I changed the title of this chapter, as it was very similar to a prior one. Sorry for the confusion it might have caused.

Shado's position

The sun was shining in my eyes, blinding me. I stood on the mountain, staring out onto the ocean.

Lookout duty wasn't as bad as it sounded. Especially if you got to see the sunrise. That was the best. Every day he would take me onto the mountain and we would watch the sunrise and later the sunset.

Olli didn't understand why he did it. Why he cared. But that didn't matter. My eyes felt heavy, they always did here. Sleep wasn't possible very often and if it was, the nightmares of the day would keep you awake during the night.

He said I was too young to be here. Weren't we all? This place wasn't for children, no fore adults. It was for monsters. But the monsters weren't the ones trapped here. The monsters came with big boats and machine guns, with many men, and they always brought death with them.

And when they left. The victims were left behind because we wouldn't cooperate. Because we wouldn't help them. They blamed us for everything that went wrong and we just tried to leave. Tried to survive.

He promised that as soon as we would be away from this place. He'd take me to the best ice-cream place he knew and we would try all the flavours.

He'd show me what it was like to be living. What free was like? Every night he'd tell me what we would do when we were back. He promised to get me a motorbike and teach me how to ride it.

I longed for that day. The day we would do all those things. We had a list. It was a little log-book that had survived the plane crash and he gave it to me for my twelve birthday, my very first present. I drew us all in it.

Everyone who was on the island with us. They deserved to be remembered. All of them that had died and would probably still die here.

The scapegoat.
The playboy.
The blondie.
The assassin.
The man who died for his blood.

All of them. Also, a picture of me was in it. And every time someone died, the date would be written in the corner. Only the death date. Because nobody cared how old you were here.

I was eleven when I arrived here. After drifting for almost seven days I was weak and frail. Not that I wasn't like that before.

The asshole shot at me. Who in their right mind would try and kill an eleven-year-old girl just because she was there? The answer? The monster with serious anger issues. He got paid to do bad things here.

Bad things to us. He was a bad man, but now he is dead. Olli killed him, to save my life. Maybe Olli isn't too bad after all. But he still is an arrogant billionaire playboy.

He once told me death didn't exist. Only the moment before. And he was right. You can't say death is a thing because death is just an absence of life.

Just like there is no cold. Cold is an absence of heat. You always measure how much heat is somewhere. But something is cold when there is no more heat there.

Same with darkness. Again an absence of light. The day he told me this, was the day I lost my fear of the darkness. The fear of closing my eyes when you couldn't see your enemy coming.

Because it didn't matter. They would come either way.

I smiled. Life here was complicated but so easy at the same time. You knew who friend and enemy were.

Your enemy was the one with guns pointing to your head and the friend, he was the one who stepped in front of you to take the bullet.

I did that once. It was only about a month ago and sometimes I still felt the pain in my shoulder when I moved it too much. There would be a scar there forever, but I was proud of it.

If I hadn't stepped in front of him that day. He would have got a bullet straight through the head.

He called me reckless, stupid, but the small smile wouldn't fade from his face when he cleaned my wound. He was proud too. That was the first time I drank alcohol. At twelve. It numbed the pain and he said I deserved it. I remember my first sip of whiskey. It was Australian and burned in my throat. But I loved it.

We didn't get drunk or anything, not even tipsy. After two sips I gave the bottle back to him and said we should keep it for later.

He nodded and wanted to take a sip before putting the bottle away again, but I stopped him. I said he didn't deserve it as he only almost managed to get himself killed.

He chased me around our camp for a while before tickling the living daylight out of me.

'You really know how to bruise a man's ego, don't you Shado'

I could still hear his voice clear in my head. But I would never hear it again, not the same way at least.

My eyes flew open and I shot up with a gasp. I was on a huge bed with silk sheets on it. Someone had taken my shoes and jacked off, but otherwise, I was fully clothed.

The memory was burned into my head and I wanted to cry, or shout. I wanted to go back, but at the same time, never be remembered of that time again.

I thought of the night before and frowned. Everything came back to me. Bella fighting with Rose and Alice and also Caius coming into the room and taking me away.

Why was I so weak then? I wasn't supposed to be weak. The mate bond surely played a big part in it and I couldn't wait until I somehow broke it off or at least weakened it.

My hand automatically went to my wrist and pulled my sleeve up. I traced the scars with my finger. A hidden message I had carved into my skin. A message nobody understood no could diciffer but me.

"It's okay...someday I'll be with you"

I whispered before sliding off the bed. My legs felt week but I paid no attention to that.

I could feel the cold metal of my dagger on my back, which meant they hadn't taken it away from me.

I opened a door, which I hoped would be the bathroom but instead found myself in a walk-in wardrobe. There were black suits, shoes, shirts and cloaks. The odd dash of red was there as well but all in all, it was extremely dark. I loved it. Closing the door I resumed my search for the bathroom

I finally found it and drank out of the taps, not really wanting to pass out again. Especially in a castle full of vampires.

Turning off the tap I heard a door being opened and I let the dagger fall into my hand again.

"My queen?" A voice said.

A moment later Demetri walked into the bathroom and sighed when he saw me.

"Thank god you are here. I was worried for a second you had slipped out. Your scent is barely traceable. Good thing you have a heartbeat."

I rolled my eyes. Yes, I also thought it was a good thing I had a heartbeat. I do enjoy living.

"The others are getting quite antsy, especially Caius, you have been asleep for almost twelve hours. I'm afraid everyone but Jasper and Rosalie already had to leave and-"

Without a second thought, I filled a glass with water and poured it over his head.

Well, that shut him up.

"You're kidding me, right?"