I opened my eyes to a familiar ceiling. A ceiling I hadn't seen in more than a month ago. The last thing I remember is Ignacio hovering over me. I have no idea what happened after that. How I ended up here. 

I couldn't believe I was here. I was in Nikolai's home. I couldn't believe that I was in this bedroom. At first, I thought it was a figment of my imagination but then I tried to touch things around me and they felt so real. They were real.

I was no longer in Ignacio's captivity. I was no longer in that dingy, dirty cell. I was no longer in Ignacio's bed, tears pooled in my eyes as I thought about what Ignacio might have done to me.

I lost consciousness, I don't remember anything. I tried to fight him but he was stronger, he hit me in the head. I looked down at my clothes, they were just simple PJs, not the kind of revealing clothes that he had made me wear.

Did he force himself on me? Did he assault me? I didn't feel different. How do you know if you have been assaulted?

I sat up and brought my knees to my chest and winced as my muscles ached, reminding me of the torture I went through. 

My mind failed to accept that I'm back in Nikolai's home. Maybe, I'm still in that cell and this is just my imagination, a dream.

I got off the bed and walked to the window. I opened it and let the warm summer breeze hit my bruised and battered skin.

I looked at the vast garden and all I could think of were my father's words.

My parents were right, they were right about everything. People are horrible. They are just so horrible. I can't trust anyone anymore. No one had been my friend. No one.

Bianca deceived me, Scott was only nice to me because he thought that I'd sleep with him and Nikolai... I don't even know what to think about him.

I hadn't planned on telling Ignacio that I loved him. The words slipped from my mouth before I could stop them. I don't even know if I loved him or not. I was beaten up, starved, and hallucinating. I wasn't in the right state of mind. I don't love Nikolai Costello. I just don't, I can't.

I went to the bathroom. I brushed my teeth, showered, and changed my clothes, it was difficult because of how many bandages I had on me. I wore the first dress my eyes fell on, the one that was oversized and didn't touch the wounds I had.

They didn't let me take a shower for days, they didn't give me a change of clothes, they gave me stale food, they groped me, hit me, and touched me. There wasn't a single part of my body where Ignacio and his brother Sergio hadn't touched me.

I could still feel their hands, their dirty fingernails, and their smell. They reeked of cigarettes and alcohol. It all made me sick, even the thought of it make me want to throw up.

I heard the faint purr of an engine and my eyes went toward the source. I walked to the window to see Nikolai getting out of his car and heading inside his home.

It had been days since I had last seen him. The memory of him showing up drunk and humiliating me crossed my mind.

He was no better.

They were all the same.

They were all animals.

When I got to know that he was the head of the crime family, it didn't scare me.

When I saw that he had killed a man, that didn't scare me.

When he locked me up in that dark room for hours, he didn't scare me but when he insinuated that he might force himself on me while he was drunk, that scared me.

When he got engaged right in front of my eyes, that scared me.

And when I told him that I never want to see him again, he didn't even put up a fight like I didn't matter to him at all, that scared me the most.

I was scared of Nikolai Costello even though he came to save me from Ignacio. He must have saved me or else why would I be in his home?

I didn't trust him, not him, not Scott, not Bianca, not Marco, I couldn't trust anyone.

I was scared to live here but I was also scared to go back to that home. The home where my parents were killed, the home I got abducted from but I had no idea where I will go. I didn't know anyone, except for these people. I heaved a disappointed sigh and went back to sit on the bed.

I wish I had never met any of these people.

A knock on my bedroom door startled me and then it slowly opened. I held my breath to see who it was.

Nikolai...

He entered the room and the second he looked up at me sitting on the bed, his eyes widened as if he wasn't expecting me to be here.

"You're awake?" his voice was soft, gentle.

"Can't you see me sitting upright?" I asked, dryly.

"How are you feeling?"

I played with the hem of my dress. "I'm fine..."

"Have you taken a shower?"

I nodded.

"You shouldn't have, Evangeline."

I licked my lips as I thought about if I should ask him this question or not. He scared me, so, I just looked down at my lap and then sighed. "Was I raped?"

"What?" his voice took a sharp edge.

I couldn't look him in the eyes as I whispered again. "Was I raped?"

"Evangeline, can you speak a little louder?"

Tears burned my eyes, I wiped them with both of my hands and winced when my fingers made contact with the swelling on my face. "Was I raped?" I asked a little louder this time.

I heard him blow out a deep breath. I could then hear his footsteps until his shiny black shoes were in my view. I didn't look up. 

"No, you were not..."

A breath of relief left me, and my muscles visibly relaxed. A faint smile tugged on the corner of my lips but it got wiped off when Nikolai dropped to his haunches before me, looking at my face.

I don't know why but my body immediately retreated into the headboard to get away from his touch or the feel of his warmth. I wrapped my arms around my knees in order to protect myself. It was involuntary, I didn't mean to do it but something inside of me had changed. I could feel it.

"I'm not going to hurt you," he said to me, watching my unease.

"I will leave soon, you don't have to—" my words got caught in my throat as he abruptly stood up.

Is he going to hit me?

I put my face onto my knees and covered my head with both of my arms. "Please, don't hit me," I whispered, my voice muffled.

"Jesus Christ..." I heard him say. "I'm not going to hit you or hurt you, Evangeline. And you are not leaving this house again, do you understand me?"

Fear coiled in my stomach and it sank to my feet. I shook my head vigorously. He was engaged, he will get married soon, he humiliated me, he tried to force me, he called me a lowlife stray that he had to feed, clothe, and take care of. I can't stay here.

I peeked at him and saw the platinum engagement band on his finger. I took a deep breath as tears slid down my cheeks.

"I don't want to be here..." I whispered.

"Well, that's too bad because you are not going anywhere ever again."

"Why did you save me?"

I wanted to know because when I left, he made sure that I knew that I didn't matter to him at all. That whatever it was between us was just in my head. That whenever he touched me it was because I had asked him to not because he wanted me to.

"Who else would have?"

My chin trembled and more tears rolled down my cheeks. He was right. Who would have saved me? I had no one.

"A stray orphan..." I whispered to myself.

He rubbed a hand all over his face and then ran the same hand down his tie. "If you need anything, I'll be in my study."

I nodded as I felt heard him walk out of the door. The second, the door slammed shut I burst into tears. I cried silently, hunched over and with a sense of loss so powerful that my muscles wouldn’t respond to commands, they were numb. All I could picture was that cell, those men, their hands, their boots. Every single slap against my face, every time they punched, kicked, or threw me around.

I lay on my bed for a long time until my body grew tired of it too. I remembered that Nikolai had fired the entire staff, I got off the bed and strolled downstairs. I went to the kitchen to get something to eat but froze in the doorway as I saw Scott leaning against the counter drinking a glass of water.

He straightened up as he saw me. His face showed shock and surprise. I squeezed my eyes shut and remembered how he left things. I turned to leave when his voice stopped me.

"Sweet cheeks?"

I swallowed and then gave my head a gentle shake. He doesn't get to call me that anymore. He lost that right. I continued to walk but caught up with me in a second and stood before me, blocking my way.

"How are you?" he asked.

I shifted my weight from one foot to another. "I'm fine."

He scratched the back of his neck and faked a smile. "Look, what happened that night---"

I cut him off. "It's fine..."

"It's not fine, I was being a dick"

He took a step closer to me and held my arm. I jumped back and his hand fell from my arm. My breathing became shallow, and my heartbeat was out of control. It scared me, his touch or anyone's touch... it scared me. My skin crawled, it itched. I could see their hands all over my skin again.

No, please, no...

"I---um---I have to go" I sidestepped him and hurriedly ran up the stairs.

I wanted to wash their hands off myself.

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A/N

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