"I think I'll quit."

"What?"

"I think I'll quit," I repeated looking up at Pearl. I knew it was highly unusual to bring this up but since the confrontation the other day with Melanie and her little sidekick, more and more people had either come up to me (supposedly curious about Harry and I) and others had altered their behavior towards me.

"What? No. Why?" Pearl exclaimed. The expression on her face was genuinely concerned.

"I am.. strong. But I just can't do this. I can't even smile at anybody anymore. They hate me," I said sadly.

"Iris. You're one of the best employees there. You do your work well and you mind your business. Why not talk to Harry about it?"

"That's what you do when you have a problem at work? Talk to Harry?" I asked curiously. I couldn't imagine this self assured girl running to anyone for help.

"Well no. But–" she started and I sighed a little.

"Pearl, you know as well as me that it would cause even more problems. I know I shouldn't even be with Harry. I just... I don't know. I can't help myself."

I stirred the tea in front of me absently then tried to put on a bright smile when Pearl met my eyes.

"You love Harry, don't you?" Pearl asked quietly.

I widened my eyes and looked away, leaving the poor tea alone. Was I that obvious? No wonder everyone at the office hated me.

"I– I do." Honestly, I was shocked. It was almost like Pearl asking me that question had flipped some kind of switch in me.

Harry had his faults. But he was one of the most caring and beautiful people I had ever met. He had shown me so much. He had made me experience so much. I really loved him.

"I can see you're shocked," Pearl laughed. It wasn't funny to me.

"Of course I am. Wouldn't you be?" I asked Pearl, looking up to her.

"I– to be honest with you Iris, it's very easy to love Harry. I'd know," she said with a sad smile. I didn't react– I didn't even know how to– just waited for her to continue.

"Harry... saved me. I'd say I owe my life to him and I wouldn't be lying. Harry is a good person, Iris," Pearl finished, then placed her hand on mine. "He has so much love to give. People see him as this ruthless person but I promise you he's really not."

I looked down at our hands then looked up at her. Honestly, in this moment, I felt like pulling my hand away. It made me jealous, really jealous that someone else was talking about Harry.

I was resentful about the fact that she had known Harry longer. I knew it wasn't her fault. I knew I was being irrational. But I didn't feel like speaking to her much in that instant.

"Yeah, can we go back now?" I asked, slipping my hand from under hers. I didn't even want to look at her face. She was probably hurt but man, in that moment, I didn't care. It was my jealousy ruling me and nothing else.

"Oh yeah. Sure I guess." After flagging down the waiter and settling the bill, we got into her car.

The ride to the office was silent. I wasn't in the mood to talk and I think Pearl understood it. I still resented her but in that moment, I appreciated that.

We reached the office soon enough and I got down after thanking her for the afternoon. I might have been feeling jealous but my mama had raised me well.

The rest of the day passed like a breeze and without even waiting to see if Harry was done yet, I walked to the bus stop. This time, fate was working with me and nothing untoward happened. I didn't want another Parker episode.

The ride home was eventful. Not physically anyways. I was thinking. All sorts of thoughts. The fact that I had realized that I loved Harry had actually chilled me.

I didn't want to love anyone. I had seen what love had done to people. My aunt had fallen in love with this man and he had proceeded to use her until he dumped her. My dad on the other hand had conveniently fallen in love with some other women when I was 10. I actually lived my mother's heartbreak.

I didn't even know what Harry felt for me. Yes, he had said I was his woman and spilled some smooth speech that had made me fall under his spell. But that wasn't the guarantee that he even felt a fraction of what I felt for him.

Thinking about feelings and all of that was extremely hard. I didn't want to get my heart broken...

Honestly, if you ask me how I got to my apartment, I wouldn't be able to tell you. It was like I was no longer in my body. I was tired.

My apartment felt foreign. It had been a few days since I had even been in it, so of course it felt that way. I almost felt like an usurper. I wanted to go back to what was familiar. But I needed time by myself.

I changed and got in bed, then I called my mom. She always knew how to make me feel better.

"Mom?" I said in a small voice as soon as she picked up.

"My baby." I smiled instantly. There was nothing like your mother's voice to just make you feel much better instantly.

"How are you mom? I miss you so much," I said, sighing.

"I miss you too. I'm so lonely here." I bit my lip. I wished I could hug her.

"It'll be Christmas break soon mom. I'll spend all day with you," I said, trying to reassure her.

"Yeah you'd probably run away after spending a few hours with me," my mother joked and we laughed.

"Trust me mom, I need the break," I said and sighed deeply.

"What is wrong?"

"I– mom have you ever felt like you are giving someone too much control?" I asked, then mentally face palmed. I wished I could take back my words. I had seen first hand how heart break had almost destroyed my mother.

"Iris, listen to me. I don't know what is happening. But do not give your heart to someone unless you're absolutely sure you have theirs as well. I didn't birth you for you to cry over stupid boys. You have so much more to achieve in this life."

"Too late mom," I whispered.

There was silence for a while. Then my mother said, "I am coming to see you this weekend."

"Mom you don't have to."

"I want to. That is final. I love you baby girl. Don't do anything stupid, okay?"

"Yes momma. I love you."

I stayed in the same spot for while. Then I turned off my phone and lay in my bed. It was going to be okay.

***

Word count: 1183

Hi guys 🕺🕺🕺
Sorry for taking a while to update

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Of Iris?

And guys please don't judge too hard. Sometimes we get confused by our own feelings and mess everything up in our minds

Btw Mama Bear to the rescue! 🕺

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