I woke up the next morning with a little bit of a stiff neck. I was squished in between the couch cushions and Chris who looked like he was about to fall off the edge of the couch. He was facing me with an arm draped across my waist. Still sound asleep, his mouth slightly ajar as he breathed in and out deeply. I smiled watching him for a moment. Whatever I had done in my life to earn his love I wasn't sure, but I knew I was lucky to have him.

I squirmed a little trying not to wake him up. I wasn't sure of the time but had a feeling I was going to be late for work if I didn't move now.

Chris stirred and his eyes twitched before fluttering open.

He smiled at me. "Hi." His voice was raspy from sleep.

"Hi yourself."

"Going somewhere?" He asked.

I nodded.

He closed his eyes again with a smile. I started to move to sit up but felt his fingers brush along the top of my underwear.

"Really?" I asked.

"Really." He didn't open his eyes but firmly pressed his body against mine and I could feel him growing hard. I laughed.

"Keep it in your pants sir."

"Well it's not my fault I woke up to you in that underwear!" He hooked his finger in the band of my underwear and pulled back letting it snap against my hip bone.

"Someone, not naming names, threw my shorts last night and I don't know where they went."

He chuckled into the pillow. "You shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes. Matter of fact, new rule. If you're home, you're naked."

I rolled my eyes, "What about you?"

"Sure." He lazily opened an eye. "I say we get naked right now."

"I'm sure you do." I playfully pinched his side.

He laughed but let me slide over him to get off the couch. I stopped midway to straddle him.

"Last night was really good." I ran my fingers through his hair. He inhaled deeply, closing his eyes he tilted his head from side to side in my hands.

"It was better than good." His hands ran up my back. "I've missed you so much Bree."

"I know." I wiggled my butt against his lap where he was still very much hard.

He shook his head slowly as a warning, "Don't do that if you're not prepared for the consequences."

"I'll have to take a rain check." I looked at the large clock above the mantel. "I have 30 minutes to get to work."

"You could stay home." He pushed his hips up from the couch making me bounce on his lap.

"I have court today." I stuck out my lower lip.

"Well I guess I'll have to take that rain check then."

"I'll make it up to you." I promised leaning down to kiss him.

"Oh I know you will." The kiss deepened and he pushed me back and off him practically shoving me to the floor. "You've got to go." He pointed, "I can't stop." He glanced down at his open pants.

"Take a cold shower." I offered with a laugh as I walked towards the bedroom.

"Won't help." He called after me. "Only cure for me is you."

I quickly grabbed the first clean outfit I saw in my closet and a pair of heels. My hair was a mess so I did my best to smooth it down but gave up, and opted for a messy bun instead. I cringed looking at myself in the mirror. This wasn't a good look for court. A mark on my neck caused me to do a double take and practically hit my head on the mirror as I dove forward to get a better look. Purple-red bruises were all over my lower neck and collar bone.

"CHRISTOPHER!" I yelled.

"What's up babe?" He pulled open the bathroom door where he was about to shower. I turned to scold him for leaving hickey's all over my neck but stopped short. He was stark naked with a charming grin on his face.

It took me a minute to compose myself but then I charged over to him. "Look what you did to my neck!" I pointed towards it.

"I need a better look." He took his finger and dipped it down into my cleavage.

"You're a 15-year-old boy!" I rolled my eyes but smiled.

"No, I'm just incredibly turned on by my wife."

"Well thank you." I stood on my tiptoes to kiss him. "You're not so bad yourself." I reached down and squeezed between his legs before quickly dashing off.

"BREELAN!" He yelled. But I just laughed as I grabbed my purse and ran out the front door.

I had my second therapy session that night after work. I felt much lighter then I had in months. Starting to open up to Chris was definitely helping. Although we still hadn't talked about the baby. I had gone back on birth control while he was in California. So there wasn't any reason to bring it up. When he asked me the night before if I was happy I wasn't sure how to answer. I wasn't happy but I wasn't unhappy. I still had a lot I needed to deal with and I was processing that.

The session started off asking how things had been going. I told her that Chris was back and we had...connected...

"Did you talk to him about how you were feeling about the miscarriage?" Dr Kelley asked.

I shook my head. "I went back on birth control. I didn't see the point in bringing it back up."

"Do you think it's a good idea to keep the feelings pushed deep down?" She wanted to know.

"I think we're fine. I think we can move past this." I shrugged.

"He's going to want to talk about this. You're harboring feelings of anger towards him."

"I wasn't angry at him last night." I pointed out.

"That's true. But that was last night. When he wants to talk about the baby or the miscarriage what do you think will happen then? How do you think you'll react?"
I was quiet and looked down to study my manicure.

"I think we need to really get to the route of the anger." She continued. "You said you were angry at him when he arrived at the hospital."

I nodded.

"He wasn't there." I said quietly. "I was alone and I tried to stop the blood-" I choked out. I hadn't even let myself think about that night since it happened. I shut it out, blocked it out.

"I woke up." I continued, "And I had sharp pains. Unbearable. And I felt the blood and I reached for Chris and he wasn't there. But if he was there maybe....maybe he could have helped. Or got help faster. He could have protected the baby. He could have protected me." I covered my mouth in attempt to hide a sob.

"Breelan." Dr. Kelley said softly. "Chris wouldn't have been able to stop it."

I nodded sniffling. She offered me a tissue and I accepted it. "I know that. I think. I don't know what I think." I said angry at myself. "I don't know why I'm mad at him."

"Is it because you feel that he wasn't there when you needed him?"

"But I understand why he wasn't. I shouldn't be mad at him."

"It doesn't have to make sense." Dr. Kelley advised. "How often would you say he's away for work?"

"A couple months throughout the year. Sometimes filming is longer. But he comes home a lot. I fly to set when I can."

"Have you ever felt mad at him, prior to the pregnancy, when he wasn't there because of work?"

I exhaled and thought about the question. "I don't think so. I'm very proud of him."

Dr. Kelley smiled.

"He wasn't there when I found out I was pregnant. I didn't feel angry. Just sad that he missed out. And when I originally took the test I wasn't even convinced I was pregnant. We weren't trying."

"Breelan I would like you to talk with Chris about the night of the miscarriage and explain to him what you felt and what you're feeling today."

"Ok." I agreed even though I had no intentions of doing so.

I called Kirsten on my way home from therapy.

"I feel like she's pushing me to talk about the miscarriage when things are finally starting to feel better. I don't want to go backwards."

"She's supposed to push you to talk about it. Bree just because you are ok right now, Dr. Kelley is right you haven't dealt with this. We've not even talked about it. And I don't think there has every been anything we haven't talked about. Do you realize this is the first time you've brought up the miscarriage? ever?"

"Well that's progress, right?" I turned onto Chris and mines street.

"Yeah, progress but how much have you and Chris talked about it?"

"We haven't." I admitted.

"Exactly."

"Ok, let me go."  I said with a sigh, "I'm pulling into the house."

"Talk to him. Love you. Bye."

My blue tooth disconnected as I pulled into the driveway.

I walked into the house to find Chris talking on the phone and cooking dinner.

He grinned widely at me as I came into the kitchen.

"Alright man, I gotta go. The wife's home.........will do. Bye." Chris hung up the phone and walked towards me.

"Who was that?" I wondered.

"Hemsworth."

"Thor?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah." Chris chuckled.

"I still find it weird that Thor knows who I am." I stepped around Chris opening the fridge.

Chris laughed. "How was therapy?"

"It was ok." I opened a bottle of water and took a long sip.

Chris eyed me unsure for a moment. "Ok. Hey I meant to ask you earlier but forgot. Chad and Hailee want to know if we want to go to the Hamptons Labor Day weekend. You up for that?"

"Yeah Hailee texted me something about that a couple days ago. I said I would talk to you."

"Could be fun. We can invite Kirsten and Nate. And I think Scott might come."

"OK. I've never been there before."

"I've been once. I think you'll like it." His arms encircled my waist and he leaned down to brush his lips gently across mine.

"I think." I set the water bottle down before wrapping my arms around his neck. "I like you. And I'd like to cash in that rain check."

"Your wish is my command my lady." He winked at me before picking me up over his shoulder and slapping me on my ass. "Dodger keep an eye on the food." He called as he carried me to the bedroom.