**NOBODY'S POSITION**

Jane looked taken back. "I-i...do not understand my queen"

Shado scoffed. They never understood. Nome of them. Without another word, she turned around only to walk straight into Jasper's arms.

She just looked at him. Then she sped away. For the rest, of the day, nobody approached her. Shado spent her time in the library, ignoring anyone who was in it as well.

Caius was in trials all day and couldn't leave, which made him on edge, as he knew his mate was unhappy.

This evening they were going to leave and he already felt the strain of the mate bond, but he understood that she didn't trust him even if it hurt him to do so.

As Shado didn't have anything to pack she didn't bother to go to her room so when Caius found her she was still sitting in the library, curled up beside a fire with a book in her hand.

"Hello my love"

She looked up at the familiar voice.
"I am sorry you did not enjoy today. Have you eaten now?"

Shado was tempted to nod, but he would find out the truth anyway so she shook her head.

Caius growled at that, very displeased that his mate was starving.

"Come, I will take you to the kitchen. It has been far too long for a human, to go without food"

She wanted to scream at him for that. She had spent far longer without nutrition. Four days was nothing. You can survive about three weeks without food, she had found that out the hard way.

Of course, she was barely strong enough to breathe when those three weeks were over but she survived. She always would. Shado didn't want to die from something so stupid like cold or starvation. She swore herself she would go down with a big boom and drag the monsters from the island down with her.

But before that, she had to do a few more things. For starters, she had to find him so they could do all the things he promised they'd do. Even if she dragged his dead body out of his grave.

He had promised and he never broke a promise. Well, one he did break. He said he'd never leave, that she wouldn't have to be alone anymore. That wasn't true. She survived, but the price had been too high.

Shado didn't say anything as she watched Caius cook something for her. The chefs had already packed up for the day and gone to their rooms in the castle.

The blonde king was a good cook. Even if he hadn't eaten in over 3000 years he must have practiced at some point.

"I learned to cook, in case my mate was human, so I could take care of her," he said when he noticed her questioning gaze.

When it was time to go to the airport Caius hugged her, not wanting to let go. As much as Shado's mind hated this, her body felt safe in his arms so she didn't do anything. Besides, in the end, he might decide to keep her here if she didn't comply.

The flight was awkward, to say the least. Jasper and Rosalie sat next to Shado who was staring out of the window with an unreadable expression. The guards were opposite them and had given up trying to converse with anyone from the other side.

Shado didn't answer.
Rosalie only sneered at them
And Jasper seemed very uptight.

It also didn't help that the Volturi didn't like the vegetarian vampires, so before they started to kill each other, they just ignored the other one's presence.

The plane touched down a few hours later and they all got into cars with tinted windows that were already waiting for them at the airport.

The sun had already begun to rise when they arrived at the Cullen's house.

The next few days were uneventful. Shado stayed in her room almost all of the time, her blinds pulled closed, curled up in a corner, reading. She wanted to be left alone and just vanish into thin air.

Jasper sometimes came and sat down beside her. not a word was spoken between them as they read until Jasper had to get up to turn on the light, only to sit down again.

That's why they worked. Why Shado was closest to him. He didn't push. Although he didn't know why Shado was like this, he also didn't try to find out why.

It had been two weeks since the incident in Volterra when the doorbell rang. The Volturi guards already knew who it was of course. They had spent what felt like decades just staring at Shado's window from the outside. They couldn't even look at her, as she kept her blinds closed at all times.

They had hoped to form a connection to their human queen but she seemed to be a very closed off person. Even more than Marcus.

But they did notice how she barely slept and that when she did, it would only take a while before she'd wake up again. Her heartbeat working overtime, trying to calm down after a nightmare. The masters, especially Caius, had been very worried when they heard this, but nothing could be done.

A sleek black car pulled up at the house and Caius stepped out followed by Santiago and Afton as his guards.

Before they could even reach the front door it was opened by a smiling Alice.

"Welcome Caius, please do come in"

With that, she leads them to the living room, where the rest of the Cullens, minus Shado, were.

As soon as they entered the room, Jasper went to get Shado, who was in her room, reading, as always.

"Caius is here to see you"

"I don't care," she said quietly. "I don't need or want him...I'm fine alone"

"But you don't have to be alone. I don't know what happened but I do know is that you survived for nothing. Because what you are doing is not living."

"He promised he wouldn't leave. That I wouldn't be alone. He lied. Just like everyone else does. They are all liars. All of them. I read every book in this house and in the library of Forks and even Port Angeles. I looked for an answer. It says I should forgive the ones that hurt me. I don't want to forgive them. They should suffer. Just like I did. It is not fair that we had to die but they got to leave, to live." A tear slipped down her cheek. She threw the book she was holding against the wall beside her bed with all her strength and it landed on the floor with a thud.

Jasper took a step back. He was not expecting this. Shado was closed off and quiet, but this was new.

"You want a life without pain?"

"NO" she shouted. Her voice was loud. Louder than it had been in years. Or at least what the Cullens had heard. "No, damm it. They should get what they deserve. But they won't will they? Because everyone who knows is dead"

"But not you"

"You're wrong. I am dead. The others were only luckily their body died with them. But I will die...and before that, they have to."

"Trust me...killing is never the answer. It breaks your soul. The feeling of..."

"I know...but at some point, the body count doesn't matter. Tell me Jazz... do murderers deserve death? If they torture, abuse, and kill. Do they deserve to be killed? If you steal something they stole from you before... is it stealing?"

"No that wouldn't be "

"What if they stole time?"