Chapter 30

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"Maxie…" I tap on my brother's door, peaking through the crack to see him sitting on his bed with his laptop. "Can I come in?"

"I don't care," he grumbles and I hesitate a moment before pushing open and stepping inside.

"What you doing?" I bounce over to the bed and sit on the end.

"Just looking at colleges," he states and my stomach drops, honestly not wanting to think about him going to college. "But what's up?" he taps on the computer keys a second before shutting his laptop and looks at me.

"I just wanted to talk to you," I shrug, brushing my hair back as I look at him, him nodding his head to continue. "I..." I open my mouth but then shut it when my words don't come.

"What Ten? I can't just guess to what you are thinking," he points out and I frown.

"Are you still mad at me?" I whisper low, looking down embarrassed. "Because I don't want you mad anymore… I'm really sorry Max."

"Tenley," he frowns shaking his head, moving his computer to the nightstand beside him.

"Look I know I lied to you and I know… I know how disappointed you are in me," I tell him, because I honestly know that. "But I'm not lying when I say it just… it just happened Max. I didn't mean for it to and I didn't mean to feel all these feelings for him but I do."

"Ten," he shifts on the bed to move closer to me and I thank the look of peace on his face. "I'm not mad at you, I never was really mad at you."

"Promise?" my bottom lip trembled looking at him. "Because you seemed pretty mad," I let out a dry laugh.

"I know, I know I did. I just… I have so much going on Tenley," he tells me and my heart hurts for the fact I didn't have a clue he was going through stuff. "My mind is all over the place."

"What's wrong?" I ask, placing my hand on his. "You can talk to me…"

"I know," he gives a broken smile and I hate I don't know what is wrong with him.

"Please tell me…" I beg and he clears his throat a little and looks down at the ground.

"I…I got a letter in the mail a few weeks ago," he tells me and my brows crease confused to what he is talking about. "My dad," he clears his throat and my heart starts to race. "My birth father is getting out of jail… he wants to see me."

"What?" my eyes widened shocked. Max's family, will birth family is complicated. His mom got pregnant at fifteen and was involved in some bad things, along with his dad. However, doing the only selfless thing she has ever done in her life, when she realized she couldn't take care of Max she put him up for adoption. He was passed around homes for a while until he turned seven and that's when we adopted him. However when he was ten my parents were informed his dad got arrested. Mom and dad ever really told me why, but I'm more than positive they told Max about it. "Do mom and dad know?"

"Yeah," he tells me nodding. "I told them as soon as I got the letter, I didn't want to keep secrets," his eyes cut over to mine and I drop my head. "That's sorta why they came home early I think."

"Well," I clear my throat some. "Are you going to meet him? I mean where is your head at? Talk to me," I plead, giving his hand a squeeze.

"I don't know yet," he admits. "But…"

"But, what?"

"The last few weeks I've just…I've been feeling weird you know?"

"Like sick?" my heart quickens, not wanting him sick.

"No, not sick," he rushes to tell me and I relax. "I know you are my family," he says and I slowly nod. "But… damn this is going to make me sound like such a whiney bitch."

"No, it won't," I shake my head, really wanting him to talk to me. I've noticed him off for some time, and I just want to know why. I want my happy big brother back. "You're my big brother Maxie; you can say anything to me."

"I don't know how I feel about mom being pregnant," he whispers and my eyes widen a bit, not really expecting that. "I just… I always thought that they adopted me because they couldn't have a son of their own. And dad and I have always been close and we've talked sports and cars and anything he wanted and I tried to be the son he always wanted," he tells me and I just stay quiet as he talks. "But if mom has a boy… then they have everything they've always wanted and what…what's the point of me being here anymore?"

"No!" I tell him quickly, tears building in my eyes at the thought of the pain he is feeling. "That isn't true," I throw my arms around his neck and hug him tight. "You are a part of this family Max. And no matter what this baby is it won't change the fact you are my brother. The best brother in the world and this baby is going to have the most amazing brother ever. And honestly, I feel bad for this baby…"

"Why?"

"Because if it happens to be a boy," I get a bit of a grin. "That little guy is going to have some huge shoes to fill," I tell him and he gives me a half grin. "I love you Max," I tell him, sniffling a bit. "You are without a doubt the most amazing brother in this world and nothing is going to change that."

"I just want to know who I am," he whispers to me. "I don't know who I am Ten."

"Max Brady," I give a half shrug looking at him. "You are Max Brady, the boy who has an amazing heart and makes me always laugh when I'm sad. And you are the boy who brought his team to state twice might I remind you. You're the guy who doesn't fail to tell his mom he loves her and will drop anything to help a friend," I list just a few things making him smile. "And you are the big brother who almost gave up everything he worked so hard for because, me, his little sister," I make that point clear, "made some terrible decisions. Because we are family…"

"Because we are family," he whispers and I give a gentle smile. "I'm sorry for the things I said to you," he apologizes and I just shrug.

"I deserved it…"

"No, no you didn't. I was just mad about other things and took it out on you. I was just afraid you were going to get hurt again, because…well because you were."

"He didn't mean too," I tell him, really not wanting him hating Colton. "He just… he isn't a feelings person."

"That doesn't make me feel any better, Ten."

"No, not like that. I mean he has opened up with them more now," I explain and he nods. "But I think he was scared, what he was feeling freaked him out because then he could get hurt."

"You really care about him, huh?"

"Yeah," I nod with a dry laugh. "Yeah I do. And though it's hard to believe but I know he really cares about me too, Max," I tell him and he offers a nod. "And…he really cares about you too."

"I know I shouldn't have hit him. It was just easier to take my anger out on him then admitting all I was feeling. I mean…I am sorry…kinda," he shrugs and I let out a laugh.

"I love you Maxwell," I give his arm a tight hug and he offers me a real smile and it makes my heart tighten. I'm glad he is smiling again. "And I want you to know that no matter what I have your back... And if, you want to meet your dad I support you and if you want me there you know I would be there no matter what."

"I might need you there," he admits and I see how vulnerable my big brother is, it's weird honestly. He is normally so strong so to see him like this might take some time to get used too.

"Then I'm there," I give a half tight lipped smile and he grins. "God I feel bad for that new kid," I state and he laughs a 'why?' "Because, you want a girl and I want a boy because I'll be damned if some little thing tries to steal my big brother time."

"We could just ignore the thing," he suggests and I laugh. "Or…" he ponders a thought before looking at me. "We accept it and promise no matter what he or she doesn't change anything. Because I know you Ten, you are going to be so protective of them."

"Yeah…little innocent thing," I let out a dry laugh. "Fine, I guess I'll share you."

"Oh how generous of you," he teases and I send him a smile.

"Us against the world?" I rest my head against his and hold out my pinkie and he grins.

"Like always," he smiles, locking his pinkie with mine and I smile big. So happy to have my big brother back.

(-)

"Can I ask you a…weird question?" I glance up from a sleeping Raine to look at my Aunt.

"Sure," she gives me a gentle smile as she places the book she was reading in her lap.

"It might be inappropriate," I explain first. "I just…I don't know who else to ask and talk to about this."

"Well ask away," Leah waves for me to continue and I awkwardly shift in my chair, not at all knowing how to word this.

"I umm…" I glance back down at Raine and feel the tightness in my chest at her, at just how innocent she is. "My…my girlfriend," I say slowly, still trying to get used to that. "She's been through some…things," I say and she slowly nods. "And I just… god this is weird."

"It's not weird," she laughs a little adjusting in the chair to get more relaxed. "Just tell me what's up."

"Ok…" I breathe out a long breath. "I look at Raine," I look down at the little girl in my arms and smile. "And she is…perfect but I'm not stupid to the fact she is going to grow up. She will be become a woman and fall in love and as much as I would like to never even think about it, at some point in her life she will…" I trail off and she lets out a gentle laugh.

"She will," Leah crosses her arms and smiles "But not for many many years."

"Oh thirty if I have a say in it," I state and she laughs and I don't think she realizes I'm serious. "But I would like to think when that happens," I pause a moment thinking about Tenley. "That it's like some lame movie scene and perfect. And I want to know he is gentle with her and…loving. And I pray to everything above that she doesn't know pain and heartbreak and I hate… I really hate the only other girl in my life that I truly care about…well didn't experience something like that."

"Sometimes…" she pauses a moment as if trying to think of what she is going to say. "As girls," she starts again. "As girls all of us hope for that perfect moment. Hope it's like a movie where it isn't just…sex, but it's gentle and loving. However there are a lot of us, well a lot of us who don't get that. And we just hope to at some point, even if it's not the first, but we just hope at some point we get that."

"I care about this girl Leah," I admit, not really admitting that to too many people. "And I just don't know how to make it… special. I've never done that before," I once again awkwardly shift, but I just don't know who to talk to about this. I don't have any real girl friends, well other than Hannah, but I don't want her saying something to Darren because I would feel like the biggest chick ever. And I would…I would talk to my mom about it. We were always that close but she…she isn't here.

"Colton," she tilts her head with a smile, a look washing over her before she shuts her eyes and shakes her head. "I feel I've had this conversation before," she laughs a bit. "And I will tell you what I told him. When a guy loves a girl…"

"I don't… I mean I don't feel that," I tell her quickly, that being the last thing I feel.

"Still…" she holds her look on me before again shaking her head. "She knows… she feels it with a look, with a touch…a smile. He is different with her than any other person," she explains and I slowly nod. "And that's what makes it special."

"That's it?" I raise a brow, thinking there should be more to it than that.

"Love is simple," she shrugs and I go to object that but her hand flies up. "I know, I know you don't love her. But even so, it's simple. Well it's not simple; it has moments of being difficult. Yet the making her feel special... it's easy," she winks with a smile.

"I guess…" I mumble, thinking it all seemed a little difficult to me. How the hell am I supposed to know if I'm looking at her right? I just…look at her. And touch her, well I'm good at touching her but still. I hate girls, can't figure them the shit out.

(-)

"Is everything good?" Daisy flashes a nervous smile as she bounces on the balls of her feet.

"Everything is great, Daisy," I flash her a smile, Colton handing her a few bills.

"I'll get you your change…"

"No we're good," Colton tells her, her looking at the money in her hand than back at him.

"You sure?" she looks unsure and he smiles.

"Yeah Daisy," he tells her, her eyes widening like she is shocked he knows her name.

"Thank you Colton," she spins on her feet and skips off.

"You know you just tipped her double of our bill?" I kink a brow and he just shrugs.

"She is sweet," he tells me, playing with my fingers as my hand rest on his leg. "Plus it's like really slow in here. I'd hate to work my ass off and not make shit."

"True," I agree, rising up and slowly pulling on his jacket he let me use. "Who would have thought Colton Wells was so sweet…" I tease and he chuckles rolling his eyes at me as he stands.

"You have to be home at a certain time?" he questions holding the door open for me to step out into the chilly air, my chest tightening when he slips his hand in mine.

"No," I shrug as we walk down the sidewalk. "I told mom I was staying at Hannah's…however I don't know if she really believed me," I admit, knowing with the stupid smile I've been sporting so much lately she knows it's because of Colton. I can't help it honestly; I like this boy so much that just talking about him makes me smile.

"I like your mom," he admits and I nod, everyone always liking my mom. "She is cool, your dad is cool too…Don't think he likes me too much but he is cool."

"He does like you," I tell him, curling my body around his as we walk. "He's just seen me hurt; it's going to take him some time to get used to me being with someone again."

"I guess I get that. I personally know if someone hurt Raine like Jack did you, I would never trust any guy with her again."

"Yeah, I used to worry a lot after he and I broke up."

"About?" he cuts his eyes over at me.

"That I'd always pick bad guys," I let out a dry laugh. "Was worried I would never be able to tell it before it was too late. Everyone has a type, was just afraid mine was bad."

"Naw… you had one bad guy, no more," he looks down at me and with the look he gives me I swear I feel my heart skip a full beat. "Plus if we go by that, I'm screwed. I sorta not really dated Riley… Does that mean I'll forever date bitches?"

"Well I do have my moments," I tease and he laughs shaking his head. Stopping us he pauses to turn and face me and I just love how he looks at me, like such a look of content and when the sweet smile slips on those gorgeous lips my whole body tingles.

"Did I tell you that you look gorgeous tonight?" he raises a brow, reaching up and brushing my hair back from my face. "Because you Pretty Girl look gorgeous…" he informs me and I can't help the feeling that erupts in me.

"Is this still part of that always trying to make me feel better about myself?" I question, knowing not too long ago he made that promise. Him hating how insecure I was.

"No…" he shakes his head. "I'm just telling the truth," he shrugs. "My baby is gorgeous and should be told that often."

"Colton…" I grin like a stupid kid on Christmas as I push up on my toes and give him a kiss. His arm coming around my waist and pulling me up a bit to add more pressure.

"Now come on," he pulls back to look down at me, brushing my hair back and giving a bit of a grin. "Let's head out of here."

"Where we going?" I kink a brow at him and he just shrugs. "Colton…" I whine, really wanting to know. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," he shrugs, walking over to his car and opening the door.

"You won't tell me?" I ask but he shakes his head. "What if I flash you?" I smirk and he chuckles.

"That could persuade me," he smirks and I grin. Tossing a look around me and hooking my fingers under the hem of my shirt. Tugging it up just a bit and watching his eyes zero in on me, the shirt coming higher to reveal my thin stomach and that fire sparks in his gorgeous eyes. "Ten…" he growls, shuffling his feet forward and pushing me against the car. His large hand, running across my skin and I swear it sets on fire. "We both know you won't do it," he dips his head to my ear and growls. Letting out a giggle, because I know he is right. I could never do that.

"Nope," I giggle, letting go of my shirt and it drops, his hand trapped underneath it.

"Tease," he states and I just giggle again. "Now come on," he kisses my nose and I climb into the car, him walking around the front and climbing into the drivers' side. And just like he always does when we are sitting, his hand drops to my leg and his thumb starts to stroke that spot.

(-)

"You are being all secretive for a trip to your apartment?" I raise a brow and he kills the engine in his parking spot.

"I'm not being secretive," he shakes his head turning to look at me. "I just wanted to see if you would flash me," he shrugs and I squeal slugging his arm. "What?" he laughs.

"I hate you Colton Wells," I slug him again and he laughs. "You are the meanest person I've ever met!"

"I'm not mean," he chuckles, grabbing my hands. "So stop hitting me," he orders, tugging me forward a bit and smiling. "Now let's go upstairs," he smirks and I grin.

"Suddenly I'm in a better mood," I tease, and he lets out a chuckle.

"I'll get you in a better one," he promises, kissing my nose and I giggle as he pushes himself from his seat and out the door.

"Well thank you sir," I slide my hand in his when he opens my door. "Mmm…you smell good," I announce when in the light breeze I get a hint of his cologne.

"Thanks," he chuckles, sliding his key in the lock and turns it until it clicks. "Wait…" he grabs my hand when I go to push open the door.

"What?" I turn to face him and he bites down on his lower lip. "What's up?" I place my hand on his chest and feel his heart racing beneath my palm. "Colton, what's going on?"

"I…I kinda did something," he announces and I look at him a little confused. "It's lame…" he tells me and I just grow more confused.

"What's lame?" I shake my head lost, as he guys to push open the door. "I don't get it," I let out a small laugh, his hand shaking a bit as we step inside the dark apartment and he tosses his keys on the counter.

"Just…just come here," he tugs me towards the back room. Him opening the door to his bed room and my stomach drops.

"Colton…" I pull in a shaky breath, glancing at the couple candles flickering in the dark room, dark clean room, I want to point out and even though it's small, it's sweet. I mean it's nothing big, there isn't a bed of roses or anything but maybe there is like ten candles total, four lighting up his night stand and a few just randomly placed, but it's still sweet…it's enough for me.

"Please don't be a total girl about it," he begs and I let out a smile as I turn to face him.

"What's going on? This…this is so not you."

"I know… I know it's not," he swallows hard and glances around. "But…but since I've met you and you opened up to me about things, I've felt this weird feeling in me," he explains and I slowly nod. "For some reason you girls just make…make such a big deal out of sex."

"Colton…" I look down shaking my head; really not wanting him to announce to me sex is just sex and means nothing.

"No, just…just don't talk a second," he cuts me off and I just become

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