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"Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence." --- Helen Keller————————————————————

Chapter 27

"I'm not hungry," Kade muttered, his glare deeply situated on the comforter.

I sighed. "You need to eat." Tightening my hands around the bowl, I stared at his half asleep expression.

He shook his head. "I don't have to eat."

"Yeah, and you don't have to argue either," I snapped before huffing.

I had been attempting to feed him this damn soup for what seemed like an eternity. At this point, I was contemplating on shoving the food down his throat.

I'm losing my mind.

His brown eyes came into play, shooting daggers at me. I looked away from his glare, and instead placed the bowl down.

I rolled my eyes at him. "Fine, starve."

Pressing my hand to his forehead, I was ecstatic at the fact that the fever was beginning to die. "Do you feel any better?" It'd only been a couple of hours but he seemed a bit better.

My guess was that he mixed his alcohol with something else, or someone had done it for him. I didn't think he was high, but if he had smoked, it was definitely laced.

Kade nodded, his eyes shutting again. I watched as he was quickly pulled into another deep slumber, his snoring being similar to the sound of a baby's. My lips twitched at the sight before I stood.

I stood up, the quiet atmosphere biting at me. As I stood, I glanced at Kade to make sure he was alright before I left the room.

"Sleep tight," I murmured at his figure.

I left his door open just in case of emergency, and walked down the long staircase. His house was truly beautiful.

I continued to admire his home, allowing minutes to pass. For some damn reason in the midst, I texted Raven to call off the ride, so I was stuck here.

Instead of going back to his room, I decided that I could watch a few movies to let the next couple of hours pass by more quickly.

After I decided on a few movies, I plopped down on the comfy sofa. I let the movies play, but my mind still continued to wonder off about my dad and brother. The thought made me freeze.

In my adventures, I had forgotten about both of them. I didn't come home, call, or even text all night; they must be worried sick right now.

I hurried and paused the third movie I was on. Walking back into his room, I was about to push open the door before Kade's voice caused me to stop.

"No!" I heard him in a series of struggled grunts.

I didn't hesitate on coming in. My eyes fell upon his shaky figure, my concern worsening.

Again, his body was slick with his own sweat, strands of hair practically glued to his forehead. His eyes were closed like he was asleep, but his yells were loud and clear.

"Leave me the hell alone!" Kade shouted, his lips curling into a scowl. He shoved the blanket off of his form so hard, I gasped.

I froze in the situation. I didn't know if there was anything I could do to help him anymore, if it was even possible.

"Please," he whimpered, every ounce of vulnerability appearing across his expression.

He must be having a nightmare.

I edged closer to him. "I'm here," I said, though I knew he couldn't hear me.

I clutched his hand, watching as he calmed. At a slow pace, but calm nonetheless.

Carefully, I slid my hand up his damp face. It was obvious he was running a fever, so I knew that I would have to wet another towel sooner or later.

I ran my fingers through the tips of his hair. His whimpers died down slowly, along with the fever. I had no idea what he had taken, or what he was given, but the effects were terrible.

I had to admit, it was troubling seeing Kade this way. Usually, he was so blank, so confident, and energetic, but now he was the opposite of those things.

I walked into his bathroom, in search of more rags. I came back to him, his eyes still shut as he slept.

I placed it against his head, my mind clogged with worry. Most of it was directed at the thought of what type of scolding I would receive once I returned home.

As I watched him sleep, I continued to escalate my own doubts. Why was I here? Why was I taking care of someone who thought so lowly of me? And, why the hell hadn't I gone in search of the very start of it all? My diary.

I didn't have any answers, nor did I think I wanted to. Everything was so carefully thought out in my life, but when it involved Kade, I didn't think. I didn't know if that was a bad or good thing, most days.

I despised him most days, other days not so much. Time after time, I continued to ask myself, what did I do to him? I had heard many times that if someone hurt others, they were hurt themselves. But I'd never even seen Kade until I started my senior year. Maybe there was something I missed, or Kade had me confused with someone else.

When I first saw everything he had, I genuinely thought his life was perfect. But after everything I heard, I knew that it was far from that. Was Kade truly hurt? How badly was he effected by his own hurt, and was it enough to cause him to hurt others? Was that the reason he continued to taunt me, and to steal my diary?

My diary.

I could find it. I could get it back right now, and leave Kade here to fend for himself. Then, I could carry on with my life and never be bothered with him again.

I cursed my dad for all of the selfless lessons. I wanted to be incredibly selfish right now, but I couldn't ignore that bump of guilt along the way.

I knew in another's eyes, my actions were idiotic. I knew it was naive to hold onto my kindness, but this was my life I was living. For someone who was barely given it my entire life, I promised to give what I hadn't received for the rest of it.

If I was to get hurt by getting so attached to Kade, then so be it. I would learn my lesson, and keep moving forward. But, if Kade and I were to work past our differences, and be kind to one another, then that would be it. Either way, life would go on.

"I should call Ryland," I mumbled to myself, reaching into my pocket.

As I held the phone in my hand, I gazed at it leisurely. I didn't even know what to say. I knew that if I told him the truth, he would be on my case in a heartbeat, demanding me home but, that would only add more fuel to the fire.

Ugh.

I shut my phone off, placing it back into my pocket. I decided to just tell him later, once I returned home.

Since it was a school day, I knew that my father would soon be getting a call from the principal. I didn't know when exactly, but I knew without a doubt that it would happen. I would be in trouble later, but I'd think of a lie.

I stood, walking back down to where the paused movie was. I played it, sitting back down on the comfortable sofa. After an hour, the film ended. "Good movie," I murmured as the credits began to roll over. I hadn't even paid the least of attention.

"Kimberly!"

My eyes shot up to the staircase at the sound of Kade's voice. For a second, I thought I imagined it before—

"Come up here!" I heard his voice once again.

I hurried up the stairs, my worry increasing. He was asleep just a minute ago, but now it was the exact opposite.

"I'm right here," I said as I stepped next to him again.

His body remained in the same position as it had before, temp. transitioning between hot and cold. I leaned closer to him, inspecting a scar in the crook of his neck. It was shielded by the dark ink, but I caught on.

Wonder where that came from. Before I thought about it, my fingers lifted to graze the scarred tissue.

I jumped as his hand raised first. His hand stroked my hair, his fingers gliding right through as a chuckle left his mouth.

"You're so beautiful, sweetheart," he whispered with another chuckle.

I frowned at the drawl of his words. Obviously, what he was given was strong, because the normal Kade would have never spoken these words. Maybe I had accidentally drugged him. I wasn't planning to be a nurse by any means, but hell.

My lips lifted into a smile. "Just go back to sleep, Kade."

He half opened his eyes, revealing the drunken glint. I wasn't sure if it were the medication I gave him, or whatever the hell he drunk. I raised up from my position before I felt his hand wrap around my arm.

"Lay with me, sweetheart," he mumbled, voice low.

I shook my head, though I was sure he barely noticed. "I'm not going to lie with you, Kade." The thought left me flushed, but I still chuckled at it. "I'm trying to take care of you."

His laughter was soft, followed by coughing. "You're always trying to take care of other people, aren't you?"

"That's what nice people do, Kade," I mumbled, removing the towel from his head.

His fingers danced across my hand. "Hey, I can be nice too," he slurred.

"I know," I agreed so he would rest up. "Here, turn on your side just in case you throw up again."

"Having your hands on me?" he chuckled, slowly but surely shifting to his side. "Shit, I'll do whatever you want, sweetheart."

I shook my head, walking over to his dresser. Opening up each section of the piece of furniture, I searched for a shirt to change him into to. It was the last thing I wanted to do, but his vomit stained shirt was too unsanitary for the state he was in.

As I rummaged through the drawer, I smiled once I came in contact with his shirts. I pulled one out, but frowned once a white envelope fell beside my feet.

The hell?

I picked it up, my eyes scanning over the neatly written address on top of the letter.

To: Kade
From: Your Father

I covered my mouth to withhold my surprise. I had only heard bad things about Kade's father, and from what I learned, he had treated his own family like shit.

Then, why would he write to Kade? The one who had seemed to suffer the most at his father's hand.

I ran my hands across the back of the envelope. There were no signs of it being opened, and that pushed my curiosity even more.

Instead of listening to my curiosity, I used my head instead. From past encounters with Kade, I knew better then to dig into his privacy again. Especially with something that hit so close to home.

I knew he had my diary, but something felt...wrong about this. It wasn't my business, and that part of Kade's life was much more complex than I could understand. If we were to be peaceful, or even friends, there had to be some type of mutual respect.

I placed the letter back down, hiding it between the mass of shirts in the drawer. I shut it softly, my eyes flickering back to Kade.

My hands felt weighed down by my guilty conscience. Even though I hadn't opened the letter, I still felt disdain toward myself at the fact that I had even thought of opening it and digging deeper into Kade's past. It was all so conflicting considering he had a part of me, possibly somewhere in this room.

"Hey," Kade smiled as I turned to face him.

To see him influenced by the hallucinations were a bit troubling, but also humorous at the same time. "Hi," I smiled in return, placing the shirt next to him.

"You're beautiful, sweetheart," he mumbled, staring my face down.

I chuckled, my cheeks flushing. "Yeah, you've told me that already." Even though I knew he didn't mean it, the words still had the same effect.

I grabbed both of his hands, preparing to sit him up. Before I could continue, he squeezed my hands in his, bringing one up to his lips. They were cocked in a smirk as he left a searing kiss right on the back of my hand. I stared at him abnormally, my mouth agape.

"Well, I'm telling you again. Your lips, your hair, your body, your tears, your smiles, all so beautiful," he complimented, his voice soft.

I ignored his compliments, and tugged on his hands. "Let's get you up a bit." If I listened any longer, I might fall out. This man was lavish, and the smallest things he did or said could leave a girl flustered for days.

His sly smile stood directed right at me. I had to drop my gaze from the intense stare. "Anything for you, sweetheart."

Though he complied with my actions, his sudden compliments still came head on at me. Kade's body was still frail from the influence, but not as much as before, which was a positive for me.

"I told you I could be nice," he slurred, pressing his back against the headboard, a crooked grin on his lips.

"Mhm." I folded up his old shirt, placing it down. "I guess I should have listened."

I sat down at the end of his bed, watching him carefully. I couldn't help wondering how he had ended up like this? Whatever this was.

Where had he gone; who was he with? Someone had obviously given him some type of drug, whether it was intentional or not, but why?

The first thought made sense. It was possible that he was involved with street crimes, since that would explain his absences at school, and the random marks and cuts along his skin. That could also explain why he was the way he was, perhaps someone had gotten angry at Kade and given him something to keep his body down for a while.

I shuddered at the thought.

"Kade?" I whispered to the half-dazed guy in front of me.

His attention fell on me, low hooded eyes glazing. "Yes, pretty girl?"

"I have a question," my words were shriveled by the fear.

It wasn't fear for Kade. It was fear that I would hear the truth. And, that was what I hated most in certain circumstances, no matter how badly I wanted to hear it.

I swung my leg onto his bed, clasping my hands in my lap. "I want you to be completely honest with me right now." It was strange, but with him, I didn't feel as if I had to request that. Kade was a truthful man, no matter how badly it hurt you.

I dared myself to continue as I met his gaze. "Where were you? How did you end up like this?" I motioned over his figure.

He looked back into my eyes, as well. I searched for any emotion, but finally his laughter broke the anticipation.

His head fell back against the headboard, adam's apple bobbing as he laughed. Finally, he swept one hand through his hair, his eyes falling to mine again. "I can't tell you that, beautiful girl."

I sighed. I knew this wouldn't be easy, nothing ever was with Kade Ryder. Even if he always told the truth, he made sure to make you work for it.

I didn't plan on giving up so easily. "I just want an answer, a clear answer of what you do."

His voice hit all the way to my toes as he hummed for a moment. "Lay with me, sweetheart," he suggested, shutting his eyes, again.

I frowned, refusing to burn away my curiosity. I wasn't backing down from what I needed to know, not anymore.

I nibbled on my lip. "If I lay with you, will you tell me what I want to know?" I questioned, trying to beat his game.

He peeked one eye at me before shutting again. "How about a story?" he suggested, flipping the script.

I sighed, my patience wearing thin. "Kade, how's a story going to—"

My words were cut short by the development of a deep scowl. "Then I guess the both of us will be going to bed unhappy, sweetheart."

I sighed, mentally palming myself in the head. Walking to the other side of his bed, I laid on top of the sheets, but the large space managed to keep me and the 6'4" resting-bitch-faced man away from one another.

Kade's smirk never left his pink lips as he adjusted to his side. As if we were best friends. "Comfy?"

I nodded, eager to learn what I had been wondering for so long.

He propped himself on an elbow, his eyes raking over me with a growing grin. "I love seeing you in my bed, sweetheart. I think you'll look even better under—"

I scowled, shaking my head. "Don't even—"

Kade chuckled, his tongue raking over his bottom lip. "I've never been good at this storytelling bullshit, but here we go. There was a guy, who needed money for shit. Let's call this guy..."

Kade looked to me for suggestions.

I glared, crossing my arms. "Kade."

He shrugged, that silly grin returning. "Fine, you suggested that name though, not me."

"Anyways, this guy, Kade loved to hang with his friends, and his friends loved to hang out with troublemakers. Well, Kade, of course loves to make trouble, so why not join these people?" His words were both tired and weak as he shifted to his back.

"Now, this son of a bitch always saw this on television, but never first hand. But, the shit made him feel alive and the money was incredible. So, of course, being the kid he was, he decided to give it a try."

The entire time he was speaking, his voice never cracked. Instead, he held his composure, his words only upholding pride in the things he had done.

"He never felt anything like it. The rush, the wind hitting your skin as you beat it to the punch for the finish line. He had never tasted such adrenaline in his entire life. But, once he received his first taste, he wanted more. Three years later, Kade still can never get enough of it. It's his addiction, his entitlement to this fucked world. Among other things."

I was a smart girl. I knew this, my family knew this, my teachers knew this. School wise, at least. But, I still couldn't piece the puzzles together. My mind trickled off into the different things he could be talking about, but I didn't believe them to be accurate.

"Let's just say," he mumbled. "Alcohol with a couple of strangers that already hate Kade and his friends was not a good mix," he chuckled.

"And, I guess winning the race didn't help against the fuckers either," he smiled, mumbling the last words of his sentence.

I stared at him, my mouth forming an 'O' as the pieces connected so incredibly slowly, it ached. Finally, my brain put it together.

"You're—" I couldn't finish before he did it for me, "Sleepy? Mhm, I know." His eyes shut slowly, a ghost of a smile on his face as he buried his head into his pillow.

As he drifted off into sleep, my heart continued to tangle against it's restraints. I could hear my own heartbeat in my eardrums as I dared to finish my sentence once his eyes closed.

"You're a street racer."