Ella's POV

I wake up cozily in my bed as everything from last night explodes in my brain.

Ugh.

Well, atleast it's a Saturday.

I wonder what I should do today.

Community service? Help at the elderly centre? Lie in bed all day watching Jane The Virgin on netflix with the love of my life beside me, food?

I'll go with the third option.

I take a shower and put on my Strawberry scented shampoo and strawberry body scrub. Yes, I do love Strawberries.

I put on something comfortable because I have no plans of leaving my room unless I need food.

~☆~

A few boxes of tissues later.

~☆~

"That was . . . beautiful." I cried as I watched the credits roll in on the screen of my laptop.

I have no idea what time it is but it's pretty dark outside so I'm gonna head downstairs now to get more food to start a disney marathon.

My eyes are probably bloodshot from all the crying because of the movie.

I head downstairs and Ashton is playing video games with Damien. Oh well nothing new.

I meet Damien's cold eyes and his eyes flashes an emotion of concern but the again, who wouldn't be concerned about a teenage girl whose hair would make a great bird nest, who looks high and stayed up in her room for the whole day?

I enter the kitchen and grab 10 packs of oreos...thats not enough I'm taking the whole thing.

Then, I take some soda and other snacks before setting them on the counter as I make some popcorn.

"Hey." A voice says from behind and I jump and squeal in shock.

And I look at the source and put my hand on my chest and let out a sigh of relief when I just see Damien.

"You scared me, you jerk." I say in a playful tone.

"You okay?"

"What are you talking about?" I frowned in confusion.

"You were crying?"

"Oh, yeah, yeah, I was just watching some sad movie." I shrugged.

"Oh...girls." he mumbled under his breath.

I roll my eyes at him and when the popcorn is done, I grabbed everything in my hands, heading for my room but not before reminding Damien, "I'm still mad at you!"

~☆~
Trigger warning! This part contains self harm!

"You're the reason he died you know...and you know it." He says and my eyes begin to water as he straddles me.

The man I loved would say this to me. All those happy times feel like nothing to me now.

He rips the top of my shirt and I freeze not able to move.

"S-s-st-op...please...I thought you love me...don't do this..." I stutter.

"Oh darling. I do love you, this is my way of showing it, you know? You're perfect in every way, a man would be crazy not to want you." He says, smugly. "I didn't want him to die . . . it's all your fault. You killed him. You killed your own father."

I wake up from my nightmare in shock thinking about everything. I needed water.

I head downstairs and look for a glass then fill it up with water.

I recall what happened 2 years ago. It was at night...

It was late at night and me and my dad were driving back home from the grocery store. We were singing to random songs and having fun when suddenly the car broke down in the middle of the street and there were headlights blinding my eyes but that didn't stop me from hearing my dad saying "I love you Ellie."before he wrapped his arms around me and everything went black.

I cry at the kitchen counter standing thinking about it. Then something shiny caught my eye. A knife.

Would it take the pain away?

I take the knife and sliced my skin on my arm. I bite my lip in pain then I drag myself sitting down with my knees near my chest and my head buried in my knees while my right hand holds my left wrist and cry from mentally and physically pain.

I hear footsteps but don't bother to look.

"Oh god Ella what the hell happened?! How did you- who did that?" Damien asked hysterically.

I sob and look into his eyes and say,

"I did," very softly and in a whisper.

He gasps and his eyes turn to an emotion of confusion, worry, concern.

"Why?" He looks at me with disbelief and sadness.

I look at him and hug him and start crying even harder.

"I don't want to be here anymore. I want to stop the pain! I don't want to go through this again! It's my fault he died..." I cry out loud.

He pulls back and looks at me in the eye.

"Ellie, please don't say that. We need you here and you have so much more to look forward to in the future. You haven't planned out your life yet and that's what makes everyday even more exciting. It's these moments and days that you should look forward to. You don't have to feel the pain if you are ready to move on. You'll only start healing when you've realised not everything is your fault." He says.

"Really?" I ask through teary eyes.

He nods.

"I'm sorry for troubling you late at night like this...I'm gonna head up first." I say to him and went to the stairs.

End of triggering part.

"What? No, you never trouble me." He says. "I'll help you clean your cut. We don't want it to be infected."

I nod.

We silently walk to my room and into my bathroom.

"Where is the first aid kit?" He asks and I point to below the sink.

I carefully hop on the marble top and let him do his stuff.

Once he was done, I look at my bandages hand and thank him.

"I'm gonna go sleep." I say. "Thanks for tonight."

"Do you want me to sleep with you? Just in case you have another nightmare." He says.

"Sure." I say smiling.

His face lights up like a Christmas tree and follows me to my room.

I lock the door to make sure Ashton doesn't get a surprise tomorrow.

Damien lies on my bed and pat the space next to him and I jump on the bed and pull the blanket over me.

Soon, I feel Damien's arms around my waist. So, technically spooning me.

I blush and slightly smiled.

This feels so right, yet so wrong. Right because I like him. Wrong because he has a girlfriend.

_____

Edited.