Chapter Fifty

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Guys, Evangeline is a little slow to understand some things, it's intentional, she may have been kidnapped but she is still the same girl who still doesn't know shit. 😂

I entered the gym and glanced at his back. He was facing the boxing ring as he took off his t-shirt, leaving him only in black boxer shorts.

I kept standing by the door unsure of what I am supposed to do. Am I supposed to warm up or something?

If it was before, I would have confidently walked up to him and asked him what I am supposed to do but now I felt so out of place. It felt like we were strangers. He belonged to someone else. There was a wall between us now that I didn't want to break down.

Last night just proved how he would never fall for someone like me. So much has happened between us, the good and the bad. I don't know where we stand. When is all this going to end? How is all this going to end? After he gets married, what am I supposed to do? Where am I supposed to live because I refuse to be someone's dirty little secret, not after my own parents made me one.

"Get in the ring,"

I got startled by his sudden order. His voice sounded so brusque almost as if he was furious with me. I frowned, was it because he called me disrespectful? The only person who is disrespectful to everyone in his circle is him.

Someone needs a reality check.

I pressed my lips together and with slumped shoulders, I headed towards the ring. He handed me the boxing gloves and hesitantly took them from his hands, putting them on.

"I don't feel like boxing today..."

I haven't slept, I didn't feel like eating anything, I had cried the whole night, and my head hurts.

"Do I look like I care?"

"Can we do something else today?" I asked

"No, we can't," he lightly pushed me toward the ring with his hand on my back. "Get in."

I did as I was told. I didn't want him to get another excuse to scold me or insult me. He wasn't wearing the training kit today, I noticed that he was also wearing his boxing gear, gloves, and all. Was he expecting me to fight him? He'd kill me in a second.

"Now, today I want you to defend yourself."

He adjusted my posture, touching me a little too much for my liking. He was engaged, I was in love with him and it wasn't a good combination. Warmth pooled between my legs and he trailed his hands up and down my body. His touch feels insanely forbidden now that his fiancée is living here with us.

"Put your hands up and keep your elbows tight. Your gloves should be at about eye level with your palms toward your face. Tuck your elbows close to your body, tight into your ribs," he explained as I held the position.

He got into the position as well, unexpectedly he threw a punch, it hit my arm and I staggered back. "Ouch..." I whispered to myself as I rubbed the glove on the spot.

"Defend yourself, Evangeline. If I'm throwing a left-handed punch, slap it away with your right hand. If I throw a right-handed punch, slap it away with your left hand, okay?"

I nodded and got into the position again. He hit me again but I was too slow to respond and block in time, I landed back harshly on my butt. I got back to my feet, but before I could get into my position he attacked me again making me stumble back and land on the ropes.

"Stop, I wasn't ready!"

"Then fucking get ready!"

He walked backward and I stepped forward until we were in the middle of the ring again, he again did the same thing and I stumbled, fell, and staggered here and there again and again until I grew tired.

"You're so fucking weak, put some fucking power in your stance!" he almost shouted at me.

"I'm trying!" is all I said as I blocked his punch with my arm and then squealed because it hurt.

"Try fucking harder, Evangeline!"

He was not going easy on me but it got a little better as I blocked a few of his attacks. He kept on shouting at me to block, to defend and I tried really hard but I was no match compared to him.

"Your posture is fucking pathetic!" he snarled.

"I'm trying, Nikolai, I'm learning!"

He scoffed. "Learning? Is that what it was?" saying that he hit me again.

"Can't you see that I'm trying, I'm not giving up although I have no idea what I am doing."

"I think you knew perfectly well what you were fucking doing!"

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, why does it feel like he is talking about something else entirely? Was he not talking about boxing? I stopped and took off my boxing gloves.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing? We are not fucking done."

I let out a tired sigh. "I think we are because it's not about boxing anymore. You are talking about something else entirely and you're taking it out on me through boxing."

He laughed, shaking his head. "I don't need boxing to take my frustration out on you, Evangeline. I have other ways."

"What is it?" I asked, keeping my tone as bored as I could manage.

He took off and threw his boxing gloves on the ground  "You are taking this fake engagement with Scott pretty seriously, aren't you?"

I crossed my arms over my chest as annoyance brewed in my stomach. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me, are you forgetting that it's a fucking ruse?"

God, I wanted to scream at top of my lungs, I wanted to jump on Nikolai and pull all his hair out.

Last night had been really rough on me, I was tired and frustrated. My heart hurt, I was tired of his games, his constant insults, and his behavior. I don't consider myself a weak girl but something snapped inside of me. My chin trembled as tears pooled in my eyes.

I couldn't help the tear that slid down my cheek, I wiped it off immediately. "Tell me then, Nikolai... Tell me what am I supposed to do? Because nothing I do is good enough for you. You constantly berate me, you ask me to follow your lead and then you get angry when I don't do it. But you also get angry if I do it. Tell me what am I supposed to do here because I'm tired. I don't want this anymore..."

I wrapped my arms around myself and walked backward until my back landed against the rope of the ring. I hung my head and let the tears flow.

"Evangeline..."

"I know, Grace is everything you want and I'll never be that. She is submissive, obedient, and respectful. She is everything I'm not and I'll never be like her because if you were mine, Nikolai, I'd never agree to share you with another woman and I'd never tolerate you talking to me the way you did to her. All the while you were all over me on the kitchen counter! Can't you see how wrong it is?! You need to stop, please, just stop!" 

He walked closer to me, so close until I felt the heat of his body seeping into mine. "Look at me" he ordered and I shook my head. "Look at me, Evangeline."

"Why? So, you can make fun of me? So, you can tell me how pathetic I am for crying? How stupid I am to even think about us in such a way? Trust me I know that already!" I snapped through my tears. I could see them dropping onto the boxing ring floor.

"Look at me, Angel..."

I sucked in a sharp breath. I sniffled, he had no right to call me that. He had no right to be this close to me.

Slowly, I raised my head and looked at him through tear-filled eyes.

"I just needed to buy some time..."

"What?" I breathed out.

"My father, he wouldn't even think twice before getting rid of you, he will kill you without a second thought."

I blinked, letting more tears roll down my cheeks, "Your father... why?"

"So, I'd marry Grace," he let out a soft breath before he wiped my tears with his thumb. "I told him that you were engaged to Scott, so, he wouldn't consider you a threat to my marriage."

"Threat to your marriage? Why would I be a threat to your marriage? There's nothing between us..."

He chuckled and placed both of his hands on the rope behind me on either side. "I'd be married right now if you hadn't been kidnapped, Angel"

I opened and closed my mouth a few times, I didn't understand what he meant by that. I wiped my tears and sniffled. "What do you mean?"

"I was in Sicily when you got kidnapped. My wedding was supposed to be in two days but I left. I left to make sure you were safe, I left to get you back."

"You..." I breathed heavily. "You missed your wedding because of me?"

He lifted a shoulder nonchalantly, "Grace will never be my wife. I needed some time to figure out a way to get out of this marriage without starting a war."

I swallowed, not understanding what he wanted to do. "But I thought she was perfect. I thought... you wanted her to be your wife."

"I don't want a submissive, mob wife. I think I like disrespectful spoiled little brats more."

"I don't understand..." I whispered but the words got muffled into my mouth as he pressed his lips to mine.

I stiffened at first but then his hands went to my waist in an instant. I slipped my hand around his neck and pulled him down to my height.

A surge of adrenaline rushed through my blood. I responded to his kiss with urgency, he drove our kiss deeper, harder, and rougher.

I had never felt what I was feeling right at this moment. I explored his mouth with a newfound passion. I loved the feeling of his strong arms around me. His mouth tasted so good, so addicting, I could kiss him my whole life and never get tired of it.

His hands dropped down to my legs and he pulled them up and wrapped them around his waist, making my core touch his erection through his boxer shorts.

He bit down on my lower lip, pulling at it harshly, I tried to mimic his actions, to kiss and bite him back, and he only groaned in approval. He spanked my ass as I sucked and nibbled on his bottom lip.

It was crazy, rough, raw, and filthy and I loved every single second of it.

He left my lip only to trail kisses down my throat, I threw my head back giving him more access. My mouth opened in a soundless scream, and I could feel him pushing his erection between my legs.

Then I felt his platinum ring brushing against my butt cheek as he kneaded it roughly. With both of my hands, I pulled his face away from my neck.

He grunted with annoyance, I don't want him to pull away either but we need to stop. I won't be the other woman, I won't be the mistress. He needs to either get out of this engagement or let me go, he can't have the best of both worlds.

"We shouldn't..."

"Why?" his voice was rough, aggressive.

"You're engaged..."

"I won't be for long."

"But you still are... either figure out a way to end it or let me go. I don't wanna be the other woman or your mistress. I have too much respect for myself than to be someone's mistress."

He made me stand on the ground on my feet and chuckled. "You just know how to rub me off the wrong way, don't you?"

I furrowed my eyebrows. It wasn't my intention to do so, I was just stating a fact.

"Whatever it is, I won't let you use me."

"I'm not using you, Angel."

"This shouldn't have happened"

He laughed humorlessly. "Why the fuck not?"

"You are wearing her ring... as long as you have that ring on your finger, this won't happen again."

I walked past him and got out of the ring. I picked up a bottle of water, the one Nikolai had drunk from earlier and took it with me. I headed toward the door, halted, and turned to look at him.

He was still in the ring, his hands gripping the rope, eyes trained on me. He looked furious, the monster taking over him, his knuckles had turned white showing how hard he was gripping the poor rope.

I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat and gave my head a gentle shake. I strode out of the gym with my legs shaking like crazy and my heartbeat out of control.

I made a huge mistake.

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