Chapter Thirty-Nine- It's Not A Game
Julian's Pov

I was still fuming from the conversation I had with her brother and hiding it from her was beyond difficult. I had to pretend everything was okay. She would cry herself to sleep every night and I would have to sneak out to hit the bag but that wasn't helping as much as I had hoped it would.

Two days and I felt like I was betraying her and lying to her by not telling her I called her brother, but I didn't want to tell her because it wasn't good news and I didn't want to hurt her more. 

I went to my session with Robert, we had been talking about it and he was encouraging me to tell her the truth. 

"Hello Julian." He said as I sat down.

"Robert."

"Hey Julian." Kylie opened the door and she didn't look happy with me

"Yes Kylie?" I asked as pleasantly as I could.

"What the hell is your problem, you couldn't at least be pleasant on the phone?" she crossed her arms

"The asshole started it, he's fucking lucky we weren't having that conversation face to face or I would have beat his ass." I was pissed off all over again. Who does that?

"You need to get over it." she rolled her eyes

"Fucking fantastic advice Kyky." I smirked when her fury level grew

"Julian." She growled out and looked over at a confused Robert so I tried to straighten out my act. I sure he suspected something but he didn't know we were family.

"Am I going to stand in the hall all day?" an annoyed voice asked and Kylie stepped aside and I frowned at him

"Who the hell are you?" I asked 

"Drew Chandler." He crossed his arms and stared me down and the only thing stopping me from basking his face in was Kylie standing between us and Robert holding me back

"Cool it." he told me and I struggled against him

"That's enough Julian." Kylie yelled and I relaxed and pushed Robert off me when he loosened his grip

"You're fucking lucky." I threatened

"Julian Cole?" he asked shocked. He looked like he spent a lot of time working out and I'm guessing he didn't expect me to be twice his size. He was taller than Bailey but he still wasn't exactly tall.

"He signed a NDA didn't he?" I asked her

"Or course he did."

"Great so if I broke his nose he wouldn't be able to tell anyone." I stepped towards him amused when he immediately stepped back.

"Stop it." she hissed and I remained where I was, staring him down.

"You should get him away from me." I told her because I didn't trust myself not to take a swing at him.

"You're not going to hurt him." she rolled her eyes and I was dead serious when I looked at her

"I wouldn't bet on that." We were locked in a staring match when Robert, the voice of reason, had to open his mouth.

"You won't because that's not something you want to explain to Bailey." Damn him, why did he have to mention her name. I sighed but backed down because he was right. It would hurt Bailey if I hurt him and it would disappoint her too.

"So play nice and don't let Bailey know he was here." 

"She's my sister, I can see her if I want to." he said cockily to her and she whipped around to look at him so fast I thought she would fall over.

"Let's get one thing straight Mr. Chandler. This is my facility; my rules and you don't see anyone or go anywhere unless I say so. You are not authorized to visit Bailey and if you do I will call security and you will never set another foot in here again. Are we clear?" she asked and he nodded

"Yes ma'am." And she left. She loved all the patients here but after Lacey's suicide she took on a special protectiveness over Bailey.

"Why can't I see her?" he asked me 

"Because she's already in a fragile state and Kylie doesn't want you pushing her over the edge." he glared at me not seeming to like my answer well the truth fucking hurts.

"Don't be so dramatic. Bailey will be fine, she's stronger then she looks." 

"And how the hell would you know that?" Robert had us sitting down because apparently we were less likely to attack each other this way.

"She's my sister." He said like it was obvious.

"And you abandoned her. You don't know her and you don't know what she's been through."

"I'm sure she's been through a lot." He said sarcastically.

"Yeah, she has." I spat 

"Was detoxing too difficult for poor Bailey? She brought it on herself." He leaned back cockily and Robert put a hand on my arm again because he was seriously pushing it. 

"Actually I've never seen it so bad but she handled it amazingly and she's going to do great." He shrugged

"She's still a junkie." Robert held tighter

"You watch your fucking mouth or even Robert won't be able to keep me from slamming your face into a wall." I warned and he visibly swallowed hard. I scared him, good. Old habits were hard to break and I was finding it too easy to be the violent person I used to be.

"Why did you call me?" he asked like this visit was beneath him

"Because I thought that maybe you gave a shit about her, sorry I was wrong. You can go now." He frowned at that.

"I do care about her."

"Bullshit!" I yelled not being able to contain it. His attacks on her and his cocky attitude was pissing me off, if it was his goal I didn't care.

"You don't know anything about Bailey and I." 

"I know you abandoned her when she was fourteen and never looked back and I know that you showed back up to taunt her short comings, that you told her you couldn't wait until she detoxed, hoping it would be hell for her."

"She deserves it, she's stupid and reckless." 

"Do you hear yourself?" I asked annoyed with him "She made a mistake and that one mistake doesn't define her as a person." 

"It was a big mistake." He shrugged 

"How can you say you care about her but do this to her?" I asked because despite how pissed off I was I was extremely confused.

"Because she deserves the hell she's going through for getting herself into that situation. She made her choices and needs to deal with the consequences." 

"She needs support, people to help her and care about her success or she's not going to make it."

"She needs to be stronger then." He wouldn't look at me

"I don't just mean she'll relapse I mean she won't survive." 

"She almost overdosed before and it's possible it would happen again." he agreed but he just didn't see where I was coming from.

"I'm afraid of her killing herself." There, I said it. I just needed to reach out to him because I'm terrified I'm going to lose her and I need his help.

"Why would she do that?" he asked alarmed

"She's fragile right now. She's been through more than you can imagine and she's just getting worse."

"What else is there for her to go through in here?" he was back to his none caring attitude

"Try being sedated because she was ripping her wrists apart with her nails not even realizing it, try a mental break down from finding her best friends dead body after she killed herself, being covered in Lacey's blood, being put on suicide watch." 

"What?" he asked in horror, yeah imagine having to live it, dick.

"She cries herself to sleep every night. She cries out in her sleep and she tosses and turns. She's not sleeping well and it's taking a toll on her on top of." I paused not being able to say it right now. I was calm and trying to reach out to him, trying to get him to understand.

"How would you know?" he asked angry, forgetting the part about Lacey that I just told him

"What?" I asked not understanding the question

"How would you know any of that? How would you know anything about her while she's sleeping?"

"Because she sleeps with me." it wasn't a big deal. 

"Isn't that against the rules?" he clutched his hand into a fist and released repeatedly

"Technically." 

"How the hell is that allowed?" he looked to Robert who looked away, not getting into it. "Does all that money buy you access to my sisters bed?" he was livid but in my opinion he had no right to be, he didn't get to choose what things were worth caring about.

He didn't have the right to play big brother when he didn't give a damn about her struggles. 

"No but Bailey's choice gives her an open invitation to mine." Which was the truth and it wasn't my fault he took that the complete wrong way, I did tell him on the phone she was following her promise.

"You son of a bitch." He took a swing at me which I easily blocked before I shoved him against the wall, getting in his face.

"You are testing my patience and if you take another swing at me I will not hold back." I gave him a shake before I stepped away and Robert sighed in relief, on his feet beside us ready to break up a fight.

"Don't you fucking touch her." he glared from across the room.

"I don't take orders from you." I liked when he was angry, it amused me.

"Leave her alone. If you're worried about her mental state then end whatever it is now before you make her fall in love with you and then leave her. I know all about you and how you treat women; do you even remember their names afterward?"

"No I don't remember most of them let alone their names, it's all a blur." I addressed first.

"And does Bailey know who you really are?" he was getting cocky again

"Of course she does. She knows more about me than anyone aside from maybe Robert." 

"When you get out of here you're going to abandon her just like I did, why make it harder?" he asked me and I took a breath and counted to ten to calm down.

"Bailey is my girlfriend and I'm not going to abandon her."

"Girlfriend? My sister must have turned into a whore then." Robert held me back again because he has no fucking right to say that about her.

"Bailey is not a whore you fucking prick and if you don't keep your mouth shut I'll shut it for you. I don't give empty threats just fucking remember that. You watch your mouth about my girl." 

"You don't even know her."

"No, that would be you because you never cared to. She's sweet and caring, she's innocent and had an obsession with Disney movies which drives me fucking crazy but I secretly like it. She's precious and real and you don't deserve her love that she continues to give even after what you did to her." 

"Julian." Robert said when I found myself right in front of him

"She's strong and can keep a secret better than anyone I know. She's in love with Frozen right now and when she always wants to watch it but when she's happy she sings along to all the songs. When she's really depressed we have Disney marathons and I slowly watch her start to find some joy and sing alone to them. She's insecure because of those fucking people she used to hang out with and because of the way her family treated her. She can't stand your parents but she fucking adores you for some unknown reason." 

"Not enough." He mumbled

"How the hell could you say that?" 

"You wouldn't understand." 

"She's still a virgin because she promised you then she was twelve that she would wait until she was married. How can that be classified as not loving you enough?"

"There is no way she's still a virgin." He seemed very surprised

"Oh she is." 

"You haven't slept with her yet?" He asked me suspicious 

"No, I haven't and I'm not going to any time soon." 

"But you plan to." he picked up on the fact I didn't say I wasn't going to.

"Maybe, it's a little early to start thinking about marriage." Sort of, I haven't thought much on marrying her exactly, more along the lines of I can't see my future without her and I never want to let her get away.

"You would marry her?" 

"Maybe. I love her and I guess we just have to see where things go." 

"You love her?" he scoffed and I nodded

"More than anything." I didn't have to think about that.

"I've see how you lived.-"

"Lived, not how I'm living now. Most of those things are true except I don't have any kids. I'm not the person I was when I was an addict." 

"So if she came to you nak- unclothed and asked you to have sex with her you wouldn't?" 

"Well Bailey naked would certainly be distracting but no I wouldn't." I knew I wouldn't exactly be innocent but I wouldn't take it that far.

"And I'm sure being the saint you are you would make her put her clothes back on." more sarcasm 

"Well if she wants to sleep naked I'm not going to stop her and probably not. I'm not the person I was but I'm no saint either. Just because I'm not having sex with her doesn't mean I don't want to or don't think about it." I was being honest and he gave a sharp nod

"At least you're honest." 

"I'm not going to lie about my feelings or desires for her. She's perfectly aware of them and we deal with it." I shrugged

"You like pissing me off." he eyed me

"I do." I agreed

"Then why not say there was more going on with you two?"

"You mean why not say crude comments about mine and Bailey's none existent sex life?" 

"Yes." 

"Because My feelings for Bailey are real; I love her and she loves me. Our relationship isn't a game and I'm not going to lie about it either. I'm happy with how we are and taunting you with that would show that she was something for me to use and she's not." 

"You're willing to give up sex for her?" he asked 

"Yes, without hesitation." He held my stare, waiting for me to break it or give any hint that I was lying but he wasn't going to find anything and he did something I never expected, he smiled.

"Okay, now can you tell me how she's really doing?" he asked me and It was like he wasn't him, the sudden change threw me way off.

 So Drew... what's everyone thinking of him

And since you guys may be able to tell by now about my Disney obsession... what is YOUR favorite Disney movie and for some fun drop some lyrics to your favorite song or your favorite line in that movie :))))