BF - You starve yourself (Part 1)

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⚠️TRIGGER WARNING⚠️

If you feel uncomfortable about the topic of self starvation PLEASE don't read this.

....

Y/b/n is a singer. He was so talented since we were young. We met because of our parents, they were bestfriends.

At first we were just friends and as the time goes by we fell in love (how predictable that is haha). We are 3 years in the relationship and I can't be more thankful of that.

Everyday y/b/n was becoming more and more famous. He just released his 3rd album, how proudful was that right? Meanwhile I'm just a normal university student, a useless one.

I wasn't too thin or too fat but I have curves in the wrong places. No thigh gaps, no thin arms, curvy stomache. This is not what I want. I hate myself.

Many people don't like me, obviously because they are jealous or something.  
"You're too fat, you don't deserve y/b/n, you're a monster, kill yourself." At first I ignored those harsh comments but whenever I look at the mirror I somehow agreed to them. Maybe they were right.

Y/b/n and I were eating breakfast. I eat slowly and little so he won't notice. I still eat but I throw up after. If he's not here, I don't eat at all. It's been going on for a week already since I started doing this to myself and I kinda liking it. I lost about 10 kg. already, too fast but It's for the best.

"Babe I have to go to the studio now. We are preparing for tour. I might not make it until dinner. I'm sorry," he said holding my hand in pity. "It's find babe do your job. I'm so proud of you do you know that?" He smiled at me and pecked my lips.

"I have to go now. Call me if you need me ok? I love you," he kissed me again and get his stuffs. "I love you too, drive safely," I reminded.

I went to the bathroom to do my 'usual thing' which is throwing up. I don't want to worry him that's why I eat how much food he wants me to eat. He doesn't care wether I gain a lot of pounds.

I opened the door, not locking it since I know I'm home alone. I knelt down in front of the toilet and put 2 fingers as deeply as I could. I started to regurgitate some of the food I ate a while ago. But it's not all.

For the second time, I used my finger again, nothing. I tried it a couple of times already until I gag. I felt sick but I don't give up.

Before I could use my fingers again, I heard someone talked behind me.

"Why?" was the only thing he could say.


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