tw: one drunk angry mf

May 21, 1977
10:13 pm
Hogwarts

"Anneliese, Marlene didn't mean it," Sirius said as he stepped outside after her, Callaway's back and golden hair to him. "She's drunk, they all are, they're not thinking straight-"

Black was shocked to see that when Anneliese turned around, she didn't have a calm, reasonable expression on her face like she usually did when someone said something about her in the past few months.

Not even when her old broom had been brought back out did she look like this, and that was the time if any that she should be truly angry.

Instead of just barely raised eyebrows, blinking a little too often, and slightly parted lips ready to open to talk and change the subject away from her, this look made Sirius's heart sink.

Anneliese's features were all completely broken, like somebody had taken a hammer to her heart and none of the pieces were fitting into a neat puzzle of a fake smile anymore like they had for too long.

Callaway's brow was furrowed as her eyes became wide and unblinking and full of watered down blue that just seemed faded and tired instead of their normal dark vibrance. Her light pink lower lip was trembling as she struggled to take breaths in.

The past few months had started as a way to make her feel better. This had all started so that Anneliese could be perfect for herself and hold onto Sirius. But now, she realized that that facade had become much more than a facade to everyone around her.

It had become who she was.

If anyone remembered the loud, somewhat dramatic, and incredibly short tempered girl that Anneliese used to be, then they certainly didn't show it.

Now all anyone seemed to know was this girl who never spoke about her own problems, always listened to others and put their needs before her own, and would do whatever it took to make sure that she stayed well liked by everyone, but mainly Sirius.

And those were all good traits to have, but not when they were her only ones.

Anneliese didn't know when things had gotten so silently out of control, but her best guess was when Remus and James saw her kissing Black in the hallway.

That night had been the time when she felt most like she was going to implode into dozens of pieces that could never be fixed, and it had also been the time when she forced herself to go through that alone.

The most help Callaway had ever sought was sharing a bed with Sirius, and the only reason she even allowed herself that was because she knew that he enjoyed it too, therefore making it not selfish.

When she had quit the quidditch team, Anneliese thought, was when things had started to go uncontrollably downhill.

That was when her exhaustion had started to overtake her, that was when she saw her classmates only during class and meals while spending the rest of her time alone working on her essay or with that black dog who had become her lifeline.

And now, that exhaustion was preventing her from doing something very important to Anneliese in the past months. She just simply didn't have enough energy to do it anymore, and she found that in a sudden rage, she no longer cared either.

Callaway was done with pushing aside her anger.

"Oh, this is golden, isn't it?" she spat to Sirius, eyes narrowed and one finger against his chest. "Don't act like you suddenly care, Black. Just say that you don't and go have fun at your stupid little party, maybe talk some shit about me while you're at it-"

Sirius felt a wave of dread was over him as the words from Remus and James that he had pushed aside one too many times popped back into his head far too late.

Then she's going to snap.

"Woah, woah, Anneliese, listen to me," said Sirius slowly, realizing what he had done and that he should have been saying this the second he saw how she was acting differently. "Just calm down, talk this out with me, I'm here-"

"YOU'RE HERE TOO FUCKING LATE, YOU IDIOT!" Callaway shouted, tears violently invading her voice. "YOU COULD HAVE BEEN HERE SO MANY TIMES, BUT YOU WEREN'T AND YOU WERE SELFISH AND YOU WERE AWFUL."

"ANNELIESE!" Sirius shouted, trying to cut her off. "LISTEN TO ME, PLEASE-"

"I AM NOT LISTENING TO YOU AGAIN!" Anneliese exclaimed, shoulders starting to shake. "I AM NOT STAYING QUIET FOR A SECOND LONGER BECAUSE I THINK THAT YOU'RE GOING TO THINK THAT I'M SELFISH BECAUSE I WANT TO TALK ABOUT MYSELF FOR ONCE INSTEAD OF YOU!"

And there it was. After weeks, the truth, Callaway's fear, out in the open.

Sirius's first thought was that he should have listened to Remus. He was right all along, of course he was. So why hadn't he listened to Lupin? Well, the answer was right in front of him.

Because Black was more selfish than Anneliese could be if she tried.

"Why the fuck would you ever, ever, think that you of all people are selfish?" Sirius whispered in horror, eyes desperately darting all over her features for answer. "Anneliese, you're the least selfish person I know-"

"NO I'M FUCKING NOT!" Callaway sobbed, shaking her head as she looked at Black. "I AM SELFISH, SIRIUS, I JUST SAY NOTHING BECAUSE IF I DO, THEN YOU'RE NOT GOING TO LOVE ME ANYMORE!"

"WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU EVER THINK THAT?" Sirius cried, looking at her with wide, pleading grey eyes. "WHAT DID I DO TO MAKE YOU THINK THAT, PLEASE, ANNELIESE-"

"Oh, let me think," Anneliese said with enough venom in her voice to make a basilisk scared, taking a step away from Sirius. "When I said that I wanted to keep our relationship private, what did you do?"

Black paused, the memories flooding back to him as he suddenly wasn't sure if he was supposed to answer anymore or not.

"I ASKED YOU WHAT YOU DID, BLACK!" Anneliese yelled, hands trembling but chin high through her tears. "I want to hear you say it."

Sirius cringed as he recounted his own words.

Holy shit, I didn't realize that you were so self absorbed with what other people thought of you! So yea, let's pretend that we're just friends! Let's do that and see how it turns out if you're going to be such a fucking coward!

"I-I told you that you were cowardly and self absorbed and-" Black stammered with furrowed eyebrows as his gaze moved from the floor to her, hardly able to believe those words had ever come from his mouth. "Anneliese, I'm so sorry-"

"So imagine how I felt when I picked up your Map and saw that it says that Padfoot thinks that I'm selfish and I constantly invalidate other people's emotions and then about an hour later the owner of that nickname calls me a bitch."

Sirius couldn't believe how blind he was, but now Anneliese was on a roll.

"Do you want to know what you said to me in that letter, Sirius?" she whispered, arms crossed against her Bee Gees tshirt. "You said that I could hold onto you."

Black couldn't stop the tears from prickling into his eyes as he turned his head away from Callaway in shame.

"Sure, you helped me with a few easy, small things that were up to your emotional workload in your pathetic little wreck of a life you have going on here," Anneliese spat coldly. "But when something too hard came up for you to think about among your various addictions, daddy and mommy issues, you just turned a blind eye because for you, it's that easy."

Callaway turned her head away from him and blinked a few times as she stared into the amber flame of a steel mounted torch, crippling dejection briefly overtaking her fury.

"And I didn't complain, Sirius," she said, corners of her mouth tugging down. "Because I love you and you will never understand how much I care about you. I said nothing because I wanted to hold onto you, but you never once extended your hand like I have."

It hurt more because nothing she was saying was a lie.

Black wished selfishly that the ceiling would cave in on them, nothing was worth Anneliese hurting like this and him wishing he could go back in time and change things, nothing-

"And believe me, I'm not blind," Callaway whispered, talking faster by the second. "I saw how many times that you saw that something was wrong, and then you just pushed it aside and took all that I've done for granted. This isn't a kind of relationship where we owe each other favors, but-"

Anneliese had to pause to steady her breath. She didn't even try to calm her heart, though, she knew that cause would be absolutely useless.

"But I just want something from you to show me that you care and won't leave me if I'm not perfect and not selfless. My demands aren't high to make."

Black waited for the blow that he knew was coming.

"Yet you disappointed me, Sirius, and I'm just too fucking exhautsed to know what to do anymore," Anneliese finsihed, throat raw and scratchy. "I just don't know.. I don't know what to do.."

Before either of them could process the words finally spilled like blood from a cut after weeks of the wound slowly being slit, a distraction sounded.

There was a loud slam from the wooden door as all of the other eight members of their year came out, the two sides of their split expressions sharing nothing in common besides their severity.

James, Frank, Dorcas, and Marlene's features were all clouded over with a sick kind of drunken rage that made Anneliese's stomach turn as her gaze mainly focused on Potter.

Remus, Alice, Lily, and Peter were the opposite of the others. They wore looks of confusion and doubt, but most of all determination to set whatever the hell was going on here right no matter what it took.

All of Anneliese's vulnerability hardened into stone cold fury the second that the rest of these infuriatingly angering people walked out into the hallway.

She was suddenly tying together her broken pieces with brittle strings made of pure ice.

"No," she said, shaking her head as she scanned their faces, not even knowing what she was looking for but knowing that she wasn't going to find it in these people. "Just no."

"We just want to know why the hell you quit the quidditch team and cost our house all its dignity, A," Dorcas said with a falsely pitying tone, lower lip pouted. "Is that too much to ask?"

Anneliese's eyes briefly flicked to James before just shaking her head again, turning on her heel, and walking away. Maybe she could make peace with Sirius, but sure as hell not all these British assholes.

"ANNELIESE!" James shouted, walking after her without a split second of hesitation. "WE NEED TO TALK."

Sirius and Remus exchanged a glance of panic before following after them instantly, and the other six quickly did the same in turn.

"I AM NOT TALKING TO YOU OF ALL PEOPLE, JAMES!" Anneliese said, voice cracking as she didn't even look him in the eye. "Leave me the fuck alone."

Callaway didn't even have time to watch where she was going, all that she wanted was for her steps to lead her away from Potter. James, however, had been steering them towards the astronomy tower.

Potter pulled out his wand the second Anneliese ascended up the first step and got a yard or so away from the door.

And before Black or Lupin could, the door to the stairs of the astronomy tower was magically locked shut and barricaded from the inside with spare crates of crystal balls and dozens of heavy brass telescopes.

"PRONGS, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" Sirius shouted, a jolt of panic going through him as he looked at the blocked door. "JAMES!"

When Remus was drunk, literally no one could tell the difference besides that he didn't speak with quite as big of words as normal. When Peter was drunk, he laughed uncontrollably at everything. When Sirius was drunk, he was either alarmingly numb or alarmingly emotional with nowhere in between.

When Potter was drunk, he was unpredictable.

"Alohomora," Alice muttered, and the door swung open after a brief flash of golden light around the rusted steel keyhole.

This wasn't the right move to make. Actually, it was probably the worst possible thing any of them could have done.

Fortescue would have thought through it more or someone would have stopped her if any of them were less panicked, but that was unfortunately not the case tonight.

Every single one of the crates and metal and glass toppled down all at once when the door bracing their weight was released, causing several shouts and several shoves resulting in half a second of pure, blaring chaos before the objects used the students as living buffers in their descent and then crashed violently onto the stone floor.

One of the glass orbs hit Frank directly over the head, causing blood to splatter all down his shirt and then his forehead as an extension as he banged into the wall, holding his head. The alcohol probably hadn't helped either.

Lily had grabbed Alice's waist and yanked her away from the door the second she realized what was about to happen, and both girls were flat on their backs, eyes pressed shut as they struggled to regain the breath that had just been knocked right from their lungs.

Marlene, Peter, and Dorcas hadn't been so quick on their feet.

All three of them had been hit right in the chest, stomach, and thighs by the heavy metal telescopes, knocking their already drunk centers of gravity off balance and causing so many collisions of brass against flesh and bone and ribs that none of them could count how many bruises they had within the next few days.

Sirius, however, had the quickest reflexes out of them all besides Anneliese and James, but neither of them were here right then.

Black's hand had already been twitching at his wand the second Potter had the nerve to talk to his girl like that, and he whipped it out to cast a Shield Charm around Remus and him the instant the door was opened.

The light that burst from the tip of his wand only protected him and Lupin, and they watched the flurry of material topple over them with small cringes as they knew for certain there was no way all of their friends behind them had been so lucky.

The moment that they both heard shouts coming from both up the stairs and below them, they were proved wrong yet again that the night couldn't get any worse.

Anneliese was sobbing as she slammed the door out to the open air behind her, hoping that James wouldn't be too far behind her. He was drunk after all, there was no way he was as good on his feet with that much alcohol in his system.

She barely had time to catch her breath before Potter walked out into the warm late spring night air behind her. Anneliese took in a deep inhale to turn and face him, speaking before he could.

"WHAT IS YOUR GOAL HERE, JAMES?" Callaway cried over the wind, continuing to step away from him. "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?"

"Just a bit of privacy," Potter hissed in reply, eyes darting back to the door briefly to make sure no one would hear. "So we can talk about what happened and why you cost me the fucking Quidditch Cup."

If Anneliese was slightly less blinded by her anger that was finally exploding, then she would have registered the look in James's bleary eyes. She would have registered that no matter what her answer was, it was going to be wrong and he was going to be furious.

She should have registered that Potter was like a loaded gun, and she was about to pull the trigger on herself.

"You shouldn't have kissed me-" Anneliese started, but he cut her off immediately, rage blazing in his expression only amplified by the firewhiskey.

"WHY'D YOU SLAP ME, A?" James shouted right in her face, steps quick as he followed her to the edge. "WHY'D YOU SLAP ME, HUH? IT WAS NICE BEFORE YOU FUCKING HIT ME!"

Callaway tried to keep backing away from Potter, only to find that the small of her back hit the short wall of the tower, flesh against stone and no way out.

She could smell the alcohol on his breath.

James didn't even seem to realize what he was doing, he was made cruel and cold and vengeful by the firewhiskey along with the emotions of terror that he already felt that Anneliese was going to say something.

And even Potter with all of his amazing and loyal and caring traits that usually shone through instead of the bad ones was no exception to the fact that fear made people do awful things.

Sirius heard James's shouts, and adrenaline rushed through him so fiercely that he didn't even register setting his feet down on the steps from how fast he was moving.

The only time Black had moved like this was when he heard Dumbledore and Anneliese shouting at Queenie's apartment, and it was becoming a bit of a morbid pattern for him to rush to Callaway when she was in pain.

Lily and Alice's thighs burned as they raced up the stairs, running with so much momentum that they both ran into Remus ahead of them as they made the sharp turn to come to the top of the tower.

Marlene and Peter made it up only a few seconds later, and then Dorcas propping up a very confused Frank on her arm as they walked out into the whipping wind.

Callaway's fingers moved to her wand in fear, but not before the voice of James's best friend came from behind him in one of the most angry tones she had ever heard Sirius speak in.

"Get the hell away from her, James."

Potter whipped around in drunken shock to see Black standing there with his wand in hand and fist clenched, and then suddenly seemed to realize what was happening. He did a small double take as he turned around yet again and saw Callaway's frightened face so close to his.

James stumbled back away from her, but it was already too late.

Anneliese's heart was racing as her golden hair was moving all around her face as the wind blew, thick strands getting stuck to the tacky, salty tears all over her freckled cheeks.

She could barely even register what James had said, how close he had just been to her, how close he was to hurting her again.

After all of these weeks, some of the first words he spoke to her were it was nice before you hit me.

Not an apology for saying nothing when everyone was angry while Potter silently knew that it was his fault, not even an apology for pressing his lips against hers with such severe arrogance without even a shred of permission.

Callaway didn't think that Potter knew in his drunken mind how many people were behind them after he saw Sirius, but even though not a drop of alcohol was in her blood, she found herself not caring either.

"Because I didn't want it!" she choked out, lips shaking as his seemed to be on hers again. "MAYBE IF I DID IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE, BUT THERE ARE TWO MUCH BIGGER ISSUES HERE!"

Lily, Sirius, and Remus were smart. Hell, they weren't just smart, they were some of the brightest wizards and witches of their year. But for all of their cleverness, they hoped for everything that they were wrong here.

"ONE, I AM IN LOVE WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND, AND TWO I DIDN'T FUCKING WANT IT. IT HURT ME JAMES, YOU HURT ME AND IT STILL HURTS."

James was frozen as he stared at Anneliese. All of his limbs suddenly felt locked, and all of his fears that she was going to say something were suddenly released from their cage and out in the open for everyone to hear.

Luckily, Remus put Potter out of his frozen state for him with a very hard shove to get him away