March 27, 1977
3:01 am
Gryffindor Common Room

Long after the rest of her year had gone to get some much needed sleep after the emotionally straining night, Anneliese laid on her back on top of the pillows of one of the empty common room couches, staring up at the high ceiling with the words of the parchment echoing in her head.

Remus needing validation tonight was one of the few times that Callaway had ever seen Lupin truly upset, and clearly even the other Marauders weren't used to seeing him so undone either.

I guess boys will do that to you, Anneliese thought sourly as she looked up with her hands folded on her stomach. They have a way of messing with your emotions, don't they?

Even though Callaway was happy that they had gotten the general idea of things sorted out for Remus and his unfair anger was no longer being projected onto too many people, her own issues were still left thoroughly unresolved.

Such a blur of emotions and shouting had occurred after what the Map had said to her that Anneliese had neither had time to process the words nor have someone give her a logical explanation while they were all focused on Remus.

Mr Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that Anneliese Callaway is such a selfish person who only seems to care about herself and her own reputation, not other people's feelings that she constantly invalidates.

Anneliese felt her stomach turn slightly with these words, still not understanding where they had come from. Every time that she thought of what the ink had said in Sirius's writing, she tried to make a few excuses to understand why they had appeared.

James said that it was just a defense mechanism for the parchment to protect it, Callaway reminded herself for the dozenth time. None of it actually means anything. And hell, that defense worked, because my hands were about to drop it from how badly they were shaking.

Anneliese slowly sat up for the first time in hours, and her head violently spun with the effort to even just prop herself up on her elbows.

Dark blue eyes scanning the coffee table, they landed on a pack of cigarettes belonging to some unknown, careless person who must have just left them there earlier in the night.

Then again, James also said that I should have stayed in an orphanage while I had the chance, Callaway reminded herself. Fuck this, I don't even know what to think about anything anymore.

Her skeleton tattooed hand reached forward to grab one of them along with the lighter resting next to it, also abandoned. Anneliese always felt like smoking would help, but it was really just the habit of doing it with Leo ever since she was thirteen that did the trick.

Cigarettes were like having him there as a form of comfort, and Callaway let herself bask in it for a few moments as she shut her eyes and leaned back on the couch.

"I can smell the smoke from my dorms," a familiar voice whined like a toddler from the steps. "Go to sleep, A."

"Shut the hell up, James, and then maybe I would be able to," Anneliese snapped back, still with her eyes shut. "Actually, if you keep talking to me, I will shove this cigarette up your ass along with where your head is."

Potter cringed slightly. He had been expecting this hostile form of greeting when coming down to the common room, but it still hurt.

"We need to talk about the Map," James said with a frown, walking over to Anneliese. "I-"

"Yea, no shit we need to talk about that stupid paper!" Callaway cried furiously, sitting up all the way with tears in her eyes. "Believe me, the only reason all of you aren't dead is because poor little Remus was-"

"Please, don't insult Remus," Potter cut her off, shutting his eyes briefly as he winced. "Obviously-"

"No, not obviously anything," Anneliese whispered in a hurt voice. "I set aside my own issues to make sure that he was okay, but now I can't- I can't even look at you."

"What the bloody hell did it say that I said?" asked James softly in return. "I don't know if you heard what Moony said about the charm or if you had already left, but-"

"It said that you thought I should have stayed in some orphanage when I had a chance, and that you agreed with Remus that I was the most ignorant person to other people's problems that he ever had the misfortune of meeting."

Anneliese's expression rapidly flickered between hurt and anger in the common room firelight, like she couldn't decide which one to look at James with.

Potter didn't even try to deny it at first, because he knew that the more emotional and quick in response he was, the less Callaway would believe his very true and honest words.

"Can we sit, please?" James asked in a small voice, and Anneliese just then realized that she had stood up in her anger. "Like I said before, you deserve an explanation, and you already helped Remus through his shit, so he won't interrupt this time."

Callaway just stared at Potter hesitantly for a few seconds before settling back down onto the couch and disposing of the barely used cigarette in a copper ashtray.

Just like he had on the bench, James sat down right next to Anneliese with their legs touching. Unseen to Potter, she gripped the nearest throw blanket tightly, forcing herself to allow the contact of skin not initiated by her.

For a few moments, there was just the sound of the crackling common room fire as they sat there. There was an enormous amount of angry tension between them, both knowing that if one of them said something slightly wrong, the other would snap.

James reached over Anneliese slightly to grab a pillow and hug it to his chest like a teddy bear, and Callaway was suddenly very aware of how small her pajamas were.

The boy kept their eyes straight forward, because if they turned their necks, their faces would be literally inches apart.

"Okay, so the Map is exactly what it sounds like," Potter started slowly, knowing he was on thin ice here. "A map of Hogwarts, except this one that we created tracks the people on it too. We can see where everyone is, every minute of every day-"

If Anneliese had been eating or drinking something, she would have choked. Instead, she somehow managed to do the same thing on just the air in her lungs, and started coughing rapidly.

"THAT IS SUCH AN INVASION OF PRIVACY!" she shouted furiously. "ARE YOU MENTAL-"

All of the pent up anger she had to keep in while helping Remus was suddenly exploding, and both of them saying sitting down and being calm didn't last long.

"IT'S REALLY NOT THAT BAD IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT!" James defended himself. "WELL-"

Anneliese watched with crossed arms as his expression faltered as he actually thought through his words. Potter tilted his head to the side slightly with a furrow in his brow, slowly seeming to realize that maybe the Map was a bit dodgy.

"Mhm, exactly," Callaway bit back with narrowed eyes. "It's a horrible thing to make, for what, the sake of pranks?! Just be more sneaky for fuck's sake, that's like cheating- AND YOU HAVE THE CLOAK! HOW BAD AT SNEAKING AROUND CAN YOU GET THAT YOU NEED THAT MAP?!"

"OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT-"

As was to be expected, two of the loudest Gryffindors to ever attend Hogwarts shouting at one another in the common room at three am was going to wake some people up.

Most students, however, just charmed their doors to repel the noise if there wasn't already a spell to do so placed on the thick mahogany. Going to school with the Gryffindor Class of '78 was already an exhausting task, and performing those charms was just a habit at this point.

Sirius, on the other hand, was already wide awake, just like Anneliese.

Remus had passed out the second his head hit the pillow, which was no surprise to anyone after the events of the night with Callaway and how she had helped him through his anger.

Peter and Frank were also dead asleep with two differently rhythmed but still very loud snores going through the boy's dormitories, which just made Black even more restless and vaguely irritated.

He had watched James toss and turn in the bed to the left of him all night in the dark with the restless rustling of sheets joining the offbeat snores in the unsteady soundtrack of their dorm at night.

It became obvious they were both feeling overwhelming sensations of guilt about Anneliese in their own separate ways.

Sirius had heard James stand up a few minutes earlier. No matter how hard Potter tried to be stealthy, it just didn't work. A thin strip of golden light shone into their dorms with his exit, and then the door was shut again.

Black hadn't thought too much of it until he heard James and Anneliese in a screaming match.

The noises were muffled and words unclear, but the tones and patterns of the way the two people shouted their words were unmistakable for his best mate and his girlfriend.

And as far as Black was concerned, that was never a good combination.

Quickly, Sirius swung his legs out from his bed, not bothering to put a shirt on as he stood and went out the door as well.

Both of his fellow sixth years were too busy in their intense conversation to notice his presence leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.

"No, because that is the most bullshit excuse that I've ever heard," Anneliese spat at James. "Remus was angry when he recast the spell so it made the piece of fucking paper insult me more? I don't think so."

"It's true!" James cried emphatically, arms out in front of him. "Believe me, Anneliese, none of us would ever say those things about you, much less think or feel them!"

Anneliese looked like she desperately wanted to believe him, and the emotional exhaustion on her face was slowly giving into that desire.

"So they're not true, then?" Callaway asked in as angry of a voice as she could muster, crossing her arms over her chest. "You don't actually think that?"

James looked genuinely disgusted that she could even think such a thing.

"No, obviously not!" Potter said with revulsion at the kind of person she thought he was. "You're brilliant, Anneliese!"

Sirius narrowed his eyes, literally staring directly at the back of James's head as he listened.

"Not anyone can just waltz into Hogwarts and make an alliance with Peeves on their first day!" Potter continued, smiling slightly. "It takes talent and strength and resilience to have gotten through what you have."

Callaway's lips parted slightly as she took a shaking breath in.

"So no, I didn't know what Hogwarts was missing before, but now I would never ever want you to leave," James said, completely honest and without a shred of doubt. "Spike my drink with veritaserum, I'd say the same thing."

Anneliese genuinely didn't know what to say. She would have thought that James telling her this would help her, but for some reason the words just didn't feel full. Not that in any way Potter was lying, of course.

Just because James wasn't.. him.

Something about Sirius was just so comforting and kind even as he gave her tough love at the same time. No one else could possibly make Anneliese feel so safe. Not even Potter's enthusiastic words now.

James seemed to recognize that Callaway was still searching for something more, and then it in turn took him a few more seconds to realize that she was searching for something more than he could provide.

"Hey, Anneliese," Potter said, the lowest his tone had been the whole night. "I'm sure.. I know you're thinking about him."

She did that tiny motion with her eyebrows and lips, the one showing slight surprise along with the much stronger desire whenever someone brought up Sirius dwelling in her mind so often.

The one that made Black want to cut it off with his lips on hers and make her surprised for a different reason.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Anneliese whispered back, quickly covering her shock by turning her chin away from James. "I'm not thinking about anyone."

"And I haven't been standing here this whole time."

Potter and Callaway both let out nearly identical yelps of shock as they whipped around to see Sirius standing with his arms crossed against the wall.

A small smirk formed on Black's face as he looked at Anneliese's toned legs made very visible with her pajama shorts, in a way that suddenly made Callaway wish she had a blanket to wrap around her waist.

In turn, a furious blush formed on her freckled cheeks as Anneliese saw him without a shirt. It didn't matter how many times she saw him like this, the subtle yet firm muscles and lean waist got her every damn time.

Their reactions to the others' physical appearances quickly faltered, however, when Callaway's expression turned hurt and confused towards Sirius.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Black asked, holding his hands up in joking surrender. "Everything that James said is true, I would never-"

"Yea, see I don't believe you," Anneliese cut him off, emotions sharply changing from needing Sirius to being very angry as she connected some dots. "You may not have said it word for word, but you've definitely told me that I only care about my reputation and I invalidate your emotions."

James was expecting for Sirius to instantly deny these words. Instead, Black lost his smirk completely and shifted against the wall with vague discomfort and he failed to deny Anneliese's words.

Okay, this is not the comforting she needed, mate, Potter thought, literally ready to bang his head against the very solid, stone wall. Wait- when the fuck did he say that to her?

"Pads, when the bloody hell did you tell A that?" James asked, readjusting his glasses. "Did I miss something.. or was it just a dick move?"

Potter suddenly felt a protective urge to help Anneliese.

He had always watched his best mate play so many damn girls, and even though he laughed it off, it still bothered him not far below the surface. He knew that Sirius had a lot of emotional shit going on, but still, it hurt to watch him so carelessly make so many people hurt.

James had really hoped when Anneliese first came that she was going to somehow make Sirius a better person, and for the most part, she had. Now that they were back from New York, though, his treatment of her had changed a bit.

Before, Black had been as careful as he could around Callaway, checking in subtle ways to make sure that she was safe and defending her even if it was behind her back.

And before their big fight on the astronomy tower, he became one of the kindest versions of himself that any of the Marauders had ever seen when it came to Anneliese in his own Sirius way.

None of them would have ever thought he would open up about his past, even if just a vague idea so quickly with someone, nor show them patient, silent loyalty until Callaway came and changed the way he saw things.

Now, though, he was acting very differently towards Anneliese.

Not that she was disposable by any means, but almost like he didn't really care what he said to her or around her, even if it hurt slightly. Black wasn't necessarily the first to notice that something was wrong with her anymore, yet he did still step up many times.

Like when she was upset over that story in the Prophet, James reminded himself. Don't convince yourself that he's being a dick to her, come on.

But then Anneliese's angry expression when she said no, Black, this is worse than you just calling me a bitch again. Believe me, I'm used to that bullshit by now had been so upset that James didn't know what to think anymore.

Remus would have figured it out if he was down there with all of the hints he had gathered earlier, but Potter just wasn't that emotionally perceptive for the life of him.

"James, don't talk about things you don't understand," Sirius snapped, bringing Potter back to reality and out of his thoughts. "And believe me, you have no idea what's going on here."

"Well then tell me," Potter said back, eyes narrowed. "It's not that fucking hard."

Anneliese's eyes widened slightly at how hostile both the boys sounded. She didn't like it at all, it was too reminiscent of that damn foster home. A small shake went through her knees.

Neither of them noticed.

"No, because no matter how much you think I don't like Anneliese, you're wrong, and I respect her desire to keep some stuff private," Sirius spat. "So if anything, you're the one being the prick here-"

"Please, shut the fuck up before I hex you," James said back. "I swear to Merlin-"

"Hey!" Anneliese said, and both of them looked at her quickly, both having forgotten that she was in the room with them. "It's three in the morning, and neither of you are thinking straight. Just.. just go to bed."

For the second time that night, Callaway was harshly shoving her own problems away to help people deal with theirs.

After both of them seeing her desperate look for them to stop, James and Sirius just glared at one another for a few more seconds before silently climbing back up the common room stairs.

The instant they were out of earshot with a violent slam of their door that made Anneliese's shoulders shake slightly, Callaway curled back up onto the couch, making herself into a tiny ball as she sobbed uncontrollably into the orange fabric.

All of the stress of keeping everyone else's issues resolved was eating her alive, but the last thing she wanted to be was selfish like Sirius had said on the Map.

Prove him wrong, right? Anneliese asked herself as the sobs intensified. Make sure he doesn't think any less of you. He has to still like you, he has to-

If you had told Callaway a year ago that she was sobbing over some boy that made her feel weak, she would have laughed and told you to go get sober.

Now, though, Sirius had cut her open and made her vulnerable. Every word that he said, she took to the heart, even though she knew it wasn't healthy. Black wasn't being careful, he was tossing her emotions around.

One day he would hug and comfort her, the next he would call her a bitch and not deny that she was being selfish when all Anneliese was doing was trying her best.

Now her best was wrong. Everything was wrong.

Even though Lupin hadn't been down in the common room like James had, it didn't take much of his brain power to be startled awake by the slammed door and then realize that something was very wrong.

Having played the role of the therapist friend dozens of times before, Remus knew just how Anneliese must be feeling. Like she couldn't tell anyone her own problems, like she had to keep being strong for everyone else.

He doubted that the boy she loved, and yes, Remus had no doubt that Sirius and Anneliese did love one another, calling her selfish even through a twisted map would help with those issues.

All it would do was make her feel more like she needed to be perfect all of the sudden and keep her real emotions locked up.

Remus also knew that the second people walked away, it was the easiest thing in the world to break.

Callaway had been there for him without hesitation even when he was being cruel to her, and he knew that right now more than ever all she needed was some form of comfort, even if it wasn't from the person