Chapter Forty-Three – Important Conversations
Julian's Pov

I know she was shocked to hear it but I didn't throw out the possibility of marrying her one day. Anything could happen when we left here and I just hoped that we could be like Kylie and Caleb because if not it may kill me to let her go.

I knew just by spending these months with her that I couldn't go back to the kind of guy I was before, sleeping with a woman and not even remembering her or her name, hell even if I did remember I don't want to. I don't want to be that kind of guy anymore, I want to be the man Bailey makes me feel like I am.

She hugged her brother and I was happy I called even though the guy was a di ck at first, I'm still keeping an eye on him but I'm honestly thinking that he wants to try with her, try to make it up to her and I for one was thrilled to see the smile on her face.

We all sat down and he looked to me

"I would like to apologize for what I said to you, I shouldn't have attacked either one of you and thank you for calling me; I wish I could stay longer." He said and I nodded

"Honestly, I still don't really trust you and it's going to take more than sorry for that to change." I wasn't going to just forgive him after what he said on the phone, to me and then to her. He was on my shit list and he would need to work and prove that he's really here for her to move off of that.

"I can respect that, I'm glad she has someone to look out for her," he seemed sincere "But do you really have to share a bed?" he asked with a grimace and I smirked

"Absolutely so shush, it's not allowed." I said and he looked over at Robert who was acting like he couldn't hear anything.

"You aren't bothered by this?" Drew asked kind of annoyed

"Oh can it Drew, I thought we were past this." Bailey glared and he sighed

"Fine." He agreed and he focused on her while they caught up.

Drew talked about how he moved from school to playing pro and about his girlfriend and son while Bailey talked about how life got to where it did and they were all things I didn't know so I sat there and got to understand so much more about her.

Her mom resented them for ruining her body since she was a model and said they ruined her career so she worked with young models and helped them with all that shit I guess now while their dad worked at a fashion magazine, which I found very weird. That was how they met to begin with.

Their dad was too busy to deal with any of them even though he was the one who wanted a son, but he never wanted a daughter. When they realized Bailey was never going to be a model or even tall enough to be one they gave up on caring about her.

Her dad started drinking and he would hurt Bailey and then apologize, it was never full on beatings but he would hit her and that was wrong but despite that she was still closer to her father than her mother who barley acknowledged her for most of her life.

I could see it hurt her to hear when Drew said her mom was more annoyed than concerned when she overdosed. Her mom cared more about the time it would take and how it would make her look than about her fuc king daughter but their dad was really torn up about it.

She was right, this nice facility was guilt money on their part and her mom's way of getting rid of a problem and I didn't know what she was planning to do after she left this place.

I know she wouldn't accept my help easily but she couldn't go back to that place and if I needed to get her an apartment I would, I would have her move in with me but that was too soon and she needed to be on her own for a while.

I never cared to have a huge mansion though I could afford it, I lived in a condo which while pricey wasn't that bad, not compared to most actors and actresses. I could more than afford to support her and it may take a little bit of well, I may just have to get a damn place for her and tell her she doesn't have a choice, that I'm going to take care of her always whether she likes it or not, which I know sounds bad, but it was where I was at.

"Where are you staying when you get out?" Drew asked, damn.

"Back home I guess if they let me." she said and his eyes glanced to me and I shook my head letting him know that was not happening

"You can't." he told her

"I don't have a choice." I was still shaking my head, not happening. She would just relapse.

'Drop it.' I mouthed to him and he understood and he move on from the subject but we were on the same page and he knew I would take care of her; I just had to keep it quiet.

It's not like she was a dirty secret or anything it was just going to be crazy when I got back, they would ask where I was and they would probably guess right and I didn't need them all over Bailey too when she needed some quiet in her life.

If she decided to stay with me she would be in the spotlight with me, she would have to attend events and people love to stalk you and judge your life when you're someone like me and I just want to protect her from that. I would love for everyone to know how much I love her but I know she's not ready for it yet.

Next would come how we met and people would know she was an addict and that I was an addict and then from there things would explode.

She would look like a gold digging sl ut and while we knew it wasn't true I just didn't think right out of rehab is a good time to go through it all.

They talked for a couple hours until it was time for Drew to go, he promised to come back tomorrow and we headed to get food for dinner and then went to my room and we watched a movie while we ate, I took dishes and then I knew I had to start talking to her about all of this.

I knew we weren't far from being released and I knew being on speaking terms with Drew was going to help her so much. I was doing better and they were starting to talk about releasing me again I just worried about leaving her.

Lacey freaked out when she found out she was leaving and she killed herself, I couldn't get a phone call like that from Kylie about Bailey.

"We need to talk." I told her when I got back and she looked at me confused

"Everything okay?" she asked

"Kylie and Robert are talking about releasing me soon." I told her and her smile fell and she looked so sad

"I'm happy for you." she said and while she looked heartbroken I could see she meant that.

"We need to talk about what happens now." I told her

"And how you can't see me anymore." She looked away

"Why would you say that?" I sat beside her

"I'm no one, you're a big star and have a life to go back to and I wouldn't fit in, I'm an embarrassment, I'm short and I'm not all tall and beautiful like all the other women you."

"Are you fuc king kidding me Bailey?" I asked her and she looked at me as I paced angrily

"What?" she asked

"You really have a low opinion of yourself, don't you and I don't fuc king appreciate you throwing my past in my face every chance you get." I was angry with her

"I'm not them!" she said frustrated

"And did I ever ask you to be, did I ever fuc king once say that was what I wanted, did I ever give you the impression that I was unhappy with you, did I ever fuc king tell you that you weren't enough for me!" I felt bad because I was yelling at her but I was so tired of this

"No." she whispered and looked away

"Exactly! I have had sex with a lot of women and I have done things with them that would make you blush for a week. Sex is easy and yes I was shallow and the bigger and faker the boobs and the smaller the waist the better."

"I get it." she yelled at me but I wasn't done

"No I don't think you do, you want to throw it in my face so let's talk about it Bailey. I was not a good guy and I fuc ked them and kicked them out the next morning if they were lucky or left while they slept. i orders hookers when i was bored and it was easy as breathing to do it while I took another line of cocaine and had another drink but you know what? I'm not that person anymore! I did every fuc king thing in my power to not change while I was here."

"Stop." She cried

"No. I hated you when you first came here. You were fuc king tiny and irritating and are still the most frustrating fuc king woman I have ever met in my life! But you are also the realest person I have ever met and I love you for all the reasons I thought I hated you. You're so damn tiny and it's cute, you're so innocent and while you hate it, I adore it about you, but do you know why I love you the most?" I asked and she shook her head

"Why?" she asked softly

"Because you know me better than anyone. You know what I've done and you know I've slept with a lot of fuc king girls but you still love me. I love you because you understand me and you don't give a damn that I'm rich, I love you because you of who you are and the kind of person you really are and I love you because you trust me and I love you because you make me a better person, you are one of the most important people in my life."

"I love you too." She said

"I don't know how else to tell you or show you this and maybe I'm just not doing it right if you think I would prefer screwing random girls than being with you." she shook her head

"I'm sorry." She told me and I just shook my head and walked away not caring that this was actually my room

"I need to think." I hated feeling like this, I hated thinking about my past and I hated that she said what she said

"Please don't go. I'm sorry I just don't understand how you could love me." she wrapped her arms around me from behind which was odd feeling since she felt five feet shorter than me.

"I obviously am not good for you." I told her and she shook her head and slid in front of me and she reached up to put her hands on either side of my face

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I know you're not that person and I'm sorry. I love you and I'm just scared. I haven't ever been in a relationship and I know you're not that person but I also know that you have needs I just can't fulfill, I feel like I'm just a disappointment." She said and I put my hands over hers

"But you aren't and how else can I make you see that? I don't care that you won't have sex with me and I hate that it has to be a big thing because it isn't. Sure I would love to be with you in that way but I can wait as long as it takes. You don't disappoint me and I want this relationship to continue outside of here."

"But I'm not good with people." she mumbled and I smiled

"I know." I said

"And I'm afraid of me punching someone for trying to take a picture of us together and that would be bad."

"I'm kind of worried about that myself but I'm worried that you'll leave because they'll make this out to be something bad as soon as drug addiction comes out."

"Bring it on." She looked up at me in that feisty little determined way she does and I had to tell other parts of my body to calm the hell down because seriously, that look was hot as fu ck.

"You don't know what you're saying." I said

"Do you want to be with me when I get out?" she asked

"Of course." I said

"Well then I'll have to deal with it. I'm not saying right away I'm saying that I love you and I'm not going to let pathetic people with no life tear that apart for a story so they can make a few bucks."

"Well I'm glad to hear you say that because there is one other thing and remember pretty girl, I'm not taking no for an answer." I said determined and she looked at me skeptically. I was getting her an apartment and that was that.