TW: DISCUSSION OF SEXUAL ABUSE INC. RAPE - PLEASE EXCERCISE CAUTION WHEN READING AND CAREFULLY CONSIDER IF IT IS APPROPRIATE/ IN YOUR BEST INTERESTS FOR YOU TO READ.

"So who fucked who?"

I choke on my water when Lia greets me as I walk out my bedroom. None of them were here when I got back from class so I finished an assignment but now I'm greeted with three equally curious faces, each sporting a smirk like they know something juicy.

"I'm sorry?" I splutter, coughing a little as I regain my breath.

"Oh please, you don't expect us to believe you spent the night at lover boy's without some action?" Lia explains.

"I didn't go over there for a late night booty call Lia." I counter, "And we're not 'lovers'"

"So nothing happened?" Kate asks.

Wellll...

"Not nothing-"

Lia squeals but I hold up a hand to shush her.

"But we didn't do anything like that. We talked and fell asleep."

"If you were only going to sleep he could've brought you home for that." Sophia points out.

"I don't know what you want me to tell you. There's no beans to spill." I shrug.

"If Mason would spill his beans then there would be."  Lia grumbles, dramatically falling onto the couch.

"LIA!" I yelp, embarrassed by her crudeness.

Because you've already imagined it you hypocrite.

"What? I'm not getting any action so it's only fair I obsess over yours." She turns to Sophia, "You get railed anywhere risqué lately babe?"

"A classroom in B building?" Sophia offers.

"Meh." Lia replies, waving her off.

"... with a class next door and no lock on the door." Soph continues with a smirk.

Lia sits her, her eyes shining with some twisted curiosity, "...finish strong Soph..."

"On the desk of Seb's Economics professor who reminds them at the end of each session to practice abstinence until marriage."

"That's my girl." Lia says excitedly, high fiving Sophia, "See Lexi? This is the content I need"

"Sorry to disappoint." I reply, chuckling.

"Wait why does his economics teacher preach abstinence? Doesn't seem like her department." Kate chuckles.

"She has this whole campaign about banning sex on campus. Apparently it's offensive to her." Soph explains, rolling her eyes. "So we decided to offend her after she gave Seb a B for a 'lack of creativity' in his work."

"Excellent, so very creative of you." Lia says, so proudly she's practically beaming.

"Why thank you, we thought so." Soph replies with a bow.

Our conversation is interrupted by 'dings' from our phones. 

"Are we in a group text now?" I ask as I go into the notification.

There's a text to us girls and the guys who live in the hockey house from Seb.

"Get ready girls, party at ours at 7. Dress slutty, Anthony likes it." Sophia reads out, rolling her eyes.

"He does know he's asking me to dress slutty for my cousin right?" Lia grimaces.

As soon as she's said it our phones ding again with a text from none other than Anthony.

"Bro have some class, your girlfriend's in this chat." Lia reads out, "What about me?!" she protests, texting the same thing.

"Don't wear red. It makes your zits stand out." Kate reads his reply.

"Asshole." Lia mutters.

We have just over an hour to get ready so of course it's all stations go. I'm still not used to the effort they put into their appearance for any event really but parties seem to require even more attention. I never really cared, so long as I was covered up enough to feel comfortable.

But I find myself caring tonight because just maybe I finally have a reason to - someone to impress.

Someone who appears to have a sixth sense for me thinking about him because my phone dings with two texts from him - one sweet and one just plain odd.

"You're blushing." Kate giggles.

I'm pretty sure it only makes my cheeks turn a deeper shade of red.

"You like him." She notes, a sweet smile on her face.

"We're figuring it out." I reply, "But... yeah, it's nice."

Kate walks over and gives me a tight hug, something I've missed while my body healed from Derrick's last piñata party.

"I'm happy for you." she says gently, pulling back from our embrace.

"You don't think it's too soon?" I blurt out.

"Too soon?" She chuckles, "Lexi you've been waiting for this since you were a teenager. I'd say it's belated if anything."

"You know what I mean. Do you think I'm jumping into something too quickly with him after everything that's happened? Should I be giving him more time to process everything?"

"Did he ask for more time?" Kate ask, pulling a dress out her closet.

"No. He asked me not to leave him again actually."

Kate jumps up on her bed and pats the space next to her. I walk over and hoist myself up, waiting nervously for her input. She takes my left hand and holds it in her own, resting them on her right thigh.

"Brutal honesty time?" She asks.

"Please."

"You're being stupid."

Excellent.

"Well aren't you a treat." I scold sarcastically.

"Why yes I am, thank you for noticing." She replies smugly. Kate takes one look at my face and sighs, "You're getting cold feet because you feel like you shouldn't love him, that there's too much history and reasons to run in the other direction. Am I right?"

I flounder immediately, "No one said anything about love Kate."

"You didn't say I was wrong though did you?" she notes, a smug grin stretching out her lips.

I avert eye contact, naively hoping it'll make me less of an open book.

"Think of it like this. You don't love my brother do you?" 

"Uh... isn't your brother a minor?" I ask hesitantly.

Kate rolls her eyes, "That's not what I meant. You don't love my brother as a person, you have no emotions towards him, correct?"

"Yeah..."

"And why is that?"

I frown at her. 

"I love him, so why don't you?" she continues, speaking as though I should love him for that reason.

"I don't know why I would. I've not met him, I have no reason to feel anything." I explain.

"Exactly." she replies triumphantly. 

I stare at her blankly, "You've lost me."

Kate chuckles, "Emotions are subjective Lexi. There's no one explanation for why we feel them. The concept of Love is made into this huge phenomenon with people putting pressure on doing it the right way but who's to say what the right way even is. One person can not love someone because they're too short while another loves their partner even though they cheated on them a year ago." She smiles at me and tenderly squeezes my hand, "No one loves the same way, just like you don't love my brother the way I do. All that matters is that being with Mason makes sense to you, that it makes you happy. There're no rule book on who you can and can't fall for."

"It sounds so much simpler when you look at it from an outside perspective." I sigh.

"Most things are." Kate replies, "You've got to look at everything, not just pick out the faults. Sure, Mason's the same vindictive, alpha guy who carved through your skates and took cheap shots at you any chance you got. But he's also the guy who stepped back from his near decade long search for answers about why he was separated from his parents when he began to understand the pain it was causing you. He's been patient with you and like it or not he's the person you turn to when you're at your lowest. It wasn't your sister or any of us girls you wanted when you were terrified and hurting last week. You asked for him."

"He makes me feel safe." I confess.

"Then why would you let his imperfections be reasons not to love him?"

I roll my eyes playfully, "Because I'm stupid."

Kate jumps off the bed and bows, "And just like that, I've saved your relationship before it's even official."

I clap for her and also jump off the bed, "Bravo oh wise one." I curtsey to her, "I extend my gratitude to you."

Kate does a royal wave, "Yes, yes. You worship me, I know." She dramatically places the back of her hand on her forehead, "It's exhausting shouldering wisdom beyond my years."

I subtly pick up her blanket from the floor, continuing to play along with our charade, "Does such wisdom give you the ability to predict the future your highness?"

Kate turns swiftly to face our window, holding out a hand dramatically and I have to bite back my laugh, "I see... Mason drooling over you tonight... his knees turning weak when you walk through the door... I see-"

"This?" I ask, kissing her cheek from behind and throwing the blanket over her head. I run to the bathroom, laughing hysterically as I close the door.

"You bitch!" Kate screams, but I can here her laughing too.

"I thought you said you could predict things." I reply, in a fit of giggles.

"I predict you being pissed when I eat the last of your gummy worms." she yells.

I open the door sharply, giving her a death stare, "You wouldn't dare Bennett."

"Try me Turner." she winks and runs for the kitchen.

~~~~~~

We arrive at the guys' house just after 7:15, our lateness not going unnoticed since we're the first ones here. Lia snatched my gummy worms and Kate's red vines, holding them hostage to motivate us to get ready.

Sneaky bitch.

"Does good timekeeping mean nothing to any of you ladies? Now we don't have enough time for the group orgy before the dick blind freshmen get here." Anthony grumbles, then sighs. "Oh well, we still have time for at least two blowjobs each, who wants me first?"

Sophia sultrily walks up to him and places a hand on his chest. She smirks as Anthony gulps, "Put your dick anywhere near me or my girls... and I'll bite it off."

She pushes him out her way and moves to sit across Seb's lap, kissing him deeply as she does. Seb pulls away looking smug as hell and it's not hard to guess why.

"And on that note, I'm going to get as far away from cock-chomper over here as possible. Good luck with that one Sebby, I suggest skipping foreplay until she's had some pizza or you may be a penis short by morning" Anthony says pointing to Sophia before turning to the rest of us, "Anyone want a drink?"

"Sure." Kate says and I follow them into the kitchen with Lia.

Sam and Hugo are throwing a football across the kitchen, a fact Lia instantly mocks.

"Wow, not only are you guys shit at your sport, you can't even be loyal to it." She chuckles.

"You say disloyal, I say multi-talented." Sam shrugs.

"You have to be good at something to be considered talented Samuel." she rebuts and Hugo scoffs. "You got something to say caveman or have you not evolved to using words yet?" she chides.

Hugo throws the football to Sam and walks over to Lia, an intensity in his expression I've rarely seen this up close. He walks right into Lia's personal space and I see her subtly grip the kitchen counter behind her as he leans over her.

"Why would I waste my words on you?" Hugo says, his voice low and harsh.

I consider stepping in, not understanding why he's being cruel to her but Lia pushes herself up to her full height and I sense she wouldn't thank me for getting involved.

"If it's such a waste, why even bother asking?" Lia returns, her voice holding an unusual breathy quality.

Hugo smirks, "Maybe I'm curious."

"About?" Lia prompts irritably but Hugo doesn't answer. Instead he reaches around her for a bottle of whiskey and walks away without uttering another syllable.

"Anyone else wondering what just happened?" Sam asks, pointing over to where Hugo was previously lording over Lia.

"Yep." I reply, walking up to Lia, "You okay?"

"Me?" she questions as if she's surprised I'd ask. 

"Yeah. That seemed... intense." I point out.

Lia scoffs, "You and Mason aren't the only ones who knew each other before College Lexi. Hugo's a hometown problem that much to my annoyance followed me here."

I'm shocked by the revelation. It seems like something she'd have mentioned sooner than two months after Kate and I moved in - though I guess I've been preoccupied lately.

"What about me before College?" a deep voice that rises goose bumps over my body calls out as he enters the room from behind me.

I don't get chance to turn around before he settles his hands on my hips and speaks softly into my ear, "Don't turn around."

"Why not?" I ask.

"Because if you look even half as good from the front as you do from the back I'm not sure I'll survive it." 

Am I blushing? I think I'm blushing.

Mason gently kisses the side of my head.

Oh yeah, definitely blushing.

"Alrighty then, I'm going to leave you to eye fuck each other while I go drown myself in Vodka and perpetual loneliness." Lia states theatrically, turning and walking to the other side of the kitchen.

"Is she always like that?" Mason asks.

"Threatening to drown herself in Vodka or dramatically pointing out every inconvenience?" I ask, finally turning around to face him "Because the answer to both is yes. I'm just wondering the angle you're going for."

Mason's too busy running his gaze over my figure and tightly gripping my hips to listen.

"Mason?" I prompt.

"Oh I'm thinking about angles, just not the kind you are." He says and I swear his smirk melts my insides.

I clear my throat and step back, attempting to calm myself before I jump from zero to 100 real fast. I refuse to have forced myself into Sophia's black leather pants only to take them off 20 minutes later.

Not that I'm expecting anything like that to happen between Mason and I tonight. Just because we're taking a leap of faith doesn't mean I'll leap into his bed. Well, again.

I just wish my traitorous hormones would get the memo.

"So uh, how come we're here earlier than everyone else?" I ask, trying to divert the conversation away from anything remotely sexual.

But Mason, the horny college guy he is, is staring at my tits. Like, really staring. Like staring so hard I'm shocked he hasn't burnt a hole through my clothes.

"Eh hm." I clear my throat and cross my arms, purposely bolstering my chest in my figure hugging red, long sleeve shirt, "Something catch your attention Jennings?" I ask, sipping the drink Kate slid across to me.

"Nope." He says popping the 'p' and walking around me, whispering in my ear as he passed. "Two things caught my eye sweetheart."

My eyes go wide as I choke on my drink. I cough and splutter, the drink dripping out my mouth as I try to catch my breath.

Nothing says sexy like coughing up Vodka coke and saliva.

"You good?" Mason asks, rubbing my back and clearly trying not to laugh.

I shoulder him away, "Get fucked." I grumble, my voice husky from the coughing.

"You know that's not a punishment for me right?" He replied slyly, an annoying grin on his face.

I glare at him again and he finally relents.

"Come on" he says holding out his hand to me but I hesitate causing him to shrug, "Or don't and walk around with spit on your chin all night."

I raise my hands to hide my face from view. I'm not vain but walking around looking like a baby who spat up on themself is never not gross.

Not to mention mortifying in front of my not quite boyfriend.

Mason slings his right arm over my shoulders, chuckling and pulling me into the downstairs bathroom that leads off from the kitchen.

He leans in to whisper in my ear, "I personally don't mind it all. The context is the only thing ruining it."

This time I choke on fresh air instead of a drink.

Is it hot in here? It feels hot in here.

"You're cute when you're embarrassed." he chuckles.

I scoff as I grab a towel and clean off my face.

"I don't remember you being so expressive through words."

Mason shrugs, "Maybe I learnt their value."

I finish reapplying lip-balm and turn to him, "Oh yeah?"

"Mm hm." He hums, stepping forward into my personal space as I turn to face him, my back to the counter.

Mason places a hand on each side of me on the counter, leaning down to hover his face over mine.

"I've learnt..." he starts, his voice soft yet commanding. "...that words can be the most important part of foreplay..."

"Is that so?" I ask, my voice annoyingly breathy, obviously betraying my arousal.

Mason cups my jaw with his right hand and drags his thumb along my bottom lip, smearing my lip-balm onto my cheek.

"God I'm dying to know how you taste." He whispers.

Mason lowers his head even further and I hold my breath in anticipation of him kissing me. But he doesn't touch my lips. He kisses the smeared lip balm on my cheek, moving along my jaw with light presses of his lips.

He pulls back and runs his tongue over his lips, groaning at the back of his throat.

"So sweet." He whispers, emphasising the 't'. "Peach?" He asks but I know he knows the answer.

I breathe out shakily, "It's cruel to tease Mason."

His eyebrow quirks, "It is?"

Mason places his right leg between my thighs and I bite my lip to hold in a whimper at the contact, setting me alight even through clothes.

"If it's cruel... then why are you so hot?" He asks slyly.

I gape at him like a damn goldfish.

No one's ever spoken to me like this and I'm flustered beyond comprehension. If this is foreplay, I think I might like it even better than sex.

"I-"

I'm silenced with a soft kiss.

Mason pulls back sooner than I want him to and I hear my displeased huff before I can stop it.

Mason chuckles, "Easy Princess. We're gonna go slow."

I'm confused because Mason doesn't seem like the slow type.

That's when the anxiety creeps in, consuming my thoughts. Thoughts revolving around Mason treating me with kid gloves because he's used my unintentional hints as a treasure hunt for my childhood trauma.

He's going to treat me differently.

"You think I can't handle it. That I'll freak as soon as you dare to touch me." I say regretfully.

"No that's not it at all Lexi." Mason protests.

"Then why are you stopping?" I ask.

Mason sighs and pulls me into a hug.

"I just want you to be comfortable. I don't want to rush this." He explains.

I don't want to rush either but I worry this will become a hurdle for us if we dance around the subject.

So I take a deep breath and put on my big girl pants.

"I was sexually abused for the first time when I was 12."

Mason tenses but I have to get it out regardless of whether it's uncomfortable for