realized he had the car on cruise mode.

I nodded at him. "You can go a bit faster," I reassured. "It's fine."

When we were talking over our boundaries, and approaches to each others' triggers, he had mentioned how guilty he felt every time he had put my life at risk in this car. When I'd read about borderlines, I remembered a couple of things about the adrenaline feeling that speeding could bring to them.

Kade said the feeling of racing, even in his regular vehicle, was one unmatched by any euphoric drug. But, that he realized he wasn't just living for himself anymore, nor was he the only person in the car. Since then, I noticed every time we went onto a highway, he put his car in cruise mode, never going over sixty.

I saw his hands loosen around the steering wheel. He glanced at me, before looking back to the road. "You sure? I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

I nodded, squeezing his hand. "I trust you. Sixty-five is fine."

He hesitated before raising the speed. Just as I opened my mouth to speak again, Kade's phone rang out.

He picked it up, glancing over the screen, before setting it back down. "I've never seen that number."

The sound ceased before it started up, again. He rejected it twice, but the next time it rang, he picked it up.

I watched his eyebrows grow tight as he glanced over at me. I mouthed 'what' to him before he lowered the phone.

"It's Raven, she hung up, but she's at your house," he passed on. "She said you need to get there, and that your brother has lost his shit."

I felt my expression tightening in confusion. I wasn't sure why Raven was at my house or what had happened. I knew it couldn't have been my dad or Teresa, so that calmed my spirits a bit. I didn't know what could have caused Ryland to lose his shit so easily considering how good our morning was. We were only a couple of minutes away, so I wouldn't have to think on it for long.

"What are you thinking?" Kade questioned through the silence.

I glanced down at my tattoo, suddenly feeling the pain intensify. "Honestly, I'm not sure. Maybe Raven just popped by, and Ryland had a bad night at work, or something?"

He was thinking hard about something. I could see it even in the dark. "What are you thinking?"

Kades' knuckles began to whiten as he clenched the wheel tighter than ever. "I think I have an idea why."

Before I could ask any more questions, we were pulling into my driveway. I was already outside before Kade could reach my side.

Raven's car was parked behind Ryland's. I hurried to the front door, which was cracked open.

Before anything, I heard the yelling. It was coming from Ryland, but I could hear Raven pleading with him to calm down.

From the sounds of it, he was far from calm.

I felt Kade grip my arm, pulling me to face him. "Are you sure you should go inside?"

I nearly gaped at him. "He's my brother, Kade. He wouldn't do anything to hurt me."

I pushed open the door, not bothering to close it since Kade was right behind me.

The sight awaiting me was one I never expected. The tree was knocked down, all of today's decorations to waste. Everything in the living room was out of place, shoved into different positions.

Ryland was the cause of it all, but nowhere to be found. Raven was in the corner, her manicured hands shaking as she saw me. She hurried over to me.

I grasped hold of her shoulders. "Raven, what happened?"

Raven's hazel eyes were wide with disbelief.