xi. i'll be quiet now (1)

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I got the sudden inspiration for this please don't hate me. TW: SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND ACTIONS. the following parts of this small series need this trigger warning as well

Peter knew that his constant chattering annoyed most people but they were kind about it and he couldn't find it in himself to stop. He just loved to share everything with the people he cared about.

So he rants about his school day to Happy every time he gets a ride to the tower and it only hurts a little bit when he rolls his eyes and puts the risor up. He makes a mental note to try and tone it down around Happy.

And then when he's in the lab with Mr. Stark he would chatter on about school and science and whatever came to mind. And it hurt slightly more when Mr. Stark put on loud music so he couldn't hear Peter. Peter makes a mental note to tone it down around Mr. Stark.

And when he's at school he talks and talks to Ned about the latest movie or LEGO set, his friend tries to steer the conversation away or makes an excuse to go somewhere else, it hurts just a little more. So he makes a mental note to tone it down around Ned.

And during decathlon meets or just when he talked to Michelle in general she would roll her eyes and ignore him. And it hurt. So he remembers to tone it down a notch around her.

And whenever he talks within the vicinity of Flash he was always informed of how annoying and stupid he was. Because why would anyone care about what he had to say? And it hurt. So he remembers to be quiet.

And when he gets home and sits on the couch to watch TV with aunt May, he chatters away. She usually gets annoyed and makes an excuse about checking the food or the mail. And it hurts. A lot. So he tells himself to stop talking so much. Around her.

Around everyone. Because all it seemed to do was annoy everyone. Maybe if he was quiet they would care more. So he speaks only when he's spoken to and only in short answers. But he was probably annoying them just talking at all.

So he stops talking. He answers in shrugs or hand gestures and notices the strange looks he gets from everyone. Great, he was annoying people even when he wasn't talking.

He lies awake every night wondering what he did to make everyone hate him so much. Why they avoided him and looked at him strange. Nothing he did seemed to make anyone like him.

And his self esteem drops and he just wants to talk and tell everyone else about his day and what's on his mind but he doesn't want to annoy them. He wants to be better. He wants to be someone that others cared about.

And he thinks about all of the people that died and everyone remembered. He of course loved his parents and his uncle Ben. So would others love him if he died? If suddenly one day he was gone?

He thinks that for so long before deciding to act. He downs every pill in all four bottles of the sleeping meds he found in the medicine cabinet. And he writes the note with only a few short words, not wanting to annoy anyone with a long note.

Then he curls up on his bed, tears dripping down his face as he clutches the note. "I'm sorry." He whispers before his vision goes dark. He's sorry for being annoying and he's sorry for speaking to say goodbye.

On the note is four simple words. ~I'll be quiet now.~


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