A mess.

A complete mess.

Nikolai had turned the whole living room upside down as he stood in the middle like a raging bull. Rage exuded from him, and a lump formed in my throat as I took in his expression.

I kept standing at the last step because there was glass everywhere. His eyes were bloodshot, he was breathing heavily and the way he was staring at me scared me a little... just a little.

"Go back to your room," he said lowly.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Go back to your room, Evangeline," his tone inferred that he didn't want to talk right now.

I saw blood dripping from his hand. If I was wearing my slippers I would have walked toward him and seen it for myself even though I was mad at him but unfortunately, I was barefoot.

"Are you hurt?"

"Go. Back. To. Your. Room."

I crossed my arms over my chest. I was done being ordered around by Nikolai, I won't let him treat me this way, "If you had a bad day at work, you don't have to take it out on me or the furniture!"

He took a threatening step my way, "Go back to your room before I do something we both will regret!"

I threw my hand in the air frustratedly, "I was supposed to be mad at you, not the other way around!"

He held his head in his hands, "FUCK!"

I shook my head and stomped back upstairs. He can't do that, he can't just do that. I'm the one who is angry at him. I'm the one who had been wronged! He can't just act like a freaking victim in all this.

I slammed the door shut and went to sit on my bed. What could have possibly happened for him to act this way? Was it something big or what?

What am I even doing here?

I squeezed my eyes shut and dropped my head over my lap. I feel like my life is falling apart like I have no idea what I am doing anymore.

He is warm and loving one second and the next second he is cold and domineering. I have no idea who my husband is. He's a mystery, it's really hard to guess what is going on in his mind. It's really hard to predict his next move.

I don't want to live like this...

I want to know my husband. I know Nikolai isn't an ordinary man. I know he isn't perfect, he is a Don, a head of a crime family, the king of the Cosa Nostra.

I am not expecting him to change for me because even for a girl like me—who lives in a fantasy world—it's a bit of a stretch. I can't change who he is but the least he could do was be honest with me. I wanted him to treat me like an equal, I don't want him to baby me.

He loves me, I know he does but why can't he say it? What is so hard about uttering those three little words?

He is so mysterious and frustrating; he'd be ready to fight the world for me but then he'd go on and humiliate me like he did in front of his father.

I needed to know him.

If we were going to spend our lives together, this had to stop. We have to come to terms with our feeling for one another.

I heaved a sigh and grabbed my cell phone. I dialed Bianca's number and put the phone to my ear.

She picked up after two rings, "Hey, E!"

I smiled, "Hey, B..."

"What's up?"

"Nothing, I was just wondering if you were free to hang out?"

"I'm always free to hang out with you."

"Great, can you come to pick me up?"

"Yeah, sure... E, is everything alright?"

I don't know why but when she asked me that, my eyes started to tear up. I inhaled sharply at her words and sighed, "Yeah, everything's fine..."

"Did Niko say something to you?"

"Why don't you come over first and then we'll talk."

"Okay, I was actually going out shopping, why don't you join me?"

"Alright, I'll change then..."

We talked a little more and then I hung up. I washed my face, combed my hair, and changed into a short black sundress.

Half an hour later, my phone buzzed, I knew it was Bianca. I picked it up and she told me to come downstairs as she was waiting outside.

I grabbed a handbag, threw all of my stuff into it, and slung it over my shoulder. I descended the stairs and looked around, there was no sign of Nikolai but several maids were now cleaning up the living room.

I walked straight out of the house. One of Nikolai's soldiers stood in my way and stopped me, "Mrs. Costello, are you going somewhere?"

I nodded, "I'm going out with Bianca."

"Does Don Niko know?"

I blew out a breath and just watched him. He probably understood because he pulled out his phone and called Nikolai.

"Don Niko, Mrs. Costello wants to leave the house," he listened to the other end for a few seconds before he glanced at me, "With who you said you were going out?"

"With Bianca..."

"Bianca Costello," he said into the phone and waited, "For what?" he asked.

I threw my hands in the air frustratedly, "She wants to go shopping!" I gritted through my teeth.

"Alright, yes, yes, Don Niko," He hung up and faced me again, "You can go, Mrs. Costello"

I strode straight out of the house and towards Bianca's car. Her driver opened the car door for me and I slid into the backseat.

"Hey..." I smiled at Bianca and hugged her the second I sat in the car.

"Niko just sent me a shitload of money, he told me to buy you anything you want," she told me.

I pursed my lips and looked out of the window. I don't know what to think of all this. I don't want his money, I want my husband's attention, love, and respect, is that too much to ask?

"Uh Oh, trouble in paradise?" she asked.

"We got into a fight..."

"Over what?"

I played with the hem of my dress, not looking her in the eyes, "It was about his father at first but then that fight went in a completely different direction."

"What happened?"

I looked at her face and then lifted a shoulder, "He won't tell me how he feels about me."

"Hate to say this, E, but I told you so. You have no idea what kind of a man Nikolai is. You are too innocent for him, shouldn't have jumped into this marriage thing with him so soon. You should have at least dated him publically for a year before thinking of something permanent."

"I know... and I agree about the marriage part but then he told me, he can't go on a day without seeing me."

Bianca looked taken aback at that, "He said that?"

I smiled solemnly, "He told me that when I left, how it affected him. I mean, why would it affect him if he didn't feel anything for me? I know he loves me, why can't he just say it?"

I told her everything that happened, the fight, me forcing Nikolai to accept his feelings, him denying it, and the fact that we started this relationship with me accepting that I won't ask him to love me, everything.

Bianca shrugged, "Maybe, because saying it will make it real and he isn't ready for that."

I blew out a breath and slumped back on the seat, "That doesn't even make sense!"

"Well, it's Niko, nothing about him makes sense," she smiled, "Why don't you try to give him a little space? Instead of fighting over it, look at the situation with maturity. If you think he loves you then wait for him to come to you. Don't force it, let him accept his feelings for you; let him come to terms with that. Give it time, E."

Her words made sense. Maybe, I should just let it be. Forcing him to say that only resulted in us fighting all the time. He tried to make up with me but I wasn't ready. Maybe, if I should trust him and it will all fall into its place. We were happy before his father intrude and made me doubt our whole relationship.

"You're right, fighting with him didn't really get me anywhere..."

The car came to a halt outside a mall. The driver opened the car door and we both stepped out. She entwined her arm with mine and tugged me along with her.

It was the first time, I went out shopping with a friend. I have never wandered into malls. She asked me many times if I wanted to buy something but somehow it didn't feel right. I wanted to clear the air with Nikolai before I use his money.

I was holding more than eight bags full of new dresses for Bianca, she had way more bags slung over her arms as we roamed around.

"I'm famished, wanna grab a bite?"

I nodded, "Yes, please, I feel like I might faint if I had to walk around anymore."

We went to a nearby small restaurant and ordered cheeseburgers, fries, and shakes. We talked about completely random things, she told me how she met Stefano. She was also facing some problems in her relationship, she wanted Stefano to propose but he always tiptoed around the topic.

After Bianca had shopped for some more heels, makeup, and clothes, we finally went back to the car, the driver took the bags from us and put them in the trunk.

"You sure, you don't want to buy anything?"

I gave my head a gentle shake, "Nope... not gonna use his money, not until we get over our fight."

"You're so stubborn, E."

I rolled my eyes and got into the car, we drove home in silence. We both were tired and my feet hurt so bad from all the walking around even though I was wearing flats.

She finally dropped me home, I waved her goodbye and turned to walk inside. The same soldier was standing at the front door, he nodded at me and I simply just smiled.

As I entered the foyer, I stilled. Multiple heavy footsteps and heavier voices came closer and closer until I was face to face with a bunch of scary-looking men. I was used to them by now but some of them had malicious and emotionless eyes that scared me a bit.

"Ah, you must be the lovely, Mrs. Costello," the man, who I figured was the boss of the lot said. He had a thick Russian accent.

Nikolai emerged from behind them, he frowned as he looked at me and pressed his lips into a thin line as if he was annoyed by my presence here.

"Vladimir Ivankov, Niko's uncle," he offered me his hand for a handshake.

Nikolai had told me that his mother was Russian; he must be from his maternal side of the family.

I smiled and placed my hand in his, "Evangeline..."

"I know, I know I have heard all about you" he laughed richly, "After the whole Russell balls-up."

I didn't know what to say, I bit my lip and smiled in response. I glanced at Nikolai and saw him watching me with a deep frown.

"This is my son, Dimitri, Niko's cousin."

I swallowed and offered him a nod and smile. His cousin was tall, had eyes much like Nikolai's, and was more on the brawny side. He gave me a lopsided smirk that seemed a little inappropriate considering my husband was standing right behind him.

"Why don't you both come over for dinner?" He turned to Nikolai, "I would love to get acquainted with my new daughter-in-law over dinner"

I think I like him better than Nikolai's father.

"I let you know when I'm free, Uncle."

"Make time for your uncle soon, Niko. I'm only here for a few weeks."

Nikolai nodded and they talked among themselves a little more before, Nikolai's uncle kissed me on the cheek and said goodbye.

I pressed myself into the wall beside me as the big, bulky men walked out of the foyer. Nikolai followed behind them but stopped as I called him. 

"Nikolai, can we talk?" I asked

He glanced at me from over his shoulder and clenched his jaw, "I don't have time!" he snapped as he walked out of the front door, disappearing from my sight.

Why does it feel like he is mad at me for something? Why do I feel like I'm the one who is wrong in this argument?

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