"Ion like how you tryna make it seem like I'm a creep" The Guy playfully mugged me as we sat at the bar in the club I was slightly drunk and he just looked high.

"I mean you said that I been drinking and crying all night so you had to be watching me" I chuckled

"Yea Yea whatever" he chuckled

"What's your name" I asked

"Cain"

"Kasiyah" I smiled a little

He walked up to me and started talking to me making jokes and just letting me be me I honestly felt genuinely happy for the first time in a while.

"Well Cain I'm gonna go home and clean myself up cause I know I look a mess and your just smiling in my face like I don't" I chuckled getting up leaving the money for my drinks on the counter , knocking on it catching the servers attention and pointed to the money and she nodded making her way to me.

"Thanks have a nice day" she smiled counting the money

"Aye wait Lemme get your number" he licked his lips, keeping eye contact. I hid my small smile and held my hand out for his phone. He handed it to me and I put my number in saving it under 'Siyah🥷🏾' .

"Why that emoji" he chuckled

"You really wanna know why" I chuckled

He nodded.

"Ok look at the darkskin in the white dress" I said. As he skimmed through the crowed I slow backed away blending into the crowd and walked out side to my car starting it and getting in.

I soon got a text from a random number.

(312-346-8888)
Really💀?

Siyah🥷🏾
Who's this?

(312-346-8888)
Cain😒

Siyah🥷🏾
Oh lol😂 but now do you understand why

(312-346-8888)
Yea🙄. Text me when you get home safely li ma.

Siyah🥷🏾
How you know I ain't home yet?

(312-346-8888)
You home yet?

Siyah🥷🏾
No..

(312-346-8888)
Exactly

I chuckled and exited outta our messages before enjoying the quiet ride back to my home.

"Hello Family" I walked into the house seeing my 2 brothers on the couch playing the game and my mother in the kitchen smoking a cigarette looking like a fucking junky.

"You look just like yo damn daddy" she mugged me "it's sad girl.. go wash up and it's dinner if you want" she said

"No thanks ma I ate" I lied and walked to the couch kissing both of my brothers cheeks.

"Love you" they both said not taking there eyes off of the TV

They always made it Known that they loved me and tried to show it as much as they could. They only did it cause we had a ruff childhood. They started to sell at like 14 and 15 just to provide,  our mother did what she could before she just.. gave up. We now live in a nice home that has 5 bed rooms and and upstairs and downstairs with a basement.

"Pull me out pull me out pull me out" I sung

I walked into the bathroom turning on my water so I could get in. I grabbed my speaker and hooked it to my phone going to my depressed bitch playlist. I played one of my favorite song and sung word for word.

Laying in the silence
Waiting for the sirens
Signs, any signs I'm alive still
I don't wanna lose it
But I'm not getting through this
Hey, should I pray
Should I pray, yeah, to myself
To a God? To a saviour who can

" Unbreak the broken
Unsay these spoken words
Find hope in the hopeless
Pull me out the train wreck
Unburn the ashes
Unchain the reactions now
I'm not ready to die not yet
Pull me out the train wreck
Pull me out, pull me out
Pull me out, pull me out
Pull me out" I sung stepping outta my clothes.

Underneath our bad blood
We've still got a sanctum
Home, still a home, still a home here
It's not too late to build it back
'Cause a one in a million chance
Is still a chance, still a chance
And I would take those odds

Unbreak the broken
Unsay these spoken words
Find hope in the hopeless
Pull me out the train wreck
Unburn the ashes
Unchain the reactions
I'm not ready to die, not yet
Pull me out the train wreck
Pull me out, pull me out
Pull me out, pull me out
Pull me out, pull me out

" You can say what you like
Don't say I wouldn't die for it
I'm down on my knees
And I need you to be my God
Be my help, be a saviour
Who can" I sung loudly feeling the words.
"Unbreak the broken
Unsay these reckless words
Find hope in the hopeless
Pull me out the train wreck
Unburn the ashes
Unchain the reactions
I'm not ready to die, not yet
Pull me out the train wreck
Pull me out, pull me out
Pull me out, pull me out
Pull me out, pull me out" I sung loudly letting the tears roll down my face and the horrible flashbacks haunt me as I slid down the shower walls balling my eyes out.

The way he forced my pants off and beat me. Forcing his way into me as I cried for him to stop, the way I kicked and he held my legs enjoying every bit of it my screaming, the way he forced his self into me and the tears on my face. My own best friend.

Another one appeared as I ran down the street playing catch with my mothers boyfriend. I laughed as I fell to the grass. "DONT GET up" I barely heard from the voice of my father.. "what you say" I stood up outta the grass "NO SIT DOWN" he said again but to late cause 2 shots had already been sent into my thigh and stomach. I sat choking on my blood as I thought I'd never see my 15th birthday. That was the day after my birthday and we just got back in town.

My father died 2 years ago trying to save me. It was like I always needed saving so some one around me gets hurt.. I think that's why my mother is so shady towards me.

"Hey hey hey" My brothers rushed into the bathroom after getting it unlocked.

"Hmm put on yo towel" Kaysen closed his eyes looking to the side holding my towel out the me.

"Here there are your clothes hurry up and get dressed" Nasir set my clothes on the bed and left out the room

I wiped my face and went back in the bathroom washing up and getting out and doing the rest of my hygiene before putting on my clothes and going into Nasir room where they where waiting for me.

I hopped in the bed and got under the cover.

"You ok Sy" They looked at me making me nod.

"You sure? You know we got you if nobody do" Kaysen assured.

"Yes thank you I love y'all"

"We love you too" they kissed my forehead before they each laid on one side of me. We where laying the long way so it was enough room.

And within some minutes they where sleep and I was up thinking. I soon went to sleep also.

_____________________________________________________

The stuff she been through making me not wanna do the messed up things I got in-stored for her😂.

-SlimFinnaGoThink💆🏾‍♀️